Prince William turned 42 years old last Friday. It felt like it wasn’t a traditional “royal birthday,” in that Kensington Palace didn’t brief multiple reporters about William’s keen plans to be a global statesman and how he’s incandescent with rage over all things Sussex. Well, there was ONE briefing. It’s an interesting one at that. It comes from Richard Kay at the Daily Mail, someone known to have deep sources in KP and, oddly enough, Buckingham Palace. Kay’s piece plays a dangerous game, going overboard with William’s talking points about Prince Harry and William’s estrangement and Huevo’s “year from hell,” but there’s a ton of subtext in the piece about how KP is still putting out janky edited photos and the Waleses are stupidly obsessed with never telling the truth and a lot more. I mean, the biggest headline is that William is still whining endlessly about the Sussexes. Now that Kate has “come back,” it’s back to regularly scheduled programming, it seems. Some highlights:

The weird (edited) photo released for William’s birthday: Observers will be searching for clues ­everywhere, from where precisely it was taken to its composition. But the central message would seem to ­suggest a much simpler one: after the year from hell for our most photogenic royals, things seem to be getting better.

William is still handsome?? It can be said with some certainty that the mood in the family home ­yesterday was cheerful. Even so, when William peered into his shaving mirror, he will have seen a face that has noticeably aged in the past 12 months. Still handsome, but the ­reflection will show a profile which is a ­little thinner and the lines a touch deeper.

Infuriated by the speculation about Kate’s health: At times this year he has been infuriated by the global social media firestorm surrounding his wife’s health. Her long absence from the royal front line triggered multiple ­conspiracy theories about her well-being and her whereabouts. She was subjected to a barrage of trolling that has been both ­upsetting and offensive. The prince responded with anger and frustration. ‘In a way that has been quite a useful foil,’ says one of his circle. ‘It has added to his resilience, which he has always possessed, and I think it is fair to say it has helped him cope.’

William expected Harry to run back to deal with Kate & Charles’s cancer battles: If ever William has needed the support of a brother who was once seen as vitally important to the running of the monarchy, it has been this year. But for all the honeyed words of so-called friends that Harry is ­prepared to do his bit at a time of royal crisis, that ship has surely sailed. While the King hankers for the day when he can see his Sussex grandchildren without the ­rancour that seems permanently to ­surround relations with his ­California-based son, William has, as a friend says, ‘turned the page’ on that chapter of his life. ‘Whatever might happen in the future, the trust that was implicit in his relationship with Harry is gone for good,’ they say. ‘Even if it is possible that some kind of ­managed reconciliation could be achieved, it will be never anything more than superficial.’

Charles & William’s relationship: The temper tantrums that once marked their relationship have passed. Like his father, William has a short fuse but one, ­according to friends, that is ‘getting longer’. As for the King, he is grateful that he and William have been drawn closer. ‘They don’t talk about the past and Charles feels lucky that the two of them can talk about ‘the job’,’ says one old friend. ‘The illnesses have increased the bond between them, but there is also greater tolerance between the two men.’ This closeness has also given William an appreciation that has not always been evident for his stepmother, Queen Camilla, and the vital part she plays in his father’s life. She not only supports him as he fulfils his duties but keeps him cheerful.

Charles’s worries over an angry egg: Charles still worries about his son’s custody of the Duchy of Cornwall, the land and property estate from which ­William derives his income. It is, along with the Prince’s Trust, Charles’ most obvious legacy — and a highly profitable one too. When he was running the duchy, Charles was recognised as a man of the land, with not just an ­abiding love for the countryside but a deep knowledge of rural issues too, from a familiarity with rare breeds of cattle and lambing to hedge-laying and the ­maintenance of dry-stone walls. With so much on his plate, it is hardly surprising that William has yet to find the time to develop the philosophical zeal for the duchy that his father exhibited over the decades.

William is so lazy: The King would also like his son to take on some patronages in the world of the arts and culture, but there is a general agreement that such unresolved matters can be put to one side while Kate’s health remains the number one consideration.

William wants Royal Lodge: It has led to speculation that it is William who is pushing his father to evict the Duke of York from Royal Lodge, so the Waleses could move in. But, as a friend of the couple noted, taking on Royal Lodge would mean a ­transformation in the way they lead their lives. One of the main reasons why the couple are so content at Adelaide Cottage, their current home in Windsor Great Park, is because it is a family house and there are no live-in staff. Moving into the vast Royal Lodge would mean having to accommodate domestic staff, something they have long resisted.

[From The Daily Mail]

If you think Will and Kate clean their multiple homes and take out the garbage and trim their own hedges, boy, do I have news for you. They have tons of domestic staff, the staffers just don’t live-in. W&K don’t want any additional witnesses to their very weird domestic set-up, nor do they want prying eyes into what has been happening in their marriage for years. The stuff about Charles’s disappointment that William is so dull, useless, incurious and uneducated is certainly fascinating too. William’s not going to take on any more patronages unless it’s some kind of diss to Harry. Speaking of, the whole Harry section is so utterly bizarre. It’s like… William is truly mad that Harry didn’t rush back to take care of Kate?? Or take care of Poor William? “But for all the honeyed words of so-called friends that Harry is ­prepared to do his bit at a time of royal crisis, that ship has surely sailed.” Harry never said any of that, it was made up by British tabloids. And I love the fact that the Sussexes just blanked on W&K entirely for months. That’s the healthiest choice, especially when the heir is still stomping his feet and punching walls about “why doesn’t Harry come back when Charles has cancer??”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Kensington Palace.