After sitting through all three and half hours of the Oscars last night I’m struck by how kind of forgettable it was. Sure there were some nice moments, but for the biggest night in entertainment it sure wasn’t that entertaining. They tried to mix it up this year by having two co-hosts, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, instead of one. Most of the jokes were lame, though, and while I laughed a few times it sure was a boring ride. I kept asking Kaiser when it would end. (She thought the hosts were much funnier than I did, though.)

They tried to cut down the time by cutting out the entertainment and, as Kaiser told me, it just felt “budget” this year. Last year’s Oscar ceremony, with Hugh Jackman presiding, tried to shake it up with a nightclub feel and more song and dance numbers and was much more memorable. This year felt like a more traditional ceremony and just dragged. Apart from some of the heartfelt speeches and the personal tributes to the nominees, the best part was the opening skit with Neil Patrick Harris. They should have had Harris host this year.

It’s also worth noting that most of the winners were considered shoe-ins and that there were no upsets at all. When you already know who’s going to win, it’s just not as much fun.

Neil Patrick Harris’s opening number: “No One Wants To Do It Alone”
When Harris opening the ceremony with this rousing original song and dance routine, I got excited that we’d be seeing an Oscars similar to last year’s revamped version. The song included such lines as “Why wouldn’t Crosby give up hope? Why does Harold call Kumar when he scores dope? Why does a prisoner drop the soap? Cause no one wants to do it alone.” My other favorite line… “Can’t imagine Cinderella without the ball.. Can’t think of Botox without you all.” Sadly, this was the highlight of the show’s entertainment.

Peer tributes to nominees
I think they started this tradition last year, and it’s a lovely way to personally acknowledge the performances of each actor and actress nominated in the Best Actor and Actress Categories. Each nominee is honored with a brief statement from someone who knows them personally, and the result is often very touching. My favorite was when Oprah described the way Gabourey Sidibe went from being a schoolgirl to starring in an Oscar nominated role within a couple of days. Sidibe was brought to tears and so was I.

Tribute to horror films with Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart
Taylor and Kristen presented a montage of horror films that seemed just as terrifying as a full length feature. For all you can say about the Oscar ceremony’s lack of entertainment and editing, they sure know how to edit a film. As the two Twilight stars explained “Although the most popular genre of film is horror, and although it gave a start to the career of a lot of people in this room, somehow it doesn’t command to the respect it deserves…. It’s been 37 years since horror has its place on the show, when ‘The Exorcist’ picked up two Academy Awards.” [via Celebrity Mania]

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin’s brief taped skits
There were some funny-ish pre-taped moments with Steve and Alec, most notably when they were seen backstage sharing a Snuggie and when they did a cute riff on Paranormal Activity. Overall these two fell flat, though, and their monologue at the beginning was decent but not incredible.

Tribute to John Hughes
Hollywood hadn’t seen legendary 80s director John Hughes in over twenty years before he passed away last year from a heart attack at the age of 59. They paid tribute to his work last night and we got to see our favorite stars from his films, like Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, and Anthony Michael Hall. Kaiser and I were gossiping about how Sheedy and Ringwald could use better styling, but we’re bitches like that. When Hughes’ family was shown in the audience, the industry was finally able to thank the man who brought us such defining lines as “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”

“Lady Kanye” interrupts speech
The winner of the Documentary: Short Subject Oscar, producer Roger Ross Williams of Music By Prudence, was rudely interrupted by a woman who crashed his speech declaring that men don’t let women talk. She’s already being declared the “Lady Kanye,” and Williams confirms that while the interrupting party, Elinor Burkett, was involved with the film she did pull a Kanye and they have some sort of long-standing beef over the project. (There’s more at Jezebel and Salon.)

Ben Stiller dresses as an Avatar Na’vi
Ben Stiller presented the award for makeup while in full makeup as a blue Na’vi from Avatar. He admitted that it was kind of ironic considering that no actual makeup was used for the film. Stiller quipped “It was between this and the Nazi uniform but the show seemed a little Hitler-heavy. ” The skit was cute, but it felt half finished to me as I knew that Sacha Baron Cohen was originally supposed to dress as a pregnant Na’vi and confront James Cameron. That bit was ultimately cut due to “creative differences” with a producer who knew how touchy Cameron would be about it. Cameron looked kind of stone-faced at the time, so you can tell why they decided not to make it as in-his-face as originally intended.

As I’ve said in past years, I love seeing people win for some of the technical and smaller films, but at the same time that really makes the night last forever. They relegated the honorary Oscars to a separate ceremony this year and they need to move most of the smaller categories as well. This event is televised live and in no way do we have the patience for this. I love film and seeing celebrities but if this wasn’t my job I never would have sat through even half of the broadcast last night. The world of entertainment has radically changed since the Internet revolutionized how we view content while shrinking our attention spans. Movies have, for the most part, kept up (with mixed results). It’s too bad that the Oscars are still stuck in the past.