Michael Lohan suffers a heart attack

Michael Lohan outside Beso restaurant in Hollywood

Michael Lohan was rushed to the hospital yesterday with chest pain, and his spokesperson/girlfriend/drunken ex-Jon Gosselin hookup, Kate Major, claims that he suffered a heart attack. As Michael K. at D-Listed reports, you just know that Lohan is going to use this as an excuse to spout off to any celebrity outlet that will pay his fee. He doesn’t have any phone tapes left to sell and he’s going to capitalize on his medical issue. That’s not to say that I don’t wish him a full recovery, I just don’t want to hear from the guy ever again. He’s a nasty person who picks fights with everyone he’s ever claimed to care about. Don’t they say that you’re supposed to avoid stress and strife after a heart attack? I would imagine that a prolonged petty legal battle with your ex would only add to that.

Lindsay Lohan’s dad had a heart attack today, according to his girlfriend/non-doctor Kate Major.

Michael Lohan was taken to a hospital in New York after suffering chest pains that radiated to his arms. Kate says an EKG showed evidence of a heart attack.

Kate says Michael is at St. Francis Hospital in Manhasset. She says Michael will undergo a “procedure” but wasn’t specific.

Back on March 6, Michael suffered chest pains and was told by his doctor that he needed a heart catheterization.

[From TMZ]

A near death experience isn’t going to change Michael Lohan. He’ll just use this heart attack as an excuse to fuel his anger at every perceived slight brought on by his insufferable personality. Fingers crossed that he goes away for a long time to a spiritual retreat in a remote area without Internet access or cell phone reception.

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25 Responses to “Michael Lohan suffers a heart attack”

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  1. LolaBella says:

    The sympathetic person in me is sorry to hear this and wishes him a speedy recovery.

    The snarky bitch in me says ‘it doesn’t change the fact that he a deadbeat dad and a famewhore douchebag.’

  2. Popcorny says:

    They knew straight away it wasn’t an aneurysm due to a lack of brains.
    But at least now he has proof that he actually does have a heart.

  3. dee says:

    I have no sympathy for this one, in fact Im holding back a big LOL.
    Im sure him and his dingy gf Kate Major will milk this for all the publicity they can get, it will be sickening.

  4. SolitaryAngel says:

    Hey Michael—Karma’s looking for ya!

  5. Rianna says:

    geez. i feel sorry that he has had a heart attack but another part of me is like… karma is a bitch mate!

  6. Snarf says:

    You know he’s already scheming to turn this into a money making oppertunity with various tabloids that will pay him to hear his “near death experience”.

  7. bellaluna says:

    “You gotta have a heart before you can have an attack.”

    Who Framed Roger Rabbit (one of my all-time favourite movies)

  8. LolaBella says:

    @Snarf:

    Sadly I think you’re right. I can just see him on ‘The Insider’ with Lara Spencer trying to look all caring and sympathetic (cause she’s a serious journalist 🙄 ) asking all types of hard hitty questions (were you wearing your mesh shirt when you had the attack?)

    Michael will then speaks softly, while looking earnestly into the camera and say that he has been so stressed about Lindsay’s downward spiral and addiction and he believed that this contributed to the heart attack.

    Like I said in my earlier post, he’s still a famewhore douchebag.

  9. meme says:

    so?

  10. ogechi says:

    My heart felt sympathy goes out to him and his family. Michael pls get well soon.

  11. ashley says:

    I think the Karma train is pulling up to station. I do not wish ill on anyone, but maybe its a sign to cool it.
    But you know he won’t, and he’ll sell this story to the highest bidder too.
    What a shame.

  12. Tia C says:

    Yes, Karma is a b*tch, as they say.

  13. cara says:

    who cares?

  14. Jill says:

    WHOA! He HAS a heart???

  15. irishserra says:

    Drugs, alcohol and crummy food will do that to a person…

  16. GET WELL says:

    OMG You People are HEARTLESS!
    I wish anyone who has a heart attack a speedy recovery!
    GET WELL SOON!

  17. archiepelago says:

    Maybe it was a panic attack. Some people mistake those for heart attacks.

  18. MIlan says:

    The Lord will not be mocked, Michael, repent for making your daughter in to a delusional drugged up whore, for turning your wife into a robot with a cashier machine for a heart. Repent that your 14 year old daughter is in danger of being used up and dead inside by age 17. And no i’m not a bible thumping fanatic, but if i were….Repent ye heretic son of Beelzebub!

  19. snapdragon says:

    i wish i could say i’m sorry for him. i wish.

  20. piedlourde says:

    Come on, Grim Reaper! “If at first you don’t succeed”, huh?

  21. Feebee says:

    why do i find this headline amusing?

  22. GatsbyGal says:

    I admit it, I laughed. And didn’t feel bad about it. Grim reaper’s coming for you, Mr. Lohan.

  23. Kate says:

    LOL they’re dating now? Birds of a feather…

  24. Madisyn says:

    I agree with LolaBella but POST 2, not 1. This will all be Lindsay’s doing in the end! Yeah right! I think alot of us know this kind of man: It’s everybody’s fault but HIS!

  25. Lway says:

    @ piedlourde: that’s COLD!! LOL! 🙂