Yikes. These are photos of Lindsay Lohan leaving a club last night. She’s been partying all weekend, attending Grammy parties, maybe hooking up with Joaquin Phoenix, and, obviously, not doing drugs, right? Totally rough. Meanwhile, The New York Post tried to approximate what Lindsay making for her first public escort gig. The Post estimated Lindsay will get $150,000 for her date with the 77-year-old eccentric billionaire Richard Lugner. But guess what’s funny? Lindsay wasn’t his first choice! Lindsay only got picked after Katie “Jordan” Price had to be turned away for blabbing. Can you believe Lohan is the second choice after Katie Price? Unthinkable. Yet hilarious.

For 19 years, oddball Austrian billionaire Richard Lugner has paid for nights with beautiful B-list bombshells. He pays them about $150,000 and, in exchange, they sign autographs at one of his shopping malls and then accompany him to Austria’s premier social event, the Vienna Opera Ball.

The 77-year-old, four-times-divorced father of three gets a kick out of the attention — and sometimes outrage — that his buxom rent-a-dates stir up. Over the years, he has squired Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, actresses Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch and Andie MacDowell, and burlesque performer Dita Von Teese.

But none have been so demanding as this year’s date — Lindsay Lohan. Lohan, dubbed “the fallen Disney princess” by the Austrian media, accepted Lugner’s offer after his first choice, pneumatic British reality-TV star Jordan (a k a Katie Price), stole his thunder by announcing her selection to the tabloids before he could.

But Lohan had some issues.

“She wanted to change some of the dates,” Lugner told The Post. Alas, the ultraposh Opera Ball, started in 1936, “can’t be moved.”

Then Lohan, 23, refused to pick a gown ahead of time and will wait until just before the Feb. 11 ball to pick “a European gown.” Lugner won’t comment on whether he’s picking up the tab for that. Finally, her handlers called. No champagne. No open bar. No alcohol of any kind must be allowed within Lindsay’s sight.

“Her managers have told us to make sure that she doesn’t drink during her trip,” Lugner said. “We have made arrangements to pull all the liquor from the mini-bar in the hotel room where she’ll stay, and told room service they are not to deliver drinks to her.”

To make sure Lohan will be on her best behavior as 2,000 haute Viennese waltz the night away, “we will be drinking only mineral water that night to avoid any problems.”

Maybe Lugner should have gone with his other finalist, Lady Gaga. More rubber, less trouble.

As part of the shillings-but-no-schnapps deal, Lohan will attend a press conference with Lugner the day before the ball. She’ll also sign autographs for a few hours in his massive mall, known as Lugner City. She’ll go to the dance with Lugner, his current 20-year-old girlfriend, Anastasia Sokol, his 16-year-old daughter, Jacqueline, and the teen’s 25-year-old boyfriend, Helmut Werner.

“My daughter is the one who chose Lindsay, and she has picked for me in the last three years because she’s more in touch with who’s in the newspapers. Me, I’m a businessman, so I don’t know these things,” Lugner said.

Lugner, who reportedly once got his eyelids Botoxed so he could look more like George Clooney, is infamous in Austria for creating a media circus at the ball with his paid escorts — especially when his guest is willing to take a turn on the crowded dance floor during the celebrated “Alles Walzer.”

“Sometimes with my guest, dancing is impossible, because so many journalists want to talk to them,” the Austrian said. “I recall, though, that Faye Dunaway and Grace Jones were great dancers. I was able to dance with them.”

Von Teese, who accompanied Lugner in 2008, said Lohan should demand extra bodyguards.

“I was trampled in a mob scene by the press. It was very frightening and also unfortunate that I couldn’t actually enjoy the beauty of the music and the dancing,” Von Teese told The Post. “I’m quite good at these partner dances, and it made me sad that I wasn’t able to be on that beautiful dance floor.”

[From The New York Post]

Haha, Lindsay wanted to change the date of the Vienna Opera. Good luck, crackhead. Yeah, this guy really should have gone with Gaga. She would have killed it on a fake date. Speaking of Gaga, remember those Grammy parties? Well, somebody got the bright idea that Lindsay needs to start up her music career again – I guess in addition to all of the fictitious “work” she’s doing on her multiple television shows, films, and design projects. So, this music producer named Rodney Jerkins wants to pair up Lohan and… Lady Gaga. For the love of…

Producer Rodney Jerkins seems to believe that Lindsay Lohan would be ideal to join Lady Gaga in the studio for a collaboration effort.

Jerkins said, “I can pair them up. I would love it. I would love to see what could happen.”

Either with or without Gaga, Jerkins believes Lohan can pull it off. He said, “If she stays focused, I think she has what it takes. I’ve talked to her, and I said, ‘You’ve got what it takes. I really believe in you.’”

He obviously really thinks LiLo has something. He added, “I’ve seen a lot of people questioning actresses who have wanted to become pop stars, and they don’t have it. I believe she has it, something deep down. I’ve listened to her in the past, and I think there’s something there. It just needs to be pulled out.”

[From Earsucker]

Ugh. It won’t happen, right? I mean, Gaga is performance art and she’s Warhol-esque in her pop culture references, so I could see how she might want to have a loose association with Lindsay Lohan, just for the kitsch value. But actually making an album together? Nooooo!!

Lindsay Lohan leaving Teddy’s in LA on February 2, 2010. Gaga at the Grammys on January 31, 2010. Credit: WENN