I suppose it’s not surprising, and since we’re already covering nearly every aspect of this f-cking tragedy, I thought I’d combine all of the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James tabloid covers this week into one big post. CB already wrote about In Touch Weekly’s interview with Janine Lindemulder, and various Sandra/Jesse stories also appear on People Magazine, Us Weekly and Star Magazine covers this week. Us Weekly claims that Sandra is “Married to a Monster” and that “Sandra is shattered”. The Enquirer also uses the word “Monster” to describe Jesse on their cover. Star Magazine goes full-throtle tabloid to claim that Sandra was pregnant, and they also have an interview with yet another woman who had an affair with Jesse. Meanwhile, People Magazine glosses over some of the nastier stuff to do a softer “Inside Sandra’s Heartbreak” story. Which, given all of the other tabloid reporting, I’m finding especially nauseating given that People’s position seems to be “rooting for reconciliation”. Ugh. Here’s an excerpt from People:

As Jesse James struggles to cope with a family crisis he admits to creating, his top priority, a friend tells PEOPLE, is maintaining some normalcy in the lives of his three children.

He’s “spending every free moment with his children,” says his friend, “taking them to school and doing the things they love to do, so this doesn’t disrupt their lives too much.”

Their stepmom, Sandra Bullock, moved out of the family home on May 15 after allegations of infidelity were made against James.

“He would certainly love for this somehow to go away and that somehow things can be rectified and put back together,” the friend says. “The one thing that’s most important to him in the whole wide world is that his family comes back together. He will do whatever that takes.

James, 40, the West Coast Choppers motorcycle king, has daughters Chandler, 15, and Sunny, 6, and son Jesse Jr., 12, from two previous marriages. Bullock, 45, has long spoken of her deep love for his kids, whom she treats as her own.

The James friend says of the newly minted Oscar winner: “You’re talking about one of the most beautiful, talented women in the world, just an absolute wonderful human being, and there’s a great loss to him and his children.”

[From People]

The Enquirer’s story (here) is basically about how Sandra can never forgive Jesse’s betrayal, and that the revelations about Jesse “hit her hard”. An “insider” tells the magazine: “Since she walked out on him, she’s been stashed away in a safe house by one of her most trusted pals, and is now trying to pick up the pieces of her life. She will never forgive Jesse.” Blah. Star Magazine notes that Sandra changed her Facebook status to “single” but I’m not sure that I buy that Sandy has a Facebook page. Of course, the main event for Star is the claim that Sandra was pregnant (Star hasn’t put that story online yet) and the Jesse had another mistress, Melissa Smith (photo here), who conveniently sat down for an interview with Star:

Jesse James’ sex romps with stripper-dominatrix Michelle McGee weren’t the first time he cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock! Star can exclusively reveal he had a two-year relationship with Melissa Smith.

In the April 5 issue of Star — on sale today — the sexy blonde stripper spills the exclusive details of her affair with the Jesse — including unprotected sex, kinky requests and intercourse on his office couch.

Like Michelle, Melissa first made contact with Jesse online. But he reached out to her via MySpace in September 2006 (a year after he married Sandra) when he saw a photo of her on the Web site posing in front of a car at a West Coast Choppers party in Long Beach, Calif.

“I got a message from this guy saying,’Nice car…that’s my godfather’s.’ After a few exchanges, he introduced himself as Jesse James and gave me his e-mail address with the name Vanilla Gorilla” — the nickname Jesse goes by and Michelle referred to as well.

Soon after Melissa traveled to California, where Jesse promised he’d take her for a ride in one of his cars, but they never made it out of his office!

After making small talk about the artwork on his walls and taking photos together, “I said, ‘Well, I guess I should get going,’ and he said, ‘You don’t have to,’ and moved his chair closer to me and started rubbing my leg. We ended up having sex on his couch,” Melissa details.

Pick up the new Star today for the complete story of the two-year affair including Jesse’s kinky sex requests, the gift Jesse gave her, why their relationship ended and the last time she heard from him — which wasn’t that long ago!

[From Star Magazine]

Eh. I mean, sure, I believe Jesse was screwing around on Sandra with multiple women. Now that I’m thinking ill of him, I’ll believe just about anything. Us Weekly is running the same basic story too, although they don’t have interviews with mistresses, only “sources” close to Jesse who claim that Jesse was screwing around constantly.

Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James cheated on her with other women besides tattoo model Michelle McGee, multiple sources tell the new Us Weekly (on newsstands now).

“This is just the first person who has gone public,” one source tells Us Weekly. Adds another, “This is not an isolated incident. When Sandra is away, he gets bored.”

In fact, James’ infidelity has been an open secret among employees at his West Coast Choppers bike shop in Long Beach, Calif.

“Everybody knew,” one source tells Us Weekly.

James, 40, would regularly post Internet ads looking for “hot, tattooed biker chicks with big boobs,” says a source.

Adds another, “He sees their photos, answers the ads and invites the girls to his office.”

How could Bullock, 45, be in the dark about her husband of nearly five years?

“He is a whole other person when they’re together,” says a source.

Adds an insider, “She was completely duped.”

[From Us Weekly]

Several of the sub-headlines of these tabloids have stuff about Jesse’s “Nazi connections” – which I would find more interesting, quite honestly, than all of this stuff about the affairs. I would really like to know Jesse’s true feelings about race and neo-Nazism and white power and all of it. I want to know if this sh-t is truly a belief system for Jesse (and if so, how did Sandra not know?) or whether it was just some sort of historical fantasism and fanaticism (my dad is a WWII buff too, but he doesn’t fetishize it like this f-cked up subculture). Whatever. This sh-t is only going to worse. Poor Sandy.

Tabloid covers courtesy of CoverAwards.