It just keeps getting better for Scientology. Last week a ton of videos came out of Tom Cruise spouting their in-terminology and laughing maniacally. The “church” tried to yank the videos off YouTube and wherever else they were hosted and every time they’d get rid of one, several others would pop up around the web. Fellow gossip site Gawker told the Scientology lawyers to go screw themselves and decided to personally host the videos despite a copyright claim, stating they were newsworthy and couldn’t be censored. Now The Sun has an unintentially humorous indoctrination video from the cult from over 10 years ago. It features John Travolta, Mimi Rogers, and Kirstie Alley proselytizing.

At the beginning the guy says: “If you leave this room after seeing this film and walk out and never mention Scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. It would be stupid, but you can do it. You can also dive off a bridge or blow your brains out. That is your choice.” LOL!!

Here’s a transcript of the rest of the video that I typed up:

If you leave this room after seeing this film and walk out and never mention Scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. It would be stupid, but you can do it. You can also dive off a bridge or blow your brains out. That is your choice.

But if you don’t walk out that way, if you continue with Scientology, we will be very happy with you, and you will be very happy with you.

– switch to Scientology store –
Lady in Scientology store: So I would recommend that you get this package to start.

Guy: Shouldn’t they also get a copy of Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health?

Lady: Of course, then they’ll see the adventure of it, and they’re at liberty to buy any of these books, they’ll watch all of them sooner or later anyway.

– switch to office with two guys in suits –

Guy in office setting: Now these graphs are done before and after a person has received 12 and a half hours of auditing or what we call an intensive. These are personality traits, these are what they were before the person received auditing and these show how they were improved. Also the person’s IQ or intelligence increased, and he became 19 points smarter.

Another guy: Does that mean that psychology and Scientology are similar?

Original graph guy: oh no, but it shows you what happens when you address the spirit, not the brain. Even the theory of evolution has never proven that something else isn’t making it all happen. Psychology and psychiatry are proven failures. Stone age.

– Public office –
The success through communication course is the most popular. One learns how to handle others with communication alone. And there are sometimes special courses that can assist one to handle specific areas or problems in his life.

– back to original guy from the beginning –
You may well ask the question, “What are the advantages of Dianetics and Scientology for me?” So, let’s ask some people.

Mimi Rogers? Anne Archer (just labeled as “Actress” in video): Scientology did make me freer to express myself, but what it really did for me, was save my life, and made me feel for the first time the best at what I naturally am.

Kirstie Alley (just labeled “Actress”): To tell you the honest to God truth without Scientology I would be dead. So, I can personally highly recommend it.

John Travolta (just labeled “Actor”): Well basically, there’s no part of my life that Scientology hasn’t helped.

Another guy (Michael Roberts, not labeled): But whatever you do, remember that you’re always welcome in Scientology.

[Transcript of the video available on The Sun website and shown below]

Here’s the video. Is the last guy Isaac Hayes? I can’t really tell because he’s younger and I’ve never seen him talking on tape. Please let me know if you can help identify all the brainwashed celebrities at the end.

Update: The guy at the end is an actor named Michael Roberts, and I incorrectly identified Anne Archer as Mimi Rogers. Thanks to Critter, Geronimo and Poof for the help.