Kelly Bensimon is a 56-year-old RHONY alum. She’s also a former model and former fashion editor. Her stint on RHONY seemed to give a boost to her career as an all-around celebrity and she reportedly has a net worth around $10 million. In 2009, she was charged with misdemeanor assault for allegedly punching her boyfriend at the time, Nick Stefanov. She ended up taking a plea deal and performing two days of community service. Years later, she met Scott Litner at a Rangers game. Litner is a finance bro who has worked for Bank of America, Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns. They got engaged last year on the Fourth of July. Their wedding was supposed to happen this coming weekend, only Kelly called off the wedding and ended the engagement. She issued statements to Us Weekly and People Magazine about why she ended things so suddenly:
Kelly Bensimon is speaking out after calling off her wedding to financier Scott Litner four days before the pair were supposed to tie the knot, telling PEOPLE that she “refused to marry him” after he wouldn’t sign a prenup.
“Ultimately, my decision is nobody’s business, but I understand that there is speculation and gossip, and I want to put an end to all of it,” Bensimon, 56, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “To be clear, he refused to sign a prenuptial agreement, and I refused to marry him. Full stop.”
PEOPLE confirmed Bensimon called off the nuptials earlier this week, with an insider close to the reality star saying that she was taking time for herself to regroup during a difficult time.
In an official statement, the Real Housewives of New York City alum confirmed the news, saying that the June 29 wedding was called off on Tuesday, June 25, and that she was “disappointed by this turn of events.”
“She was looking forward to an exciting new chapter in her life together with Scott when everything became clear to her late on Tuesday afternoon,” the statement read, adding a quote from Bensimon herself: “He thought that I would enter this union without legal protections in place, that I would leave everything to faith. But I’ve worked really, really, hard as a single mother and have always made smart decisions for myself and my family, and that will continue.”
The statement added Litner, who works as a wealth management advisor, “refused to sign a prenuptial agreement, effectively stalling their engagement mere days before the wedding.”
I would imagine that Litner has his own money from his finance career, and it sounds like he’s used to pulling down mid-to-high six figures a year. My point being, a prenup would have protected him and his assets as well and I do think it’s shady AF that he seemingly refused to sign a prenup. Kelly also told Us Weekly that she thought the refusal was “the ultimate red flag,” and I kind of agree with her?
Also, I have to say something really political here, so if you’re not in the mood, just skip this but given the hard-right evangelical political turn in many states and within the Supreme Court, women need to start being very VERY f–king careful about who they become legally attached to. If this year’s elections take a bad turn, no-fault divorces are on the chopping block in a big way. Birth control access is on the chopping block, nevermind abortion access. I’m just saying… ladies, if you want to shack up with a man, go ahead. But don’t combine finances, don’t marry without a prenup, don’t leave yourself unprotected, don’t let that man baby-trap you or marriage-trap you.
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
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- Celebrities Attend The Hamptons Classic Featuring: Scott Litner and Kelly Bensimon Where: Hamptons, New York, United States When: 02 Jan 2018 Credit: Iris Zimmerman/INSTARimages
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- Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy Red Carpet held at GH on the Park Featuring: Kelly Bensimon Where: New York, New York, United States When: 12 Dec 2023 Credit: Udo Salters/startraksphoto.com
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- Kelly Bensimon wearing Messika Paris Diamond Jewelry during the Messika Paris Private Cocktail Reception and Shopping event with Kelly Bensimon, held at Messika Store at 20 Hudson Yards, in New York City Featuring: Kelly Bensimon Where: New York, New York, United States When: 12 Jun 2024 Credit: Jennifer Graylock/INSTARimages
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- Kelly Bensimon wearing Messika Paris Diamond Jewelry during the Messika Paris Private Cocktail Reception and Shopping event with Kelly Bensimon, held at Messika Store at 20 Hudson Yards, in New York City Featuring: Kelly Bensimon Where: New York, New York, United States When: 12 Jun 2024 Credit: Jennifer Graylock/INSTARimages
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- Kelly Bensimon wearing Messika Paris Diamond Jewelry during the Messika Paris Private Cocktail Reception and Shopping event with Kelly Bensimon, held at Messika Store at 20 Hudson Yards, in New York City Featuring: Kelly Bensimon, Scott Litner Where: New York, New York, United States When: 12 Jun 2024 Credit: Jennifer Graylock/INSTARimages
It is sad that we are all facing an erosion of our rights to autonomy. I can’t blame her for looking to keep herself safe. We all need to.
Good for her. She was right to call of the wedding if he refused to sign.
Team Kelly. I’m sure it was a difficult decision, but I think she made the right one.
I’m gonna go even a step further and say this was a brave decision that many women in her position would not make. I cannot imagine how hard it was for her to reverse course so suddenly but I do think she’s a smart cookie for doing so.
100% agree Kitten. So many women would not do it, and that isn’t me judging, but it SO close to the wedding date. She had to decide really fast, and presumably she is still in love with him.
Good point.
I think so too 😍 a lot of women think that every man that works in finance is a billionaire 😎
I worked on Wall St for over a decade. There are all types of finance careers but the men that ID themselves as finance guys/traders/investors were 90 % bad news – huge gamblers, partiers, misogynist. They can make tons of money but most spend it all. The ones that didn’t and owned houses in all the posh places wanted trad wives. I had many friends who gave up AMAZING careers and lives to marry because the men wanted stay-at-home wives who took golf/tennis lesson all day. This was in the aughts. And they all turned out like you think they would. Good for Bensimon
Many so-called finance guys are not as rich as they claim to be. Wealth management in the UK pays its managers around £70K plus bonuses. I reckon her lawyers drafted the pre-nup and he kept stalling until he point-blank refused. Wise woman!
About no-fault divorce: I just read (I think it was a quote from from The Guardian) that back when a lot of states started permitting no-fault divorce domestic violence and women’s suicide rates both dropped sharply.
Yes I read that too! It was the Guardian and to think the States could go back to that is horrifying. Increasingly I am convinced that women could learn from our sisters in South Korea who are boycotting men until their own rights are equal. I’m starting to think it’s the only way to bring about change, sadly.
The SK women boycotting men is my Roman Empire. I think about it A LOT
Vol also wrote an article about conservatives attacking no fault divorce. They want women to remain chained to their abusers because no fault divorce “hurts men.”
https://www.vox.com/today-explained-newsletter/354635/divorce-no-fault-states-marriage-republicans
And Clarence Thomas — alone among the members of the Supreme Court — believes that abusers should be able to keep their guns. This says a lot about whose rights and safety he wants to protect.
Good for her. smart move. This is good to hear this stuff publicly b/c it helps woman see it as a norm. Protect ourselves, be finacially savy.I saw her once shopping in Soho, NYC, JCREW store. She looked more average looking in person but of course so tan!
I read that, too. Makes sense.
This is such a strong move on her part. She is so smart to call the wedding off
If he is a decent wealth management advisor, I assume he would suggest to any client of his worth what she is, that they get a prenup to protect their assets.
Which makes his refusal extra sus.
Exactly, he of all people should be about parties managing their assets to benefit themselves. To be saying ‘nah, forget that, TRUST ME’ to his future wife screams watch out and make sure you protect your assets.
It’s a smart move. That’s all.
It’s a gift to find this out BEFORE the wedding. Good for her for being public about it!
If he’s a financier, he was probably trying to convince her that he should manage her money for her. *Pats her on the head* Pretty lady can’t be expected to manage her own money.
One thing I’ve learned from reading stories about old Hollywood: never let your husband be your manager. Check out the lives of Doris Day, Rita Hayworth, and Debbie Reynolds to see where I’m coming from. Even if you’re not in a profession where your husband could potentially be your manager, it’s best to stay involved in financial decisions and to not just hand your money over to someone and not monitor it.
Didn’t Kelly Clarkson also find out her husband was stealing from her? It is unfortunately nothing new.
Kathy Griffith too.
Mary J Blidge, Mary Wilson of The Supremes, Wendy Williams and Scary Spice ex husbands managed their careers. Didn’t end well.
Same for Bethany Frankel her ex was slapping his names on her assets. Since she trusted him. And was signing documents without having a lawyer read them first and give her the green light.
And once you start mingling money and assets in joint accounts. It’s now ‘their’ money that ‘she’ earned. A finance person knows this, and I feel this was his plan. To start merging assets he could claim in a divorce he had nothing to do with.
Good point.
She was right.
Be careful with the cohabitating also. Common law marriage is still recognized in a few states and palimony is still allowed in some states.
Mediator in my divorce sat me down and made sure I understood common law marriage and any cohabitation rights that might take me down.
Her attitude was she had gotten me out of one bad situation, she didn’t want me to blither into another.
She was AWESOME.
I didn’t skip the political editorial. Your advice is very sound and timely. We women need to go into self-protect mode. It’s not like we were ever really protected, but we’re going backwards and it’s gonna get worse if November is a 💩 show.
Any dude who thinks he’s going to marry a 50-something millionaire with kids without a prenup is delusional. Leave it to faith?? C’mon, man.
Agreed, this dude is the type that’s still arguing that women are idiots for choosing the bear.
Sadly yes.
Yeah, I am so glad she saw the red flag and didn’t ignore it for her kids’ future sake too.
And a finance bro who called himself a “wealth management advisor”, at that. Not some hippy dippy poet type who think that True Love conquers all, but someone who has had PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE dealing with the ramifications of divorces with no pre-nups.
Nope, nope, nope, good for her for making the call and risking all the embarrassment about a cancelled marriage. He probably figured she would have caved instead of cancelling the wedding, so good for her for not giving into that.
Having gone through a divorce and supported so many of my friends as their marriages crumbled and then were pretty much harassed by their exes via the legal system, I think this is sound advice to all women regardless of the existence of no fault divorce. It wasn’t until I went through a divorce that I fully appreciated that a marriage is a business contract involving assets, even when it starts out with love. I think women are sold a Disney bill of goods about happily ever after and largely unaware of the financial ramifications of a divorce.
Agreed. I went through a divorce too, after a 24 year marriage. I remember feeling smug as a wife and mother for years that divorce would never happen to me. Ha! At our first meeting my lawyer said, “A divorce is a lawsuit to dissolve the marriage contract.” Talk about throwing cold water on the romance of it! But she was right. The only legal contract I have now is my living trust, which I set up after my divorce was final.
About to start the process myself and am terrified.
My soon to be ex cheated in a spectacular manner and hence the marriage is over. But he clearly feels like everything happening is some unwarranted punishment. For example, crying about the cats. Well dude, I feed, clean up after and take them to the vet, you will take my cats over my dead body. Other than that, everything is going to be incredibly “fair” in that we will evenly split everything. But he doesn’t want to be losing anything. So he finds it all very unfair. Wait until we get in front of a mediator and they bring up alimony, his head might pop. (I find my life being blown up at 50 to be unfair myself but it is what it is)
Anyway, I had a bit of an epiphany recently. I realized that even if he had gotten out of the marriage in an ethical way (ie. decided that he no longer wanted to be with me and left BEFORE securing a new partner vs lying to me and acting like everything was fine until he was SURE he wanted the affair partner more than me) or heck, even if we both just woke up one morning and were completely in agreement that we wanted a divorce, with no anger/angst on either side, the split of assets would still be happening and still be unpleasant. Because yes, marriage is a legal contract, first and foremost.
He seems to see it as “I don’t think it is fair that I have to pay you support when I no longer want to be with you romantically and want to move on with this new woman, the heart wants what it wants”. But actually, 2 decades ago when we got married, this was the agreement. As prevalent as divorce is, I don’t know that everyone REALLY grasps that when they are planning their first wedding. (Obviously, many DO. But we were young and we didn’t have any assets, I don’t think either of us were thinking “yeah and if this doesn’t work out, there will be serious financial consequences)
I know you said it’s an even split and that’s mature AF of you but based on what you say here, I can’t help but wish you were taking all of his money because CRIMINY, what an asshole.
Glad to hear that the cats are going with their primary caretaker instead of that old fool and his newly promoted sidepiece.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Having been through the process, I encourage you to do what’s right and fair instead of what’s kind (personally I did a little too much of what was kind and now regret it) anytime you come to a decision. You’re better off without him in the long run, obviously, though it is terrifying to have your life upended. Wishing you strength to get through this process – and all the fun of single life in middle age (It really is fun!) afterwards.
Kitten and Moxie,
THANK YOU. First meeting with mediator in the next few weeks and boy am I nervous. On the one hand, it’s been VERY drawn out. It’s time. But as I understand it, things move quick and I am so nervous about making fast decisions that will seriously impact my future.
Kitten- If taking every dime was an option, I still probably wouldn’t but it’s not all about maturity. In MA, taking all the money isn’t really a thing. Judges don’t care about infidelity in most states. I am also afraid of him. And need to co-parent. I won’t take less than my share, and will take alimony (if it applies, research online is inconclusive) That alone is going to piss him off.
Moxie- So many people have said similar. I’ve been advised to leave emotions at the door and consider that I need to walk away as financially stable as possible for me and my kids.
She was right to want one but if Kelly only produced the pre-nup a few days before the wedding, that’s not the way it should work (and can be grounds for setting aside the agreement).
This should all have been sorted months ago. She doesn’t mention him stalling so it does seem to be on her. I wouldn’t sign a pre-nup suddenly produced days before the wedding. If nothing else, I would want time for my lawyers to look at it so I don’t end up like Kevin Costner’s second wife,
Actually the article mentions about stalling, but I am also surprised a finance bro didn’t think about prenup so close to the wedding. If there was disagreement about some clauses, I assume they would just delay it until their lawyers worked on it. Probably he just said no.
If he was stalling, even shadier and makes me think he’s not as wealthy as he’s maybe trying to front like he is – like she has way more money than him and he didn’t want to sign it in order to enrich himself in the divorce.
@Digital Unicorn, I think %100 it is shady. What kind of sh*tty finance bro wouldn’t want her wife to sign a prenup? Doesn’t he have assets, investments to protect? A prenup is beneficial for both sides, they aren’t some 20 years old young adults, who are gonna build their lives together. They have already their own money. It is only logical to protect it.
@DigitalUnicorn – yes, it sounds to me that it’s not the prenup so much as it is what the haggle over the prenup uncovered. Just because he worked at 3 investment banks doesn’t mean he’s not dead broke. Or there may be a slew of debts or other financial obligations she didn’t know about.
Excactly! Just because he’s a finance bro doesn’t mean anything. These people can lose all their money very quickly and you can bet he would hide this from his wealthy girlfriend
@Digital Unicorn ITA. These Real Housewife people seem to all either be grifters or to attract grifters. How many storylines on their shows have we seen of a husband or boyfriend turning out to be scamming.
Who knows what happened. Maybe he promised to sign it and didn’t because he thought she would not cancel the wedding if he just waited long enough. Maybe he lied and said he signed but didn’t gave her the documents back. She was probably very busy planning and he speculated that she would forget about it. People can be very manipulative.
Yeah, there’s something strange about this. I love all the points that are coming up about prenups and protecting yourself, but this is a dramatic article. He may still be a complete turkey, but this feels like a hard PR move.
Normally, you just release a message saying after much thought we decided that we love each other very much but we are not going to get married at this time or something like that.
Maybe she was conditioned to always protect a man’s reputation, and she finally got fed up with it.
She wouldn’t be the only one.
I don’t think that was the case at all. Also, you can’t just spring a pre-nup on the day of or close to marriage. That would null and void it. Since you can’t sign legal documents under duress.
I can’t remember who, but there was an athlete that called off the wedding the day of. Since his fiancé kept stalling about signing the prenup for months.
Then on the day of she went into hysterics and said OK I will sign it. But he had the knowledge to know that would void it. So, he broke it off. It was the brave and right thing to do.
I was surprised when I found out he worked in finance as I do not know one person in finance especially on the older side who would marry without a prenup in place to protect both parties. So his refusal is very suspect and I also was wondering why it wasn’t a discussion earlier before planning a wedding? Anyway good for her for not only recognizing the red flag but for making the hard decision to end the relationship. Better to be alone than have a husband possibly embezzled you out of your fortune.
Matilda, that really stood out (and stinks to high heaven!) that he works in finance refused the prenup. I’ve never heard of either of these people, but kudos to her for keeping her boundaries in place! As so many people have commented, this was a huge red flag and it’s nice to see someone who heeded it and is using her situation to warn others.
Yeah, this was really weird on his part.
It was just a “we couldn’t agree on specific terms” thing, it was a “no”
She was right to step back on the whole relationship, because any partner who doesn’t want you (and themselves) to be financially secure before starting your lives together is not a partner at all and isn’t someone you want to hitch your wagon to.
When I first opened up the article I took it to mean he refused to sign a prenup that had stipulations about how much Kelly would be owed if the marriage were to go south. Ie money for cheating or number of years married. That’s the only way I can see a finance bro refusing to sign a prenup.
100% to your last paragraph Kaiser!! I have been giving that exact speech to my daughter for the past several years (she’s almost 21). I also hope my mistakes (all of which were in your paragraph lol!) are a lesson to her. Excellent message for not just our daughters, but also our sons!
Good for her! Smart move since circumstances can change over time.
It shouldn’t be political that woman have autonomy over their own lives, but sadly, it is. Always, always, always have money of your own.
Smart woman and good move. The dude is shady. Also, be aware that the right wing are also becoming heavily involved in elder care and rehabilitation programs (on top of destroying public education) to exploit and indoctrinate the most vulnerable for financial gain.
Nonsence. The only issue here is that she decided to publicly air their laundry in a press release. I am certain he is relieved he is not stuck with this publicity hound!
She probably wanted to prevent any gossip, speculation about why her wedding got cancelled. She isn’t some anonymous person, people will of course talk about what happened. Why is it bad to tell the truth? He knew she was a reality show star, who are paid to publicize their lives.
It’s spelled “nonsense”. She’s not airing dirty laundry, she’s a celebrity and wants to pre-emptively set the record straight about why she cancelled the wedding. I might add it helps other women heading into marriage to see how important it is to have a prenup because not all marriages last and finances should be airtight before walking down the aisle.
👍🏼😁
My now ex-SIL bought a house that is in her name only. Before she married my brother. A bum, who didn’t work for 13 out of the 15 years they were married. She doesn’t have a high paying job and that was her only big asset. But they were in CA and it’s a 50/50 state. So she had to literally take a loan and buy him out of her house or pay alimony. Thankfully, my dum dum brother took a smaller lump sum up front. Then string her along with monthly alimony. But it’s an expensive lesson she learned. She wished they got a prenup that would have kept her house out of marital assets.
Kelly 100% did the right thing. There is nothing wrong with being married and keeping your assets separate. This isn’t a case of being SAHM or SAHD for twenty years. And you have lost your skillset to earn a livable earning.
It sounds like to me he had ulterior motives for being married, and those motives where her millions. That’s not love that’s transactional.
💯 Team Kelly. Smart move darling. He stretched that timing because he thought you’d go through with it for Love. A financier, he knows what he’s doing too. Protect yourself and what’s yours.
Good for her. I’m getting married in the fall and I only agreed to get married if he agreed to a prenup (a legal marriage wasn’t important to me but it was to him). It’s a second marriage for both of us but I’m the only one with kids from a prior marriage. I earn a lot more than he does, I have significantly more assets than he does, and my only debt is my mortgage, while he has student and private loans and a car note. I hope our marriage lasts but I know things can go south and I want my assets protected so they fund my retirement and eventually go to my children. If my fiance refused to sign a prenup that would be a massive red flag.
I wouldn’t go through with it if I were you, marias.
Too many red flags and a pre nup is not a guarantee, it can be contested.
That he is so eager to marry you despite you both having been married before is also a huge red flag, especially when it is a net loss for you. He also has debt …you have children…..I mean, it speaks for itself. Protect your childrens inheritance.
Also ask yourself why is a legal marriage so important to him? Is he religious? Are you two planning on having children toghether? I just see 🚩everywhere, sorry.
I would love to high five Kelly for this. She presented a pre-nup (to a finance bro who should have seen this coming or brought it up himself), he said no, she said bye, and then made it perfectly clear why she called off the wedding. That’s a boss ass bitch move in my opinion because it’s hard to leave a relationship. When you love someone but you know things are not right or your instincts are telling you to get out, it’s f*cking hard. She has my respect for letting her brain lead her in this situation instead of her heart.
I agree with her and I agree with the writer of this post.
F*ck that guy.
My tribal ancestors taught me how to live in a white man’s world, and Ima rule follower in order to survive.
White men are both my enemy, and my weakness.
I never thought the White Christian Right would bring me to my knees, yet here we all are.
As an only child, I stand to inherit upon my parent’s deaths (a monthly TF that I can retire on as well as house, cars etc). I am still unmarried at 43 because I have only found one man thus far willing to sign a prenup ( he also had a TF)and he sadly became an alcoholic and we had to end things. Most men I have dated were far too eager about my inheritance or ambition shy or even work shy and I had to let them go. I am thinking I need to be with someone with money now because there are far too many grifters amongst us ATM feeling they deserve the money because they are a man etc.
Andrea, you don’t have to get married. You can have a wedding without getting married.
It doesn’t have to be made legal. Call it a spiritual wedding or whatever but my point is…you can have your cake and eat it too.
But yes, definitely only date someone you are equally yoked with. It always works better this way.
I’ve always wondered if this isn’t what happened with Justin Thorough and Jennifer Anniston and their sham wedding. Like he refused to sign at the last minute after saying he would all along and then thought he had her backed into a corner because of the impending wedding party event. But she was like fine we’ll just have a pretend wedding. It seemed liked they were pretty much done within a a few months of their “wedding” and he gives total grifter vibes.
Queen move.
Tbh, I would be leery of marrying anyone who asked me to sign a prenup. It would definitely take the wind out of the sails.
And if I understand correctly, even without a prenup, he wouldn’t be able to touch whatever assets she had before the marriage.
Why get married if you’re that worried about keeping your money? They can continue to be together without making it legal.
That’s like saying telling your partner to wear a condom during sex takes the romance out of it. It’s about protection, not “two lurve.” Being in love, and loving, and trusting your partner today has nothing to do with who you or they are tomorrow, next week, year, decade. Do you think that people who were cheated on for instance went into the marriage thinking they would be cheated on? Don’t ever be one of those “It can’t happen to me,” people because no one is that special, or immune. No one.
@poppedbubble
“Don’t ever be one of those “It can’t happen to me,” people because no one is that special, or immune. No one.”
I didn’t say it couldn’t happen. But marriage is about merging.
If this was a famous and wealthy man who asked his non-famous female fiancée to sign a prenup, would we see him the same way?
This guy very well may be sketchy. I don’t know how long they’ve been together, but … wouldn’t she have some idea of the sketch by now?
“Do you think that people who were cheated on for instance went into the marriage thinking they would be cheated on? ”
I don’t know about marriage, but I had a boyfriend who I discovered was running around. And, no, I wasn’t all that surprised.
@Marcia – “But marriage is about merging.” Say what now? That is not the definition of marriage. That’s why there are so many different ways of being married. People get married and still live in their own spaces, for instance. There is no one way to be married. If one doesn’t agree, then don’t get married. Dude wouldn’t sign the pre-nup so she didn’t get married. Worked out how it should.
“If this was a famous and wealthy man who asked his non-famous female fiancée to sign a prenup, would we see him the same way?”
Me personally? Yep. What if it’s a famous and wealthy woman marrying a non famous man. Would you see it the same way?
“I don’t know about marriage, but I had a boyfriend who I discovered was running around. And, no, I wasn’t all that surprised.” Well then lucky you, but if you look at research most folks are surprised.
@poppedbubble
“Say what now? That is not the definition of marriage. ”
For some people it is. It’s about merging lives, which includes finances.
“People get married and still live in their own spaces, for instance.”
Sure. But for me, personally, I’d ask: why get married under those conditions? Just keep your place; I’ll keep mine and we’ll be together but not mix finances.
“Dude wouldn’t sign the pre-nup so she didn’t get married. Worked out how it should.”
Yeah, he had a different idea of marriage than she did.
“Me personally? Yep. What if it’s a famous and wealthy woman marrying a non famous man. Would you see it the same way?”
It’s the same, but the attitude on here about Kevin Costner and the one he had with the wife he just divorced was different than the attitude I’m seeing about Kelly Bensimon.
“Well then lucky you, but if you look at research most folks are surprised.”
People show you who they are. Or at least giving you inklings. I just had a long-term, close friend do something kind of screwy that I did not see coming. But when I really think about some of the things she’s told me over the years, I should have had some idea.
@ Poppedbubble–SPOT. F*CKING.ON. to everything you said here. The condom analogy is perfect, as is the rest of your comments.
@ Marcia-People get married for ALL kinds of practical reasons beyond mere romance. I’ve been with my now-husband for almost 8 years, engaged for 3 and recently married. We have our finances separate. We could have effectively stayed unmarried forever but we want the freaking tax break and I want to be on his amazing insurance plan. If marriage wasn’t an important-yet-practical reality of our society then people wouldn’t have fought for the right to get married.
Kitten,
“People get married for ALL kinds of practical reasons beyond mere romance. I’ve been with my now-husband for almost 8 years, engaged for 3 and recently married. We have our finances separate. We could have effectively stayed unmarried forever but we want the freaking tax break and I want to be on his amazing insurance plan. If marriage wasn’t an important-yet-practical reality of our society then people wouldn’t have fought for the right to get married.”
I mean, yeah. It’s just the way she described it, like they were all ready to have this great life together. It sounded like fairy tale-ish.
I’m no big proponent of marriage. But if I was going to do it, I’d want the fairy tale. But that’s me. 🙂
If I had the kind of assets Kelly has I would definitely want a prenup signed. The guy strikes me as a total weasel and would probably stop at nothing to grab some easy money if and when the marriage goes south.
You don’t understand correctly. Read up on commingling assets and community property — and how that can change by state. It’s funny that you would be leery of marrying anyone who asked you to sign a prenup. I would be leery of anyone— particularly someone with a background in finance or law — who wouldn’t sign one.
I’d also be concerned about anyone who was a parent who felt zero need to legally address assets involving their child(ren) prior to entangling their financial stability with a new partner.
It’s funny how many people romanticize married— without even understanding the legal implications of what they’re agreeing to. Prenuptial agreements are a great way to clarify what are often unspoken expectations— while making sure that you and your partner really are actually on the same page.
@Marcia
My TF is my retirement and I haven’t inherited yet because my parents are still living. I could lose my retirement and have to work the rest of my life because of a no prenup divorce. At 43, I wouldn’t want to risk it.
“Litner is a finance bro who has worked for Bank of America, Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns.”
^^ This guy’s CV seems to be very interesting because he appears to be at the end of his career and to have dropped down a corporate title since the mid-point of his career, which does happen. He has also pivoted to entertainment so maybe he was recruited for the role of ‘playing her husband’ and didn’t think the pay off at the end was worth it.
That said after 25 years in the industry he would easily be worth 2M+ unless there was a divorce or two. He has also been laid off once or twice from some pretty big companies, which would have considerably added to his wealth.
It looks like he was in it for the money sadly. She made the right call.
Kaiser, say it louder for the people in the back.
He’s scum!!! Or maybe he didn’t want to sign a prenup she had drafted that gave her his assets?
There is always room for attorneys for both parties to negotiate terms. Better to do while you are still in love than during a divorce! Sounds like he wasn’t going to agree to one on any terms— total red flag!
Good fir her! I dated a guy in his line if business. They are gamblers some of them. They make money on commission. Sometimes the commission could be over 2 million and it is spent within a year. I got out of this relationship. The day he asked me to borrow money to make a deal. Red flag!
Maybe he’s not as rich as he says he is. She did the right thing.
As a married woman GOOD FOR HER. She did the right thing.
Never heard of this chick and I normally don’t think much of those RH types but I suddenly have some respect for her. She sets a good example here.
I paid for a family member’s prenup as a shower present. If anybody was shocked by it then they had the good sense to say nothing.
If there was a “like” button, I would have hit it so fast for this! I absolutely love this. People need to stop seeing a prenup as just another one of the legal steps you take when you get married. Like getting the marriage license.
Just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to all the women who supported this wise behavior. I’m 76 years old (next week)! and this has really restored some of my faith in women — seeing so many MAGA and extremist women lately in the news ready to ride and die for the position of trad wife or PA to some crazy White male person; this was a much-needed counter. Awesome, ladies: awesome.
As a mother, I’d never remarry without a prenup and a rock solid will protecting my kids’ inheritance. My guess is that this seemingly wealthy guy is up to his ears in debt or he’d be all in on an agreement to protect BOTH sets of premarital assets.
Amen Kaiser
“don’t combine finances, don’t marry without a prenup, don’t leave yourself unprotected, don’t let that man baby-trap you or marriage-trap you.”
Ditto. Many moons ago, when I was in my twenties, an elderly relative gave me the best advice: never, ever allow yourself be under the control of a man (or someone else). This includes financial resources or risks (like a divorce).
He said that, especially as a woman, I needed to ensure that I was always financially independent so that I was free to walk away from a bad situation. I thought then it was great advice and still believe it to be so.
I will also add that relative advised me to: never loan or risk more money than you are outright willing to lose.
No pre-nup is a huge risk of her assets.
I was able to file a for fault divorce and named the third-party in my marriage. Just being able to do this saved me years of therapy. It’s odd but being able to file for fault really does help you move on.