At first, this story seemed like a joke, but by the end, I just felt sad. The Enquirer claims that Angelina confessed to Brad that she was no longer attracted to him because of, you know, the drinking and reefer addiction and that f-cking beard. Which I could conceivably buy, in general. They’ve been together for awhile, the heat and passion has probably dwindled, and he’s got that f-cking beard. But the part that’s a little crazy is where, allegedly, Angelina is asking Brad to get a facelift and Brad’s actually considering it! Here’s more:

Convinced that her formerly hunky lover now looks like a scraggly bum, Angelina Jolie has told partner Brad Pitt he needs to undergo major plastic surgery if he wants their romance to last, an insider told the Enquirer.

“She told him he looked like a total wreck, and that he needed to do something radical before she could find him attractive again,” an insider told the Enquirer.

“The sad truth is, Brad looks like a pale shadow of his former self. His skin is in terrible condition, and he’s grown this ridiculous beard to try to cover up how bad he looks underneath.”

Brad’s appearance has gone downhill under the strain of juggling his and Angie’s six kids, his hectic career and his sometimes crazy relationship with the gorgeous but fiery Angelina. And the stress has led Brad to turn to drinking and partying – which have made him look haggard and older than his 46 years.

Not wanting to hurt his feelings, Angelina avoided talking to Brad about his looks, but she finally broke down and told him that she sees him more like a brother than a lover these days.

“She told him he just isn’t the same handsome man she fell in love with, and that he needed to do something extreme,” the insider continued.

Although Brad was offended at first, he’s now considering going under the knife, says the insider.

“He agreed to have a facelift if that is what it will take to revive their relationship,” added the insider. “He still loves Angie and can’t stand the idea of her not being into him physically anymore.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

If Angelina told Brad to jump off a cliff, would he do it? Perhaps. But would she tell him to get a facelift? Doubtful. And would he consider it? Doubtful. I actually don’t think Brad is in need of a facelift. What he needs is: a professional shave (you know, one of those nice ones that men get done at the barbershop), a great haircut and dye job (perhaps going to an old-school Robert Redford sandy/dirty blonde), several days worth of sleep, lots of water, a few days of sun, some moisturizer, and a hot meal. I guarantee that would do wonders for his appearance.

God knows, we don’t want him to end up like this:

Kenny Rogers is the cautionary tale. Here’s a few more photos of Brad and that f-cking beard over the past few months:

Brad in Italy on April 3, 2010, in London on March 22, 2010, and in New York on Sept. 25, 2009. Credit: WENN.