Larry King, 76, is getting divorced for the eighth time, to the seventh wife, Shawn, who is 50 years old. They’ve been married 13 years, and they have two sons together. I feel like we’re all witnessing some kind of Biblical prophecy. “Ye shall watch The King of Larrys tear asunder the eighth matrimony, spoketh the Lord.” Which is funny, because Larry might predate Christianity. But don’t lull yourself into some kind of comfort zone of “he’s an old fart, his wife was probably tired of his ass”. Larry King is a crazy old bastard, and he marries crazy ladies. So this sh-t is going to get good in a hurry. First, the statement from Larry’s rep: “His major concern is the welfare of his children, and beyond that he’s not going to comment about the divorce.” Larry filed the papers first, listing the date of separation as April 13, Tuesday. While filing, he asked the court to deny Shawn spousal support. Oh, Larry! You crazy bastard. Larry and Shawn have two sons together, Cannon (who is 9) and Chance (who is 11).

Also, note this – various media outlets are reporting various numbers for how many times Larry has actually been married and divorced. Some say six, some say seven, some say eight. Do you think Larry can remember at this point? TMZ notes that Larry did marry and divorce the same woman twice.

Now, the good stuff. After Larry filed for divorce in California, Shawn filed her own divorce paperwork, asking for primary custody of the kids, and spousal and child support. There’s also a big real estate war brewing, because Shawn claimed many jointly owned properties as “hers” while Larry filed paperwork to keep all of the homes that may be in Shawn’s name.

As for why the rush to get the paperwork filed and get the divorce war started so quickly, TMZ reports that Larry and Shawn had an “explosive argument” at their home on Wednesday, and that “cars screeched out of the driveway afterwards”. What was the argument about? What does a 76 year old man have to get angry about? Why, his wife is still accusing him of having an affair with her sister. Oh, YES. It was even But the sister denies it. Here’s more from TMZ:

TMZ has learned Larry King’s marriage fell apart in large part because Shawn Southwick believes Larry is having an affair with her sister, Shannon Engemann … but Shannon tells TMZ exclusively it’s absolutely not true.

Shannon says Shawn has been accusing her of fooling around with Larry for months. She says Shawn has repeatedly pointed to the fact that Larry gave Shannon numerous gifts as evidence. But Shannon says, “This is so ludicrous. She’s singling me out, but Larry has been nothing but generous to our entire family, including me.”

Shannon says it’s true … Larry has given her gifts for Xmas and her birthday. Shannon was not specific, but Shawn reportedly believes Larry bought Shannon a $160,000 car, among other things.

Shannon said, “Shawn has left me threatening messages.” After the National Enquirer published a story suggesting an affair, Shannon says, “Shawn left me a message … ‘If you dare sue the Enquirer I will pull out every last receipt that proves you had an affair with Larry.'”

Shannon adds, “I’m tired for taking the wrap for things. I did not have an affair with Larry. He’s been like a father to me.”

And finally, Shannon added, “I have a date tonight and I’m not going to worry about it. I love my sister. What’s happening is not my fault.”

[From TMZ]

“He’s been like a father to me.” Hahahaha….gasp…hahaha. Jesus. This is a fun divorce already! So, do you think Larry was/is boning his sister-in-law? In all honesty – and I’m not saying this out of ageist prejudice, I swear – I don’t really think Larry is capable of really having a physical affair at this point. What’s shocking to me is not that Larry is 76 years old – it’s that I thought he was in his late 80s or something. Larry has lived a long and full and crazy life, and I’m sure that if he is “attracted” to his sister-in-law, it’s probably more of a “she’s pretty to look at, and she’s nice, I’ll buy her a car” sort of way, rather than some epic affair.

Okay, I know I’m doing a lot of photos for this post, but I seriously can’t stop laughing. There are literally SO MANY hilarious photos of Larry and Shawn: