It’s hard to believe it’s been almost two years since actress/singer Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and little nephew were brutally murdered by her estranged brother-in-law. Jennifer, who has since gotten engaged, had a baby boy and lost a lot of weight, has never spoken publicly about her ordeal – until now. Jennifer is the subject of a new VH1 “Behind the Music” documentary – and for the first time, she talks about the days immediately after the shocking triple murder that left her without most of her family.

Oscar and Grammy-winner Jennifer Hudson broke her silence about the dark days following the triple-murder of her mother, brother and nephew by her brother-in-law on VH-1’s Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson on Monday night.

“It’s all a blur, it was surreal,” the Chicago native, 28, said of the October 2008 killings. “It was like I was outside of myself — for almost two weeks straight … [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out, because of the press was everywhere and it was like, ‘Where’s Jennifer?'”

Hudson said she spent many days in seclusion trying to find herself after the tragedy, and even turned down a film role as she was struggling with her emotions in the wake of things.

“I was like, I have to get adjusted to who I am,” a teary Hudson said. “I can’t be another character if I don’t even know who I am.”

Last year, Hudson gave birth to her first child, a boy named David Daniel Otunga.

[From Radar]

It must be incredibly difficult for Jennifer to talk about this. But it also seems like Jennifer is in a really good place, both personally and professionally these days. Maybe talking about it now will help her move past it- as much as anyone can move past something so horrific. By the way, the man accused of the killings, William Balfour, is still awaiting trial and pled not guilty to all charges earlier this year.