You can get ‘puppy blues’ when raising a puppy, similar to raising a baby


Last week we covered Brisket’s Dad (pka Glen Powell) describing the epiphany that led him to adopting Brisket: “I just had the desire to be a father.” Y’all had strong and varying opinions in the comments about whether it was appropriate to use the parent comparison for one’s pet. All points of view are valid! I think the key to remember is that pet relationships are unique to everyone and to respect ones that differ from our own. That preamble aside, researchers from the University of Helsinki are throwing a bone (sorry, not sorry) to those like Brisket’s Dad who feel that their pups are their babies. The study showed that human parents of puppies can get “puppy blues,” akin to “baby blues” when raising a baby. The primary symptoms are anxiety, frustration, and weariness. Unfortunately, there were no results to explain why I’m still carrying the litter weight.

If you’re one of those people who refers to your dogs as your “babies,” a new study is going to make you feel pretty validated. According to researchers at the University of Helsinki, for some new dog owners, the experience of raising a puppy is comparable to the postpartum “baby blues” many human parents experience with their newborns.

The puppy stage gives rise to a variety of worries, mood swings, irritability, and sometimes, difficulty bonding with the dog that feels at odds with what you’re “supposed” to feel raising something so cute.

“Both ‘pet parents’ and human parents describe anxiety and depression-like symptoms triggered by the life change of a new family member, though it typically diminishes over time,” said Aada Ståhl, a psychologist and doctoral student at the University of Helsinki and one of the lead authors of the study.

Puppy blues symptoms play out in three distinct ways, Ståhl told HuffPost, though usually, people experience multiple symptoms at once:

Anxiety: The new puppy owner might seriously doubt their ability to raise the dog or worry about the puppy’s well-being and development. (For instance, maybe they fear creating a yappy, unhousebroken puppy).

Frustration: The challenges and unexpected difficulties of puppy care — poor behavior, an inability to establish an emotional bond — are common stressors, too. Some puppy owners may feel so overwhelmed by their new responsibilities, they may even regret their decision to get a dog or wonder if they should give the puppy up.

Weariness: Fatigue, difficulty sleeping (even if the puppy is sleeping fine), and anxiety about the time and attention the puppy needs are all common among new pet owners.
Ståhl’s interest in this subject began a few years ago when she came across discussions from beleaguered pet parents on dog forums.

“Puppy owners were sharing their struggles with anxiety and frustration and difficulties in forming an attachment to the puppy during this period, and there were a lot of ‘baby blues’ comparisons,” Ståhl said. “As a psychologist, this caught my attention, prompting me to search for existing research, which was lacking at that time.”

The findings of Ståhl’s study are no surprise to Brett Endes, a professional dog trainer and canine behavior consultant in Los Angeles. Many new dog owners are unprepared for the amount of work that goes into raising and training a puppy, he told HuffPost.

“Training, socialization, and establishing a routine are crucial, yet they can be daunting tasks for new owners,” Endes said. “Additionally, some people adopt puppies to fulfill emotional needs, expecting them to provide immediate comfort and companionship.”

In the rush and excitement of getting a new puppy, people tend to underestimate the significant lifestyle adjustments and the constant attention puppies demand.

The reality is, puppies require guidance, patience, and training to develop into well-behaved dogs. This mismatch of expectations and actual experience can lead to disappointment and contribute to the “puppy blues,” Endes said.

[From HuffPost]

I have a confession to make: I’ve never been through the rigors of raising a dog from puppyhood. When I adopted My Girl from a rescue fair, the vet looked at her teeth and estimated that she was about 18 months old. Still young, but not a newborn — which I think worked out best, because whenever I imagine how adorable a teeny tiny My Girl must have looked like, I run the risk of spontaneous combustion. But even without having seen My Girl through her first year-and-a-half of life, I can still vouch for having experienced anxiety, frustration, and weariness in our 11 years of being family. That’s what love does to you! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. (Even considering that unlike a human baby, puppies basically grow up to be permanent toddlers.)

A note from My Girl: Not that anyone asked, but I’ll have you all know that I feel all those feeling things too a million times a day! There’s the anxiety that I’ll never have another meal. And then the frustration that I haven’t been given another meal. And of course the constant weariness of having to remind Mama to frickin’ give me another meal! And, for the record, the only Brisket I’m interested in is the one that has been doused in gravy and roasted in the oven for a few hours… I’m hungry.

Photos credit: Yogendra Singh on Unsplash, Garrett Karoski, Polina Chistyakova, Valeria Boltneva, Pixabay and Thirdman on Pexels

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10 Responses to “You can get ‘puppy blues’ when raising a puppy, similar to raising a baby”

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  1. Jais says:

    My family got a puppy three weeks ago and I can confirm all of this😂

  2. Mil says:

    I raised puppies and adult doggos. They are forever my babies. I treat them as puppies either way.

  3. Backyard Mogul says:

    Years ago I got my first puppy as a single gal. I went to visit a friend a few weeks later who had a newborn… she said “you look like me!” Meaning tired and stressed. I protested that a puppy was not like a baby and she insisted that my feelings were as real as hers. At a time where other friends weren’t understanding of my time/ obsession with my puppy, she made me feel so seen!

  4. Geegee says:

    I am there right now. She is 8 months old and in everything. I am anxious if she is too quiet. She destroys things. I forgot how hard puppies are. It just makes me miss my old dog more.

    • Walden says:

      Same. We got a rescue puppy in May soon after losing our beloved dog. I knew the puppy wouldn’t be like her or replace her, but my grief is magnified when I’m frustrated with the puppy and just missing our girl.

      We adopted our other two dogs after the puppy phase, so this is my first time raising a puppy and it is HARD. So much anxiety and tears shed for this pup I don’t feel totally bonded to yet. I know we’ll get there, but it’s been a lot. I also feel crazy for being so stressed about a puppy with the state of our country and the world right now.

  5. Giddy says:

    I lost my mind and adopted two puppies two a week ago. ( they are the result of a Cavalier King Charles and a friendly neighborhood beagle) I reasoned that they would be such good company for each other, and also, they were so cute that I couldn’t leave one behind. Now I’m dealing with my little gruesome twosome. They are so mischievous and I am so tired. But in those moments when they aren’t chewing on something I treasure, they are darling.

    • theotherviv says:

      Omg, awesome combination: you will be forever marveling at how cute they are and forever hiding any food in the house. Those beagle genes are like a snack radar and the cuteness of the Cavalier will make it so hard to discipline them. You can do it!

  6. harpervalleypta says:

    I’m middle aged and childless for the sames reasons why I didn’t want a baby or a puppy: they are a lot of work! I foster beagles and I fostered a couple of puppies, until I said, “No more puppies!” Now I foster the elderly ones with medical issues. I’d much rather give pills than chase around a puppy.

    I respect that human babies are far more work/stress/reward than dog babies, but it’s a matter of degree, not of kind. Puppies are a good “starter” baby because if you can’t handle being obsessed with the peeing/pooping habits of a puppy, including getting up every couple hours to let your puppy out, you’re going to have a VERY HARD TIME as a parent.

    With both, there’s a reality with the cuteness, and you need to be aware of the reality so you truly know what you’re getting into.

    • cq says:

      We tried fostering beagles and were complete failures at it. We kept both dogs. Beagles are so much fun.

  7. Jenn says:

    I think I commented about it at the time, but I went through pretty intense anxiety/depression with our puppy, secretly worried that I would never ‘love’ the dog (among other things). I was so relieved when I googled and found the term “puppy blues”; just knowing it’s an acknowledged ‘thing’ helped me weather it ok. Now the puppy is a dog and I am normal again