Jodie Turner-Smith’s divorce lesson? ‘People don’t need to know everything’

Jodie Turner Smith filed for divorce from Joshua Jackson last October. She hasn’t looked back since then. Does that surprise you? It surprises me a little bit – years ago, I would have described Jodie as someone who enjoys some TMI, especially about her marriage and personal life. She was even a little bit messy back in the day. But there’s been a real change, a real maturing. It’s nice to see. She’s a single mother to daughter Juno, and she’s not trying to beef with Joshua publicly or privately. But all indications, Jodie simply wanted to move on from the relationship and there wasn’t one big “thing” which caused her to file for divorce. I bring all of this up because Jodie covers the latest issue of The Cut, and much of the piece is about how Jodie is rebuilding her life and trying to grow her career post-Joshua. She comes across as very Zen and at peace with her choices. Some highlights:

Her living situation: After filing for divorce in September, she has been bopping from place to place. Last year, she moved out of Jackson’s childhood home in Topanga Canyon, which she describes as “a very beautiful gilded cage.” She’ll look for her own place in L.A. as soon as she gets back from London where she’s shooting a yet-to-be-announced show. “I don’t have the luxury of turning down a job because of location. I am a single mom now. ‘I got a baby. I need some money. I need cheese for my egg,’ as Ms. Cardi B says.”

Walking her first red carpet with Joshua Jackson at the ‘Queen & Slim’ premiere. “It all came from a really innocent place. I didn’t understand how sinister that could end up being for me. It was taking away from a moment that I needed to have on my own. It opened up a very painful conversation to the world about who I was with and how right or wrong it was to be with that person. And when you’re pregnant, it’s like the most vulnerable time of your life.”

Joshua’s relationship with Lupita Nyong’o. “Good for them. We need happiness in order to peacefully co-parent. I’m trying to get us to the Gwyneth and Chris Martin level. I truly hope they’re happy and that it benefits us as a family.”

When Black people accused her of internalized racism for marrying Joshua. “The most painful was the commentary about why I had chosen him for a partner, that I chose him because I hated myself, because I wanted a light-skinned baby: All these things that are not an accurate reflection of why a person falls in love or at least why this person did. When you’re in the public eye, a part of you belongs to the public. It stops being yours and becomes theirs too. I didn’t have an accurate scope of understanding what it would mean to share my relationship with the public. It’s something I will never do again. Ever. That is one major lesson that I took away from this, which is just that people don’t need to know everything.”

Men are regressing: “No matter how forward-thinking they say they are, men are subject to the conditioning under which they have been raised. And there is just a little part of every man, which says ‘Once a woman has his child, they need to operate in a certain way,’ that is more indicative of limited traditional roles than it is of reality. Every creative needs a partner who’s got to support their choices.”

Breastfeeding: “I’ve looked the same for a very long time. I definitely keep going back and forth about whether I want to get my boobs done, because I breastfed my daughter for three years. My boobs are … They’re relaxed.”

She just needs peace: “I just have to do everything that I can to set Juno up to win and to peacefully co-parent with someone whom I once loved very, very much. Peace is what’s needed right now. Grace is what’s needed right now. Love, empathy, compassion. I’m trying to be all those things and have faith that when I’m all those things, I will see that reflected back toward me.”

[From The Cut]

“That is one major lesson that I took away from this, which is just that people don’t need to know everything.” That’s a good lesson to learn at any age, especially with the internet. Jodie left Twitter a while ago but she’s still on Instagram, and now she’s using it almost purely for work and fashion (which is work for her). The Cut piece makes an interesting point, which is that Jodie did what so many actresses/celebrities did, she parlayed the interest in her personal life into actual work and professional hype. In Jodie’s case, it was treated differently because of her race and because she was married to a white guy who used to be considered such a heartthrob. Anyway, I like what she says about needing peace and wanting everyone to be happy. I’m glad she’s basically taking every job she’s offered too – make that bread, mama.

Cover courtesy of The Cut, additional photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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32 Responses to “Jodie Turner-Smith’s divorce lesson? ‘People don’t need to know everything’”

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  1. Chaine says:

    So many layers of pain in that interview. It sounds like Joshua Jackson needs to get himself in order. I truly hope that she and her child can get to a space where people/social media don’t keep requiring her to justify her past decisions.

    • KP says:

      Except she is kinda full of crap. From following her on social she barely lived at the house mentioned as they rented in LA during their marriage and she was away working all the time.

      Quite honestly she came across as a total narcissist even by actor standards. She wanted to have everything her way and her family/entourage were always there.

      I did feel bad for her when the twitter nuts went after her. That part if unacceptable but expecting your spouse to be happy about being treated as an appendage and then getting annoyed when they finally push back is not great.

      She probably was not into marriage because that requires compromise and she clearly did not want to on any level. Hope they are both happy but it is wild to see her try and flip the script on who gave up what.

      • Meredith says:

        You seem to have a lot of inside info about them! Are you friends of theirs?

      • lanne says:

        People tend to say that about women who want things for themselves beyond what society says they should be “happy with and grateful for”. The “probably” gives your misogyny away, whether it’s deliberate or internalized.

      • CAIT says:

        Basically! It was her running her mouth about their relationship non-stop. She tan to people magazine to talk about her issues with Colorism as a Jamaican Brit and hiw she always wished for a light skinned daughter.
        It was TMI in the extreme. Also it was Jodie who let the world know she proposed to him .
        She got a touch of mainstream attention and just went wild with it.

      • GrnieWnie says:

        @Cait correct me if I’m wrong but I seem to recall her saying she wanted her child to be light skinned so she wouldn’t experience what Jodie experienced … something to that end. It wasn’t that she hated her own colour, but the way you’ve presented what she said somewhat suggests that (what’s TMI about talking about colourism and wanting your child to not have your experiences?). If so, that’s obnoxious.

    • Kitten says:

      I read the same interview and nowhere did I get “Josh needs to get himself in order”. Is there something I don’t know? I thought they agreed on joint custody and that neither is paying the other child support. It seems like a fair and equal arrangement??

      • Meredith says:

        I think she meant about his internalized, possibly unconscious, sexism about how mothers should behave, not anything about the terms of the divorce. That’s what I gathered was the problem in Jodi’s explanation in the linked article.

  2. Sarita says:

    I was so surprised by their split, and more so by how quick and quietly it was all handled.
    That point she made about men acting differently after a woman has their child is the first (and likely only) tea about why she left.

    • Kitten says:

      Its old tea though.
      It’s been heavily inferred by her team that Josh didn’t want her to have a career which is weird considering he has always dated actresses and is currently dating an actress who’s, so far at least, had a more successful career than Jodie.
      I tend to believe that it was less about that and more about two people with strong personalities discovering that they’re incompatible after the honeymoon period wore off. *shrug*

      • Walking the Walk says:

        Yeah, I think it was that they both didn’t want to give up their careers. They both got “hot” at the same time and someone was going to have to give up something.

      • Yup, Me says:

        None of those other actresses were the mothers of his children, though. And Lupita, while very successful, is also not a mother (yet).

  3. Christine says:

    Every time she opens her mouth, I like her more.

    • Tulipworthy says:

      I am the complete opposite. I like her less every time she opens her mouth.

      • Kingston says:

        @Tulipworthy

        Ditto.

        When she opened her piehòle & jumped on the lets-trash-Meghan train i have had nothing but contempt for her.

  4. HillaryIsAlwaysRight says:

    I can’t fault him for wanting her to be home more with a small child – if that was the cause of their disagreement. Everyone parents differently, and it sounds like their approaches just didn’t mesh. It’s not something you can know until you’re in the situation. The sad part is, now their daughter will have significantly less time with each of them.

    And good for her for breast feeding so long! My pediatrician encouraged me to do the same, but I only made it to two years for each of my 2 kids.

    • isabella says:

      Wait, two years is not enough anymore according to a pediatrician? Ouch.

      • HillaryIsAlwaysRight says:

        It only hurts in the first few weeks. 😉 And after the first year, they gradually nurse less and less, until you’re down to only 2 or 3 times a day. Outside of the developed countries, nursing until 3 or 4 is common.

    • Yup, Me says:

      She couldn’t have been away from the baby all that much if she was able to breastfeed for three years. She may have been traveling a lot for work, but her baby was with her.

  5. borgqueen says:

    When JJ was doing press for his remake of Fatal Attraction, he said something about that his partner doesnt care if he cheats and I thought that was so odd for him to say. Maybe he thought Jodie would stay after having a child and he gets to eat his cake too with having side pieces.

    • KP says:

      That was not what he said at all. He said he thought an affair could be forgiven but that it would take a lot to work through it. Heck it was talked about on this site if you want to look it up. Some people say nope never-that would be me. Others are more maybe etc.

  6. Aurora says:

    I don’t know specifically what went down between her and Joshua. But I don’t think a person’s life or purpose can remain unchanged after getting married and becoming a parent.
    I totally understand that she wanted to grab the momentum, cashing in her newly found exposure in benefit of her career and her finances. Tbh, I used to think Joshua’s image was also very much improved by this relationship. She’s new, shiny stunning; and he’s a memorable has-been.
    But then again, maybe that was not the moment to have a baby.

    • HillaryIsAlwaysRight says:

      He’s not a has-been. He’s booked and busy. It would be unreasonable to expect Pacey-level fame for his whole career. He’s making a movie with Jackie Chan right now.

    • isabella says:

      He was brilliant in The Affair. He met Jodi in 2018 and the Affair ran until 2019. She was appearing everywhere without him on her modeling gigs (and good for her) so I don’t think he held her back. As she said they only did the carpet that one time.

  7. MrsBanjo says:

    I like how she describes her boobs. “Relaxed.” I love that especially because I hear so much about how breastfeeding guarantees bigger boobs and lost weight and it’s just not true for everyone. I really appreciate that she’s speaking honestly about it and whether or not cosmetic work is in the cards.

  8. Walking the Walk says:

    Eh how are people reading shade into this? She’s young and a hot property now, she didn’t want her career to take a backseat to being a mother. Heck, even Jennifer Garner admitted that was how her marriage worked. How many HW actresses have we seen that did this like Phoebe Cates and Cameron Diaz? Heck, even Michelle Obama said there’s no true 50/50 in a marriage, you are giving up something. Glad they realized it wasn’t going to work and they both have moved on with other people and are happily co-parenting.

    The only thing I would say is that some of this should have been discussed before they got married and had a kid.

    Also Black people going at her about being married to a white man just drove me up the wall. People were happy to say he was cheating on her, didn’t want to be with her, etc. It was awful.

  9. Flamingo says:

    I remember how much Peter Facinelli wanted Jennie Garth to be a SAHM. She did and where did that get her. Cheated on and dumped when he got the Twilight glow up.

    Honestly, just sounds like two people that loved each other but had different views on what marriage should be and went their separate ways. Very undramatic.

    I am also currently binging her with Anne Boleyn and she is fantastic!

  10. Mee says:

    ladies please don’t pressure on yourself to breastfeed for 3 years. There is no cognitive difference between breastfed and non-breastfed children. And the nutritional value the child receives decreases and continues to after the first 6 months. We’ve seen women with blocked ducts who had no milk or not enough, so do what you can, your baby will be just fine. And yes, your boobs will deflate if you breastfeed that long.

    • isabella says:

      Thank you for saying this. My child and I were terrible at breastfeeding and didn’t manage long. We’re both healthy and happy. I can’t help thinking that advice is just more pressuring women to stay home. I remember when we were supposed to “wear” our babies. I know a woman who did that and she eventually told her husband, “You try it.”

    • HillaryIsAlwaysRight says:

      Breast feeding is definitely not easy in our culture because A) most of us didn’t grow up seeing it, so we don’t know how it’s done; B) the US doesn’t support women in general, so to have the time to be home with a new baby is a luxury. I was very lucky in that my husband was making enough to support us at the time, so I could stay home and take (unpaid) leave from my job, and I had an outstanding pediatrician who came and slept over in our apartment to get up with me all night to teach my son to latch, because he and I were both not getting it right. It is important to do for as long as one can just because the mom’s immune system is imparted to the baby that way. It’s more about the immune system than cognitive development.

  11. Ben says:

    Either she or Michaela Coel should have been the new Catwoman in Rob Patterson Batman movie.

  12. NikkiK says:

    You know Lupita dates white men and no one accuses her of having self hate. Halle Berry dated white men. Melody Hobson is married to George Lucas, and Alfre Woodard is married to a white guy – and people don’t care.

    Jodie left out a whole lot of context. People weren’t saying that solely because she was dating a white guy, it’s because she had a history of saying things that came across as someone who didn’t like their skin tone, had issues with their own blackness, resentment towards other Black people, etc etc.

    Also who the heck says their light skin daughter will help them heal their issues with being dark skinned, someone with some issues.