The first excerpts from James Middleton’s pseudo-memoir Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life came out last weekend. The Daily Mail published the first excerpts that I saw. It feels notable that the Mail is suddenly not scandalized at all by a memoir written by someone with royal connections, and someone who is explicitly writing about those royal connections. While I haven’t read anything which is “bad” for the Windsors or James’s sister Kate, the whole thing is very tacky. You’d think that there would be outrage, right? Instead, every British outlet is doing the most to act like all of this is totally normal and uncontroversial.
Hilariously, James didn’t give the Mail the sole exclusive for the book’s excerpts. He also gave People Magazine an exclusive look too. As GB News wrote, “Meet Ella by James Middleton is being serialised in People Magazine, an outlet known to have close ties to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.” LMAO. It couldn’t be any more obvious that the Middletons and the Windsors are simply obsessed with America and “winning over” Americans. Anyway, here are some passages of the book published by People:
James adjusts to life in the royal spotlight:
There was no official guidance from the Palace about how we should behave, but William would make useful suggestions. And his constant mantra was, ‘Be careful.’There were times when I got things wrong. I posted a photo of myself wearing a polka-dot dress one Halloween, and someone somewhere got it into their head that it was Catherine’s dress. It wasn’t. It belonged to a friend. No harm was done on that occasion, but I started to be more circumspect about the photos I shared. And I realised how even the most trivial stories assumed disproportionate importance.Bonding with Queen Elizabeth.
All the way up to Norfolk I’d been rehearsing my lines, muttering ‘ Your Majesty’ for the Queen; ‘Your Royal Highness’ for the Duke of Edinburgh. But in my blind panic I blurted: ‘I’m so sorry we’re late, Your Royal Majesty.’ I heard a snort of laughter from William and looked past the Queen to see him sniggering. ‘Oh, how lovely to see you, James,’ she smiled. I’d met her several times, notably at my sister’s wedding, of course, and she was always welcoming. ‘You must be hungry. Make sure you have something to eat,’ she went on serenely as she continued her regal progress out of the room. I blushed fiercely and peered into the drawing room to see the whole family grinning at meJames introduces his newborn son Inigo to his family:
My sisters both have huge grins on their faces. It takes them back to the days when their firstborns were as tiny as their new nephew. ‘Welcome to parenthood,’ they say. We are an affectionate and close-knit family and there are lots of hugs and laughter. Catherine and Pippa bring two big suitcases of hand-me-down clothes, so Inigo’s cupboards are full of sweet little outfits his cousins–even the girls–have worn. We look at them and think, ‘Aren’t they enormous? It’ll be months before he’s wearing these.’ We don’t realise that he will grow so fast he’ll fit them in a blink. We’re deluged with advice from my sisters, but we muddle through in our own way, sometimes getting things right, sometimes wrong.During this first visit to my parents’, I’m keen to show Inigo where Ella lies in the garden with Tilly and Mini. So we wrap him up snugly and I take him to her grave. It is a tender moment–and its poignancy still catches me–because I think back again to how far I have come. My life was once so full of torment I felt suicidal. Only Ella gave me cause to keep living. She brought about this wonderful transition in me, from despair to hope. Today I have a wife and son I adore because of her. I never thought such a transformation could happen in my life–and it is all because of my Ella. I touch the picture of her in my pocket and blink away tears.
Every excerpt I’ve read from this book, I’ve come away feeling really sad for James. He keeps crashing businesses, he was a bad student, he was treated as the family f–kup, and it was like no one in his family thought to get him some academic or therapeutic help until he was well into his late 20s and early 30s. I love animals too and every dog is a good dog, but the framing of this book is still so… strange. That’s all I’ll say.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
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- James Middleton at the GQ Men of the Year Awards, Arrivals, Tate Modern, London, UK,Image: 537047182, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251, Model Release: no, Credit line: James Shaw / Avalon
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- The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, accompanied by other Members of the Royal Family, will attend the Together At Christmas community carol service at Westminster Abbey on Wednesday 8th December. Hosted and spearheaded by The Duchess, and supported by The Royal Foundation, the event will pay tribute to the incredible work of individuals and organisations across the UK who have supported their communities through the COVID-19 pandemic. Filmed for broadcast, the service will provide a moment for the nation to come together and reflect, to think not only of the extraordinary challenges that we have faced, but also to celebrate the acts of kindness that we have witnessed across our nation, the communities pulling together to protect and care for those in need, and those who have stepped up to help others. Combining traditional elements with a modern and inclusive feel to encompass people of all faiths and none, the service will feature carols sung by the world-renowned Westminster Abbey choir alongside musical performances by Leona Lewis and Ellie Goulding. It will also incorporate a performance of To The Day, a poignant composition created for the service by poet and writer Lemn Sissay, and readings delivered by speakers including The Duke of Cambridge, British Paralympian and junior doctor Kim Daybell and Kate Garraway. 8 December 2021,Image: 647072730, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: NO UK USE FOR 48 HOURS- Fee Payable Upon reproduction – For queries contact Avalon sales@Avalon.red London +44 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles +1 310 822 0419 Berlin +49 30 76 212 251 Madrid +34 91 533 42 89, Model Release: no, Credit line: Avalon / Avalon
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- Pippa and James Middleton arriving at Westminster Abbey, central London, ahead of the coronation ceremony of King Charles III and Queen Camilla.,Image: 774175134, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Andrew Milligan / Avalon
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- Pippa Middleton and James Middleton at the Coronation of King Charles III at Westminster Abbey in London, United Kingdom, on 06 May 2023.,Image: 774203465, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: *** NO UK USE FOR 48 HRS ***, Model Release: no, Credit line: James Veysey/Shutterstock / Avalon
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- Pippa Middleton and James Middleton at the Coronation of King Charles III at Westminster Abbey in London, United Kingdom, on 06 May 2023.,Image: 774203484, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: James Veysey/Shutterstock / Avalon
He is not a royal. Even Tom Parker Bowles did not get coverage about his books. Do the Middletons have a special connection to People? This will sit on the shelves. unsold.
People has ties to K&W. They are doing consistent sugary pieces on them, not on Camilla or Charles. So, I am guessing, Camilla didn’t bother to make friends with American reporters.
I can’t imagine a Meghan sibling getting away with this type of 24/7 grift.
And no, I don’t recognise Scammy!🙄🙄
Really, who is going to buy this book? No one in the US, that’s for sure. Can I get a book deal because my cat forced me to learn how to clean carpets?
Literally nobody. And all that stuff about his siblings and you close knit they are feels a bit too sugary. Maybe i am just mean, but i rolled my eyes at this excerpt
Lolol.
Reminds me of the Kardashians episode where Kris , Kim, Kourtney (maybe Khloe) sat in a therapy meeting with Rob and Kris confessed she knew how to market the girls but not him. Maybe same with Carole Middleton…
William is not careful. But he is protected by the media. Big difference.
He was put on the back burner because his parents were focused on their daughters meeting a prince. Then was dumped at an expensive boarding school that failed to recognize his disorder. Shame.
He was going up to girls and in bars and picking them up by saying his sister is going to be queen. No one has loved basking in the privilege bestowed on the Middletons through Kate and William than James
I don’t get this wasn’t this book supposed about his dog and his relationship with her?
No one in the US knows who James is. He is not noteworthy on his own except for failed businesses. If he thinks his book with take off because he’s Kate brother he’s as atupid as their mother Carole, whose attempts for Party Pieces to take off in the States crashed and burned in months. Even Scammy’s self published hit pamphlet on Meghan was a failure to launch. Being related to a royal does not guarantee success for that person; you have to be special in your right in the US.
The 5 American derangers might buy it but no one gives a shit about the royals much less their non royal siblings.
Would be cool if American media dug into his Nazi marshmallow past. It wouldn’t play the same way and be brushed aside.
That does sound kind of sad, and I can relate: my cats have given me a lot more support than my family has.
Royal adjacent gotta make that money! But never an actual royal like Harry. Unbelievable.
Pity his sister couldn’t have any kindness towards another nephew and instead ignored him at a polo match. As for the rest of it, sigh. The guy really likes his dog, which I’m not mad at. Sounds like he felt more unconditional love from his dog than just about anyone else in his life at that point. But I mean it’s a book about his dog but also heavily sprinkled with some famous names so it will sell.
“Sounds like he felt more unconditional love from his dog than just about anyone else in his life at that point. ”
This is my interpretation, which is sad. I feel like it took a decade or more for his family to recognize his depression, etc. The family focus certainly seemed to be on Kate once she connected with Wiliam, and then Pippa in the hopes she would land a wealthy aristocrat as well. James seemed to be left to flounder.
I have had dogs my entire life and I have adored every one of them, so I get his feelings of loss and grief to a large extent. and I know my dogs have been emotional support animals at times (not the kind I take in the airport though lol.) So I get that too.
But these excerpts make him seem like a lonely person who was always the least important person in his family.
Name dropping of famous people does not sell books. It’s not as if james is a celebitchy in his own right. I hope james does not go to the reality show route.
He didn’t have the help of a ghost writer, he?
He almost certainly did. Not all of them are as good as Harry’s.
You really think so? If he did, yikes.
I have no interest in this book, especially after seeing some of the excerpts.. just another waste of trees.
The framing is an excuse. He basically writes about his life and the royals and tacks on a reflection about his dog at the end. See how he says “we’re an affectionate family” it’s basically a rebuttal against the Harry and Meghan claims.
But Harry and Meghan have never spoken about the Middletons and Kate has all her supporters in the press to speak on her behalf.
Amen. It’s Catherine and William reputation management. That’s what he got to write it. He slates his own parents while cozying up to them. Let’s not forget sending Richard Eden the dogfood and his cozy relationship with the Daily Mail. He is leaking to the Mail. James wants to be famous.
All of these quotes from William and his sisters constitute “leaking” to me. Isn’t that a mortal sin in William and Charles world!? No one repeats family conversations yet here he is and getting paid for spilling the beans. Katie Keen the Welfare Queen must be grasping her arm chair . The horror.
The dress incident was very early on, like 2011. He spent the next 8 years dating soap opera stars, giving interviews, strutting around like the cock of the walk and talking himself up. He has delusions of grandeur and his mental health issues don’t negate being an ass.
Why wasn’t this book titled *Me and the Royals*?
I wonder if QEII knew that she was Nazi Boomf’s new BFF.
Good to see too that CatherinenotKate isn’t the only self-centered and grifting Middletonedeaf besides CarolE.
I can’t help but think if he got a cowriter/ghost writer and wrote this along the lines of Marley & Me – this would be an endearing story and fairly successful. But adding stories about BRF completely turns me off.
Ugh, another article about this guy. Not a good look at all, James Middleton really needs to get a job or something, not make money out of his connections to the royal family. American here, and garbage stuff like these regularly gets printed out and put on front cover stories of tabloid magazines that you’d normally see lined up for sale while you queue up to check out your groceries at the store. It’s rather telling that ANOTHER Middleton is out there writing tell-alls and/or memoirs about their vapid lifestyles. Maybe instead of clutching their pearls at the thought of Meghan Markle possibly writing a memoir in the future, the monarchy handlers should be more worried about the Middletons’ penchant for talking to the media. That family can’t help oversharing details about themselves. It’s bad enough that the majority of us here in the States think of the British monarchy as bonafide public aid celebrities, but the Middletons always self-inserting themselves in the media narrative by virtue of being royal-adjacent is just tasteless at this point.
Given what I know of narcissistic parents James was the ‘fk up’ child, the one that got picked on by the narc parent (in this case Carole). Kate was the golden child and Pippa the ignored middle child.
Saying all that, he more than the others dined out on the family royal connections – he was def quite the playboy around town who tried to big himself into some sort of aristo but that set blew him off. Its a good thing that he got the therapy that he clearly needed and I know that therapy dogs do great work with their owners but it does seem that the dog became some sort of emotional replacement for something else that he felt he missed out on such as a motherly/female figure type love. These excerpts also ask the question – where was Mike and was he really an active parent? These are a few of my takes from what I’ve read so far and no, I won’t be buying the book.
This tracks with what I always suspected their toxic family system is – Carole the raging narcissist, Michael the enabler, Pippa the golden child, Kate the co dependant and James the black sheep. They are text book.
Yep! That tracks pretty much exactly. Pippa was the golden child growing up, and apparently everyone thought she was going to be the one to make the fabulous aristocratic match, and Carole pushed her to live with heirs to Dukedoms at uni.
Kate was and still is incredibly co-dependent on her mom, and this new book (well, the excerpts) just make me so sad for James and how he didn’t live up to his mother’s expectations, so he was treated differently.
I agree with a poster above who said that Ella almost seems to be a replacement for something that James was missing in his life – like the love of a mother perhaps.
The excerpts portray Mike as the judgmental parent, not Carole. Carole gets the “my poor mum” treatment.
@blujfly the role of the enabler is solely to not hold the narcissist accountable – they definitely judge the black sheep, especially when the narcissistic mother presents as “poor mum”
There’s an accompanying interview where he drops the telltale Middleton talking points lie about the wedding – that it “felt just like a family wedding” and not a “royal wedding.” They have been repeating that line for over a decade now. Coached beyond belief.
Is this James M book a non-fiction or fan-fiction? I mean no one can/will fact-check things he wrote in the book. Met QE2 several times did not good friends make. Hack, Harry had to jump the hoop to meet his grandmother! James pretty much could wrote whatever he fancied.
Their obsession with winning over America(the US) has been hilarious.
I don’t even think K or her siblings have even visited the US before she became part of the BRF.
Now they really want our attention 😄
Is anyone else reminded of Harry’s description of taking Meghan to visit Diana’s grave? Anyway, both scenes are very sad. In both cases, neither had family members help them cope with their grief or depression. James was lucky he had his dog. I’m not sure Inigo is of the age to understand what is going on. It seems a bit contradictory after what appears to be a narrative of family and parental neglect, to conclude that they are a close knit family. I’m not planning to read his book, but I hope he mentions his wife and the mother of his child somewhere in there.
It won’t sell like every single enemy of Meghan has discovered. Ask Whoopi. Attack Meghan, write a book, watch it flop hard!
James, if you or your people read this blog, get yourself evaluated for ADHD.