Barry Keoghan has a tragic backstory. His father was not in the picture, and his mother was an addict who died of an overdose. He lived in 13 foster homes before being taken in by his grandmother. He worked his ass off and he received an Oscar nomination last year. He also welcomed a son, Brando, with his now-ex-girlfriend Alyson Sandro. Barry has spent more time in LA than Ireland in recent years, which has not gone down well back in Ireland. He’s spent much of the past year in a relationship with Sabrina Carpenter, although they likely broke up a month ago and are already back together. Because of that relationship and because he was spending more time in LA, he basically went months and months without seeing or visiting his son. All of this is backstory for Barry admitting that he has no idea what a “normal” father-son relationship looks like.
Barry Keoghan is opening up about his own experiences as a parent. The Saltburn alum stars in director Andrea Arnold’s Bird (in theaters Nov. 8) about the fraught relationship between 12-year-old Bailey (Nykiya Adams) and her single father Bug (Keoghan). The actor said he drew on his own real-life experiences growing up, and as a father now, for his portrayal.
“I’ll just say this — I didn’t have a father figure growing up, so even my relationship with my son isn’t quite of the normal father-son relationship,” Keoghan told Entertainment Weekly at the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival, “because I don’t have that figure to draw experience from and to base it on. Love, you don’t need anything to draw from, love is pure, and so I’m not on about that, but I’m on about little stuff like teaching your son this or teaching your daughter that.”
Keoghan welcomed his first child Brando in August 2022 with ex-girlfriend Alyson Sandro, and he said his own version of parenthood had a major impact on his performance in Bird.
“Going into this, I didn’t have that [normal experience], so it’s a very brother-sister kind of chemistry going on [for Bug and Bailey], which I felt was right for it,” he said. “And you see that these days — there’s a lot of young fathers out there and young mothers and they’re almost like sibling-like, you know what I mean? Which is beautiful.”
I think acknowledging the dysfunction is a start to breaking the cycle. It’s important that Barry can acknowledge and talk about the fact that he didn’t grow up with a father and he never had anyone role-modeling healthy family dynamics in his life. In an ideal world, he probably would have worked on himself and worked on breaking certain patterns before he brought a son into the world. But here we are. He’s back in his son’s life and I guess he’s trying to figure it out in his own way. It seems obvious, but I do have to point out the sexism at play here – a celebrity woman would never be able to ghost her child for months at a time and then dip back in with a shrug.
Photos courtesy of Barry’s IG, Avalon Red.
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- London, UK, 22 January 2024. Barry Keoghan on the Red Carpet for the UK Premiere of ‘Masters of the Air’ at the Picturehouse Central, London, UK.,Image: 839553745, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Lee Floyd / Avalon
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- Barry Keoghan is being honored by Hasty Pudding Theatricals as 2024 Man Of The Year at Farkas Hall on February 02, 2024 in Cambridge, Massachusetts Barry Keoghan is being honored by Hasty Pudding Theatricals as 2024 Man Of The Year at Farkas Hall on February 02, 2024 in Cambridge, Massachusetts Cambridge MA Copyright: xx,Image: 843011130, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO / Avalon
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- Barry Keoghan attends the “Bird” Red Carpet at the 77th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 16, 2024 in Cannes, France.,Image: 873556350, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Olivier Huitel / Avalon
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- Barry Keoghan attends the “Bird” Red Carpet at the 77th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 16, 2024 in Cannes, France.,Image: 873556465, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Olivier Huitel / Avalon
Someone should explain to Barry there is a thing called books. And you can read books about how to be a quality father in case you were lacking a role model.
Canada is experiencing widespread inter-generational effects that follow when children are raised without parents. We now know without any doubt that the impacts are staggering, No amount of books can provide a fix for the profound impacts of a childhood without love, safety and positive role models. Most of us can’t begin to understand how Barry’s judgment and ability to attach in a healthy way have been affected. I have nothing but compassion for everyone in this situation and hope that they experience positive change even if it happens incrementally.
See also: Therapy! Get some! I am a single mom, I have zero sympathy for men who ghost their own children.
Its amazing how women are supposed to automatically (and judged) know to parent despite whatever their background is. And men are given a pass. if a mom did this she would be crucified by the press.
He is an adult. He chose to have a child. Grow up and figure it out. Seek therapy, guidance, read a book. Ask questions from fathers you respect.
There are plenty of people who didn’t have good childhoods or rolemodels and still are parents who don’t ghost their children. Its called caring about their children and WANTING to be a parent. He clearly does not at all unless its convenient to him.
I mean, I understand what he is saying about not knowing about that kind of relationship, but you won’t learn it if you live and work in another side of the world. He is also 31 years old, not some teenager who doesn’t know what he is doing. His baby is 2 years old. From his ex’s social media likes, it seems that she feels like a single mother. They both brought this child into the world. He needs to take some responsibility raising him. I am happy it is emphasized here that a female celebrity would have an online hate campaign against her if she did the same thing. Some of Sabrina’s fans didn’t even know he had a baby back home since he was visiting her all over the world.
My husband didn’t have a great role model for fatherhood either, or parenthood in general, and neither did I. But we were able to look at how that affected as kids and know we didn’t want that for our own kids. So we prioritized our kids. It’s not hard. You don’t need an education or therapy (both which are valuable tools) to know your own childhood was messed up and not to bring it upon your own kids. He has money and connections and resources, unlike countless regular and/or struggling people. He’s making choices and excuses. Like someone said he isn’t actually very young any longer. He’s a grown man. He needs to be acting like it.
From my anecdotal experience, people with toxic childhoods fall into one of two camps. Either (like you) they recognize their parents’ mistakes and intrinsically understand not to repeat that pattern -OR- they recognize their parents mistakes but are doomed to repeat/perpetuate that pattern.
I think there are so many factors that dictate the outcome: access to therapy and good counseling, a deep understanding of abuse dynamics, a strong desire to NOT be like one’s parents, and the proper tools and coping mechanism.
he talks as if he and the TODDLER can just keep up over text. he is so privileged and could easily work then return for two weeks but he chooses not to. for men, the bar is so low writing a check is considered good enough parenting. 20 yrs from now he’s gonna be wondering why he cant get this kid on the phone.
THIS. If a woman dipped on her child like this, she’d be accused of being a bad parent and ostracized. The bad PR would certainly hurt her acting career. No special dispensation for having had a difficult childhood, because her mothering instinct is supposed to kick in and compensate, right? Men get away with everything.
Nobody’s gonna talk about how his ex and his current are basically the same person?? Talk about having a TYPE. Damn.
Honestly, his comments make me nervous. It sounds like he’s admitting he doesn’t have the tools to properly raise a child. But maybe he just needs a lot of therapy.
Who is he dating now? He’s no longer with Sabrina Carpenter, who also looked like his ex.
Unofficial but the rumors are that he and Sabrina are back together.
Tbh, I don’t think they ever broke up. Sabrina likes his comments on her posts and he always comments about her success. He only follows Sabrina on Instagram and tik tok.
I would think after enduring his childhood, he would put more effort into a daily connection, even a call/zoom.
Therapy.
Feels like 2 generations of kids are 1 parent families now, so sad and the the col, I worry about how the next 10-15 years will go.
Every kid needs and deserves to be cared for and shown love.
Look, on one hand, at least he is honest.
On the other hand, it’s not rocket science! The most important thing is to just be there, physically, for the child, and show it love and affection.
Seriously, people should need a licence to have children.
BS excuse. I too never had a father figure and it never stopped me from intrinsically knowing that you have to be there for your child, wtf. He’s just a douche dad who’s trying to excuse himself with his sad life story. Guess what you’re not a child anymore Barry, step up, grow a pair and be an adult responsible for your kid. Why’d you have him in the first place if you don’t want to spend time with him.