For the third time in four years, people are trying to say that Prince William “won” a sexiest bald man competition. The first time was in 2021, and it was based on Google searches and sponsored by a cosmetic surgery group. The second time Huevo was named the sexiest bald man, it was last year and it was also based on flawed methodology, as they tried to argue that people were constantly google-searching “William bald sexy shirtless handsome.” While I don’t doubt that William employs a full-time intern (perhaps some wiglet-wearing gopher???) to spend eight hours a day rigging the Google results, I still fail to understand how Mark Strong, Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson aren’t winning every sexy bald man contest out there.
Prince William has been named the world’s sexiest bald man for two consecutive years, after the royal recently debuted a more rugged look that left fans gushing over his facial hair. A new study placed the Prince of Wales, 42, ahead of contenders such as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Stanley Tucci, Thierry Henry, and Vin Diesel – as the future King of Britain retained his crown as the hottest man without hair in 2024.
The study ranked some of the world’s most famous bald men based on different factors including how shiny their heads are, their facial golden ratio, height, and smile – and William earned a near-perfect score.
The research compiled by PR agency Reboot Online also tracked media perception and ‘sexy’ global search interest, with William’s recent appearances in South Africa for the Earthshot initiative likely to have sent fan queries about him soaring.
This isn’t William’s first time being recognised as the world’s dishiest bald man; after securing the top spot in 2021, he slipped to second place in 2022, before reclaiming his title in 2023. This year, he scored an impressive 9.9 out of a possible total of 10 points based on the shininess of his scalp, his smile and facial proportions.
Right behind William, Hollywood superstar Dwayne Johnson climbed to the second spot – after being placed seventh on 2023’s list, with a score of 8.9 out of 10. American basketball star Shaquille O’Neal broke into the top three, after he was ranked as the ninth best-looking bald man in 2023. Professional surfer Kelly Slater, who was recently spotted catching waves with Prince Harry in California, came in at the fourth position – earning high scores for his golden ratio, the sheen of his scalp, and smile. Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews and 79-year-old Taxi star Danny DeVito ranked fifth and sixth respectively, with Samuel L Jackson, former Arsenal superstar Henry, and The Hunger Games actor Tucci rounding out the list. Vin Diesel dropped to the last place, after earning the top spot in 2022 – notably beating William that year.
Rigged! Jason Statham didn’t even make the top ten?? Ridiculous. Anyway, my annual reminder – I have nothing against bald men, bald men can be great-looking. But William looks like the wrath of god. Especially this year – he looks like he crawled out of a bottle, and his facial hair has given him a scuzzy, druggy look. Also: it’s hilarious that the Mail released this rigged survey just hours before People Magazine announced their Sexiest Man Alive.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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- Britain’s Prince William, Prince of Wales, sporting a beard, speaks with serving graduats following the Sovereign’s Parade at the Royal Air Force (RAF) College in Cranwell, near Sleaford, eastern England, on September 12, 2024. Cadets have undergone up to 24 weeks of intensive training, which prepares them with the skills and knowledge required to set the foundations for a successful career in the RAF.,Image: 907014653, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: *** NO UK USE FOR 48 HRS ***, Model Release: no, Credit line: OLI SCARFF / Avalon
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- Britain’s Prince William attends the Centrepoint Awards, in London, Britain October 16, 2024.,Image: 922011910, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: *** NO UK USE FOR 48 HRS ***, Model Release: no, Credit line: Hollie Adams / Avalon
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- The Prince of Wales, known as the Duke of Cornwall when in Cornwall, during a visit to Fistrall Beach in Newquay, to meet local organisations who are working to promote safety in the sea and across the beach area Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Newquay, United Kingdom When: 09 May 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales during an event co-hosted by Bafta and the Royal African Society, at Bafta, in Piccadilly, London, to celebrate young creatives and showcase the importance of supporting young people in the film, games and television industries Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: London, United Kingdom When: 09 Oct 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales speaks to participants as he attends a community event hosted by the NFL Foundation UK in London. The organisation focuses on tackling challenges faced by young people in some of the most deprived communities across the UK, through the provision of NFL Flag, a fast paced, inclusive and easy to access American Football format. Picture date: Tuesday October 15, 2024. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: London, United Kingdom When: 15 Oct 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales throws a football as he attends a community event hosted by NFL Foundation UK in London. The organisation focuses on tackling challenges faced by young people in some of the most deprived communities across the UK, through the provision of NFL Flag, a fast paced, inclusive and easy to access American Football format. Picture date: Tuesday October 15, 2024. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: London, United Kingdom When: 15 Oct 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales attends Earthshot+, at Portside Tower in Cape Town, a day of impactful conversations with world-leading experts aimed at multiplying the impact of The Earthshot Prize, on day two of his visit to South Africa for the fourth annual Earthshot Prize Awards ceremony on November 6 Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Cape Town, South Africa When: 05 Nov 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales during a visit to meet with volunteers of the National Seas Rescue Institute (NSRI) at Simon’s Town Harbour, Cape Town, to hear about their lifesaving work, on the last day of his visit to South Africa. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Cape Town, South Africa When: 07 Nov 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Prince of Wales during his visit to the Seaweed Innovator Showcase at Portside Tower, Cape Town, to meet seaweed businesses from the region to celebrate local innovation, learn about the diverse applications of seaweed in Africa and the potential for it to repair and regenerate the planet, on the last day of his visit to South Africa Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Cape Town, South Africa When: 07 Nov 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
So based on facial proportions as decided based on what exactly? Doesn’t make him the sexiest since that also involves personality, facial expressions and charisma. I can believe that people google his name and the word bald.
Am I crazy or did he not start the beard after hanging out with Prince Hakkan of Norway at some sporting event last summer…he and Kate both copying sexier people if you know what I mean.
Hard (Boiled Egg ) Pass
William must be so embarrassed 🤣🤣🤣 I wouldn’t even use sexy and William in the same sentence 🤣🤣🤣
Right? This poll reeks of eau de Sure Jan.
Not even Sexist Bald Slumlord alive.
HA!!!
Bingo!
You nailed it. Baldy slumlord is not sexy period. Somewhere there must be a top 10 list of useless and ugly people if there isn’t then let’s start one.
Quite obvious this man has zero shame. If he hadmany shame he would ask folks to stop embarrassing him in this manner. Handsome? No!
Seriously, how does he ever show his face? This is so embarrassing, I want to crawl into a hole. William has to cut this out, he’s already the least kingly man imaginable. How can anyone in the U.K. stand this??
It is so sad.
Stop. Stopppp. It’s just f–king embarrassing.
+1 @miranda how incredibly embarrassing and tragique that you are the heir to a fortune of stolen billions you have a direct staff of almost 100 with over a thousand employed by the royal family, and you hire this london-based digital marketing firm to do this for you.
Complete and utter desperation.
Considering the fact that William comes from German stock, he should be familiar with the notion of secondhand embarrassment or “fremdschamen.” But I, for one, hope that he remains clueless of how desperate he seems because I enjoy periodic evidence of his insecurity. Also, I hope he never shaves that hairy cry-for-attention he calls a beard.
I haven’t laughed this hard in a while
There’s no version of this universe in which Willy is sexier than Thierry Henry. Have they looked at him? He literally looks like a hamster in most pictures???!
Hamsters are actually cute. William looks like an egg with rabbit teeth. Facial structure? Shouldn’t they be symmetrical to be recognized as “beautiful/handsome”.
Bruce Willis is a very handsome bald man. William? So Not. He has nice eyes in the picture above. But even if he were remotely handsome his aggressive impression makes him look scary. And don’t get me started on his scruffy beard.
Putting Thierry Henry in eighth is criminal and clearly it’s just William paying for this poll. Soon his comb-over will be too visible for him to be eligible.
He looks deranged and occasionally homeless.
He’s failing to do anything successfully. And instead of plugging along at basic royal stuff – he just keeps up these elaborate lies and poorly laid plans and media strategy that makes no sense.
It seems exhausting.
Okay, the funniest part is when they say that William’s recent appearance for Earthshot must have sent fan queries soaring.
I mean we are living in the worst timeline so this makes perfect sense. This is what the world would be like if Jason Statham didn’t exist so I can only assume he died years ago and was replaced with a look a like or robot that doesn’t have the sexy pheromones of the original. People talk about avril lavigne, but if Jason Statham was alive, he’d be top 5 on any sexy bald man lists. So…
LMAO!! This is it. We are living in the worst timeline, that is the only way this makes sense.
Charlotte cries over the beard stubble
Who gushed over it
WTF stop embarassing yourself with staff doing stupid searches to rig the google data. Shave all of that off. You look better without the beard, trust me.
His smile?
His smile gives me nightmares
*shudders*
I also cringed when I saw that smile was a factor. He has a tiny hole in his surrounded by huge clenched jaws and has what looks like deadly weapons trying to escape. He literally had a terrifying mouth.
He’s really flailing with the spotlight being on him. Too many years in the BM ecosystem with the shine of his grandparents and the ability to hide his laziness behind the work of his father, brother, and aunt and uncles, kept him insulated as the young handsome family man prince. All that’s gone now and people are really starting to see there’s no there, there. Explains why only the BM is obsessed with the idea of Harry being forced back to the UK, I think William hopes for it too. Doesn’t have to apologize or change and someone is there to take the heat off him. He doesn’t even have Kate to occasionally throw under the bus anymore.
This!
100%
The amount of cover Harry provided is shocking. There is no hiding it, he really was meant to be the court jester.
Nope, just no.
Except for those of us who follow royal happenings, and the people who live on that island, no one even knows about this ridiculous survey. It such a pathetic ploy for attention. Anyone else with any self respect would shy away from this kind of sad self promise.
Was this survey done in conjunction with Earthshot?
The survey probably asked “Who is the sexiest bald man who will announce the Earthshit winner?” Amazingly, the answer given by thousands of bots was Willy the Silly. Silly, not sexy.
Have to agree with just about everyone… he needs to stop, it’s embarrassing.
First clue it’s absolutely bogus. The use of “study”. No one “studies” the sexiest man. People mag would choke on that. The “study” probably would have given us Jonathan Bailey instead of John Krasinski if that was the case.
So William has bought himself another award. I almost choked on breakfast at this part:
“The study ranked some of the world’s most famous bald men based on different factors including how shiny their heads are, their facial golden ratio, height, and smile – and William earned a near-perfect score.”
Shiny head? What is a facial golden ratio? And how TF did Peg get points for his creepy smile? (aside to Kaiser – it’s been a while since you posted that snaggletooth picture of him looking to the side – that one is a classic)
A valiant attempt, but this will not take away the sting of Harry being named on Time’s Climate 100 list, just on the heels of Eggshot. AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Not to mention, he doesn’t even have a “shiny” head – he’s still clinging on for dear life to those wispy Homer Simpson hairs and retreating sideburns.
The emperor has no clothes.
Prince Pathetic
Danny DeVito is a funny guy, but how did he make it to 6th on the list when one of the criteria is height?
But congrats on your accomplishment, future king William – you’re sexier than a 4′ 10″ soon-to-be octogenarian.
I actually think this is not about Harry being named to the Climate 100 list, but another made-up magazine title that came out today – People’s Sexiest Man Alive. The Wales have been cozying up to People for years, so it’s not a stretch for me that TOB may have thought he had a shot at being the SMA. His people have been hard selling the “sexy” angle for awhile, albeit poorly (hip waders, anyone?).
From the People point of view, he’s exactly what they want – bland, middle-aged white guy that their audience knows, non-threatening, and willing to give an interview (which he could have used to promote Earthshot or his doomed documentary). Honestly, I think the only point not in his favour is that it might be considered in poor taste given that his wife has famously been sick and out of the public eye. We may laugh, but I think he has a real shot next year…
Him on any list that says “sexiest” is laughable.
“Shininess” of his head?!? That is a metric, like “yellowness of his teeth”
No one finds that sexy
No one!
I don’t personally find John Krazinski sexy, but I will say that People did a much better job with their choice than whoever is behind this latest disaster. Someone has egg on their face.
I feel like screaming that while the two often go together, sexy and golden ratios are not the same thing.
Judged on his smile? He doesn’t smile. He pulls his lips back and bares his teeth, thinking it doesn’t come off as a cross between a grimace and a snarl. It’s not sexy or remotely attractive.
What? You don’t find giant, yellow gopher teeth attractive or sexy? Me neither.
Prince William is about as sexy as cold margarine.
Grasping at non-existent straws…. El es feo, ni feito… puro feo
School run dad? Global statesman? Snuggly husband? Sexiest yellowed teeth pasty faced baldy bloke? Trying to make fetch happen!
God bless him. And, may I add that, no photo collage of William is complete without the one of him in orange plastic overalls in that clam factory, oy. That was the only thing which made his trip to New York worthwhile.
Handsome….not!
Handsome…..not!
Comments on the daily fail site are filled with people mocking this clearly staged vote to stroke Williams ego 🙄
This was done by a PR firm so perhaps it’s one of those proof of concept results. They’re telling potential clients they can manufacture whatever image they want.
Is William not embarrassed by this? I think this is humiliating. Where’s the dignity for a future king. If someone needs to be embiggened with nothing concrete to go on, then should people not realize that the subject is not worthy?
That’s my major takeaway: Charles and William are absolutely undignified in a way that surprises me. They are thirsty, petty, insecure. And they don’t mind showing it. How strange.
Prince Harry:
Legend of Aviation
25th sexiest man of all time
Time 100 Titan of Climate Change
Willy Wonka
Sexiest Bald man ( really, I am!)
Slumlord
Laziest Baffoon
No. Just no. None of the men in this family are attractive. Not a one. They received the bad side of the genes.
Well on the plus side this has given me a much needed giggle (including the comments, you are comedy gold CB comment team!) and got me thinking about some actually sexy bald men. Time to go and find a Jason Statham film to watch I guess.
I think theyre so un self aware they don’t realize their externalizing their deepest darkest insecurities to the PLANET. Like they think peons reading this stuff aren’t humans with brains just like them. Judging them HARD. its like the they think the newspapers in the uk are their bathroom mirror who they talk to in the morning, or their personal journals or their emotional support (insert: animal, person, whatever.)
He’d actually look better if he shaved it either off entirely or as short as possible. The current wispy friar tuck ‘do he’s sporting is not a good look at all.
During the remembrance wreath laying there was a shot of William from the back and his hair looked strangely patchy at the back. Maybe it was just the light but it made me think of that guy on 90 Day Fiancé with the wonky balding hair (Gino?) who used to refuse to ever take his hat off…
Prince Albert out-sexys’ this misshapen egg.