As many have pointed out, there seems to be a vibe that something big went down in March or April, something which hurt Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s marriage to the point where there was no going back. J.Lo clearly believed they could work through the issue and she patiently waited for Ben to come to her and work it out. He did not. Instead, he likely spent the summer starting up something with Kick Kennedy. Nowadays, J.Lo is on the warpath. It turns out that Jennifer Garner might have J.Lo’s back as well, because “sources close to Garner” have entered the post-divorce-filing fray. From People Mag:
Jennifer Lopez spent time and energy making sure Ben Affleck was happy during their marriage, a source tells PEOPLE. The singer-actress, 55, filed for divorce from Affleck, 52, on Aug. 20, listing their date of separation as April 26. A source close to Lopez tells PEOPLE she “did spend a lot of time making sure Ben was happy and had everything he needed.”
“The way she cared for him was almost childlike,” the source continues. “Friends constantly reminded her that she’s not responsible for his feelings. He’s very moody and dark at times. Jennifer appreciates life in another way. She’s very grateful for everything.”
Lopez and Affleck spent much of the summer apart, with her spending much of her time on vacation overseas and in the Hamptons while Affleck mostly stayed on the West Coast.
Another source close to Jennifer Garner, Affleck’s ex-wife with whom he shares three kids, tells PEOPLE that Affleck “has never handled stress well.”
“He doesn’t have good coping skills. He gets easily frustrated and tends to be moody. When he’s relaxed and in a good mood, it’s amazing to be around him,” the source says. “But more often, he’s upset or frustrated. Many times, it’s just something small that he gets stuck on,” the source adds. “He really doesn’t understand how his bad mood affects people around him. It’s just not fun being around that kind of negativity.”
Meanwhile, another source said Affleck is “doing well and is very focused” in the wake of Lopez’s divorce filing: “He thrives when he has work projects. He’s been great when it comes to the kids too. He’s doing exactly what he wants. He seems very happy.”
I have some theories about what went down this spring but I’ll keep them to myself for now. I respect the fact that while J.Lo is on the warpath when it comes to getting her side out there after she filed for divorce, she’s not actually spilling the details of what went down this spring and why things suddenly flipped. It could just be that Ben is a moody a–hole. Or it could be something else. I find it interesting that “sources close to Garner” are seemingly taking J.Lo’s side too.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.
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- Jennifer Garner attends the “Stranger Things: The First Shadow” World Premiere at the Phoenix Theatre London December 14, 2023,Image: 829972375, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: celebrityphotos uk / Avalon
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- Hollywood, CA – Happy Hollywood couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez spend their afternoon with all their kids at The Magic Castle in Los Angeles. Pictured: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez BACKGRID USA 21 AUGUST 2021 BYLINE MUST READ: Vasquez-Max Lopes / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Celebrities attending the Valentino Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2024 show as part of Paris Fashion Week in Paris, France Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: Paris, France When: 24 Jan 2024 Credit: Aurore Marechal/Abaca Press/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
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- Celebrities attend the 2024 Met Gala Celebrating ‘Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion’ at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: New York, United States When: 06 May 2024 Credit: Michael Stewart/INSTARimages.com
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- Exes Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner reunite on their son Samuel’s last day of school in Los Angeles, California Featuring: Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 11 Jun 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
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- Exes Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner reunite on their son Samuel’s last day of school in Los Angeles, California Featuring: Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 11 Jun 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
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- Ben Affleck runs errands in the city. Featuring: Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Jun 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
Welp, now I want to know what happened in the spring!
me too–I’m straight DYING to know! and I’m not a fan of either one.
Didn’t she go to Japan with her children for a couple weeks in February ? I wonder if he cheated on her when she was away, and she didn’t find out until April. I mean, it’s blind speculation, but this is also Ben Affleck we’re talking about. He’s a jerk like that.
Yeah, I totally buy this cheating theory.
“He doesn’t have good coping skills … more often, he’s upset or frustrated. Many times, it’s just something small … “
Sounds like a passive-aggressive control freak to me. Also sometimes known in the wild as “petulant baby-man.”
Recent social media conversations have dubbed this type of man a “king baby”. He demands ALL the attention, things HAVE to go his way and he’s destructive and has a tantrum or sulks LOUDLY if they don’t.
For some reason, I also keep thinking of the time Ben went on Finding Your Roots and when it came out that he had a slave owning ancestor, he tried to force them to take that out of the show.
It seems like he doesn’t work well with reality.
Is that plantation house they married in from his family???!
Yeah, he totally knows what he’s doing. You don’t get to your 50s without knowing what tools work for you.
I have several of those “moody” people in my life. You’re constantly walking on eggshells and then when they come out of their bad mood, you’re supposed to act like it’s all sunshine and rainbows. It’s exhausting.
Put addiction in the mix and you have a receipt for a disaster.
Yeah, sadly I know the feeling. Walking on eggshells is exactly how I feel around a specific family member, who has also struggled with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and drugs. There are times when I’m enjoying a great moment with my mother, but the mood shifts the instant he shows up, like anything could set him off
Ben is such an ahole. I hope every sane woman will keep away from now on. He’ll likely follow Tom Cruise and Pitt’s footsteps- from having successful, famous women, apparently very in love with them, to embarrassing flings with Russian socialites. Whatever happened, whoever’s fault, he likes to embarrass and humiliate his ex-partners. He can’t just end things like a man, we’ll sadly watch him spiraling down very soon. I feel for his kids and Jens, mostly Garner because she cannot cut herself off and forget he exists.
Aren’t these people a little OLD to be blasting out this he-said she-said PR? They’re in their 50s! By that age most buttercups know not only how to behave, but how to recognize that a self-indulgent, disturbed man who cheats at cards, love, and sobriety will bring nothing but heartache. And is not worth it, no matter what kind of “romance” he bombs you with initially. Is JLo really that naive? I’m glad she came to her senses, millions of dollars later. He probably ran up her credit cards gambling.
THANK YOU! I’m like, “remind me how old these people are again?” smh
the lovebombing is VERY seductive. they customize it to you. even when you can see it happening, it’s difficult to resist. and all you can really do about it is get away.
someone with nearly unlimited resources can really pour it on. I really feel for JLo.
Counting cards isn’t about cheating on cards. It’s a skill that leverages win against the dealer. That’s why the casino doesn’t like it. There is an article on this blog back in 2014 when Affleck got thrown out by a casino for counting cards. Some comments made an excellent explanation on 21 and counting cards and casino rules. Worth a reading.
When I saw JLo and Violet spending time together it confirmed to me that Ben was the problem.
I agree.
All I can say is that Ben seems to have a type. He does appear to like petite brunettes. And he always seems to have someone waiting in the wings when he blows up a relationship. I just hope that (and it’s likely possible) that Jennifer G helps maintain the relationship with JLo’s kids cus it really does look like Fin and Emme are close. And whatever midlife crisis Ben is going through, he realizes that he was pretty close to Emme to. You divorce wives not children.
I don’t know- he broke up the marriage of that SNL writer and she is blond with an athletic build.
I wonder if the Emme closeness is a myth
Jennifer Garner is so classy for this. I remember when Ben threw her under the bus and blamed her for his drinking, jlo released a statement standing by him and saying she was proud of him etc and now that Ben is acting out she’s having jlo’s back when she didn’t have hers. It says a lot about her character
Wait, he blamed Jennifer Garner for his drinking? When?
On Howard stern I believe years ago he said if he were still married to her he’d still be drinking
Just like Brad Pitt, blaming a “boring” marriage to Jennifer Anniston for his substance abuse.
I wonder whether Ben has undiagnosed/untreated ADHD. It would explain a lot.
It seems like everyone in the world has ADHD these days, how could we not with so much stimulation firing at our nerves from everywhere. Even if he has a real diagnosis, of any sort, that’s no excuse to be deliberately unaware and uncaring of how your “moods” affect those you purport to care about.
Just FYI: that’s not how ADHD works.
Ben Affleck is an addict.
That is his problem.
He needs to take accountability for his actions if he wants to grow up.
Having said that sometimes an a-hole is just an a-hole.
For too often, untreated ADHD leads to addiction.
When was the Tom Brady roast? Because he definitely looked like he was on Something! Probably relapsed, did something shitty, didn’t accept responsibility, the usual. Poor JLo I love her and want her to have a fairytale ending. I thought Ben was it.
Tom Brady roast was live-streamed from LA May 5, 2024. This fits the timeline. He definitely looked like he was on something.
It all fits with what came out, on the record, after the Garner divorce. (Like her shining on you.) So either People is extrapolating based on prior reporting or this is likely what went down. Though I doubt it was one single thing or entirely on him.
I think he’s probably a dry drunk. They stop drinking but don’t address the underlying issues about *why* they drank. It’s partly why they tell addicts not to make major decisions within the first year, though obviously it can go on longer. My parents got sober when I was 12 but my mom was definitely a dry drunk. She wasn’t an abusive alcoholic so there were times during that period I wished she was still drinking! They can be absolutely miserable to be around.
@BQM, have you ever heard the saying that the alcoholic drinks, but the spouse gets the brain damage? When the alcoholic in my family finally calmed down, it was the other parent’s turn to act out. They didn’t disappoint.
Let’s not forget that video of Jen G. going through a fast-food drive-thru with Ben in the backseat. The look of disgust on her face was REAL. She was helping him clean up after he stumbled again. I think that’s why she seems to have Jen L’s back.
No one is perfect but Ben puts his women through the ringer.
That was the look of a woman who cut the apron strings with her manbaby, only to have him come crawling back to her and force her into a position where she once again had to be 100% the adult and clean him up yet again after he manbabied it up.
Even the way she shoved the food in the back—it wasn’t like a woman giving fast food to her ex. It looked like a frustrated mom shoving food at a bratty teenager.
He doesn’t understand how his bad moods affect people? Please, they all do. They don’t care. They think they are entitled to your emotional labor and care and you working you life around to provide exactly what they need at any given moment. Women don’t get that kind of pass. We’re conditioned to be caring and accommodating at all times, or we’re difficult bitches.
The language “when he’s good it’s amazing to be around him” is so similar to the language Jennifer Garner herself used when asked about the split. “When his sun shines on you, you feel it but when the sun is shining elsewhere it’s cold. He can cast quite the shadow.”
Am glad she has JLo’s back. The problem is and always has been him. Why have people forgotten about him banging the nanny when with Garner, and the trip to Cape Breton with his extramarital piece?
I wonder if there was furtive drug use happening. Kick Kennedy’s history is very druggy, as well. Maybe he’s using again, which would also piss off Garner since it affects her kids.
The fact that Affeck has not been in contact with JLo’s kids is also very revealing of his character. What. an. asshole.
This strikes very close to home – I have a couple of bipolar men in my family (not saying Affleck is bipolar, I am not qualified to diagnose him nor do I care to…I’m just giving context to my own experience with men with mood swings. Also – the men in my family are inconsistent about seeking help and treatment. I know there are many people who are bipolar who are able to manage it well. Unfortunately, the men in my family do not) and those dark moods are ****awful.*** I don’t know if a particular personality type is more affected by the moods of others – for me, I had to just get away because I couldn’t be around the darkness anymore.
I read stuff like this and I pray that I have done my part to raise emotionally healthy boys (now young men).
Oh Kaiser, please tell me what your theories are about what went down this spring. I won’t tell anyone.
I think most people are thinking some sort of relapse but are hesitant to call it that without more information.
I agree. The most like answers to that question are a relapse or cheating, with a combo also being very likely. Perhaps the “new love” started to wear off and instead of realizing “oh, we’re still good together”, he thought otherwise and threw a bomb at the marriage. Which would track for him.
All conjecture!
Ben typically goes into relapse and finds some woman willing to join him on the ride when he’s going through the “dark” phase so I firmly believe that’s exactly what happened, perhaps when JLo was away.
I said to this to a few friends: I think Ben has an undiagnosed mood disorder. I am sure during his various rehab stints he was probably told of the possibility and to seek help but I can see someone like him being very recalcitrant to seeking help for it.
I said this under the other article, but Garner backing up Jlo in this People article is pretty big. I think Ben is off the wagon (Tom Brady roast anyone?) and they are/were trying to help him. He doesn’t seem to get it though. “Hanging out” with Kick ain’t going to help him either.
I don’t know if he is off the wagon and I won’t speculate otherwise. Garner is not saying anything she herself hasn’t already said about him previously.
Or maybe he’s just a self-centered, immature asshat with substance issues. It’s kind of you to try to empathize, but the negative effects on others in his life are still bad and lasting.
A lot of people who struggle with substance abuse issues do so because they started attempting to self medicate to regulate their moods. Addiction is a disease – and yes I empathize with anyone struggling with it. I don’t turn off my own humanity simply because someone is famous.
We’re definitely putting more thought into this than he ever has.
The fact that “friends” of Jennifer Garner are backing up JLO speaks volumes to me. She still has younger kids that she’s raising with Ben and is pretty quiet about him, even when things aren’t going well. Something must be going on, or went on, for both the split but also the banding together to get the story out about his moods and behaviors. I wonder if they are trying to get him to have a come to Jesus moment and get some kind of help. I don’t mean necessarily substance abuse, but maybe general therapy for issues he hasn’t addressed.
I saw things changing between them last summer of ‘23 so a lot less abruptly an unraveling than what Kaiser thinks. Remember that documentary was done last winter of ‘23 and there was massive footage from it. I think Ben took over it and cut it so he looked really good / the supportive wise husband. And Jen less flattering the needy one who discounted his and others ideas and feelings. Yes that seems really Machiavellian but I think that might be his personality type. He seems to get resentful and lash out. Anyway I think it’s interesting everything about kick sounds just like him. I think he’s circled back to every woman he’s been with save Ana. The way he’s had her ‘friendship’ in his back pocket for years also sounds like Lindsay shookus.
You saw it in the Summer of ’23, I saw it on their honeymoon. NO ONE cries on their honeymoon and then the next day/couple days later goes home ALONE while their wife is taking pics of her booty on a yacht. Then, in 2023, they both took vacations separately, Ben went to Dubai & Portugal with his kids I think and JLo went to Italy(?) or France or something.
As for the documentary, “Jen less flattering the needy one who discounted his and others ideas and feelings.” I’m glad he left that in, she’s the one who did what she did. If she didn’t behave the way she did Ben would’ve not been able to paint her in such a way. The fact is- She was no different in her previous documentary, acting like a petulant child. She was the one that thought it was great to put out there the way she behaves. (I love Shakira and the fact JLo thought she was an amazing enough performer to be on stage/better than Shakira put a bad taste in my mouth. Shakira was very smart and kept her mouth shut & never complained. Shakira was the one that should have done the Super bowl, not JLo.) Everyone forgets she only has a “singing” career because Tommy Mottola hated his ex. Mariah Carey doesn’t know her for a reason.
The famous quote by Maya Angelou comes to mind: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” And this quote goes for BOTH Ben & JLo. They are both to blame. They saw what a relationship was like (not working) 20+ years ago. Neither one of them changed. I just don’t like all of the hate directed on one side when both people seem to be equally as awful.
I’m sure Ben is no picnic to live with but neither is Jen. This is so obviously coming from her PR team is laughably obvious.
I think Jennifer Garner probably feels bad for JLo. JLo was so convinced she was the love of Ben’s life and they were soulmates who found their way back to each other. But no, he was just lovebombing her until he got bored and abandoned her.
I imagine Garner was watching this “greatest love story” unfold with a “bless your heart” kind of thinking towards JLo.
To have compassion for Lopez after she painted that picture of their relationship is really mature and just, kind. She knows Ben, she knows what it’s like to fall for him and to watch him check out and self-destruct. Good for her for having JLo’s back.
Ben just keeps repeating these same patterns over and over. Watching this is like Deja vu.
Garner honestly looks better and better the further out from the end of the relationship.
Ben strikes me as an aging manchild. He doesn’t want a woman with needs of her own, who might hold him accountable for his behavior, and have basic adult expectations for him. He wants a bangmaid to manage his adult life, roll her eyes at his childish antics, and look the other way when he philanders.
JG is unfortunate in that she made children with that child.
My theory – BA has (undiagnosed) bipolar mood disorder. He’s also fallen off the wagon. There was cheating and drink / drug abuse that went down.
Jen G is backing JLo as extra support to have a drug/ alcohol intervention for rehab for BA.
I think its a combo from both of them. Jennifer Lopez went full unhinged J.Lo to the point even Ben didn’t matter in the plan of things just him being the “Ben” she needs for J.Lo. You can’t tell me that Jennifer came out as not having mental issues, grounded, healed and together in the documentary. He was bored in life and remember what Jennifer was like to him. How she looked at him, how vivacious, exciting and glamours she is and lets be honest that world famous booty. She forgave everything Ben did to her way to fast and well once he remembered “oh yea she is an attention seeking social climber. I thought she had climbed to the top by now but she just finds another top. She also didn’t really forgive me and trying to emotionally manipulate me when I have an opinion (Benny Medina). Remember her saying the the doc “he doesn’t like it but he can’t stop me. He loves me so he will support me.” I took that as “shut up Ben this is for ME and you have to let me do it because of what you did to me 20 years ago people think I’m crazy to take you back so I have to show them all you LOVED only ME”. She was trying to re-write history and it backfire. There was not cheating, no relapse and no I don’t think anyone deserves what is happening to Jennifer and to be honest Ben. He didn’t want to be with her anymore because she moved her crew into the house and ghouls like Benny Medina. How would you like paying part of 65 mill for your house to have this weirdo Medina tell you what is what in your own home. She should have worked on her marriage the second he move out and not play games and go the the east coast. she is feeling hurt from the rejection and we are all super invested clearly but good for him and eventually Jennifer will see it was for the best and to stop caring what anyone else things because she is the one dealing with the fallout.
“sources close to Gardner” are as meaningless as “sources close to H&M”
Not true when it comes to People Magazine. They would never mention Jennifer Garner if they didn’t have the ok from her people.
As D said, there’s no chance this was printed without Garner’s approval. People magazine is not going to ruin their relationship with someone like Jennifer Garner for a quote like that.
I’ll say it. She wasn’t around and he cheated on her. The dude has cheated on every woman he has been with. The only reason he never did so with Ana was because she dumped him first. And that’s still hilarious to me that she refused to give up what she wanted (marriage and kids) and was probably the first time in eons that Affleck had a woman say no to his BS.
Affleck cheated on:
-GOOP
-JLO
-Jennifer Garner
-Lindsay Shookus
-There was that Playboy model he was cheating on Lindsay with and I recall on here that’s when he went into rehab with the famous photo of Jennifer Garner tossing that food at him.
And we know he had an affair with Blake Lively, the Nanny (what a mess that was), etc.
And then Ana broke up with him. Heck he never even denied it.
I think there were many, many more. There used to be a blind item (while married to Jennifer Garner) how he just randomly hooked up with a stranger at an event and wasn’t there a roommate of a woman he met online who live tweeted him having out at their apartment? There might be sex addiction in the mix, too
Great summing up of the suspected affairs @Walking The Walk.
I suspect Emily Ratajkowski should be on that suspected affairs list — remember that David Fincher interview where he said Ben told him to get her for the role of his mistress in Gone Girl because he thought she was ‘really f*cking hot’? Reminds me of the Blake Lively dynamic in The Town (although she did out their affair herself so more confirmation on that one). Just can’t see Ben not making a move given his history and framing of the request of Fincher that way.
In the interview with Vanity Fair with JG, Victor Garber was quoted as saying ” I think she went from someone that wanted to take care of everybody to be someone who said in order to do that I have to really take care of myself”
I never understood why as women we would never tolerate a (girl) friend who has mood swings & needs constant reassurance, yet we tolerate a man ( husband/ boyfriend) with those issues.
You can tell in pics where JL & Ben were papped, JL is reassuring Ben & trying to calm him like a child…
Never forget the nanny photographed with Tom Brandy’s rings while traveling private with both Ben and Tom when he was married to Garner. Only the 3 of them know what happened in that trip. Ben will never be happy in a monogamous committed relationship.
Which magazine (People or Us) did Jennifer Garner used to consistently leak to during her long separation/divorce from Ben? People is approaching Daily Fail/National Enquirer levels of tabloid journalism, but if Jennifer Garner is leaking to support Jennifer Lopez, my bingo card for 2024 will have to be completely rearranged.