Sometimes I wonder if the British media has intentionally created a closed-loop system of reporting for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. By that I mean, one outlet will get a palace briefing full of lies about Harry and Meghan, and that outlet will dutifully parrot the palace talking points. Then every other outlet will report the same thing, with some subtle variations, then the story will bounce back and forth and they’ll blame Harry and Meghan for all of it and pretend that they were the ones trying to make news. The story about “Harry is plotting his return from exile” wasn’t plucked randomly out of a hat. The blaring Mail headline was briefed specifically for a reason, and it was not briefed from Montecito. That Mail story – which received some pushback from Harry’s people – was a sad affair, yet more projection and longing from an unsettled national press desperate for access.

Anyway, I bring this up because the Spectator published this piece by Alexander Larman: “Prince Harry isn’t coming back any time soon.” Larman says outright that Harry and his friends are responsible for the rash of deranged Sussex-focused stories in the past week. Larman also says that Harry won’t be coming back to the UK… because Charles and William don’t want him and don’t trust him.

Harry’s Etonian friends: I refer, of course, to those redoubtable souls who continue to maintain friendships with Prince Harry, after everything that has happened over the past few years. Quasi-abdication, Oprah, Netflix, Spare – none of it matters in their eyes. The Duke of Sussex is, to them, a cracking example of a Top Bloke, and long may he be defended. This is, in my view, the only plausible explanation for the apparent willingness of these ‘friends’ of Prince Harry to come forward to various media outlets, including the Daily Telegraph, and conveniently rubbish stories and suggestions in other, less appropriate newspapers.

Harry is the third wheel in Montecito? The current subject for discussion is whether Harry, tiring of life in Montecito as a third wheel to his wife and her jam-making business, is putting out discreet feelers to see whether he could resume a limited number of royal duties in Britain, with an eventual view to a reconciliation with his family. This has been floated before, especially in the wake of his father’s illness. But since his fleeting, low-key return to the country for his uncle Lord Fellowes’ funeral – where, true to form, he and his brother ignored one another – there have been further whispers that Harry would like a life where he can be around more and see his family, as well as pursuing good works.

Larman thinks bringing Harry back would make the monarchy a laughingstock? Unless matters change very considerably, it is unlikely that either the King or Prince William will countenance any kind of formal return for Harry into the royal family. It would be too humiliating after what has happened, and would risk making the institution a laughing stock. Likewise, his high-profile battle against the British government over his personal security issues, and his bold statement that the country is no longer safe for his wife to visit, do not suggest that he would be returning here holding out an olive branch. Harry’s friends, a loyal and helpfully media-savvy bunch though they doubtlessly are, might be amusing themselves by making contradictory and attention-grabbing claims. But for all the media excitement that these pronouncements engender, it is tempting to take them with a large helping of (no doubt America Riviera Orchard-sourced) salt. Unless hell freezes over, Harry is not coming back to Britain full-time. And many may breathe a deep sigh of relief at that.

[From The Spectator]

He also went on and on about how Harry’s friends in both countries are awful and they’re the ones who couldn’t shut up about Harry. Which is bullsh-t, in case you need it spelled out. The whole thing about “Harry’s friends are begging for help to ease Harry’s return” was always a story given to the Mail by people other than the Sussex camp and people other than Harry’s actual friends. The way Prince William and his rage was centered in every single story shows intelligent gossip consumers who the source really was. The question is not “why would Harry’s friends say these things,” the question is “why did William hand that story to the Mail?” Was it just another version of their fantasy that Harry will someday come crawling back to them? Or was there something else behind it from the institution?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.