Lindsay Lohan tried to offer an olive branch to Paris Hilton, leaving her nice phone messages in her 55 year-old heavy smoker’s voice. Lohan said she wanted to make peace with Paris after their longstanding feud over swapping Greek shipping heirs back and forth, re-infecting each other with various strains of communicable diseases.

Instead of ignoring Lohan or maybe sending her a text or voice message back saying all that was stagnant water under the bridge, Paris did the mature thing – and had her assistant leave fart sound messages on Lindsay’s voice mail:

Lindsay Lohan tried to make peace with Paris, leaving voice mails explaining that she wanted to call a truce.

But Paris refused to call back. Finally, she responded in her usually classy way.

“She had her assistant call Lindsay and leave fart sounds on her voice mail,” a close source told The Enquirer.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 25, 2008]

Paris Hilton is such a nice, caring, responsible person. She even takes in countless animals and gives them a loving home outside the chi chi pet shops where they were confined in misery before she swooped them up for a life of luxury as her living accessories.

After Paris told Ellen DeGeneres on her show on Monday that she had a whopping 17 dogs, the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services paid a visit to her home. It is illegal to have more than three dogs in the city of Los Angeles without a breeder’s permit. There was no one at Paris’ place and it was under construction. The animals weren’t there either, though, they have their own nannies and pet whisperers, which seems like a much better existence than having to wait like last year’s Balenciaga bag for Paris to pick you to accompany her to an event.

Header image is an older one of Paris and Lindsay. The image below of Paris dressed like her dog is from July of last year.