James Middleton wrote a book called Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life. It’s about how much he loves his now-deceased dog Ella, and how his dogs have always helped him get through life. He was suicidal at one point, and Ella was the one who came to therapy with him. Ella would accompany him as he visited various palaces and castles, and soon after he adopted Ella, he introduced her to his sister Kate and her then-boyfriend Prince William. While I absolutely believe that James is obsessed with his dogs and they have been enormously therapeutic for him, this book is absolutely an excuse for James to gossip about his sister and the Windsors. I find that tacky as hell, but it’s nothing but crickets from the royalists. The Daily Mail already did a big excerpt from the book, and here’s one part:

It is early in 2010. I still have a toehold in Edinburgh but spend more time in London, where Pippa and Catherine are not too thrilled to have their little brother disrupting their orderly, tidy existence, strewing damp clothes over the bathroom floor, leaving unwashed crockery in the sink and letting Ella pad wet-pawed across the living room carpet. But they bustle round in their kind, sisterly way, clearing up after their messy little brother. Protective, they prefer me to be with them than on my own. They can keep an eye on me, make sure I’m getting up in the morning. And they’re equally glad Ella is with me, because they know she is my prop, my comfort.

By now, William has been dating Catherine for six years, so I know him well. But I remember putting him through his paces when we first met. Did he deserve my sister? He had to earn my trust.

It helped of course that William was so genuinely fond of Ella. When he first encountered her as a tiny puppy at Bucklebury, he was smitten. He’d had a black Labrador, Widgeon, as a boy, and when Widgeon died, he left an empty space. I felt William was pining for a dog when Ella was around.

I know, too, that Ella gave him a good excuse to escape the fiercely competitive nature of the Middleton family, which emerged every time we played our favourite fast-paced card game, Racing Demon.

William would flinch at our ruthless determination to win at all costs. He’d be delighted to be the first out, and when no longer compelled to take part, he’d slink off to cuddle Ella. Better still, he’d absent himself from the game entirely. ‘James, does Ella need a walk?’ he’d ask before we’d even started dealing the cards. My sisters and I would exchange a knowing glance: William, for all the competitive rigour of his military training, was happy to be a loser at cards.

When I finally admit to my parents that I’m not actually studying for my degree any more, they cut off my financial support. Dad is exasperated, Mum tearful. Neither understands why I’d choose to throw up this opportunity to further myself in life. So it’s non-negotiable. No university, no money from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

[From The Daily Mail]

In the excerpts I skimmed, there’s a throughline to James’s life, which is that he’s constantly disappointing his parents. Carole especially seemed to have big plans for her only son. I’m sure Carole wanted James to marry some aristocrat’s daughter, or at least someone well-connected. Instead, Pippa and Kate were the only recipients of Carole’s schemes and social climbing. As for the big reveal that William didn’t like the Middletons’ card games… what’s funny is that James inadvertently contradicts one of the royalists’ little lies, which is that Kate and William love nothing more than board games and card games, and they’re so competitive with one another.

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