Vice President Kamala Harris married Doug Emhoff in 2014 after basically a one-year courtship. Sparks flew right away between Kamala and Doug, and he had been divorced from his first wife since 2008. Doug and his ex-wife Kerstin Emhoff (she kept his name) already had a good relationship and were coparenting successfully. When Doug married Kamala, Kerstin embraced her immediately and became one of Kamala’s biggest supporters. Kamala became a stepmother to Doug and Kerstin’s two kids, who were teenagers at the time, and there are still good vibes all around this blended family. Kerstin even attended the inauguration in 2021, as did Cole and Ella Emhoff.
Well, now that Kamala Harris is the Democratic presidential candidate, there’s a lot of talk in Republican circles about how “Kamala isn’t a mother” and “she’s never given birth.” No American president has given birth, why does that matter? And the whole “stepmothers are not mothers” thing is pretty bold, given the sheer number of blended families in America. Well, Kerstin Emhoff decided to chime in.
The ex-wife of second gentleman Doug Emhoff on Wednesday defended Vice President Kamala Harris against sexist criticisms about her lack of biological children, calling them “baseless” and expressing her gratitude for the presumptive Democratic nominee.
“These are baseless attacks. For over 10 years, since Cole and Ella were teenagers, Kamala has been a co-parent with Doug and I,” Kerstin Emhoff said in a statement first provided to CNN. “She is loving, nurturing, fiercely protective, and always present. I love our blended family and am grateful to have her in it.”
Emhoff’s statement follows resurfaced video of Republican vice presidential nominee Sen. JD Vance criticizing several public figures, including Harris, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg as “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives.”
“It’s just a basic fact — you look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC — the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children,” Vance told Tucker Carlson in a July 2021 interview.
I know everyone has different family situations and I’m not judging if this isn’t your particular situation with your partners’ exes or what have you, but it speaks volumes to me that Doug’s ex-wife is ride-or-die for Doug’s current wife. It speaks volumes to me that Kerstin, Kamala and Doug are all each other’s biggest champions and that they all hype each other and look out for one another. I love this energy! Speak on it, Kerstin!
Don’t Stop Can’t Stop https://t.co/dV7TmdxTrZ
— Kerstin Emhoff (@keprettybird) July 22, 2024
Photos courtesy of Kerstin Emhoff’s Instagram, Cover Images.
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- United States Vice President Kamala Harris and second gentleman Doug Emhoff are seen in the Booksellers Room of the White House in Washington DC, during the State Dinner for Kenyan President William Ruto’s official State Visit to the United States. Featuring: Kamala Harris, Doug Emhoff Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 23 May 2024 Credit: CNP/INSTARimages
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- President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris speak at a campaign event to keep Black Voters at Girard College in Philadelphia Featuring: Vice President Kamala Harris Where: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States When: 29 May 2024 Credit: William Wade/INSTARimages
Uh – yeah – Buttigieg and his husband have twin toddlers. The Republicans are pathetic.
It’s such a tell: he assumed that because Pete is gay he doesn’t have any children. FFS go touch grass, Vance. 82% of American households deviate from the traditional nuclear family, you clueless turd.
Oh the GOP knows Pete has kids – they went on a rant when he took Paternity Leave (8 wks I think) and acted like he’d taken a year off while Sec of Transportation.
Pete did it on purpose to lead by example and normalize Paternity Leave.
At the time of the original comments, he did not yet have his children, but yeah disgusting and baseless rhetoric.
I love to see how the families support each other.
I don’t think this is a good strategy for Republicans. Don’t they have to win over suburban women?
@Fuzzy Crocodile don’t interrupt them.
I’ll drink to that one, cheers!
@yupyup Lmaoooo touche!
Lol! Racism and misogyny is the only strategy they ever have. Carry on, Republicans!
This is honestly one of my favorite things ever. Families like this are the new normal, even among conservatives, and seeing s healthy, functional dynamic like this is such a powerful statement against this narrative that only one family structure is a real family.
I’ve seen a LOT of chatter about GOP women saying “you don’t know my struggles” and “I’m on IVF / my baby died”. It’s hit a nerve that childless women are not considered humans in the GOP platform (they didn’t mind pro life, but attack fertility and it’s ON).
I predict this nonsense about being childless is all a precursor to a right wing conspiracy theory claiming it as ‘proof’ KH is not a ‘real’ woman. Similar to the sh*t they put out about MO.
Everything aside, I bet they even brunch together and this made my day in so many ways. Class all around.
Trump has 3 baby mamas that he cheated on and with.
I said on some other post, can you imagine if VP Harris had 5 kids with 3 fathers, the disgusting things people would say???
GOP are such hypocrites, I’m glad these attacks are going over like a lead balloon, and I really respect Kerstin Emhoff making this public statement. It says so much about the whole family.
This is what American families look like. Nothing unusual and not miserable, Mr. Vance.
This is what American families look like, but honestly many aren’t as functional and supportive of one another. I just love this so much.
This was amazing and was further testament to Kamala’s character! Shady Vance has bigger issues than professionals “without children”, what with MAGA attacking his wife’s ethnicity.
Also, last night I watched part of an interview on YouTube where Buttigieg talked about how hurtful those remarks were bc he and his husband had had a heartbreaking problem with an adoption (he didn’t go into details) and just a few months after JD’s idiotic remarks, he and his husband were finally able to successfully adopt a child. Just another reminder of about how devastating thoughtless and hateful comments about/towards “people without children” can be. And how quick the GOP is to “otherize” normal people, causing more division. How are people who don’t have children for whatever reason, harming the GOP or anyone else? People have to stop allowing all forms of stupidity and ‘isms’ (racism, sexism etc) go unchecked.
I think Buttigieg and his husband went through a difficult adoption process with a lot of false starts and when it finally happened, one of the twins was in a critical condition and they weren’t sure he would make it. Thankfully, he pulled through.
They did and this is exactly why you don’t comment on people’s parental status. One has no idea the reasons someone is currently childless unless they’ve told you.
I love seeing the idiots over on the right piss off and alienate suburban moms, moms with blended families and moms of those they didn’t birth, that’s gonna work so great for them LOL!!!
And cat ladies!
Yeah, don’t underestimate us!
I know not every blended family can be this way- people are angry or abusive or bitter or a host of other things.
But when it does work, and all the adults involved are on “team kid” – are supportive and loving.
it makes my heart sing.
Obviously i was already voting for Harris, but the ex making a public statement- was a lovely thing to do.
Maybe white supremacy is having its last gasp (we can hope).
These people are so civilized. Who wouldn’t want one of them running the country?
We have good friends that are like this – the ex is at every family event, he goes on family vacations with them (with his mom lol), etc. Everything else aside, it makes things so much easier for the kids. He doesn’t have to choose between thanksgiving at his mom’s or his dad’s because they have thanksgiving together with both sets of grandparents etc. My friend said it took some effort to get there but now its amazing.
“I know not every blended family can be this way- people are angry or abusive or bitter or a host of other things.”
Thank you for the caveat that not everyone CAN do this. I’m going through a really tough divorce. My husband was an abusive cheater and is now in a new, but serious, relationship. She met him while he was separated, so she did nothing wrong. But I am internally freaking out that she exists at all, never mind that she will be around my kids. It’s irrational. I know that, and yet these really ugly feelings keep bubbling up and I hate feeling them. In fairness, I keep these feeling to myself and my closest friend, so it’s not like she nor my ex KNOW how I feel about her. But I know.
My kids were not keen on meeting her and I said all the right things, that she will probably be really nice to them, and their dad will probably plan fun thigs to do with her, and that she met him while he was separated so it is totally ok that he HAS a gf. So I am trying to do the right things. I just FEEL all the worst feelings.
And when I see situations like these, where people are doing it right, I feel so gross. I’d like to be more like Kerstin. THAT is the kind of energy I have in life in general. But in this current situation, I feel small, ugly, bitter and mean. It feels exactly like jealousy, but in truth I am repulsed at the thought of getting back with him. He was awful to me on a good day, and there is zero reason to believe he’d ever stop being a cheating jerk. If anything I should feel bad for her because she has no idea what he is capable of.
The relationship is very new. He told me 2 months in that they are very serious and planning a future together so he wanted to introduce her to our kids right away. That was a month ago. So maybe in time I will get over these awful emotions and can be the decent and enlightened human that I thought I was. In the meantime, I hide those icky feelings.
The fact is my ex is awful and I am afraid of him, so when he insisted on still seeing so much of me since we separated, I obliged. It’s given me no chance to get over our marriage ending. And then suddenly he has a serious gf. And he’s been rubbing her in my face as much as he possibly can. So I’m sure that has a lot to do with my ugly feelings. Once the ink dries on the divorce papers (and he no longer can hang anything over my head: custody/house/finances) I can go as no contact as possible, and maybe I can heal and these feelings will go away.
TL/DR: Sometimes the bitter ex knows that that they are gross and can’t help how they feel.
@Turtledove big hugs.
What I’ll say is to give yourself grace – its okay to not be able to be the next Emhoff/Harris blended family. I think often when there are these happy blended families the divorce was usually less hostile/acrimonious (just grew apart etc). When something like abuse is involved, obviously its going to be very different.
Also, you’re right in the thick of it right now. It’s possible when Doug and Kerstin first separated, things were not as peaceful and easygoing between them as they seem now. you might never get there because your ex does not sound like a Doug Emhoff, and that’s okay.
@TURTLEDOVE,
I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I’ve been there too. It’s been 15 years or so since my divorce. It really wasn’t easy at first but I’m happy to say, last month we all went to our daughter’s graduation, sat together, had a celebratory dinner together and travelled back together. I had met my ex’s new family before but that was the first time we actually hung out with our respective partners and we had a lovely time.
I wouldn’t say we are blended family per se- we have no intention of hanging out unless it’s something big like this or our daughter’s wedding, but I do think my ex’s wife and their young kid (my daughter’s half brother) are very nice and my daughter is very happy at both our homes. And for that, I am grateful.
Just know that your feelings are perfectly normal. You are in the thick of it. I felt quite bitter and resentful for at least five years after the divorce. I didn’t think I’d be one day having a meal with them! But here we are.
Give it time! I grew up in this sort of happily blended family but the first two years, when I was only 9 to 11 years old… hoo boy! That was miserable. Then my parents figured it out. It’s wonderful and well worth it IF you can get there, but it also takes EVERYONE involved to make it happen.
Then you have Matt Gaetz claiming to be a father to Nestor when he never even adopted him. Funny how republicans don’t have any issue with that.
Ella Emhoff just posted on IG – “how can you be childless when you have cutie pies like cole and I” and then said she loves her three parents ❤❤❤
I agree that it says a lot about VP Harris, Doug & Kerstin that they co-parented so well. But I wish the response to Vance’s comments could be “stop with the misogyny” and not “well actually, she does have kids.” There have been so many horrible things said by Trump and his cronies and, too often, we are responding to it as if it’s a legitimate/reasonable thing to say and inadvertently validating it.
Excellent point. Even if she did NOT have step-kids, that wouldn’t make her any less a good candidate.
The thugs don’t want anyone to speculate on Barron’s medical situation. No one was allowed to question why White House Barbie didn’t move from New York for MONTHS after the inauguration. The vaccination status of senior executive branch officials was off-limits to questions. The list goes on, uninterrupted.
So… medical privacy, reproductive choices and the like are private matters, but these jerks get to speculate wildly about the vacancy status of Kamala’s uterus with no knowledge, facts or, apparently, repercussions.
Got it.
The standards that women and POC are held to. My word! Neither Donald nor JD birthed children so I suppose no one should listen to them either. It’s clear Donald is a hands off dad (especially with Melania swatting his baby hands away from her). No clue about JD but I would assume based on his comments he is hands off. How are they any better than a childless person? Have they organized play dates? Do they schedule pediatric visits for their children? Do they manage the child care arrangements? Do they fill out the school applications? I could go on and on. As to what childless people bring to the table – most of the ones I know take care of extended family members. That is not nothing. The rest of the folks I know that don’t have to do that just enjoy life so maybe they can bring that to the table. Teach the ones of us with kids how to slow down and take time for ourselves. My point is that we all bring value to this country. Even the Donald’s and JDs show us what arseholes look like and how to not be one.
Good for her. Three reasonable adults focusing on what’s best for the children. But yeah what JD Vance said was reprehensible. The decision to have or not have kids is personal and not the business of some douchebag like Vance. And some people want kids but are unable to so yeah STFU Rethuglicans.
Obviously there’s also an underlying message of, “People without children don’t care about yours.” Which is insane. Do they not realize that people who do not have children (for whatever reason) might still–gasp!–like children? Or have, I don’t know, nieces and nephews or children of their close friends that they spend time with and love? Or, just spitballing here, that people who do not have their own biological children might just still give a shit about the younger generations in general, since they are, you know, human beings and all?
I’m a teacher in Palm Springs, CA. It is VERY LGBT+ friendly and many of my coworkers & district administrators are LGBT+. I’ve worked with many students who had LGBT+ parents. In fact, I’ve noticed that LGBT+ parents often foster/adopt children with special needs and they are fierce advocates and loving parents. This GOP narrative is complete BS.
Republicans truly are the most disgusting, shameless people. Just when I think they can’t go any lower, the floor bottoms out beneath them and they prove me wrong!
I’m a childless fish tank lady who coparents the most adorable young lady with my husband and his ex.
We’re not like buddies, but we visit, we support each other in case someone is sick or in need to travel. We make sure to celebrate together the kid’s birthday by at least going to a restaurant; regardless of other plans. Our girl spend half of holidays with us, half with her mom. When I met her, I’d been seeing his dad for a whole yr and there was still some bitterness in the air. However, she invited my whole family and I to spend NYE at her place. We were making polite reasons for not going in terms of our number and lack of previous acquantaince, and she was adamant that her family was very sociable and that ‘she had calculated’ that the food stored in her house was more than enough for all of us.
Anyway, we didn’t go and she came to realize that her mom and I didn’t talk or send greetings either. She started asking questions, things got awkward and we decided to give things a twist. Still a work in progress, but all comunications are open and there’s trust; which is what matters.
Can’t wait to see what Ella wears to the inauguration!
I prefer to be called ‘child-free’