In Touch Weekly finally deviated from a Brangelina “Last Straw” cover story, but it’s still a piece about how Angelina is the devil. But this time it’s really, really funny! This is seriously the most enjoyable In Touch Brangelina piece I’ve ever read. So, the basic gist is this – In Touch got an “exclusive” interview with an ex-employee of the Waldorf-Astoria in New York. Now, Brad and Angelina have stayed at the hotel many times over the past three or four years, so that part of it may be true. So, this ex-employee, a maid named Anna Kowalski, claims she witnessed Angelina having long visits from a “tall, dark-haired man — who was one of her dialect coaches from [Salt].” This is the man who Angelina was allegedly boning. Not just boning, but having hot, kinky, vodka-soaked, rubber-sheets-and-sex-toys-and-everything-is-wet mindblowing sex. Damn!

In their four years together, Brad Pitt has become all too familiar with Angelina Jolie’s jealous streak. But those fits of jealousy may spring from personal guilt over an affair of her own. As In Touch has learned, it may be Brad — not Angelina — who truly has something to be angry about.

In an exclusive interview with In Touch, an ex-employee of the Waldorf-Astoria in New York claims that Angelina has been cheating on Brad — and details a steamy tryst that could end their troubled relationship for good. Anna Kowalski, a housekeeper who speaks several languages and was often assigned to the hotel’s most high-profile guests, worked extensively with the family on their numerous visits to the hotel over the past four years.

Anna tells In Touch the affair took place over the summer when Brad and the kids were at their rented mansion on Long Island, N.Y., and Angelina was staying at the hotel by herself while shooting her movie Salt.

According to Anna, Angelina more than once took visits from a tall, dark-haired man — who was one of her dialect coaches from the movie. “She would see the tutor while a bodyguard stood entrance at the suite,” Anna — who was fired from the hotel in December because, she claims, she did not get off Brad and Angelina’s floor fast enough when security shut it down for a doctor’s visit — tells In Touch.

Anna adds that, after one late-night meeting with the tutor in mid-July, Anna personally saw what looked like evidence of a night of passion. Once she got into the room, Anna shares, she was shocked by what she saw. “The room was a disaster,” she explains. “There was water all over the bathroom and empty vodka bottles everywhere. Every towel had been used. And over five dozen cattleya orchids were scattered around the room, and there were the tops of the flowers in the tub, with candles.”

Once Anna got into the bedroom, she shares, she got an eyeful. “The bed was covered with black rubber sheets, and there were sex toys on it,” she reveals, adding that it left her with little doubt that the actress and the tutor were having an affair.

[From In Touch Weekly]

It sounds like fun, right? If you’re going to have an affair, this is the way to do it. Waldorf-Astoria, rubber sheets, pouring water and vodka all over the place, ripping the f-cking orchids out of their planters. You know that’s some hot sex, when even the orchids become the victims of your lovemaking. In my mind, the dialect coach looks like Clive Owen.

Oh, did you notice that the woman is an “ex-employee” because she was fired for overstaying her welcome around Brad and Angelina? No, of course she doesn’t have an axe to grind! Why would she make something up to get back at them?

In Touch Weekly cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Angelina on August 8, 2009 in LA, credit: FayesVision/WENN.