I used to not care that much about Lily Collins, but she’s grown on me a lot because of Emily In Paris, one of my favorite “dumb shows.” Lily is adorable in it, and I like that she’s moved into producing. She’s a nepo baby, obviously, and she married another nepo baby – Charlie McDowell, son of Malcolm McDowell. Well, now Charlie and Lily have a nepo baby of their own! They just welcomed daughter Tove Jane McDowell via surrogacy. From Lily’s IG:
Welcome to the center of our world Tove Jane McDowell. Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way. We love you to the moon and back again…
I thought it was a nice story, and I actually wondered if they’re saying “surrogacy” when they really mean that they used a gestational carrier. They’re different things at a technical level – a gestational carrier carries an embryo made from (in this case) Lily’s egg, fertilized by Charlie. Surrogacy means that Lily and Charlie might not use their own biological material. They didn’t explain it and it’s their business – they don’t have to speak about why they’re starting a family in this way, and we don’t know if there were fertility issues or what have you. It’s none of our business. Apparently, people were getting into Lily’s Instagram comments and saying sh-t about surrogacy, and so Charlie posted this as a comment:
Thank you for all the kind messages and love. We are overjoyed and very grateful.
In regards to the unkind messages about surrogacy and our path to having a baby— it’s ok to not be an expert on surrogacy. It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume. And it’s ok to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love into people’s lives. That’s all for now because she just pooped and I need to change her diaper.
“It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume.” Exactly – I think there are absolutely conversations to be had about surrogacy and exploitation, but in this particular situation, it’s really rude to demand to know “why” Charlie and Lily used a surrogate.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Lily’s IG.
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- LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 15: (L-R) Lily Collins and Charlie McDowell attend the 2nd Annual Academy Museum Gala at Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on October 15, 2022 in Los Angeles, California.,Image: 731176369, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Lily Collins, Charlie McDowell, Credit line: Jeffrey Mayer/Avalon/Avalon
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- LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – OCTOBER 15: Lily Collins and husband Charlie McDowell arrive at the 2nd Annual Academy Museum of Motion Pictures Gala presented by Rolex held at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on October 15, 2022 in Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 731264520, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Lily Collins, Charlie McDowell, Credit line: Image Press Agency/Image Press Agency/Avalon
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- LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – APRIL 15: (L-R) Charlie McDowell and Lily Collins attend the Ninth Breakthrough Prize Ceremony at Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on April 15, 2023 in Los Angeles, California.,Image: 769816644, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Charlie McDowell, Lily Collins, Credit line: Jeffrey Mayer/Avalon/Avalon
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- Charlie McDowell, Lily Collins attends the EE BAFTA Film Awards 2024 at Royal Festival Hall, Southbank in London, England, UK on Sunday 18 February, 2024.,Image: 848141824, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: Please credit photographer and agency when publishing as Justin Ng/Retna/Avalon., Model Release: no, Credit line: Justin Ng/Avalon/Avalon
Slight nitpick, a gestational carrier is implanted with an embryo not genetically related to them, but that doesn’t mean necessarily that said embryo was created with Lily and Charlie’s egg/sperm. Baby Tove’s biology and DNA are none of our business, yes, but we also shouldn’t assume. Congratulations to the Collin’s-McDowell family!
Some of the comments on Reddit were nasty, like accusing her of exploiting a “poor woman” because she didn’t want to be pregnant, gain weight and lose roles. We don’t know the whole story behind the surrogacy and we are not entitled to the truth, it’s not because someone is famous that they need to share all the details.
In any case, congrats to them!
That is for sure not cool to do to someone, but that is a conversation that deserves to be had. It is quite an expensive thing to have a gestational carrier, or really to do any of the things they have available for infertility, and it does seem to work out to way more wealthy people not having their babies than regular people. I doubt that there are many gestational carriers who do it just because they want to help people (although I have heard this is a reason), but it’s not like people are being forced into it. It just sucks that it is is an option not really available for many
“It just sucks that it is is an option not really available for many” — so what? there are many things in the world not available to many…once again, so what?
This is such a weird take!
Charlie and his sister Lily are children of Malcolm McDowell and Mary steenbergen who met on the set of film time after time . They are stepchildren of Ted danson.
I love that picture of the two of them wearing Moomin (Tove Jansson characters) sweaters, and the fact that they named their daughter Tove (two-vèh)! Congratulations to them👍🥰
Ah! I didn’t catch the moomin shirts – went back and looked. I loved those books as a child – to the point that my mother secretly traced one for me so I could colour it (yes I’m THAT old!)
The Moomins are great. I loved the animated cartoons when I was a child.
Congratulations to this beautiful, little family ❤️❤️
I believe Lily has been through a lot, health-wise. Really happy they’re able to start a family that they’ve obviously longed for. Congrats to them!
I certainly have opinions on surrogacy and exploitation in a broader sense, but at the announcement of any individual baby is such an inappropriate and unnecessary jumping off point for the conversation. A very graceful statement from dad there.
That was a lovely statement from the new dad. Another that would have worked is Tim Walz’s, ‘mind your own damn business’.
I loved the proud father ‘s robust post about his beautiful new daughter. Congratulations to the new parent on the birth of their daughter.
Sorry I meant parents in the plural naturally! All that matters is that baby Tove is much wanted and loved by her parents, grandparents and extended family.
Congratulations! Surrogacy even in animals attracts online trolling. The war on women and reproductive healthcare is real and scary.
Tove is a very old Danish name with roots in the Viking Age. It is also my mother’s name.
It’s so beautiful!
It is a very old-fashioned name at present but maybe that will change. I believe that it means “dove”.
Lily on Netflix’s “To The Bone” (a movie about EDs) is when she first came to my attention. Lily was freaking AMAZING in the role. I feel like I remember reading she did damage to her body she was never able to fully come back from for this role.
there was concern about her playing the role because she was in recovery from anorexia nervosa herself and didn’t really have much weight she could safely lose as it was
‘To The Bone’ was when I first became aware of Lily Collins. She was great in it along with other people. Marti Noxon did a good job as writer and director in conveying/describing a condition she also shares.
Distinctions between surrogacy, gestational carrier and whatever else are lost on me – I won’t remember. Dad’s post was sweet and perfect.
Congratulations to them. I think celebrities prefer to use the term surrogate rather than gestational carrier as it sounds better. I remember the backlash Nicole Kidman got for saying gestational carrier even though she was using this accurately. I definitely think there needs to be a conversation about use of gestational carriers. I first heard about it being used by rich gay men to start a family so that they could be related to their children instead of adoption. There have been quite a few celebrities that have children this way now. The others ones that come to mind are Jessica Chastain, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Rebel Wilson, Dylan Lauren and Jen Aitkin. Most of these women are not having children on their own. Therefore it’s not solely there decision. It’s of course no one’s business why they brought a child into the world this way but it’s an interesting topic given how surrogacy is governed in different countries and the access some people have to this to be able to have their children.
I saw a documentary years ago about gay men couples travelling to India and artificially inseminating a woman for the express purpose of having a proven biological tie to the child. The men were guarding against laws that would invalidate their partnership or parental ties. I was absolutely blown away. The women had older children and the money ensured stability for their family. All I could think was she sold her child. I was very conflicted
I think surrogate is just an easy blanket term the world understands. I don’t think it’s our business to know the specifics.
Congrats on the uber-nepo baby!
Congratulations to them! A new baby is such a blessing. I regards to the trolls, it’s none of their business why they used a surrogate. I’m assuming they’ve been married for a couple of years and probably not had much luck conceiving naturally. It’s horrible for anyone to go through fertility issues, but wonderful to come out the other end with a healthy baby.
Charlie McDowell’s mom is the great Mary Steenburgen!
I didn’t even know she was with him. And the same with me, I didn’t pay much or any attention to her until I binged Emily in Paris and came to like her very much. Agreed, a silly or light show, but I don’t know anyone else who could have pulled it off so well. It made me want to get my sewing machine out. I also really like them together.