Seven years ago, while appearing on Watch What Happens Live, three-time Tony award winner (and national treasure) Patti LuPone called Madonna “a movie killer” who “cannot act her way out of a paper bag.” Good times. The backstory between the ladies was that Patti originated the role of Eva Perón on Broadway in Evita, while Madonna was cast in the part for the movie adaptation. So why are we rehashing seven-year-old news? Because our candid Ms. LuPone was just on Hot Ones Versus with former roomie and Agatha All Along costar Aubrey Plaza (the show premieres September 18 on Disney+). The two squared off in a battle of truth-or-eat-the-hot-wing, and one of the challenges Aubrey laid down was for Patti to apologize to Madonna on camera… or eat a “death wing.” I swear, Patti dove in for that death wing before Aubrey even finished her sentence.
Patti LuPone is taking the Madonna lyric “please don’t say you’re sorry” to heart.
The Broadway icon joined Aubrey Plaza on a recent episode of Hot Ones Versus, where she refused to apologize for incendiary comments she once leveled at the pop star. Plaza directed LuPone to “look into the camera and apologize to the pop icon” for calling her a “movie killer” who “can’t act her way out of a paper bag” on Watch What Happens Live, or else eat a “death wing” — the show’s spiciest offering.
Want to guess what the legendary diva chose to do? Eat the wing down to the bone in a matter of seconds, stare straight into the camera, and then throw the wing at it.
“I’ve seen her on stage and I saw her in a movie and I went, ‘Um, okay,’” the actress and singer told Plaza. “There’s just some things some people can’t do, and you just gotta admit you can’t do it, that’s all. Or don’t even try it! Everybody can’t do everything.”
That seemed to be the end of LuPone’s feelings on the matter, but actually, she had one more right hook waiting. “Like Kim f—ing Kardashian. Can we go there? Or shall I eat another wing?” This isn’t the first time LuPone has critiqued Kardashian’s acting abilities.
Madonna and LuPone both have their fair share of beefs (Sandra Bernhard recently spoke about how “sad” she is that Madonna abruptly ended their friendship 30 years ago; LuPone also recently spoke about her regrets over her own 30-year feud with Andrew Lloyd Webber). But in this case, the beef in question appears to be entirely one-sided, in LuPone’s direction.
The American Horror Story star first fired shots at Madonna when prompted by a viewer question on a 2017 episode of WWHL. She said she hadn’t spoken to the singer after she took on the role of Perón in the 1996 film adaptation. “The only thing that Madonna has ever said to me was ‘I’m taller than you,’” she recalled.
When host Andy Cohen pressed on to ask what LuPone thought of Madonna’s Evita, she held nothing back. “I was on the treadmill when MTV used to have videos, and I saw, I believe it was ‘Buenos Aires’, and I thought it was a piece of sh–,” she said. “Madonna is a movie killer. She’s dead behind the eyes. She cannot act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be in films or on stage. She’s a wonderful, you know, performer for what she does,” LuPone conceded, “but she is not an actress.”
If you have to ask who won the hot wing battle, then you don’t know Patti LuPone. Granted, Aubrey Plaza entered the fray already compromised with “an open wound” in her mouth. But still, Patti barely seemed phased by the heat. Her matte bright red lipstick didn’t even smudge! Hilariously, the only thing that seemed to get to Patti was Aubrey turning to use a spit bucket for what she couldn’t handle. That she could not stand! So yeah, nobody f–ks with Patti LuPone. Not rude theater-goers, and not deathly hot wings. The one bone I’ll throw to Madonna is that she did not manage to kill A League of Their Own; that movie is too good to be tanked by supporting role stunt-casting. But that film notwithstanding, I look forward to the inevitable drag queen impression of Patti LuPone saying, “There’s just some things some people can’t do, and you just gotta admit you can’t do it, that’s all,” with extra points for having Madonna’s and Kim K’s images emblazoned on the costume.
Photos credit Getty and via YouTube
I would say the reason ALOTO succeeded and that Madonna didn’t kill it was because Madonna was just being Madonna. No acting needed. AND she had great chemistry with Rosie O’Donnell. One of those succeeded (rightfully) despite her NOT because of her situations.
So LuPone remains correct on all fronts.
I read a review of her acting a long time ago that stuck with me… something like you could see when it was ‘now show a different emotion’ on the script. Her acting was described as very disjoint and unlifelike.
So the wonderful Patti Lupone is completely right and I’d join her for that hot wing in an instant (and I hate spicy things!)
Well, she’s not wrong. As a kid I loved the movie version of Evita and now I’ve heard more and better performances of it and I think….yikes, what were they thinking? Some songs are okay in it and some are just….flat. Madonna treated it like one long music video and it just….well I guess its a pretty movie. but they needed someone with pipes to play Eva and that was not Madonna.
I think she was fine in League of Their Own but her role was just her, she didn’t have to really act. Geena Davis and Tom Hanks and Lori Petty carried that movie.
I cant think of another Madonna movie where I would say “she was good in that.”
Some people can act, some people can sing, some can do both, but its okay if you can only do one.
so no, Patti isnt wrong.
If I dig into my dim, dusty memory, I think she was good in Desperately Seeking Susan, but then she was playing herself.
Regardless of your feelings about any of the named principals, I’d suggest just watching the video. It’s hilarious. And the interaction between Aubrey Plaza and Patti LuPone is a rare and beautiful thing.
I’m so glad you said that. I probably would not have watched it otherwise and it was a fun watch. It’s rare to see celebs so uninhibited and friendly with each other. Totally crazy but fun.
Thank you so much for saying this, I wasn’t going to watch it! These two are hilarious together!
That was absolutely hilarious.
Patti is a queen. Both Patti and Madonna were guest stars on Will & Grace, and two things are clear:
1. Madonna couldn’t act in that either, while Patti was a hoot.
2. When you listen to the “Just Jack & Will” podcast, it’s clear who the main cast preferred!
“Dead behind the eyes.”
Nailed it.
Patti is a salty broad in the best of ways and I hope to one day have just a sliver of that kind of rizz. Legend.
A salty broad is my kinda dame.
I’ve always respected the hell outta her.
I love Patti. I’ve posted it here before, but I saw her in a play years ago, and there was some technical probably, so she came on stage and sang for everyone while they fixed it. It was magic. (And she’s not wrong here).
Question – I LOVE the cast of Agatha All Along but don’t know anything about it, should I watch Wandavision first? I’m not a big Marvel fan.
I would recommend watching WandaVision to get Agatha’s background. You don’t have to watch any of the movies – just know going in that Vision died in Infinity War so the mystery going in is how is any of this even happening. The series itself is a fun, creative tribute to historic sitcoms through the decades.
Wandavision is FANTASTIC. I’m not a big Marvel fan either (I have seen most of the original universe or two universes or WHATEVER but I’m not a big fan as you can tell) and I LOVED Wandavision. I know there were things in it I missed but overall its more about processing grief and yes, its a great tribute to sitcoms. The one warning I give is if you have recently lost someone important in your life, you may to wait on it a bit.
You may not need to watch it for Agatha All Along, but I would. Overall its more witchy and less superhero-y lol.
Thanks to both of you!
I saw an ad for it, and I love Sasheer and Aubrey, so I was very excited. I will watch Wandavision first.
I got to see her in ‘Anything Goes’ decades ago! Still remember how fab she was!
George Harrison once said, after directing Madonna in Shanghai Express, that she was a teacup of talent in an ocean of ambition” and that working with her was “a pain in the ass,” because she “hasn’t got a sense of humor.” Kinda says it all.