My God, Katherine Heigl needs to stop letting her mom do her hair. This isn’t some kind of quaint, Southern, the-bigger-the-hair-the-closer-to-God look. There are literally little old Southern ladies with big, blue helmet hair looking at Heigl and saying, “Take it down a notch, honey.” Anyway, this was Dame Heigl in London Wednesday night for the British premiere of The Killers. For some reason, Ashton Kutcher “couldn’t make” the premiere, either because he had film commitments (maybe) or because he knows The Killers is a steaming turd and he doesn‘t want anyone to know he‘s in it (likely). Heigl’s dress is Victoria Beckham. I don’t hate the dress, honestly. It’s got a revamped Roland Mouret circa 2005 vibe happening. What? Oh, I meant “Victoria Beckham is a completely original fashion designer who never copies, ever.”

So, LaineyGossip mentioned that there was this excellent piece in New York Magazine’s Vulture column, and it is definitely worth a read. The piece is called “Katherine Heigl: The Definitive Vulture Analysis of the Divisive Rom-Com Queen” and it makes several excellent points about Heigl’s current and future place in the industry. Apparently, according to industry insiders, Dame Heigl’s place inside the industry is pretty good right at the moment – she’s one of only five women who can have a movie greenlit simply by taking a role. And she’s the youngest too! The other women are Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie and Reese Witherspoon. Heigl’s in pretty rarefied air. Too bad she’s such a bitch, right? Yeah, that’s what everyone else says too. Full Vulture piece here, and here are some highlights:

27 Dresses and The Ugly Truth…banked a combined $165.7 million domestically, $365.6 million worldwide. While the numbers may spit on Pauline Kael’s grave, they also make it hard to ignore that Katherine Heigl is today’s one true bankable rom-com star. And yet, this stature is complicated by her polarizing public persona: While to some she’s a ditzy-delightful movie presence, to others she’s a headstrong, self-immolating, gaffe-spewing, headache-inducing diva freak. Or both.

Heigl started out as a child model at age 9, then played Gerard Depardieu’s 16-year-old daughter (in My Father the Hero) and an alien (on TV’s Roswell in 1999). But now, for better or worse, she is known for three things: (1) starring on Grey’s Anatomy; (2) leaving Grey’s Anatomy; (3) complaining about everything.

After she starred in Knocked Up in 2007, the totally-not-reliant-on-her comedy from Judd Apatow, she derided the film as “sexist.” When the producers of Grey’s Anatomy moved to accommodate her simultaneous shooting of the show and a movie, she complained to David Letterman about her seventeen-hour workdays. And she publicly dissed her Grey’s writers for weak story lines — as explanation for why she hadn’t submitted her name for an Emmy. (Her mother, Nancy, who is also her manager, reportedly told her she “didn’t have a hope in hell of winning.”)

To some, this translates as “refreshingly outspoken.” To others, it translates as ”enormous pain in the ass.” Of course, if you’re Russell Crowe, Oscar eater, you can survive inducing widespread ass-pain. But can Heigl?

In a time when studios have thrown a lot of Jennifers (Aniston, Lopez, Garner) at the wall to see who’d stick, Heigl is the only actress who has. As a whole, her post–Knocked Up movies have been competent, successful, familiar, and undistinguished — all of which you might say about Heigl herself. There will always be starring roles for pretty blondes who are delightfully ditzy and can chew their lips emotively on cue. However, there will also always be blondes like that, too.

AN AGENT’S VIEW: “She still green-lights studio movies. And personality aside, she is a movie star. The problem is that it’s getting harder and harder. Look at this project Blended at Warner Bros. that she’s attached to. It’s a two-hander [needing a male and female lead to pull it off]. And the producers are telling us, ‘We can’t go back to any male lead she’s ever worked with.’ And that’s because she’s a goddamn nightmare. It’s a shame, because she’s talented. She has a shot at being Julia Roberts, but she’s headed towards becoming Jennifer Aniston — someone who works regularly, but who could have been a superstar.”

A MANAGER’S VIEW: “So far, [she and her manager mom] have sent this message: She’s expensive, and she’s unpleasant to work with. It looks like they’re going for a ‘quick burn’: Make as much as you can, while you can. I’ve always felt the way to longevity was quality, not a bunch of romantic comedies in a row just because they pay big. I already feel like the audience has tired of her [in that genre]. She needs to make it an event to go see a Katie Heigl movie. I don’t know if she has the acting chops to do other things, but she needs to do other things, and to work with great directors.”

A PUBLICIST’S VIEW: “She’s almost her own worst enemy. You have to be so careful which outlets you’re going to put her with. Always do the safe stuff: Leno. Today. You need someone on your side. Because Katie’s just a risk.”

THE RUNDOWN: Is Heigl worth the headache? Since Heigl is unlikely to ever land another network series or Judd Apatow comedy, she’d better hope her audience loves her in Killers or her next project, Life As We Know It, about a couple that inherits an orphaned baby. If either one hits, she’ll be well-established as this generation’s Meg Ryan, and studios will overlook her drama for a while. But if both films bomb, well, let’s just say she hasn’t earned a lot of get-out-of-flop-free cards in the industry. And there are already troubling signs that she’s priced — and talked — her way out of her rom-com throne.

And as an interesting note, Heigl’s personality clashes could have a much wider effect on Hollywood. As one agent explains, male actors are more powerful than actresses in attracting moviegoers. So while Heigl can get a movie green-lit on her own, studios still want to hire a notable male co-star. However, as the other agent noted above, none of the actors who have worked with Heigl want to repeat the experience, which further shrinks the pool for every subsequent project she does, and slows down the development process. So if one of the only five actresses who can get a movie made can’t find a co-star, it markedly shrinks the number of movies that Hollywood can make. So much for sisterhood.

[From New York Magazine, Vulture]

As an outsider, I have some humble advice for Dame Heigl:

1. Try genuine humility. When apologizing, acknowledge your mistake, own it and sound heartfelt. Don’t deny, blame other people, or act snotty when apologizing. You are not God’s gift. You’re the only one who thinks you are.

2. Fire your mom. She’s clearly not giving you the best advice, and she doesn’t have respect amongst your Hollywood peers. You need someone who can kick your ass and keep you in line and tell you to STFU, and obviously, mommy isn’t doing that. Surround yourself with competent professionals who will tell you the truth.

3. Fire your stylist, or if you don’t have one, hire a really good one. I’d even appreciate it if you got Rachel Zoe. Red carpet appearances don’t always have a lot to do with box office, but your image needs a total revamp, and the big, dark hair, huge forehead and old-lady clothes isn’t reading “fresh young talent”.

4. More babies and more dogs. It’s the only time most people like you, when you’re talking about your baby or your dogs. You sound authentic, real and accessible.

5. Stop being a bitch. To everyone. If you can’t stop saying bitchy things, just stop talking. Pull a Garbo, and just stop doing interviews for a while. Don’t spend any time on the film set if you don’t have to. Stop repeating bitchy patterns.