Jessica Simpson is attacking her gay boyfriend Ken Paves with her nasty tongue of DOOM. This is an actual photo that Jessica put up on her Twitter. It’s funny how she’s always trying to get Ken to make out with her. And he’s all “no thanks, I know where that sh-t has been.” Speaking of Jessica’s dating past, she’s got a new interview with Fox News Pop Tarts where she’s going a little overboard about what she’s learned about dating and men. Granted, she makes some good points and I can see how some of the stuff she says might be enlightening to a 12-year-old girl, but in general, Jessica is annoying me:

It’s no secret that Jessica Simpson has had more than her fair share of failed romances, including a divorce from Nick Lachey in 2006 and very public break-ups from Tony Romo and John Mayer. But the VH1’s “Price of Beauty” star still believes her Mr. Right is out there – and even has some tips for other ladies who too are lost in the love world.

“It’s important for women not to find their confidence in a man. I think you really have to know who you are before you can truly fall in love and give your all, and I don’t think a man can define you. You have to own that,” Simpson told Pop Tarts in an exclusive interview. “So if you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.”

And while the 29-year-old has managed to conquer the pop world and stay in the spotlight for over 12 years, she is still faced with one of her biggest challenges.

“By ten years I would love to be a mom, I would love just to be in love and be a mom,” Simpson said. “It sounds simple but it’s a lot harder [ than you think.] I’m pretty picky.”

And after hitting the headlines last year for having added a few pounds to her petite frame, Simpson traveled the world to film the reality series “The Price of Beauty” to explore how beauty is defined by a multitude of different cultures and heal herself from the hurt of being subjected to such tabloid fodder.

“I personally needed it for myself after going through all the scrutiny I went through for gaining a couple of pounds. It was really hard on me and I felt I needed to find some light in the very dark place I was in,” Simpson said. “I realized that people’s judgments about me and about my weight are really just none of my business, it’s not something I should be listening to or taking to heart. People can say whatever they want to say and I cannot take it personally. I know it’s the business I am in and I put myself in a position to be criticized, but I’ve found something that will help me deal.”

Simpson says one of the most shocking experiences she endured while filming was visiting a fattening hut in Uganda and seeing women strive to be called “fat cows.”

“The fatter you are the more beautiful. Brides-to-be go into these huts and gain up to 90 pounds. They just drink loads and loads of milk. They gain weight solely off of milk,” she said.

“These women want you to compare them to cows – they literally want to be called a fat cow. I’ve never heard of that in my life, and being able to live that with these women and to see them go through their routines was definitely shocking.”

And speaking of beauty and body parts, what feature does Simpson treasure most about herself?

“I like my nose, that’s my favorite body part,” she said. “I do have a bump, but I like my profile – I don’t think anyone else has my exact same nose, I think it’s unique and a little flawed.”

[From Fox News Pop Tarts]

I believe that Jessica’s goal in life is to get married and have babies. At least, that’s her goal at this point. Maybe at one point she had dreams of being a real actress (like Pinocchio had dreams of being a real boy), but I think even Jessica knows that her “careers” as a singer and actress are done. Now she’s just a “personality” and a clothing designer (which isn’t bad). Oh, she’s also a “farter” but that’s not a career choice. Anyway, I do think Jessica will end up married with a few babies, and we’ll probably hear all about it.

Photo of Jessica and Ken, courtesy of Jess’s Twitter.