There’s a growing narrative about the incipient Bennifer divorce. The narrative: Ben Affleck was the one who wanted out and he’s been done with his marriage for months, all while Jennifer Lopez hoped for reconciliation and wanted to work things out. Not only that, but Jennifer only realized it was truly over when Ben purchased his new place and he closed escrow on her birthday. Now she’s quickly coming to the program and spreading the news that she’s fine and she’s making her peace with his decision. Speaking of, Us Weekly’s cover story is basically all about how Ben was completely over it.
A fresh start: Sources exclusively share in the latest Us Weekly cover story that Affleck, 51 — who’s been busy working on The Accountant 2 and a new Netflix thriller with pal Matt Damon — is ready for a fresh start. One in which he hopes to remain a bit more under the radar. “Ben needed new energy in his life,” says a source, noting that the star’s new home is what he was initially looking for before he and Lopez purchased their estate. “This one is more his speed,” adds the source. “He’s in a better mindset and is pushing forward.”
Jennifer was caught off-guard when Ben bought a new home: A Lopez source confirms that Affleck’s actions caught the singer off guard but says she had her suspicions “[because] he had been living in a rental.” Adds an Affleck source: “Ben moving into a new home was the closure of the relationship.”
Jennifer hoped they could work through it: Lopez was hoping they could make things work despite their issues. As Us previously reported, their hectic work schedules took a toll on the marriage. “Both have demanding careers that often require them to be in different cities,” a Lopez insider said. A second insider told Us that Lopez and Affleck were on “different pages” in life, noting that the twosome“don’t have a lot of common ground, and the honeymoon phase has worn off. In a perfect world, Jen would like to make it work with Ben. It’s heartbreaking to her and she tried very hard to make it work.”
They don’t want to drag this out? “Neither of them want this to be dragged out and contentious,” says a fourth source, noting that the stars have a prenup in place. [Their film, Unstoppable, is set to premiere in September] “Ben and Jen are in agreement that they want it to be seamless.” A fifth source confirms they have a prenup with certain conditions, so if they move forward, it won’t be long and drawn out. “Behind the scenes they have been finalizing what that will look like if they pull the trigger,” explains the fifth source. “Their main goal is to remain amicable.” The Affleck source adds they are in communication.
Ben wants to focus on himself: Affleck’s been focusing on his well-being. (The actor has been open about his past struggles with drug and alcohol addiction.) “Ben feels like he’s been weighed down this year,” says the first source. “He will always care for Jen, but he knows the marriage is done, and he wants to focus on himself right now.”
Matty D & not caring about the attention: “Matt has been so supportive throughout this ordeal,” says a fifth source. Their company, Artists Equity, is producing their upcoming film RIP. “Matt’s a great distraction, and he makes Ben laugh.” A sixth source says the Argo director isn’t overly concerned with the optics of the high-profile split: “Ben doesn’t care about the negative attention.”
I’m going back and forth on this. Ben’s an a–hole for the way he handled this, but also… I sort of understand why he feels the need to just cut things off rather abruptly and decide that he’s over this marriage. What’s wild is that he was over it back in February, during the premiere of This Is Me… Now, which was about how much she loves him and how she had been waiting for years to get back with him. He’s in the documentary too and they were actually really sweet together. But somewhere in between filming that (last year) and the premiere in February, it’s like Ben completely snapped out of it. Jane Fonda told her dumb ass that this would happen too. A lot of people told J.Lo. She didn’t listen.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, cover courtesy of Us Weekly.
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- Santa Monica, CA – Busy actor Ben Affleck clutches a pack of menthol cigarettes as he arrives at a meeting in Santa Monica. Pictured: Ben Affleck BACKGRID USA 4 MAY 2024 BYLINE MUST READ: BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Santa Monica, CA – Busy actor Ben Affleck clutches a pack of menthol cigarettes as he arrives at a meeting in Santa Monica. Pictured: Ben Affleck BACKGRID USA 4 MAY 2024 BYLINE MUST READ: BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Santa Monica, CA – Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were seen arriving separately to celebrate Samuel’s graduation in Santa Monica. Pictured: Ben Affleck BACKGRID USA 12 JUNE 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Beverly Hills, CA – The ‘Batman’ actor Ben Affleck was spotted arriving at his office in Beverly Hills, looking polished but rather disgruntled as he arrives with coffee in hand and an overnight bag over shoulder as he dresses for an event. Ben was also seen the night before looking upset in his car as Jennifer Lopez arrived home on a commercial flight from her lavish euro escape. Pictured: Ben Affleck BACKGRID USA 26 JUNE 2024 BYLINE MUST READ: @CelebrityLivin_ / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Beverly Hills, CA – Ben Affleck is seen arriving at his Beverly Hills office on a Sunday afternoon, dressed casually but stylishly. Pictured: Ben Affleck BACKGRID USA 7 JULY 2024 BYLINE MUST READ: BlueLoveImages /LAGOSSIPTV / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
I get that Jennifer Lopez is an ahole but so is Ben. In ALL his relationships. All the blame for the breakup was on Jen because she made Ben’s life miserable, he was stressed out from the strain, his ex and kids and friends were worried about his sobriety, Jen was smothering him so much she made the marriage toxic, blah, blah, blah. And the media painted JLo as the root cause of all things that goes wrong with marriages. Not Ben. Never Ben. Ben will pick up right where he left off after he broke up with Lindsay AND Ana AND now Jen…hanging out with his bros partying, drinking, gambling, and in 3 weeks, a new girlfriend. Wash rinse repeat. I’m so damn tired of this misogynistic narrative.
So how was JLo an ahole to him?
She probably demanded something from him.
I wouldn’t call her an asshole per se but putting his love letters out there and (literally) making a huge production out of their love life was never going to end well. It’s just so weird that they didn’t learn any lessons from the last time. She didn’t learn that he doesn’t want the endless attention and he didn’t learn that she does. They’re both too old to change these fundamentally different aspects of their personalities and lives so I don’t know why they both thought it would work.
Glad they’re keeping it amicable because the kids don’t need messiness.
@kitten that’s why I’m not surprised at how this is ending – they did not learn any lessons from last time. She loves the press and paps attention (and I dont meant that negatively, people are wired differently, you know?) and he does not. they live in very different celebrity worlds IMO. And while I think there may be love there, they seem fundamentally different and nothing has changed in 20 years, so why would the relationship work this time around?
The love letters thing is weird because…we never learned what they said. She showed them to her collaborative partners and he approved showing that part of the film. So I don’t get how SHE sucks for that. We still don’t know what the letters say!
Ben and Jen are azzholes. But Jen was not an azzhole to Ben. He probably left her because his idea of who Jen is and his idea of what life would be with jlo is not what he thought it would be. I also think he is trying to protect his kids in his decision. But who knows. Jen/jen’s entourage are going to be incandescent with rage 100% and release the tea.
But whatever happens next, I repeat, please do not bring back Casper in her life. ✝️ 🙏
To tag on to Kitten’s comment—he made it clear that he did not want her to release his letters to the public and she blithely ignored him, violating his boundaries. He’s probably had enough therapy to know how toxic that behavior really is. I don’t think they’re assholes. Ben is a narcissist who love bombs, gets bored and moves on—the shadow is cold. That’s who he is. And JLo is a fantasist who refuses to live anywhere but her own dream world where she gets her way. That’s who she is. They both have profound personality issues.
I really get the impression that soon after the wedding, the marriage was not the fairytale she thought it would be, and all the stuff with the movie and the letters and all of that was as much to convince herself it was great, along with everyone else.
I think they both need to work on their personal lives and get in touch with themselves more, and sooner. They are both creative people. They seem to process things quite differently.
JLo seems to have an idealized vision of romance and relationships, though it seems she is too quick to jump into one situation from another with men. Ben appears to go with the flow, but does seem to need more time to process his feeling and emotions appropriately. Often when he talks, he takes a while to put his thought into it. I agree with all of you that they would have been better off to only date and not entangle themselves so quickly with a marriage.
Eyezee that’s a reasonable take. There’s a lot of huffing /puffing going on in these threads but both of them need to slow down and do work on themselves. They both work a lot. Ben to me seems to check out emotionally so working obsessively, video games, gambling, drinking all matches that. He struggles emotionally so fills the void. It seems his sobriety is on track which is good.
Jen wants love and will do anything to get it. That works against her too. But she’s so ‘out there’ focussed she forgets about the inside the relationship bit.
I had hoped they’d both grown and learned but too much to hope for.
So we are supposed to believe that previously ben only thought about others and not himself. He is so generous. I wasn’t even aware of that. 😉
I think the hint was in the article when it said that the house he has now is more to his taste. It makes it seem like he goes along like with JLo’s “This is Me” and with buying a house to her taste and then afterward he resents her for it. Same as with Garner. It’s passive-aggressive immature behavior. It would have been better to have been honest in the marriage and to have not participated in the show if it wasn’t his thing and to have kept house hunting until both were satisfied with the result.
If I were him I would give up trying long term serious relationships and stick to light short term ones. Every few months a new lover and that’s it. It’s time for him to stopped deceiving himself and others
@equality, I think you have it spot on!!! Ben didn’t speak up and tell JLo how he was feeling and how resentful he was when she shared the letters he wrote her. Ben further fucked up as he refused to deal with his unhappiness on decisions at the time when they happened. Ben then checked out emotionally and did not make any attempts with JLo. Now JLo, as acting surprised but IF she had wanted to save her marriage, she would have done what was necessary, ie counseling, communications and the ilk. You don’t sit up in the Hamptons for weeks as you to celebrate your birthday, which I fully understand, but JLo isn’t taking responsibility here either.
As far as I am concerned they both suck and are both responsible for how their relationship progressed as their took the initiative to openly communicate as well. Ben played passive aggressive which lead into resentment. As for JLo, I don’t know what she thinking but she may have thought that once they married things would work out and when things became uncomfortable she fled from the situation.
THIS ^^^^
@eva. I’m right there with you. Some people aren’t built for long term relationships.
^ @BothSidesNow – spot on!
Garner did interventions for him and I doubt he ever really appreciated her. She’s better off without being married to him . But they do co parent and they maintain a friendship.
Oh I fully agree! The only reason they were married for as long as they were was fully dependent upon Jen!!! She battled all of Ben’s shortcomings and carried every bit of that marriage and childrearing. But Jen suffered needlessly as Ben did take advantage of her and she did suffer so much of her ownership. I too am glad that she is free from him as he certainly didn’t deserve her.
Yes, they do co-parent brilliantly!!!
Oh. So he’s not focusing on helping his kids adjust to yet another change in their lives?
I wonder who will carry that weight for him, to ensure the kids are as strong as they can be navigating yet another situation with their father in which they are merely afterthoughts?
Why, probably their mom, huh? Jen1.
Emotional labour.
I admire her, I really do. It’s gross that he just carries on like his behaviours don’t have consequences.
As always, team kids.
Ironically it is probably the two Jens who will stay friendly here. Their respective kids seem to have developed a nice relationship and I could see them both wanting to let that continue.
I can see that too.
If you want to be done with a relationship, you be done with it. Don’t dangle a possible reconciliation over your partner’s head when you know there’s no going back. Have the decency and maturity to face them and say “It’s over, I don’t want to try anymore, I don’t want to be in this relationship, we’re done.”
She has her failings, ok, he is a total ass. He hates doing any kind of emotional labor and needs to be the victim at all times. Honestly, good riddance!
Confused as to who you are talking about. He’s been clear as day what he wants since he moved into his rental in April and let it be known through tabloid sources that ‘he can’t change her and she can’t control him’ and ‘he’s come to his senses’ and ‘his grounds for divorce should be temporary insanity’. Where do you get someone was opening the door to a reconciliation there? She’s made it seem, off and on, she was open to it but really she spent part of march all of April and may on the east coast or on vacation to Paris and Italy then on to the Hamptons for the rest of the summer so it seems disingenuous for her to say that.
I wouldn’t assume he dangled anything—JLo is entirely capable of developing a grand fantasy of ‘love winning out over adversity’ all on her own. He probably just didn’t care enough to get into a fight with her. Silence isn’t agreement.
Splitting amicably is not dangling a possible reconciliation. He moved out, rented a house, started looking for a permanent one, and dealt with separation/divorce proceedings through his ppl. Doing this in a civil manner reads ‘I’m done’ unless the other party is highly delusional.
It’s Jen who apparently thinks she can make someone fall back in love with her in repeat, as she manages to charm her way into reviving her career from time to time. And at least for me, this is as much about money than about their relationship. On both sides.
Jennifer wanted to ressuscitate her TGLSET tour as the movies’ end game. Which is impossible without a reconciliation. Ben took the cringe as a proffesional blow , wanted back the $ he put in a house he hates and what he might have spent in the project as producer. Is significant that Jennifer’s NYC flat was sold after yrs in the market right before Ben bought his house at almost same price.
I think both of them are emotionally inmature, and the reason Ben comes across as steadier is bc he’s commited to sobriety for many reasons, one being Garner would totally impede him access to his minor children if he relapses. They both should stay away from marriage for good.
Well, at least we got dunkin donuts commercials (..aaah, JLO’s husband) which were greatly self-deprecating on Ben’s part and a lot of fun to watch.
I loved those and her brief parts were really good too. Yes, Ben so self-deprecating and funny in those. She otherwise is so performative; I can imagine – even if you know in advance about that – that it would be (get) so overwhelming if you weren’t like that.
Focusing on himself. That is what manchild Ben has done his entire life.
I was going to suggest that he and Brad Pitt move in together so they can give each other all the attention they both seem to desperately need.. they both seem absolutely toxic and exhausting.
Rumor is Brad Pitt hates Ben Affleck, don’t know why. But Ben’s kids are still are speaking terms with him unlike Brad’s kids so not exactly the same.
Ben might be a jerk, but he’s not an abuser. His kids seem to love him and he has good relationships with them and their mother. He’s never financially or physically abused them. That’s pretty nasty.
Alcoholics are selfish folk until and if, they learn not to be.
jLo seems to be in love with love.
Their relationship.. heartbreaking.
Glad they are ending things. Hope the kids get to stay friends.
And yes ~ Jen Garner is a saint
This about sums up my feelings on the matter.
So jlo had the most horrible professional year of her career + a huge train that would affect the mental health of any human being but “Ben feels like he’s been weighed down this year” Lol what about her when her husband decided he was done with her while she was already on the floor. Ben is selfish. Jlo isn’t perfect and I do think she discarded his feelings a lot, but Ben needs to grow up and learn how to communicate with his partner instead of going along with everything then resent her afterwards. He’s really a man child
THIS. Would he have been done with her if her movie and new music hadn’t flopped?
The answer is no. If the projects had been celebrated and awarded, he’d be right there with her. It’s the stain of failure that he’s running from.
I say yes. Celebrities break up way before they let us unwashed masses know about it. Looking back there were signs last summer they were drifting apart. Plus The fact that it had taken eighty real estate showings and dropping out of 3 contracts to buy a house tells you they couldn’t make decisions or compromise very well. I think they felt they had to stay together through the release of the album that’s why they hung on and it didn’t end sooner.
Those 2 projects JLo rushed out were so cringe. Who does that? The “greatest love story” while you’re barely a year into your marriage? Poor JLo.
I thought they were really good!
Totally agree. I also think that these projects were her way of “working on their marriage” and believe that she is genuinely clueless about why that didn’t turn out great for their relationship.
It is funny because (just like last time around) I noticed that when they first got together, Ben started dressing a lot nicer and neater than his usual casual wear. And, then when the trouble started he started wearing his old style of clothing again, tee shirts – jeans-flannel etc….
I think that sort of encapsulates their whole relationship.
Ben Affleck has been a douch ledouche multiple times over. But his parenting and coparenting seems waaaaaay different than hers. I’m not sure what jlo is like as a mom, let alone a stepmom. That part in the doc though, where affleck is in the camera van geeking out and she could 0 f’s, followed by her releasing those love letters right after a smiling coparenting pic with garner was posted by tmz. If I were violet, I’d have some words with my father.
Remember people this is US mag.. when have they EVER been a reliable source
If I were to guess which is what we are all doing I would say she’s a workhorse and he runs on chill mode…neither right or wrong…but hey what do we know. And I always take US with a grain of salt
This man is so selfish. I’m convinced he left her because her album, movie flopped and she was receiving a ton of hate. He was happy with her when she was thriving but at her lowest he dropped her so it wouldn’t ruin his professional life. He wanted to avoid another Gigli type situation.
Jlo IS a “hopeless romantic” but she doesn’t give up on her marriages. She stupidly married Ojani too early in her career and he wanted her to settle down and have kids. She didn’t want that so they ended but she was nice to him and let him manage her restaurant etc. He ended up stealing money from her and trying to sell their personal videos to the paps so she sued him. Diddy we all know how that turned out and I think she pulled a Cassie marrying Chris Judd to keep Diddy away. She was married to Marc for 10 years and he physically and emotionally abused her, cheated on her and was a drug addict. He was a rebound from Ben
I’m not friends with them, I don’t know what happened but I will hold with two fundamentally incompatible people will not be able to make living together work.
I know Jlo is a diva and in love with love and herself and delulu and whatever else. I know releasing Ben’s love letters and the This is Me Now projects were beyond cringe and a terrible business decision everyone warned her about. By all means all of that is true. BUT she was living a peaceful life with ARod when Ben pursued her with the emails and what not. I get why she would run to the “one that got away” and believe it to be the “greatest love story” for them to reunite 20 years later and end up happily ever after. That IS a great story. My point is Ben was the one who chased her and love bombed her, and the minute her projects bombed, he got bored and checked out. I’m sorry, but I blame him here. They’re in their 50s, not kids. Be a man and work on the marriage that YOU pushed for, at the very least. He just peaced out the moment she failed. He accepted everything she wanted only to resent her for it later. Grow tf up. He should’ve just left her alone.
Let’s not rewrite history here, ARod cheated on her and embarrassed her and she called off their engagement (her daughter was really upset and crying, we know this bc JLo put that shit online!). ARod he has a history of cheating on his partners too. She was probably ecstatic that her rebound from him ended up being her long lost love Ben (who she never got over) , but either way, she was done with ARod and was going to fill that void with another man anyway. She would be a total idiot to go back to ARod but she’s not so great at her romantic decisions so there’s hope for that douchebag Arod.
@V
+1
nothing but facts !
Honestly, with her track record I don’t know why either of them bothered. Although I did have at least some hope they could make it work. I’m surprised at how little time it took to fizzle out, too.
Both of them are at fault: She’s a serial bride and feeds off paparazzi attention. He’s a heavy smoker and drinker, who was fresh out of rehab before they got back together….and she knew all of this. JLo is in the twilight of her entertainment career and notifies paparazzi whenever she leaves home;Ben likes privacy. I’m sick of this duo; it must be bad if he raced to buy a $20M home. The man is tired and fed up…Just tell her to stop that terrible singing!
I can’t help but wonder if JLo’s involvement with Diddy being unearthed was a factor in Ben’s decision to walk away.
Advice to J.Lo. from Jane Fonda-that’s pretty amazing. Yet, J.Lo. didn’t listen.
Here’s hoping J.Lo. moves forward without wearing her heart on her sleeve because that is 100% not good for her with this particular situation.
In meditation world where I kind of live, what she needs to do is reflect and act on the intention of “letting go of what no longer serves you.”
Ben apparently started that process a long time ago, absent input from J.Lo.
Ben wanted to keep their relationship private. He never wanted The Greatest Love Story Never Told ( or whatever it is called) to come out. Ben told her that he did not want their relationship on social media. JL did not respect his wishes, nor did Ben express his true feelings obviously. Did she think he would just get over it? I don’t think it mattered whether or not the documentary bombed or was a success. I think he was truly embarrassed for himself & his children on the lyrics of some of those songs. JL made it sound like JG was just a placeholder in Ben’s life. I don’t understand how Violet could be papped with her in the Hamptons. Doesn’t she see that JL embarrassed her father & humiliated her mother?
I found it interesting that Whitney Port witnessed JL setting up her own pap shot outside the ice cream shop. JL never went into the shop, lol! She just proved Ben right that she craves being the center of attention & can never be satisfied…
I think no matter his success that Ben is just a boy from Boston at heart. I think JLO insisting on a 60 million dollar house was an eye opener. And given that JLO is never without her entourage and family that she moves in with her, and given that she loves the media attention, I think he was probably realizing that they weren’t going to grow old together in relative privacy. For all her fame, Jen G lives a fairly simple live. JLO is not ever going to be that person for him.
She blew up their life in such a public way and the sharing of their intimate communications was most likely the end for him.
And most love bombers can’t maintain that excitement once reality sets in. All together a recipe for disaster
I love how everyone’s a feminist until it’s a woman they just don’t like (this also happens to Kardashian Jenners and Megan Fox)
He literally signed all his letters to her with the phrase “not going anywhere” . She believed he was end game because he TOLD her they were end game.
His production company was all over her “Greatest story never told” movie. He even came up with the title. He states that in the movie.
I hate that he won her over again and then bailed when things got hard. again.
Which day was it that Ben Affleck wasn’t focusing on himself, because I missed it.
I just hope that dwelling on the blame option does nothing for any fourth coming relationship.
Do the work by being open to self examination with gentleness and kindness.
Then heal, and move forward with love, always with love….
It is a healthy way….
What I find odd about this romance/marriage is that there was a lot of very public wooing between them. The wedding plans were also relayed to the public fairly frequently too. The honeymoon photos were even released, as I recall, and the blushing bride even released pictures of herself on the marital bed the day after the ceremony. Now, there was no big falling out or real reason for either of them falling out with one another. I know people from the outside can’t really tell what’s going on in a couple’s private relationship, but I think that the tributes to Ben Affleck in song, film, and documentary form were still going while the separation stories started…
So, why the sudden rush to divorce so quickly? If their feelings have cooled for a while, why not take their time and think it through or seek counseling before pulling the trigger on yet another relationship? If it took 20 years to recapture a lost love, why not give it time? Oh, well, what do I know?
We don’t know how long they have been on the outs or if they did seek counseling. We are just seeing the aftermath of what happened, not the whole timeline. Some people who follow them both on social media said things seemed off with them back in December, so the relationship could have been on the outs for some time, but who knows?