Martha Stewart is a busy October witch while promoting her upcoming Netflix documentary, Martha. For someone who’s claimed she doesn’t even like the film, she sure is hustling for it! (Methinks she likes it, and the attention, more than she’s letting on.) What’s funny to me is that the particular bit she said she was displeased with — delving into her conviction and prison sentence for insider trading — is not the part people have been talking about since the trailer dropped. I think we all took it for granted that her prison stint would be included. But what’s really blown up is the moment where she tries to lambast all cheating husbands, and is immediately checked by the off-camera producer over the fact that Martha cheated on her own husband. But it was early in the marriage and he never knew! That was her justification, lol. So she really laid the groundwork for Andy Cohen to ask her, when she appeared on Watch What Happens Live recently, if she’d consider being on The Golden Bachelorette. That would not be a good thing, according to Martha.
During a recent appearance with her friend and all-around cool guy Snoop Dogg on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen,” the topic of the ABC series “The Golden Bachelorette” came up and whether Stewart would be willing to participate.
“Absolutely not,” Stewart said.
When host Cohen asks if money — say $1 million or $10 million dollars — might entice her to allow a group of older gentlemen to vie for her heart, the domestic doyenne said “the guys aren’t hot enough.”
That struck Snoop as pretty funny.
“So it ain’t about the money, it’s about how hot the guys are,” he said. “She said, $10 million can’t get it if he don’t look right.”
The subject of her love life is not a new one for Stewart.
In 2022, while playing a game with Drew Barrymore on her daytime talk show, Stewart was asked to wave flags to a series of dating questions — green for yes, red for no and yellow for being on the fence.
Asked if she would date a man with as many tattoos as “SNL” alum Pete Davidson, Stewart waved the green flag.
But what about dating Davidson himself? Green flag as well.
Barrymore then pointed out that “there’s a thing on the internet” where people have expressed their hope that Stewart, 81, would go out with Davidson, 28.
“He’s dated so many women,” Stewart said. “I’m not saying that’s bad. I think that’s good. And he’s sort of cute.”
Stewart was married to Andrew “Andy” Stewart from 1961 to 1990, with whom she shares a daughter.
In the trailer for her new Netflix documentary she had some advice for young women in that “if you’re married and your husband cheats on you, he’s a piece of s**t. Get out of that marriage.”
When the interviewer asked “Did you have an affair early on?” Stewart responded, “Yeah, but I don’t think Andy ever knew that.”
Martha Stewart would be such a hilariously bad choice to be a Golden Bachelorette, that I actually think I would tune in. She’s too decisive and dismissive, they could never fill a whole season of “I really think I see a future with Tom but also Dick and also Harry.” It would be “He’s out, he’s out, he’s out, he’s out.” So no, Martha won’t be signing up to star on the dating competition show. She’d prefer for her friends to die so she can pick a husband among the widowers.
Meanwhile, the countdown is on — only five days left until Martha premieres! I’m trying to plan out the perfect spread to enjoy while watching, a la the homecraft maven herself. Obviously I’m thinking chobster (chicken stuffed with lobster), but I’d like to break it down into more of a bite-size hors d’oeuvre situation, as opposed to the grand entree she dined on in March. The trick will be to still maintain the suggestion of sexual tension between poultry and crustacean, as Martha vividly captured on her Instagram. Since it’s a school night, I’ll probably stick with seltzer instead of a real cocktail, but naturally I will chill it with shavings of North Atlantic iceberg. Dessert I plan on procuring earlier in the day by careening into Barefoot Contessa and declaring, “I need lemon squares!” And of course, I will be wearing a bathing suit, just in case I have the urge to swim after viewing. Stay crafty, bitches!
photos credit: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Netflix and via Instagram/WWHL
I wouldn’t trust her judgment because she once gushed over brad pitt’s beauty and sex appeal, so she probably has image processing issues.
I mean… almost everyone did? Until we found out how ugly he is on the inside, obv
Not me…
Great. Cookie for you. My point still stands
Lady b.b. thanks for the cookie. she was gushing about him not so long ago. and about the current pitt, the one after all those “dental procedures” and lawsuits filed in the courts. so that says even worse about her.
Lol, I’m waiting for “Martha,” too!
I don’t drink, so I’d make a Rosemary-Grapefruit Mocktail – a tbsp of rosemary simple syrup, 2 tbsp of grapefruit juice and the rest club soda and ice. And I’d make my own lemon squares, which are much better than Ina’s. (Well, I think they’re better because they have a crumb topping – I hate wet lemon squares).
I’m glad she’s got all her marbles at 81 and is enjoying life but let’s be real. Martha is a little delusional about her own hotness and if these guys might even want to date her. I was watching a recent interview with her and her mouth and facial features are so jacked she looks like she has had a stroke when she speaks.