In Touch Weekly is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are having such problems in their marriage, they’ve decided to quietly separate. Except not really, they’re going to be living in adjoining homes, according to this report. This story has already been half-heartedly “debunked” by Gossip Cop and Gwyneth’s rep (the Dread Pirate Huvane, most likely), but I wanted to write about it anyway, because I have some theories about this situation. First, here’s In Touch’s report:

The distance between Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin, has already been growing for months. And now, an insider on the U.K. music scene says they’re ready to split permanently by moving into separate, but adjoining, homes in London.

“It’s fairly well known that they hardly spend any time together,” DJ Jamie Ford tells In Touch. “If you see him out, you rarely see her. He looks like a single guy out enjoying himself.”

Although they’ve been married for six years, “they have little left in common” except for the kids, Apple and Moses, reveals a friend of Gwyneth’s. There recently have been rumors of Chris cheating – which he has denied – and in October he was spotted with Kate Bosworth at a U2 concert.

“Whether he did anything or not, having people talk about it is still embarrassing for Gwyneth,” says her friend, adding that they’ve been “fighting constantly.”

For the sake of the children, Gwyneth, 37, and Chris, 33, have come up with a solution – to live discreetly apart.

“It’s doubtful they will ever divorce because what matters most is their kids coming home to a mom and dad,” says a source. “They may not have the type of marriage they used to have, but they will hold off [splitting] for everyone involved.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, April 5, 2010]

Now, am I taking this as the gospel? No. Because I don’t think that this is the way Gwyneth would roll out a potential (and in my mind, inevitable) split with Chris. But I do think they will definitely split. I’m of the opinion that Chris was probably having an affair with Kate Bosworth, and God knows how many women on the road during Coldplay’s endless tours. I think Gwyneth accepted that sh-t if he was discreet, and once people started asking questions about the state of her marriage, Gwyneth realized that it might be time to call the whole thing off. And I really think for Gwyneth it’s all about timing. She’s got Iron Man 2 coming out in May, so I have a theory about how and when (and if, whatever) Gwyneth and Chris are going to split.

My guess: it’s either going to be very, very soon, so that Iron Man 2 promotion becomes all about Gwyneth, OR Gwyneth and Chris wait several months more, but announce their split strategically and rapidly. Considering we haven’t heard anything major yet, I’d say we’re going to be waiting a while longer. But it’s coming, trust me.