It just keeps getting worse. Life & Style is reporting that Playgirl is offering Jesse James $500,000 just to get a peek at his Vanilla Gorilla. Because that’s just he, and we, need, right? Because seeing some JJ supremacist wang will make everybody feel better?

Jesse James was recently dubbed the “Vanilla Gorilla” by his mistress Michelle “Bombshell” McGee because of the supposed size of his package. Now Playgirl magazine wants to see the proof! Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively that the magazine has extended an offer of $500,000 to Jesse’s team if Jesse agrees to pose nude for Playgirl.

“We’d want him to pose in a Coney Island freak show setting. It would be a whole circus-themed shoot, complete with tattooed women and sword swallowers!” Nardicio tells Life & Style. Playgirl is already shooting Make Me a Supermodel star Ronnie Kroell for the June issue.

The magazine recently extended an offer to Jon Gosselin to pose nude as well — but for only $20,000. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed].” Nardicio told Life & Style at the time. It looks like this is a case where bigger really is better!

[From Life & Style]

To me, the Jon Gosselin offer kind of makes more sense, just because that’s the true “circus freak” stuff (because he’s hung like a 10 year old or whatever). But who wants to see JJ’s wang these days? I already know way too much about his sex life, I don’t want to see the Hitler Stick.

There are a ton of other stories about Jesse, most of which are coming out in bits and pieces from this week’s tabloids. I’m just going to do the basic rundown, most of this comes from Jezebel’s Tabloid Round-Up, OK! Magazine and Radar:

* Apparently, every time Sandra Bullock brought up having children, Jesse talked her out of it, according to Life & Style. “As her biological clock continued to tick, she embraced her maternal side by becoming a stepmom to Jesse’s three kids.”

*Also from L&S and OK! Magazine: Sandra has a prenup! One version has a “guarantee” that she can have access to Sunny should Sandra and Jesse divorce. Which sounds like bullsh-t to me, because who puts custodial issues of stepchildren into a prenuptial agreement? And how do you enforce it? OK says that Sandra & Jesse kept all of their money separate: “She has her money and he has his. They both wanted it that way.” Sandra has “never taken a dime” from Jesse and she kept her Hollywood Hills home, which she bought before they were married.

* Jesse’s second ex-wife Janine Lindemulder “says he paid people close to her to get her computer passwords and erased old emails he’d sent to her that said stuff like, ‘I don’t want Sunny to have my last name, find her a new daddy.’”

*From Us Weekly via Jezebel: “Jesse James would regularly post internet ads looking for “biker models.” He would check out the photos and invite ladies to the office, and a source says he had a type: hot, tattooed biker chicks with big boobs.” Star confirms with other “former employees” of Jesse’s: “Sexy, big-busted tattooed women were regularly escorted to his office. He was also always looking for girls on MySpace.”

*Star Magazine via Jezebel: “Apparently Sandra was trying to get pregnant before she found out that Jesse was cheating, and during their five-year marriage, she had two miscarriages. One was right after their wedding; the other was in 2008.”

*Star via Jezebel: “In 2005, he had to cut short a trip to Vermont with Sandra to fly to LA and pay $70,000 to a former employee who was threatening to go public with their affair. Another employee threatened to file a sexual harassment suit, but he paid her off, too.” TMZ is reporting the amount for which he settled a 2007 suit was $725,000.

*Bombshell McGee is still trying to sell her story for even more cash. Sources tell Radar that she‘s done is all for “a better life for my family.”

UGGGHHH.