Babygirl came out on Christmas Day, which usually never happens. Christmas Day releases are saved for major studio movies, not art-house films where Nicole Kidman is having a kinky affair with a much-younger man. Babygirl was written and directed by Halina Reijn, a 49-year-old Dutch actress and filmmaker. Reijn previously directed Bodies Bodies Bodies, a new “Gen Z” classic of sorts. Reijn recently chatted with W Magazine about what she’s learned from Gen Z, what she thinks of May-December romances and more. Some highlights:

The milk scene happened to Reijn in real life: The milk scene happened to her after one such theater performance in her 30s, when she went to a local bar to burn off her post-show adrenaline. A famous Belgian actor, “way, way younger” than her, sent her a glass of milk from across the bar. “I drank it, and he just walked out,” she tells W. “I thought, ‘How does this guy get the courage?’ I did think it was a very sensual thing to do. And I thought it was very funny.’”

‘Babygirl’ is a warning: “My movie is a warning. What happens if you say, ‘No, I am perfect. I don’t have any blemishes on my soul. I’m not even aging—I look fertile even though I’m 55’? I wanted to tell the story of a woman who suppresses the beast inside her—and then it wakes up.”

The age gap dynamic of an older woman & younger man: “If we see a movie where the male actor is the same age as the female actor, we find that odd. Which is insane. It should completely be normalized that the age gaps switch and that women have different relationships. We’re not trapped in a box anymore. We internalize the male gaze, we internalize patriarchy, and we need to free ourselves from it. It’s really hard.

She hired an intimacy coordinator for the film: “Because I was an actress, safety is my first priority at all times. I’ve experienced a lot of male directors sitting in a North Face jacket on a high chair while you’re crawling around on the floor. I’ve always felt very unsafe and just embarrassed, to be honest with you. I felt like an open wound. You can’t do a fight without a stunt coordinator. Your actors will get hurt, and it will look lame on camera. It’s the same with sex scenes. It’s very, very useful to have someone who knows all the little tricks and makes everyone feel safe. Within the structure of a choreographed plan, the actors can let go and be totally free. Funny enough, the days with intimacy scenes are often the most clear. There are still nerves, but everybody comes to set super prepared. I wanted those scenes to feel incredibly hot and steamy and fun, but I also wanted them to be real. Sexuality is stop-and-go. It’s never like a glamour scene from a Hollywood movie in the ’90s. That’s just not how it works.

How Gen Zers are prudes about seeing sex portrayed on screen: “Since Bodies, I’ve been obsessed with younger generations. I used to think of myself as a hardcore feminist, but once I met these young actors, I learned so much more about what it means to be equal, to have body positivity, sex positivity, kink positivity, all those things. But, they all grew up with this device in their hand, with access to every single thing. I totally understand this reaction of, “With one press of my finger, I can see everything. Now I don’t want to see anything.” I’m not afraid of what they’re saying. I agree with it, in a way. Sex isn’t about two bodies banging up against each other. That’s why Babygirl circles around it. There are only two quick flashes of sex acts in my movie. The rest—it might be shocking! I find it shocking, too, to go stand in a corner or eat this candy out of my hand. But it’s about the story, the imagination.

The human connection: “It’s important for young people to keep shining light on sexuality and anything primal, though. There’s a danger in saying, “It’s ugly. I don’t want to smell anything. I don’t want any body fluids.” We survive on human contact. The more we sit on our devices, the more depression, the more suicide. We have a task as a society to keep connecting to each other, physically and mentally.

[From W Magazine]

The Puriteen phenomenon is so wild to me, still – and now the Puriteens are in their 20s and still adverse to seeing sexuality or sex portrayed on screen. I think it’s like Reijn says, the younger people had access to such a wide variety of messages, images and videos from such a young age, and they’re rejecting the highly sexualized culture previous generations have just accepted or gotten used to. As for the May-December romance stuff… “It should completely be normalized that the age gaps switch and that women have different relationships.” I agree. Whenever a woman dated someone much younger, I used to think it was somehow tragic or flawed or doomed. I still think “what do they talk about, what do they have to say to each other?” But I feel more “live and let live” these days. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, just like any other relationship.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.