Buckingham Palace has declared the Australia & Samoa tour a galloping success. King Charles and Queen Camilla left Samoa on Saturday, after “ten days” abroad (including travel). Charles looked worse for wear throughout the entire tour, and Camilla was a complete embarrassment, but the palace is being very heavy-handed with how they’re trying to manipulate the narrative. If I’m being generous, I would say that their tour was successful in the sense that most people were ambivalent towards them. But really, the enduring moment of the tour was Lidia Thorpe’s protest in the middle of Australia’s Parliament. That was probably the only thing casual observers will remember. But to hear the courtiers tell it, Charles and Camilla are planning to travel widely next year, full steam ahead. Hm. Some highlights from the Times:

Charles thrives when he’s working: Charles, 75, who paused his treatment during his visit to Australia and Samoa last week, will restart his traditional diary of spring and autumn foreign tours in the new year, with aides saying he has “thrived” by working throughout his illness. A senior palace official said of the 11-day trip, during which the King undertook up to eight engagements a day: “It is a great measure of the way that the King is dealing with the diagnosis. He’s a great believer in mind, body and soul. The doctor is here to make sure that his body is properly looked after. [The trip] has lifted his spirits, his mood and his recovery. In that sense, the tour — despite its demands — has been the perfect tonic.”

Charles wants more tours, with Camilla by his side: Buckingham Palace is now liaising with the government on which tours Charles and Camilla will undertake next year. It is understood the plans are subject to sign-off by Charles’s medical team. Aides say that Camilla’s influence has been vital to Charles’s recovery and return to full-time official duties, both at home and overseas, with the Queen occasionally advising him to ease his busy schedule. “The King gets great strength from the Queen being there, not least because she keeps it real.”

A short rest: Charles will take a short rest period before resuming a full diary of engagements in the run-up to Christmas. A senior palace official said: “It’s great testament to the King’s devotion to service and duty that he was prepared to come this far and he was incredibly happy and very determined to do so. We’re now working on a pretty normal-looking, full overseas tour programme for next year, which is a high for us to end [this trip] on, to know that we can be thinking in those terms.”

On Lidia Thorpe’s protest: In Parliament House in Canberra, Charles was confronted by Lidia Thorpe, a senator from Victoria of Aboriginal descent, who heckled the King and accused him of “genocide” against “our people”. She shouted: “This is not your land, you are not my King. F*** the colony.” The outburst threatened to overshadow the trip, but sources close to the King said he was “completely unruffled” by the incident despite the subsequent controversy. “He’s been around for a long time. As always, he kept calm, carried on. He believes free speech is the cornerstone of democracy, and so everyone is entitled to their views.”

Charm offensives: As Charles and Camilla eye up their next foreign charm offensives, those close to them say that their eagerness to ramp up their overseas travel is, in part, a desire to establish a global legacy of the Carolean reign. A palace aide said: “The idea of these tours always is to leave a trace behind.”

[From The Times]

“The King gets great strength from the Queen being there, not least because she keeps it real.” Charles prefers having Camilla there because she’s half in the bag and she behaves like a horse’s ass. Charles thinks Camilla’s appallingly rude and racist behavior makes him look better by comparison, and hey, there’s no way she’ll ever overshadow him. What he doesn’t seem to get is that once people see and interact with Camilla, everyone thinks that Charles is the worst for blowing up his marriage to Diana for his neighing side-chick. As for all of the breathless pronouncements about Charles’s big plans to travel more next year… I seriously doubt it. I doubt the government will request him to travel as well. “The idea of these tours always is to leave a trace behind.” Maybe try apologizing for all of the colonialism you left behind when you stole all of these countries’ jewels, artwork and resources?

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.