Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli got divorced way back in 2012 after 12 years of marriage. At the time, there were rumors that he had a Canadian side piece while on the Twilight set. They have three daughters together: Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17. Honestly, I always kinda wrote Peter off as some douchebag who saw a career bump after Twilight and it went to his head. I know he’s been the face of some good causes in recent years, though.
Anyway, Peter made a guest appearance on the latest ep of Jennie’s podcast, I Choose Me With Jennie Garth, which was the first part of a two-part episode arc featuring Peter. It also marks the first time they’ve discussed their marriage and divorce publicly, and they got into the weeds, talking about their courtship, what went down during their divorce, having to figure out who they were as individuals, successful co-parenting, and more. They got pretty candid about it all, and this is only part one!
“We came together very fast, very furious, and very quick and I remember thinking, ‘Well, let’s move in together and see how it goes,’ and it just went,” Facinelli recalled of their romance. “Five years went by, and I thought, ‘Well, we should get married.’ Then we got married and had another kid. It was almost like an arranged marriage in a way and things seemed well. We had disagreements here and there, but I think we were really young.”
Noting that the Beverly Hills, 90210 star already had an established career by the time he met her in his early ’20s, Facinelli said that they were at very different places in life.
“I didn’t have a sense of who I was, and so I was just trying to be all these things for other people,” Facinelli explained. “When that fell apart, it took me time to try to get in touch with me.”
Repeating the sentiment that it felt like they had “an arranged marriage,” Facinelli added, “I loved you and we had this beautiful family from the outside, but I hadn’t developed who I was. So how you could you love me? I didn’t know me.”
He also confirmed to Garth that he didn’t feel like he had the “space” to figure out who he was within their marriage.
“Considering all of that, we really did last a long time. I think because of the children,” Garth said of the former couple’s three kids.
“I think if we didn’t have children, I wouldn’t have stayed,” Facinelli admitted. “Because of the freedom to go, ‘OK, I need to figure out who I am.'”
Saying he felt “conflicted” about the decision to ask Garth for a divorce, Facinelli noted, “It broke my heart to break up a family. It was one of those decisions where you never know if you’re making the right decision.”
Garth said that at the time, she felt like her ex wanted her to thank him for being brave enough to broach the topic of a divorce.
“I feel like you wanted me to say, ‘Thank you for your courage,’ but I could never get to that,” Garth said, adding, “I remember distinctly in that RV, ‘Jen, some day you’re going to thank me for this,’ and I got so pissed at you. I was like, ‘I’m never going to thank you for this!'”
“But you’re in a wonderful marriage now with an incredible man,” Facinelli said, referencing Garth’s husband, Dave Abrams, whom she married in 2015.
“But now, my point is, I thank you for doing it for all the growth I’ve experienced from it and because of it, I wouldn’t be who I am now,” Garth shared. She went on to praise her ex for being a present parent to their daughters, Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17.
“I have the space within my heart now to find all those areas of respect for you and your decision, why you made it for yourself, and how hard that was for you and your concern for the girls’ feelings and how it affected them,” Garth said. “I have a lot of gratitude knowing that you are a full-time dad.”
The exes also spoke about their ups and downs co-parenting after their divorce. They have shared 50/50 custody of their kids, which Garth said she “emotionally regretted,” wanting more.
“At the same time I knew that having you, their father, for 50 percent of the time was absolutely the best for them,” Garth admitted.
Facinelli felt the struggle communicating with his ex early on.
“I think that where we could have done better, or I could have done better was communicating more,” Facinelli admitted. “Because we spent a lot of time texting back and forth.”
“We wasted so much time trying to prove our points to one another,” Garth agreed.
Facinelli noted that sometimes their daughters “play us against each other,” and explained that he doesn’t always feel he has the space to parent on his own.
“It’s hard when I’m trying to parent, and I feel like I’m always being looked over, like I’m not doing it well, I’m not doing it right. I need to be able to have the space to parent in my own way,” he shared.
However, despite all of this, Facinelli and Garth both agreed that they’re proud of the blended family they’ve created.
“Whatever we did, whether it was right or wrong, they grew up to be wonderful kids and I feel very fortunate,” Facinelli said.
This is such an honest and mature conversation. Everything that they’re saying about how they felt, from Peter being scared to ask for a divorce to Jennie’s reaction to the feelings over custodial arrangements. I’m impressed that they’re so open and sensible while discussing it now. Regardless of whatever else went down behind the scenes, it’s clear that they’ve both put in the work to get to the place that they are now. They’re so friendly, if not actually friends now. Although, it’s kinda weird that Peter keeps referring to their marriage as an “arranged marriage,” right? As for Jennie, I bet time has been a big factor in her healing, too. It sounds like she’s in such a great place, looking back on this terrible thing that happened from the other side and seeing how it worked out for the best in the end. Even though they’re all older now, I’m sure their daughters are relieved that their parents are able to get along with one another as well. I admit, I’m interested in hearing what they have to say in part two.
photos via Instagram and credit: WENN/Avalon, Enzo Fornino/Avalon
Is this something that their kids like to be out so public? Like I get it is purging and cathartic and possibly bringing things to light that help others make some decisions.. But it feels immensely private and as a product of this relationship, would I really not have a problem with everyone knowing this? Dunno.. TMI
They didn’t reveal anything private or embarrassing about their children. They are allowed to talk about their relationship as it’s their story.
It’s one thing for them to know about it privately. Another story entirely when it’s out there for public consumption.
That being said this I’m sure this is true about a lot of marriages tbh the kids are what kept most couples together to a certain point.
Kids are 17, 21 and 26. I think they’re old enough to understand and respect what their parents are saying–and none of it is particularly scandalous or embarrassing. She’s not Tori Spelling.
I was thinking of Tori and Dean the entire time I was reading this. Jennie and Tori have remained close friends throughout, and I honestly can’t imagine two more different breakdowns of a marriage. These two are so mature, and Tori and Dean are the exact opposite. I don’t think I could have hung around for the endless drama if I were Jennie.
Good for Jennie and Peter, I am going to listen to this ASAP. I like both of them so much more after reading this, thanks, Rosie!
I am the exact same age as the characters of Beverly Hills, 90210 (class of ’93, Donna Martin graduates!), and I am so aware of the parasocial relationship I have with this cast. I generally laugh about it, but today I am just going to be glad it wasn’t Glee that I formed a childhood connection to.
OMG I pictured their kids as little, and now I feel OLD.
I’m with you Oliviaone. While they did talk about their relationship and not the kids, it can be really hard on the kids to know this about your parents. I’m not sure they are old enough to have the perspective that it wasn’t about them. But who knows? Kids are pretty smart about things like that these days.
I thought the “arranged marriage” comments were interesting, too. They got together of their own free will after experiencing attraction, which seems the opposite of an arranged marriage. He clearly felt trapped, though, which is I guess what he meant.
Yeah I mean, on one hand I appreciate his honesty here. On the other hand, he sounds like he was an immature ahole when they got married. I just don’t have a lot of time for guys who rush into things only to end up “needing space” to “find” themselves or whatever. TBH, he sounds like a nightmare to be married to and I’m happy for Jennie to be out of that and with someone who is stable, mature, and nurturing. And I’m glad these two have found a healthy rhythm when it comes to co-parenting-that’s the most important thing in their current relationship.
I was confused by the “arranged marriage” comment as well. Wasn’t she married when she met him? She divorced the other guy for him. That’s not what I call an “arranged marriage” where two people are brought together for reasons society deems appropriate at the time.
I took it to mean that their relationship progressed quickly and he was young and felt kind of swept up in the whole progression: courtship, marriage, kids. He did what he was supposed to do, he followed the program of societal expectations, of her expectations, while maybe not being mature or self-aware enough to make those decisions.
You’re confusing Jennie with Tori. Peter was Jennie’s second husband but her first marriage ended in 96 (Jennie and Peter got married in 2001). Tori and Dean both had overlap in their marriages.
Jennie got married to Peter later — maybe after she had her daughter? But I could have sworn the actual dating took place much earlier. Dating and marriage are two different things. I thought the dating took place while she was, um, sort of married. Or at the very least she met Peter while she was married. Not sure if she actually cheated, but they knew each other for some years prior to the actual marriage. That’s why the term “arranged marriage” continues to remain puzzling to me, even when people explain his thought process. I get why he thinks like this; I just think the term sounds stupid when he uses it haha.
She seemed determined to make the second marriage work. But there was a starter marriage to a guy in some band that didn’t work out for whatever reason. I thought it didn’t work out because she met Peter.
At first I wanted to scream “you should have used birth control”, you baby man twat! You didn’t stop at 1 child but 3! but then as I read more – I applaud them both for being able to have this open and honest conversation. This is not an easy conversation to have and takes a lot of inner growth, maturity and understanding that comes with time to reflect on past behavior. A lot of people never would be able to have this conversation even 40 years later.
Exactly this. I have been through my own divorce, and these two have obviously done A LOT of work. I’m impressed.
I really appreciate this mature and honest discussion of their marriage and divorce. It’s so refreshing.
It sounds like he thought the marriage was what he wanted because it’s the path you’re supposed to follow, and didn’t realize until they were three kids in that it wasn’t what he actually wanted. Sounds like he was pretty immature then, but probably made the right call leaving.
She always seemed so much into him than he was into her.
“Needing to go away and find oneself” is something you need to do when you know you’re not with the right person. It’s not an issue if you’re with the right person.
Agree that they’re open and mature and it’s good they learned to get along and the kids seem well adjusted and cared for when they were growing up.
I think that’s such a valid point