Sometimes I think derogatory things about Nick Cannon. I’ll be looking at photos of him, and I’ll mutter “Purse carrier.” Or “Mr. Mariah.” Or “You poor bastard.” But as Nick and Mariah Carey approach their second wedding anniversary, I have to admit that whatever their relationship really boils down to (purse carrying, feedings, helping her drunk ass into bed), it’s working for them. I think Nick might have actually known what he was getting into when he married Mariah. And I think that as long as he treats her right, she’s going to spoil him. Plus, it seems like both of them enjoy a sense of whimsy, an old-school joy of celebrity exploitation. They seem to think they exist as gifts for all of us to enjoy. Which they kind of are. Anyway, all of this to say that Nick just announced that he and Mariah will be having their third “wedding” for their second anniversary. They’re going to renew their vows and Mariah will probably get drunk and Nick will pour her into bed, just like their honeymoon.

So nice, they’re doing it thrice!

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon will be tying the knot for the third time on April 30, which is their two-year wedding anniversary. Expect a similar blowout in 2011, 2012 … and beyond, as long as they’re together.

“We get married every year! That’s our thing,” Cannon explained to UsMagazine.com at Monday’s PepsiCo Feed America Volunteer Day event in NYC.

“So it’s going to be our third wedding this year. That’s what we’ll be doing on the actual [anniversary]…We’ll do something…A party or event, just to celebrate.”

The Grammy-winning singer is definitely getting more bling from her spouse. Cannon confirmed to Us that he’ll be getting his wife another diamond ring for the occasion.

“That’s totally right,” he said. “This is the third ring I have to buy…It’ll be something different. Something good.”

Carey’s engagement ring from Jacob & Co. Jewelers reportedly cost $2.5 million. After dating for just six weeks in early 2008, Cannon, 29 and Carey, 40, wed on the singer’s private island in The Bahamas in a surprise bash.

“It’s nice,” Cannon gushed. “We like being married every year.”

[From Us Weekly]

What’s the traditional gift for the second anniversary? Pink diamonds? I wish. Or sapphires. Oh, wouldn’t that be heaven? Your husband would have to buy a different spectacular jewel for every anniversary. Oh, but Nick isn’t really shelling out his money for all of these “presents” right? Mariah buys them for herself, and Nick “gives” them to her, correct? She’s the one with the big money. Plus, she probably doesn’t let him pick anything out.

Here are some of their greatest hits from two years of red carpet appearances: