The Telegraph sent their travel writer to ‘the secretive celebrity utopia of Montecito’

For anyone paying attention to royal gossip in the past five years, it’s been abundantly clear this whole time that the anger, rage and spite directed at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex is often based in jealousy. A lot of people – including the Windsors – bet big on the Sussexes failing miserably. It was painful for the haters that not only did Prince Harry and Meghan land on their feet, but they actually have a beautiful life now. They live in an enormous mansion with eleventy billion bathrooms. They live in Montecito, one of the wealthiest enclaves in California. They have rich friends and celebrity friends. Harry plays polo at the local Santa Barbara club. They have money and success and a lot of people in Salt Island have never gotten over it.

Speaking of, the British media has shown a real obsession to stalk and harass the Sussexes IN California. British royal reporters openly admit to taking any excuse to fly to LA or wander around Montecito. There’s a fascination and obsession with not only mocking Prince Harry for living in Montecito, but also an obsession with the lifestyles of the wealthy people in California. So imagine my surprise when the Telegraph sent their travel reporter to Montecito to do a piece on what it’s like to vacation in Montecito. The Telegraph even published “Inside the secretive celebrity utopia of Montecito” within their “Royal Family” section:

It was a mild August evening and the ground was shaking. I was sitting on a wall outside a takeaway pizza spot and the cutlery leapt off the tables at a nearby restaurant. Smart phones and watches beeped with emergency alerts. A passing woman in a ballgown kept her footing, eyes forward as if on a catwalk. Earthquakes always feel a bit surreal, but more so in the most surreal town in America.

If you have heard of Montecito it is probably because it has the highest concentration of A-listers on the planet. Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex moved there in 2020 after their escape from the UK, but like a smoothie menu, there’s a celebrity for every occasion. There’s the detox one (Oprah Winfrey), the goopy one (Gwyneth Paltrow), the mood-lightener (Steve Martin) – all are crammed into a town with the population of St Ives.

I’m not particularly interested in celebrity culture, and less so in hunting them down, but I’m interested in the idea that they have all decided to congregate in one place. Why here?

[From The Telegraph]

Yes, “why here?” Answer: because the British media is obsessed with all things Sussex, especially their lives in California. The rest of the piece is just a traditional travel story, with recommendations for hotels and restaurants and some interesting historical details. This actually reminded me of Omid Scobie’s reporting, where Prince William has apparently mocked Harry and Meghan’s “oh so California self-importance” constantly for years. William’s jealous, obviously, but the rest of that family remains fascinated by California and American life in general. Oh well.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.

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56 Responses to “The Telegraph sent their travel writer to ‘the secretive celebrity utopia of Montecito’”

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  1. kelleybelle says:

    For every time they say the Susseses “aren’t welcome or are “irrelevant,” there are always reporters and paps skulking around Montecito, isn’t there?

  2. Amy Bee says:

    The British press are obsessed with Harry and Meghan.

  3. Elizabeth Kerri Mahon says:

    The royal family and the British media hoped that Harry and Meghan would crash and burn like Edward and Sophie. They didn’t factor in the fact that Harry had been in the army for ten years and went to war or that Meghan had supported herself since her teens.

    • Where'sMyTiara says:

      ” the rest of that family remains fascinated by California and American life in general” – but not enough for the Salty Fam to show their asses up to visit with Charles’ grandkids. How weird.

      Also, the whole “not particularly interested in celebrity culture, and less so in hunting them down”? Bish, please – pull the other one, Rota stalker from the Telegraph. You traveled 5000+ miles to sulk in a diner and pretend you don’t care. We all see right through you, dumba$$.

  4. Nicole says:

    I swear people need to give it a rest. I am a native Californian, born and raised in LA County. Santa Barbara is a fave (which is the biggish city near Montecito for uninformed). It has a temperate climate, great shopping, and lots outdoor activities. Why do Harry and Meg live there? Privacy. They can live their lives without being bothered. Lots of houses have big fences. You can go into town get what you need. Montecito is a small enclave with no street lights. You have to know where you’re going to get there. The pace is very slow. If I could afford to live there I would. I see the appeal.

    That said its just a small California town adjacent to Santa Barbara no where near Beverly Hills, Malibu, or Hollywood. When the reporters say Meg goes on a quick jaunt to Hollywood or Studio City, this is a lie. It’s far. And worse with traffic.

    • Teddy says:

      Fellow California girl here. Agree with all you said. Coastal Santa Barbara county is simply postcard beautiful. It’s classic and quiet and laid back, and it’s relatively unspoiled. A no-brainer if you want privacy and you can afford it.

    • Cee says:

      I’ve been to Santa Barbara on holiday and would live there in a heartbeat. It also took forever to get there, by car, from Hollywood. Nothing quick about it, at all. Worst traffic I’ve seen in my life.

    • Jan90067 says:

      I went to UC Sant Barbara. It took me over 2 hrs WITHOUT traffic to come back home for weekend/holiday visits to my parents’ home in Beverly Hills. That was over 30 yrs ago; traffic is a LOT worse now. Granted, H&M can grab a helicopter and get into LA faster than that, but I doubt they’re doing that with any regularity.

      Montecito is a charming town. It’s a lot more built up than when I was at school, and it’s got a *great* shopping area with high end shops and fabulous restaurants. I’ve splurged and done a few spa weekends at Los Olivos and Montecito for dinners/wine tastings/shopping. It’s a lovely treat for a long weekend 😊

    • booboocita says:

      Another California girl here. I teach at one of the University of California campuses (we won’t say which, for privacy reasons). I’ve visited Santa Barbara many times to attend meetings and conferences at the UC Santa Barbara campus, and I’m delighted to go every time. It’s gorgeous, and home to an amazing bird sanctuary. Santa Barbara, or “Santa Babylon” as the UCSB students like to call it, is a lovely resort town with fabulous restaurants, cafes, and boutiques. I’d live there if I had the cold, hard cash.

      Santa Barbara is adjacent to Montecito, which is home to a great many celebrities and wealthy persons who want privacy and have the money to live in big, beautiful houses. It’s perfect for H&M if for no other reason than their neighbors want privacy too, and are willing to work with them to ensure it. I still remember Harry mentioning in an interview that he discussed with Orlando Bloom which paparazzi were hanging out in their area, slinking around hoping for pics. I’ll bet all of the folks in that neighborhood communicate with each other about security.

      • aftershocks says:

        ^^ Thanks for sharing your knowledge of the Santa Barbara and Montecito locales. Regarding the U.K. tabloid hack’s travel writing fail, there are more accurate and less overwrought articles about the history of Montecito, and of the Riven Rock Estate (where H&M’s home aka Chateau at Riven Rock, was built). H&M’s Montecito Haven was built by multimillionaire businessman, Terry Cunningham and his wife, Randi, in the French Provincial style. The Cunninghams purchased a subdivision of Riven Rock estate in 1999, and lovingly built the ‘Chateau,’ which was completed in 2003. It served as their adored family home for six years. They sold it in 2009 to a Russian oligarch. H&M privately purchased the property at a discount in 2020.

        Below are two well-written background histories on Montecito and Riven Rock which ably answer the Telegraph hack’s probing question, “Why have [wealthy] celebrities all decided to congregate in one place. Why here?”

        https://terryryken.com/santa-barbara-area-information/montecito-history/

        https://insidestory.org.au/with-royalty-at-riven-rock/

      • Agreatreckoning says:

        This guy is the weirdest travel writer. He’s sitting on a wall, near a pizza takeaway place and observes cutlery jumping from a nearby restaurant he doesn’t name (nor the pizza place).? Great effin travel writer! /s

        I haven’t read any actual news reports from Montecito regarding cutlery flying/jumping off tables. Apparently, all it takes is a nonsensical BM writer to tell it so. /s

        If this is his travel writings, so very sad in the attempt. But. yeah, the Sussexes are so irrelevant that the BM are sending people out there. I’m guessing he wrote this article from home in England and spent no time in Montecito or SB.

    • vpd4 says:

      Also, native Californian, living in Washington state now. BM need to give it a rest. It gets so tiring.

    • Moniquep says:

      @Nicole, you didn’t mention the leaping silverware!! I’m going to book a trip there just for that. Is it anything like fishes leaping from a lake or the ocean?

      • BeanieBean says:

        It’s like the grunion running! 😉

      • Agreatreckoning says:

        Love a Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead movie reference! A very minor claim to fame-I worked with Tara Ison’s (co-writer of the movie) brother. Not in the film industry. I knew about the movie long before it was announced. Her brother was so excited for her. Don’t know what their relationship was-just know he was very excited and in awe of his younger sis.

        Why do people choose to live there? Because they can?

        I wanna be a travel writer and visit coastal places. Sign me up. It would be a personal hardship but I’ll take one for the team. /s My lord, the Telegraph writer had to suffer through good weather, well seasoned food and decent humans. They’ll have to go back again just in case they misinterpreted the initial trip. /s

    • Mary Eleanor Kidd says:

      The BM seem to have little to no concept of just how large California is, and just how far one has to drive to get from one major city to another. You would think they would know how to look at a road map.

  5. Pinkosaurus says:

    OK, I never say this but I think this article is actually a reasonable premise because the tabloids and Rota write and talk about the “Montecito” royals CONSTANTLY. I’m sure readers who are not familiar with the area other than the occasional paparazzi pics of Meghan driving or M&H going out to eat are interested in what the town is really like.

  6. girl_ninja says:

    The obsession. They are really out here trying to play archeologist “observing” wealthy California living. “Why don’t they like us anymore???” stamps feet. 🙄😂🤣

    • Brit says:

      Listen, these people are so close to throwing their hands up and saying “Please, we didn’t mean it and we want you guys back”. They are so lost without them 😂

  7. Brit says:

    The tabloids and reporters literally go over there hoping to bump into them and you can’t convince me otherwise. I wouldn’t be shocked if they tried begging Harry and Meghan to return if they had the chance in person. These people are suffering because they’re bored and are completely locked out access wise to their cash cows. I’ve noticed the coverage has shifted as well. Colombia, Aro and their growing profiles has tongues waging and they desperately want access. The problem is that they did too much damage and ruined any trust. Those editors, papers and reporters are at a standstill. That family better get it together because that press is furious.

  8. tamsin says:

    A woman in a ball gown walks by a take-out pizza place? What a fascinating juxtaposition. And he writer cannot contain his/her snarky tone.

    • Jais says:

      Right? A ball gown? What is this person’s definition of a ballgown? A long fancy dress is not necessarily a ballgown😂

  9. Jais says:

    I mean traveling to montecito to essentially write a travelogue is a sweet gig. Nice work if you can get it, I guess? The writer should be thanking the Sussexes for giving them a reason to go. Paying a writer to visit just bc Harry and Meghan live there does not suggest irrelevance though.

  10. Bad Janet says:

    The author is not impressed by celebrities, but traveled all that way to visit Monticeto? I don’t believe that for a second.

  11. Tennyson says:

    I’m French but live in the England. The obsession with Harry and Meghan is pathological and so embarrassing. You need to realise that we can’t even pay for our groceries without being exposed at the cashier by a dozen of magazines with negative headlines about H&M where Meghan is usually *uglified* and Harry *stupidified*. Every day!
    I’m glad they left and I’m glad Meghan is safe.
    I

    • Mary Eleanor Kidd says:

      It’s as bad in U.S. checkout lines at the grocery stores. Our gossip mags are usually screaming, “Harry At Wits End With Meghan’s Behavior! Divorce Eminent!”

  12. wolfmamma says:

    The saddest part of all this is how tragic the obsession is. The Royal Family has fallen so very very far since the Queen and Philip have passed on. Instead of great photo ops with their patronages we get.. this ~ day after day after day.
    Yes there are health circumstances for at least one of them but honestly ….

    I’ve noticed BM has gotten more vicious about just about everything as well
    … get a grip, folks ~ for world peace if nothing else

    • Brit says:

      The tabs are a state of desperation. They are losing money, lawsuits, layoffs, people freelancing or retiring. Even the rota, some of them have lost careers, being sued, forced to go to YouTube etc. I think a lot of the anger towards the Sussexes is because those papers and reporters became too dependent and got too comfortable. Thinking the Sussexes were going to keep putting up with it and hoping the family got them under control. It’s been almost five years of supposed downfalls and return to the UK.

      • lanne says:

        failure couldn’t happen to a more deserving group of people. If your job is professional stalker and hate-monger, all the negativity should return your way. Every time a rota ratchet loses money, a flower blooms in Montecito. May the fields of flowers bloom eternally.

      • Eurydice says:

        It’s hard to see what else they can say about the royals right now. There’s the Charles death watch, Camilla’s still ugly, Kate’s still out of the picture, William’s still bald. The cage match between Charles and Andrew might blossom into something, but in-between times, what?

    • Unblinkered says:

      Couldn’t agree more, Wolfmamma, the golden years of The Queen and the Duke are long gone. Replaced instead with what seems like never-ending reports of infighting, petty jealousies, mysterious sicknesses and ill-health. Only Charles and his sister being seen to be believed fulfilling a decent number of engagements. The rest really just loafing. Loafing and freeloading.
      What a message the UK is sending to the world.

      • sunnyside up says:

        The Duke of Gloucester is busy as well and he had just celebrated his 80th birthday, unfortunately he doesn’t get the pat on the back he deserves, elderly and too far down the succession. His Lady is busy as well.

  13. Harla says:

    Last year my sister and I traveled to Montecito/Santa Barbara for some shopping/dining and I can concur that the area is lovely, the shops were great and the food was incredible!!! We had dinner at Tre Lune and I think it was the best dinner I’ve ever had and I think about frequently, a year later! The people watching there was off the hook, several very, very May-December couples, it was hysterical!

  14. Latine says:

    This is why royalty or certain celebrities deserve some perks. Harry is still generating money for the people of England. I don’t believe a title is enough payment. Either he should get public security or the tabloids need to pay him yearly!

    I imagine part of Andrew’s problem is he required a ton of money to go anywhere. Especially when it became easier to communicate. The late 70s when your location could be known in less than an hour.

    Princess Diana said she needed to be with people who already had security.

  15. Digital Unicorn says:

    Its obvious from the farthest galaxy in the unknown universe the Wails (esp Peggy) is jealous of the Sussex’s life in California as you KNOW this the the life they want but don’t have no matter how much they try/cry about it.

    Peggy’s jealously and need to compete is one of the main reasons why I think he and Katty will divorce – Meghan’s little toe nail outshines Katty on a bad day.

    The Sussex’s are happy and living their best life – all the best to them.

  16. Joanne says:

    Nothing says I’m not interested in celebrity culture much less hunting them down then flying half way around the world to that. The Duke and Duchess are totally irrelevant. /s

    • lanne says:

      Spending multiple thousands of dollars to cover irrelevant celebrities. How does the Telegraph remain in business? Someone ought to tell them how business is supposed to work.

      Why the hell aren’t they in Balmoral covering the royals if royals are so important? I hope that ratchet gets reported and cited for stalking.

      The Telegraph is no better than the Daily Mail or the Sun. Tabloid, not a newspaper.

  17. Melissa says:

    Do these same reporters go and investigate why so many wealthy famous people live in the Cotswalds too? It’s not like Montecito is unique.

  18. Sparky says:

    1. I agree with the sentiments regarding Santa Barbara/Montecito noted above. My dad lives there near the Sussexes. He’s about as vanilla and unpretentious as they come. My parents moved there 30 years ago (Mom has since passed away.)and it’s the same now as it was then— quiet and low key.

    2. The description of the earthquake is total BS (beyond even the ball gown lady.) There hasn’t been an earthquake of a sufficient magnitude to make flatware jump off tables in years. Fires and flooding/mudslides are much more prevalent. My parents have had to evacuate 3 times because of fire.

    • lanne says:

      Maybe this entire trip was a figment of the deranger’s imagination. No earthquake and probably no woman in a ballgown at a pizza place. I’ll bet they come back and try to call the article “satire.”–the “get out of being an asshole free” excuse (see also, “I was just joking).

      Again, why? How embarrassingly unprofessional.

      • kirk says:

        Not so unprofessional that you can’t try to bilk your employer out of an all expenses paid trip to sunny SoCal. Hey 😎!!! Come on now. To be even a somewhat credible member of BRFCo Associates, you need to be able to lie through your teeth, and never, ever do research like using Maps app to check distances, or check earthquake activity on USGS or Caltech. Hard to believe anyone in UK swallows this garbage, but humans will cling to their delusions for psychological reasons.

    • SenseOfTheAbsurd says:

      As an earthquake-habituated New Zealander, the jumping cutlery lie was completely obvious. Just doesn’t work like that. I’ve been in three 7+ earthquakes in about the last 12 years, with November 2016 being the biggest. If there had been an earthquake big enough to do that within the timeframe we’d have seen news reports of damaged buildings and infrastructure, and about a million idiotic tabloid articles about how the Sussexes must flee the dangers of the earthquake zone.

    • Christine says:

      Agreed. I live in SoCal, and we have had two earthquakes that I felt in this time period, but absolutely nothing moved even one inch, once the swaying of light fixtures and the rattling of window frames stopped. “Jumping cutlery” is the attempt of someone who has never been in an earthquake pretending they have been through an earthquake.

      • Kkat says:

        Yeah I’m in southern California and we haven’t had any earthquakes lately that would make a fork jump 😛
        Our last decent one 2 weeks ago? The fault was around Pasadena was enough to make me get up and go downstairs, just in case it was a foreshock (it wasn’t)
        So the person is full of crap.

        To get cutlery to “jump” it would have to be an biggish earthquake.
        The latest one we had might have been enough for a tall glass to fall over if you were right over it in Pasadena, but very doubtful

        Earthquakes don’t work that way anyway, if stuff was jumping you wouldn’t be casually sitting there on a wall. The big ones either knock you on your butt or you’d be crouching down next to the wall . I’ve lived here my whole 55 years😂 so I’ve been through a bunch of bigger ones

    • Gennessee says:

      Sorry, but I’m gonna have to disagree with you on one point. In August, SoCal had two earthquakes. The first one on Aug 6th that was a 5.2 and centered NW of Los Angeles County, near the Bakersfield area, and would have been felt in Montecito. My relatives in Ventura County and Bakersfield felt that one, panicked, and ran out of their homes.

      The second was a 4.4 and centered in Pasadena, which was felt all over L.A. and some areas of OC and San Bernadino. I felt that one and immediately went on with my day, but yes, that sucker was strong as I saw my ceiling fan, which was turned off, swaying back and forth.

      In both cases, bottles dropped from shelves in liquor stores (thanks to home videos), and depending on how far they were from the epicenter, I believe the cutlery jumping story—if it happened on the evening of August 6th.

      • Kkat says:

        Stuff swaying and a few unstable things on shelves falling over is what your going to get with the 5 we had and the 4.4. the 4.4 was a thrust quake and fairly close to the surface so it actually felt more like a 5

        And if your family was running out of the house in panic at a 5 , they aren’t native Californians lol
        I made my kids go downstairs for an hour to make sure it wasn’t a foreshock. But it wasn’t anywhere near enough for me to make them get in the hallway where it’s strongest. We sat on the couch

        To get cutlery actually jumping you would need a much bigger thrust quake, and the dude wouldn’t have been sitting there eating pizza.

        And a bigger quake like Northridge puts your butt on the floor and has bookcases falling over.

  19. Isabella says:

    William wonders why we don’t like him here in the U.S. Remarks like oh so California self-importance. He is so unsuited to be a king.

  20. Reign says:

    My question is Why here?
    So why did the author if not to be there?
    What a weird article. It’s not like if you google California that’s the place to visit, so why go if not to troll?

  21. Debbie says:

    Oh, my God. William (of all people) talks about an “Oh so Californian self-importance”? Dear Lord, the man walks around with velvet robes festooned with ribbons and gilded rope and fervently hopes to, one day, wear a shiny piece of dense metal with conductive properties on his head. To my recollection, he’s also travelled to foreign lands to be carried around on plush chairs by the citizens of his host country. THAT William is calling someone else “self-important”? What self-delusion these people have.

    By the way, when am I going to see signs of that famous pivot from the Sussexes?

  22. westcoastgal says:

    My parents have lived in Montecito for 30 years, it is simply a lovely neighborhood in Santa Barbara. Yes the homes are larger and more upscale but there is a simple casual elegance to the area. No one acts too important, yes wealthy and famous people live there as it is a beautiful area and quite low key. No one walks around in evening gowns and no one dashes off to Hollywood or Malibu, you live in Santa Barbara for the peace and easy pace. No wild times or big deal parties, just people keeping to themselves and businesses knowing that the privacy and peace fuels their economy. If anyone bothered a celebrity, they would be quickly dispatched out of the establishment and community, but people living here are too savvy to mess with a good thing. We are not up in people’s business like the british media. we mind our own damn business.

  23. Kate says:

    The earthquake happened here at 9:09. The alert is still on my phone. And if the writer was sitting at Bettina pizza it closes at 9. So they would have had to be eating the rest of their crust outside with their jumping silverware. I don’t want to pay for a Telegraph membership. Does anyone have the actual article?

  24. Berkeleyfarm says:

    Santa Barbara and Montecito are so nice to visit. It’s the gift that keeps on giving for the Royal Rota … aww geez you’re sending me on assignment out there!

    And I totally get why they’re in one of these enclaves. I live in Northern California and we have them here too. Privacy, security, and most of the locals just MIND THEIR BUSINESS and don’t like outsiders snooping. And locals who aren’t “celebrities” are used to seeing famous folks around so it’s no big deal.

  25. AC says:

    “William’s jealous, but the rest of that family remains fascinated by CA and American life in general”

    It’s the same in social media posts where they have to keep justifying themselves that they’re better. It’s like they’re anti-American but they also have a very Weird obsession. And the thing is, it’s all 1-sided. Hardly anyone in CA thinks about the other side of the pond LMAO.