“Mom of the year”/obsessive plastic surgery victim/sorta model Jordan (aka Katie Price) has given an excruciatingly long and in-depth interview to OK! Magazine in which she’s talked about her displeasure with her body, even after what seems like a million surgeries – and at least four on her breasts alone. Jordan says she had her globe-sized implants removed, but her breasts still aren’t small enough. Or perky enough. Or bolted-on looking, which is what she actually told the surgeon she wanted. That look that screams bad/fake looking boob job is what Jordan was aiming for but didn’t get. So now she’s going to go under the knife again, for the gajillionith time.

“When I saw my boobs I was disappointed because they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller. My words to the doctor beforehand were: ‘I want to go a lot smaller. More pert. More stuck-on looking. But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” Katie, who is married to singer Peter Andre and has three children, added: “I’m really disappointed. In fact I’m going back to the States to get them re-done.”

Explaining why she isn’t impressed, Katie continued: “They look fine in bra but they hang too low when I’m standing up and it’s really bad when I’m lying down. There’s about a four inch gap. I’ve had three boob jobs done before and I’ve seen enough other ones to know what they should look like and they’re not right. I’ve also got indents so you can see where the implant is sitting and there’s excess skin so the doctor either hasn’t filled the skin up enough or he hasn’t removed enough skin.”

[From the Daily Mail]

So instead of saying to herself, “You know, I’ve had four breast surgeries so far, and each time I’m less and less satisfied. Maybe I should stop having breast surgeries,” Jordan’s natural reaction is to go under the knife for a fifth time. It seems like there’s a real contradiction between what she’s saying. “they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller” and in the next breath “But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” You see how it could be a little challenging for a surgeon to please her, given her request. Katie’s also spent a ton of money on getting her teeth done – and she’s not happy with any of it. But the best part is the end of her quote. Wait for it, it’s priceless.

Katie said she is so upset with the staggering £43,000 cosmetic surgery that she is warning others to stay natural has even vowed not to have any more done herself. She said: “I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve paid for surgery and this is the first time it went wrong.

“My boobs and nose were £18,000 and my gnashers [teeth] were £25,000. But they are [botched] as well. Mine are so sensitive now it’s like they’ve filed them down too much and have hit all my nerve endings. It hurts constantly. It feels like I’ve got electricity going through my teeth.”

She added: “I tell you what – anyone reading this, just stay natural because I’ve been through all this and look at the state of me. They [botched] up my boobs and they [botched] up my teeth and I’ve been in pain for six weeks. I don’t want any more surgery, though. I’ve had enough! I’ve had enough of anaesthetics and I’ve had enough of recovering.

[From the Daily Mail]

Wow, so you look the worse for wear, you’re out a lot of money, you’re completely dissatisfied with the results, your advice to everyone is to stay natural, and you “don’t want any more surgery… I’ve had enough!” BUT, the subject of your whole interview is how you’re having more surgery to get your boobs and teeth redone. Well thought out my friend, well thought out. Jordan, should you ever stumble upon our site, could I recommend you peruse this article? Thanks.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s a side shot of Jordan’s new, toned-down boobs as she arrives back to the UK from her surgery in the US on December 22nd. Images thanks to Splash. Header of her promoting her line of larger sized lingerie in 2006.