“King of Queens” star Leah Remini and her husband have a four-year-old daughter who is still drinking up to six bottles a night and wearing diapers. Leah asked Rachael Ray – of all people – to visit her home and see what goes on with her daughter, Sofia Bella.
Leah Remini may have been tough as nails on The King of Queens, but when it comes to her nearly 4-year-old daughter Sofia, she’s a total pushover. “I’m very consistent; I give in,” says Leah. “My daughter runs the house.” Although Leah is conflicted about taking a stance that leaves her daughter in hysterics, she’d like to try getting Sofia off the bottle. “The problem I’m having with bottle-feeding is basically that Sofia drinks six or more bottles a night,” she explains, a situation that leaves her and her husband Angelo exhausted from handing over new bottles and changing diapers at all hours. Leah also recognizes there are potential health issues. “We’re hearing that it’s not good for her,” she admits. “In talking to our pediatrician, they almost fell off their chair when we said she’s still on the bottle. So I’m thinking maybe it’s not right.”
[From The Rachael Ray Show Online]
She’s thinking MAYBE it’s not right? What the hell! This kid is a pre-schooler, not a baby. And SIX bottles a night? I can’t help but think about how bad that is for her teeth, not to mention the fact that if she is drinking all that milk instead of eating actual food, she is not getting enough nutrients.
The other part of this equation that has me scratching my head is why Leah thought it was a good idea to go on the Rachael Ray show and let cameras capture her and her husband being completely bulldozed by their kid. Apparently, Rachael Ray, who has never had kids and is now suddenly defining herself as yet another Oprah, put Leah in touch with a pediatrician and a mom of three to give her some advice.
After her meeting with Dr. Ari, Leah and her husband Angelo decide to try and wean their daughter. They get some pointers from one of Rachael’s viewers who is a mother of three. “You’re not going to like a lot of things I’m going to say,” Stacey Lewis tells Leah. “Children need consistency and they need structure. This is going to be tough work but we’re going to get it done.”
For their first night with no bottles, Stacey suggests some tough love and says if Sofia has a tantrum they can offer her water in a bottle with no nipple. They decide to give it a try, but only last a few hours when Sofia has a fit. “We’re definite pushovers and at the end of the day you have to follow your heart,” Leah says. “Sofia was crying again for a bottle of milk and then I started crying I think because I felt so bad,” Leah says, and they give her the bottle. “It just doesn’t feel right for me to have a screaming baby and to say no to a bottle.”
Leah and her husband are Scientologists, and if the rumors are correct about the parenting style involved with that cult/religion, babies are supposedly already born knowing everything, and are treated as little adults. But how does that explain treating a four-year-old like an infant? I think it’s because Leah waited so long to have a child, and this is probably the only one she’ll have, so she is holding on to those “Baby” years for as long as humanly possible–which is not doing the kid any favors.
Note by Celebitchy: Leah Remini and her husband are shown at the “Over Her Dead Body” premiere on 1/28/08, thanks to PRPhotos.
Part of me thinks it’s none of our business if she still lets her kid drink a bottle and wear diapers as long as she’s well cared for. Since she invited cameras into her home, though, I guess it is our business.
Suri Cruise also still drinks from a bottle. Yes, she’s only two, but most doctors will tell you that even that is far too old for a child to be still drinking from a bottle. At some point you have to take a step back and question whether or not the parents’ actions are harmful to their child.
I’m sorry but a diaper wearing preschooler who is still on night feedings is not “well cared for”. Especially if she’s drinking all that milk. Did you see her pics on dlisted?
The little girl is overweight, bordering on obese and studies show a child who is overweight that early in life will likely struggle with her weight for the rest of her life.
Leah’s inability to set some kind of boundaries for her child borders on child abuse. This child will be a spoiled, hot mess now that she’s gotten the message loud and clear that mommy will put temporary happiness and quiet over the long term health and well-being of her child.
That is completely ridiculous! In my mind that borders on child abuse!
Maybe they let her behave like that because they think that she is choosing too, ya know, cause she is a tiny adult.:roll:
Get outta my head, headache! 🙂
Kids need to know & undersand the rules, plain & simple. I recently went camping with some friends & their 4 yr old. She wasn’t an angel by any means, but she knew when she was being bad & she knew she deserved time out in the tent for being bad.
My daughter just hit the 2 year 4 month mark, and we were worried she was falling behind because she still has a bottle with her nap.
I don’t feel so bad now though, at least she uses a freaking toilet. Kids tend to live up or down to your expectations, and these parents really need to start expecting more from their daughter.
It’s a shame she’s a Scientologist, I really liked King of Queens.
whoops, I got flagged for spam for putting in a link. 😳
Anyhoodle, the jist of my post was that Scientologists aren’t the only ones who believe in the mini adult concept. There is a movement called Attachment Parenting that also fosters this your child knows best, make sure they are always happy and the center of your life parenting philosophy. One of it’s biggest proponets is Dr. William Sears who contributed alot of crap to some of the biggest parenting magazines.
He may not anymore. I stopped subscribing after I made the correlation between the crappy AP books the lady I was a nanny for used like the Bible and his advice columns.
Funny how most of the people who adhere to this schlock have nannies, isn’t it?
That kid is going to have some jacked up teeth. I know thumb-sucking messes up the teeth so I’d think regular bottles at 4 would do similar damage. Plus, if she’s in diapers still and still drinks bottles, she’s probably still sucking her thumb. So I hope Mom and Dad budget 5 or 6 years of braces into the family checkbook
I read that story in my mag this week, and was appalled, not only at the childs behavior, but at her parents complete ignorance of it! This girl will be a spoiled, unhealthy brat if they don’t fix this. Kids require boundaries, they thrive on them.
there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many people who should JUST NOT BREED. PERIOD.
Hold on Headache. I am an attachment parent and I think that you are misrepresenting the philosophy. It’s about meeting your child’s needs quickly and in a loving manner to build trust. When Remini is being inconsistent she is not developing trust, when she is giving in and letting the child parent, she is not developing trust. As an attachment parent my kids know what the boundaries are, and the rest of the time they get as much hugging and kissing as possible, so that they know that limits and discipline come from a place of love.
And no, I don’t have a nanny.
I feel VERY SORRY for this child because she has TWO IDIOTS for so called parents. This child will surely end up in serious trouble one of these days another Lindsey Lohan. I raised three loving, responsible, educated and most of all good people all boys on my own. They had boundaries discipline and love. But they always knew mom ran the show period!!
I know she thinks she loves her child and she probably does but in order to prove that love she HAS to start adding some actual “parenting” to that love. That includes raising the child to be a healthy toddler, pre-schooler, etc. She has to let the child grow up…
it´s a scientology thing. leah doesn´t want to be a “surpressive person” herself so she spoils her daughter. thing is, raising a child comes with strictness.
Wif, I’m happy to hear that you are able to balance that. Many parents who follow that philosophy are not, at least all of the ones I have met are not. They are tired, overworked and slave to their child’s every beck and call and their children are selfish, temper tantrum throwing hot messes.
I’m sure when Leah feeds her child 6 bottles a night she feels she is meeting her child’s needs quicky and in a loving manner. In fact, she seems to think it a violation of her child’s trust to allow her to cry.
And as I said, most have nannies, not all.
Woah. I consider myself an attachment parent too. It’s not about giving my children whatever they ask for and being friends with them. It’s about respecting their voice, their needs and guiding them through life with love. Which means lots of love, lots of family bonding times, lots of understanding when we’re learning things – consequences good and bad. They definitely know boundaries, which never change. It’s about validating their feelings, their needs, their voice (I didn’t do any cry-it-out – not at bedtimes or tantrums, I don’t spank, I’ve used time-outs like twice in 2.5 years, I don’t let them eat junk food, I limit tv time, etc) but their needs are being fulfilled in a respectful loving manner. It’s not about giving into every whim and want.
Which is definitely NOT what Leah Remini is doing.
That “attachment” parenting style sounds basically like…parenting. I have three children, none on bottles or in diapers since they were – at most – two years old, and every discipline issue comes from love. Where I draw the line is what’s in the best interest for my child, versus what my child just wants.
Leah Remini is an idiot. Her child could end up with rotten teeth, self-esteem issues from being in diapers so long, as well as a myriad of other problems. She sounds like she might as well just chain that kid to the nursery – she doesn’t want her kid to grow up. I totally echo everyone here who pointed out child abuse. There is something really creepy going on in that house.
And don’t even get me started on Rachel Ray. She is such a total and complete moron. Why ANYONE would ask her for parenting advice borders on total retardation. She needs to shut the hell up about kids she’s too busy and famous to have, and cook something. Oprah she is not.
I think it’s just lazy parenting. Which has nothing to do with being loving or violating trust, it’s about an easy life for yourself. You don’t want to have to listen to the screaming and whining when they don’t get their way (in this case their bottle) because it gets in the way of YOU getting on with what you want to do. If you really love your kids you find ways to be firm with them. Saying “no” shouldn’t mean a loss of trust. In fact the opposite: children thrive when they have a framework of rules. It helps them figure out their place in the world.
And as for a child of that size sleeping in a sodden diaper all night…I reckon even Britney would figure out that’s not in the kid’s best interests.
Oh Carrie, but she isn’t sleeping in it all night. She’s waking up every hour or so for a new bottle. That’s what’s insane to me!
There are far more kids out there than we’d like to think who are falling asleep on the sippy cup or bottle as well as wearing pull ups to bed. It’s the night time feedings that are killing me.
And for everyone else, look up Attachment Parenting. It’s not for everyone, it’s far more permissive than I would favor but only extreme cases lead to this kind of crap.
diapers?! At FOUR?! Is she nuts? She must love changing diapers! Do they even make diapers for kids that age or is she putting the child in adult diapers?
My daughter is 2 and 1/2. In panties. She occasionally has an accident, but no way would she tolerate diapers.
And bottles, at night? Horrible, horrible, horrible. Ms. Remini needs a serious wake up-call.
I know on Cribs, when they visited Remini’s house, she said that their daughter slept in the bed with them. I wonder if that’s still happening.
Time to kick the kid out of the bed and if Remini can’t handle it, set her up with a nanny who knows that her job is to get the kid potty trained and weaned from the bottle. They have the money to do it. It might not be the hands on way to parent but obviously Remini and her husband aren’t capable of being the kinds of parent this kid needs.
The mother needs a shrink! I can see one parent being disfunctional, but both? Why didnt the father say something?
I get your point Headache, but she must still pee herself and sleep in it for periods if she’s awash with milk round the clock. A lot of four year olds aren’t dry at night but if you’re pouring in liquid at the top end you’re perpetuating the problem. A girlfriend of mine couldnt get her son out of pull-ups til he was about seven – and she did it by stopping his bedtime drink.
My two kids were both off the bottle around the age of one and night feeds stopped at that point too. It wasn’t hard – if you have a clear idea of what you’re doing and then don’t waver from it, children quickly get the message. They understand what’s expected of them and it becomes a non-issue.
As for the fact that she’s a Scientologist – well, it just adds a whole other layer of wrongness.
Unless Rachel Ray is now a scientologist, I call bullshit on the entire story. When do they start letting non-scientologists help them with anything?
Persistent Cat, Leah herself was interviewed saying these very things. There are NO WORDS for this story and how unbelievably ridiculous Leah’s parenting style is. It really makes me sick.
bet the bottle isn’t always filled with milk. granted, she stressed milk that time on camera, but i bet often it’s filled with pop or juice or chocolate milk, something sweet.
In Us Weekly, she said 1 bottle was milk and the rest were water. She even said they lay multiple towels under her for when her diapers inevitably leak continuously thru the night and they just “roll the towel over” so they don’t have to change the sheets.
Persistant Cat, she was on the show. There is tape of it out there.
In addition to being a Scientologist she is also an attention whore and best friends with J.Lo. Methinks homegirl did not realize this really is a problem and was under some kind of delusion that every four year old has midnight bottle feedings.
I agree with poster #16…it’s total laziness. It’s easier for them to just change her diaper occasionally than to go through the rigors of potty training.
My nephew and his wife are the same way. Their daughter is three and still in diapers. We see them socially all the time and I have never once seen them attempt to take her to the potty. They wait until she picks and pulls at her soiled diaper and then they change it. It bothers me to no end.
My daughter was toilet trained very early..we started her at about 18 months and by her second birthday…she was proudly using the potty by herself. Now a days I hear a lot of crap out there about how some child psychologists say that potty training traumatizes children so let them do it on their own….as late as 4 yrs old. That is such BS. Is it traumatizing for a kid to learn to eat with a utensils instead of his fingers?? Or or to learn to speak instead of saying goo goo gaa gaa?? I think it’s more traumatizing for a kid (and at age 3-4 they are kids, not babies) to sit in their own soiled diaper than to be sat on the potty.
These people are setting their kid up for problems.
Headache, I just wanted to respond , again :), to when you said, “Many parents who follow that philosophy are not, at least all of the ones I have met are not. They are tired, overworked and slave to their child’s every beck and call and their children are selfish, temper tantrum throwing hot messes.”
Most of my friends (and I) are attachment parents and not one of these children is a tantrum throwing mess. It is not the parenting choice for everyone, but it is a valid one, and if it is chosen these children are not doomed to be spoiled brats. Permissiveness is about catering to your child’s wants, not meeting their NEEDS. It’s a big difference. I suspect that many of the people that you are referring to are abusing the philosophy. So please don’t paint it with such black and white strokes because there is beauty in it. And for those who haven’t yet had children, I don’t want them to think that it is something that it isn’t.
Agree with Wif: I think distinguishing between wants and needs is at the heart of the issue. Leah clearly hasn’t worked that out. But it’s kind of important, because if your kid grows up not understanding the difference….well, they turn into Lindsay Lohan.
ok, i don’t have kids but even i know enough that a 4 year old should not be drinking from a bottle (isn’t this about the time sippy cups are in use?)and she should definitely NOT be wearing diapers! leah rimini sounds like a moron. she’d better get some control or her kid is going to be a real brat. just the type i will end up sitting next to on a plane.
It just shows how out of touch with reality these “stars” are. If my kid were a fat little pork chop hooked on the bottle and wearing diapers at 4, I wouldn’t be tellin’ anybody that sh*t!
That’s fine, wif. I’m glad it works for you. But I’ve yet to meet parents who actually agree that their children are out of control. Most parents, good or bad, regardless of their parenting philosophy are highly defensive. Which I understand. I can be as well.
But just as you would like for me to not paint the philosophy in broad stroke, I would like for you to not paint it with everything that is sweetness and light.
Because the next time some four year old chucks their bottle at my child’s head and the mom speaks all softly to the poor traumatized, sensitive, needs met instantly child, I am probably going to go chuck norris on her ass.
something must be wrong with this child. A four year old in diapers in not at all normal. Maybe there is a mental defect (remember Scientology won’t recognize such a thing) and this is a way to minimize the “situation”.
No one in their right mind gives a 4 year old a bottle and keeps her in diapers. This is a v v good indication (as if we didn’t already know) that scientology is not only full of crap but dangerous
I am a mother of 4 (9, 6, 3, 4mo) and it baffles me how someone with so much can be so…LACKING when it comes to common sense!
A 4 year old in diapers? Drinking from a bottle…SIX times a night? Sleeping on pee soaked towels? If that’s parenting, I’d hate to see what they call discipline!
When you love your child, you have to know that the easy way isn’t always going to be the best way. It would be much EASIER for me to let my kids eat whatever they wanted for dinner, but I don’t. It would be much EASIER for me to let my kids go to bed when THEY wanted to, but I don’t. It would be much EASIER for me to let my kids behave the way they wanted to, but I don’t. Parenting isn’t about what’s EASY. It’s about what is RIGHT.
Letting a child rule the roost isn’t RIGHT. Far too many of THOSE kids exist already, and their existence only makes it much harder to parent because of the “but they get to do it” syndrome.
Shame on Leah. Scientology and its role in this be damned because stupidity exists in all religions, faiths, and cults.
Mind….boggling… 😯
I don’t have children but even I can see that their “policy of parenting” is demented. And lazy. Very very few people don’t have their heartstrings pulled by a child in distressed – but it’s nothing that can’t be controlled by sticking to their guns and investing in ear plugs. I’m not sure if Scientology has anything to do with it – unless of course they’re subscribing to the mini-adult let them do it in their own time codology.
And please, Journey – don’t even joke about there being sugary drinks in that bottle. I think I would have to hunt them down and scream at them for that level of idiocy. 😡
I refuse to believe that what Leah Remini is doing qualifies as Attachment Parenting. It sounds more like non-parenting to me.
headache: Just so you know, there’s nothing in the (non-existent) Attachment Parenting rulebook that says that you have to allow your kid to hurt others with no consequences. My husband and I have never let our son “cry it out,” we give lots of hugs and affirmations, and we always take pains to explain the reasons behind the things he has to do (e.g. “You need to brush your teeth before you go to bed so your teeth don’t rot.”), rather than saying, “because I told you so.” According to most of our peers, we’re attachment parents. However, along with all of that openness comes very strict rules when it comes to respecting and caring for others. If he throws *anything* indoors, whether at someone’s head or not, it’s an instant time-out. Parents who don’t enforce rules like that are just being irresponsible.
I’ve watched the video clip on the rachel ray website. I’m actually angry now. These unadulterated idiots have spent the last four years pandering to their poor poor child, and to hell with the consequences.
Did you see the nasty defensive puss that Leah put on her when the doctor started speaking? She “wanted to hear what (she) wanted to hear and that’s it!” And what sort of a clot is that presenter agreeing with her?
They’re probably only coming crawling for “help” now that their child has to go to school soon and nobody is willing to take on a child which is persistently allowed to be a hellion! Or they want a quick dose of publicity.
You can see it that they are refusing to believe there’s a problem (“we don’t need sleep”) and just looking for quick answers for a superficially easy life. It should be entertaining when they try and put their foot down when the child is a teenager.
My heart goes out to the poor little girl. 🙁
I do not see anything wrong with letting a child cry it out. If I kindly explain to my 3 year old child that he cannot do something and he proceeds to have a fit, then go ahead. Sometimes we all have to let out our frustrations, especially young children who do not have the ability to verbalize and express their feelings. I am an adult and sometimes I feel much better after a good cry.
*high fives headache*
I’m not a parent, but I’m a teacher. This four year old will be in kindergarten in one short year.
Dear Ms. Remini: Kindergarten will be a very difficult time for you and your daughter if you don’t mom up soon. There’s no physical way to be the center of the universe in a room full of other five year olds, that’s going to be a difficult transition. Start now or pay later, with dividends.
I can’t speak on the parenting styles, I only have kids in seven hour chunks, but I am an advocate of strong parenting. Kids are smarter and more sophisticated than we ever were at their respective ages; more than any previous generation they need firm boundaries, clear expectations and an understanding that actions have consequences.
/rant 😀
just to note – us weekly stated that the daughter was actually not quite 4 yet, but almost. and many kids enter kdg at 6, not 5. i think leah’s parenting is WHACK, but i’m just saying – this girl is NOWHERE near going off to kdg.
oh my god. this is pathetic. Two things can happen Leah,…your child ends up in her own reality-gastric bypass special or she shoots you and your ass of a husband while you’re sleeping cause…hey! who needs to sleep anyway, right?
Actually, kids go to kindergarten if they have turned five before some arbitrary date the local school districts come up with, usually in September. Only children with late birthdays end up starting kindergarten at age 6.
I don’t know how it is in other states, but here in New York children have to be potty trained before they are allowed to attend school.
And I’ve never heard of attachment parenting. I’m 12 weeks pregnant now, and I plan on doing my best to ensure that my child lives a structured life, and that they know who’s the parent and who’d the child.
Kolby, they have some decent concepts. Don’t get me wrong. It is important to have a close bond with your child. You should research it and see if it works with your maternal intuition.
But I’m not entirely sure I need a philosophy to help me raise my children. Common sense, advice from doctor’s and other mothers along with instinct seems to be working well so far.
Headache – actually, in many states, you can start your child late, even if your child is 5 by the cut off date, if you feel your child is not mature enough academically, socially, or emotionally. In fact, many states have school for “young 5’s” meaning – COULD be in Kdg based on age, but for whatever reason are not ready for it. And, yes, if your birthday is late, too, you start when you are 6.
When other little kids tease her for still drinking a bottle “like a baby” the problem will cure itself.
Congratulations on your pregnancy Kolby. Hope it’s going well for you.
And Headache, I guess as far as our little debate goes, before I leave this thread for the evening, I just want people to know that there are options when it comes to parenting that we aren’t really told about by our doctors and the popular media. As a newborn, my eldest child screamed when she wasn’t held in arms, literally for hours (she’s 4 now, turns out she is brilliant) so I had to find a sling to carry her in, I had to take her to bed with us if I was to get any sleep. I didn’t go into parenting saying that I wanted a “philosophy” but then my daughter taught me to be an attachment parent. I thought we were a freak family, until I met someone who labelled me as an attached parent and I started reading about it. I would give anyone the exact same advice that you have above, go by your instincts, think about the long-term, know your options. This style of parenting is an option, that has it’s own challenges and rewards.
And I don’t think that Leah Remini is an attachment parent, just a twit.
And just to clarify, as if my earlier words weren’t clear enough. I never stated that I thought Leah was an attachment parent. But that attachment parents do ascribe to a similar parenting philosophy as Scientologists, that a child inherently knows what is best for them and that we as parents need to allow them to lead us.
To me that is the antithesis of parenting. If my children knew what was best for them, they would have fallen out of the uterus with job interviews scheduled and rent money. There is a reason why more than any other species, human babies are born completely dependant upon their parents.
First of all whos to say that she is a bad parent, some parents to the same thing she is doing. Just because she is actress doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have problems. Yes I think that her daughter needs to stop drinking 6 bottles. Maybe 1 at night and thats it. I have a six year old and I give her milk in a sippy cup to goto sleep.Thers nothing wrong with that.
Hell, I keep a glass of water on my bedside table & have done so since I stopped having bottles of apple juice at bedtime. There isn’t anything wrong with a beverage at bedtime.
What is wrong is that Remini is stunting her daughter’s development by refusing to make her grow up. Unless she really does have some developmental problems that child should be a pro at using the potty & sleeping through the night
I do think that it’s every family’s right to choose the kind of dynamic they want to establish in their own home, and it’s presumptious for outsiders to assign a label of right or wrong (unless apparent abuse is occurring), but I also have a problem with parents that recognize an issue, complain about it to others, but then can’t follow through on a course of action that would be beneficial to both them and their child. This situation reminds me painfully of a couple I know who have had tremendous difficulty with the attachment parenting philosophy. I think they would probably fall into the category of those who take it way too far, as other posts have mentioned. I was actually a caregiver for their second child who was nursed on demand 24/7 until he was older than three (even though he had to have his front teeth removed at two because of damage from caries), took naps and went to bed at night only if he was taken out for a ride in a car, only recently at 3 1/2 moved from his parents’ bed, decides for himself when he needs to be bathed or change his clothes, and is still wearing diapers, although his mother is desperate for him to go to preschool in the fall. What bothered me so much about the situation (other than my own difficulties with caring for a child being raised this way, all my kids had much more of a structured schedule) was the constant complaining from the child’s mother about having to meet those kinds of demands. Although she was completely unhappy with the results of their chosen parenting philosophy, she was incapable of making changes, partly because of her husband’s insistence, partly because it became just too easy to give in to whatever her child demanded. This continued dynamic resulted in a yearlong downward spiral for her that began with a visit to the hospital with severe panic attacks, and spun out of control into more manic-depressive episodes, before she landed in the hospital again with exhaustion and aggravated anxiety disorder. Now through a combination of increased medication for herself, some behavior modifications for her child, like weaning and moving him into his own bed, and having her husband take more of an active care-giving role (a whole other story in itself, but suffice it to say their parenting method had quite an emphasis on maternal care or surrogate maternal care, namely me) this family is slowly pulling itself out of the pit they had fallen into. I share this story with you as a warning to those parents who are having difficulty with whichever method they choose to raise their children with, the “method” itself is not the culprit, but ignorance and inaction in the face of a family problem or crisis that requires change certainly can be. Seek help from friends, advice from support groups, get professional assistance if necessary (not sure if Rachael Ray qualifies unless they’re thinking the bottle thing is an eating disorder?!?), but do whatever needs to be done to make the change happen before serious damage occurs. Our family is the place where we least want to make mistakes in life but all too often becomes the place where we make the most mistakes. But even a mistake can have purpose if you learn from it and it helps you to grow as a parent.
Headache, the attachment parenting philosophy of responding to and meeting the NEEDS (not WANTS) of the child applies only to the FIRST TWO YEARS OF LIFE. A child of FOUR is not a baby, and in attachment parenting, **the rules change as the child’s cognitive awareness develops**.
This idea where you state that attachment parents (I practiced it when my child was a baby — he’s ten now and a very *independent*, thoughtful, compassionate, well-liked kid who does well in school) think of their children as “little adults who already know everything” is a gross mischaracterization of what Attachment Parenting is. What it actually does is to promote a strong, trusting bond between parents and child, which sets up a foundation for healthy relationships with others in the future. It does NOT allow the child anything he or she wants; in fact it is easier to set limits with a child who has complete trust in you than it is to do so with one who does not.
Leah Remini, on the other hand, probably followed L.Ron Hubbard’s advice of limiting her contact with her child, not talking to her or spending any time bonding during the first week of Sophia’s life. Consequently, she probably has a lot of trouble making the distinction between “wants” and “needs” that she otherwise would, and also consequently, she is screwing up her child.
Lastly, Dr. Sears is still a vastly respected authority on attachment parenting, but he is far from the only one. I suggest you take a look at his website (and you might want to check out “Mothering” magazine and La Leche League) before casting such incorrect dispersions on someone’s philosophy and life’s work.
Hey Kolby,
Congrats on your pregnancy! I’m a nanny here in the city & I want to tell you how important it is to be consistent with routines & scheduling. The first couple of months are going to be tough, but honestly stick to a routine. Babies need structure! I really enjoyed reading your post. You’re going to make a fine mother! It’s so much fun!
Celebrities should NOT be able to have kids- they are way to in love with themselves to even notice what is going on with the kids.
i cant even believe this post. Wow
Being a parent means being tough sometimes. That’s how life is, tough sometimes. This is a tough woman who needs to be a tougher mother. Mom didn’t get to this point in life without hard work and she had to work for everything. Now she needs to do hard work, parenting, to make sure her daughter can handle life. I think she knows she wrong, but I hope she realizes this is NOT GOOD for her daughter. And 4 yrs old is not a baby anymore, so stop calling her a baby. Have another baby if you have to keep babying someone. You have less time to be so preoccupied when you have more than one.
isn’t the child going to have major bladder control issues from all this?
along with a huge over-bite
very sad
In my opinion, her parenting tactics, or lack thereof, are just plain lazy. It’s easier to just give in. I don’t believe it has to do with “Attachment Parenting”, Scientology, or anything else.
However, a blogger made a good point when she said that something may be “wrong” with the child and she may not be developing mentally. In which case, Scientology would not recognize or claim that there is a problem. If that is the case, and her belief in Scientology is hindering the child from receiving adequate care and rearing, I would consider it a form of abuse.
I know a lot of people won’t agree with me on this. But I don’t believe in Attachment Parenting or any other LABELS or FORMS of parenting. If you love them, give them what they need, and what they want (within reason), always put their health and safety first, and do what’s best for them despite the temper tantrums. It’s all just PARENTING. I have 2 daughters, ages 11 and 7. I use the tactics that work best depending on the situation. They are familiar with spankings, time-outs, being grounded, etc. All the while, they receive plenty of hugs and affirmations of love. I think society today puts too many labels on things and people feed into it. If you raise your child with the sole intention of NOT doing what your parents did, it can be labeled REFLECTIVE PARENTING. If you communicate with your child by using sock puppets, it can be labeled IMAGINATIVE PARENTING. If you allow your children to believe that aliens live in the garage…guess that’s EXTRATERRESTRIAL PARENTING. Please, it’s all just parenting.
Forget money in the budget for braces, how about money in the budget for teeth! Milk has sugar in it, alot! Sleeping with a bottle in your mouth rots your teeth. Mr. Tooth Decay is taking up residence in this little girls mouth. Not only will her baby teeth be rotten, her permanate teeth will come in rotten.
Just want to throw my two cents in, in spite of arriving very late to this party. My husband and I made the extremely difficult decision together, when my son turned 10 months old, to let him “cry it out”. This was after we sunk into a one hour nighttime routine of rocking, singing, more rocking, patting, pacing, etc. We knew we had turned into a “crutch” and that he needed to learn to fall asleep on his own. Allowing him to cry it out worked fine – he is now a normal, well-adjusted, happy four year old who sleeps through the night, goes to bed at night without a fuss, does not suffer from separation anxiety, etc. Reason being, because when our son wasn’t “crying it out”, the rest of the time he was loved, held, talked to, and played with – not neglected. If you let a neglected child cry it out, that’s just more neglect. If you let a well-loved, respected child cry it out – and make sure they know you’re still in the house, just going on about your business and allowing them to go on about THEIR business of falling asleep – it’s teaching them to become self-reliant sleepers. Parents who allow their children to “cry it out” often get villainized and I just wanted to say that I’ve learned from experience that it works, and it shows the child that the parents TRUST the innate instinct that they were born with to sleep.
maybe there is something else going on with their daughter….like a disability. A lot of times kids who still do those things at that age have underlying devlopmental issues. I think that they should at least get her evaluated for some sort of developmental disorder. and just an fyi most kids dont potty train until age
3 1/2…contrary to what some people think. I have 4 children and while that is a bit old its not as bad as it could be. oh and another FYI most attachment parenting moms breastfeed not bottle feed. read dr.sears 🙂
From a clinical standpoint, Leah is lucky her daughter didn’t have a seizure and or die from a dangerously low sodium level. I did some nursing clinicals with patients with severe polydipsia. AKA an insatiable thirst. They were so thirsty they drank each others urine! It was determined by blood tests that these men could drink 96 oz of water before having a dangerously low sodium level. The average male weighs 190 lbs. Assuming Leahs overweight daughter weighs a quarter of that which is 47.5 lbs, she would only be able to safely drink 24 oz of water! Not the sometimes 64 oz or more that she was drinking. Shame on Leah for not listening to her doctor and for doctor hopping so she could hear what she wanted. She is lucky the outcome wasn’t horrible. I wonder if she puts her child in a car seat if she doesn’t want to sit in it. Or lets her play with matches if she wants to……..
Four years old and still using bottles? Diapers?!? 😮 This kid will be starting kindergarten in about a year. I’m not a parent myself yet, but MOST kids are off the bottle around a year old and potty trained between 18 months to 2 and a half. But 4? Come on!
Leah needs to put her foot down and stop indulging in her daughter’s lazy behaviour and to stop being lazy herself. So what if she screams?
Throw the bottles away, teach her to use a cup and toilet train her! A kid that age should be in underwear. 😯
So she might have to do more laundry from occasional accidents…it’s better than buying diapers and having the kid lie on pee-soaked towels. Parenthood isn’t about giving the kid what he or she wants…it’s providing them with a safe, loving, supportive home and teaching them to grow up into a good person. The kid will never learn anything if she continues to be pampered and spoiled.
Let’s put this in perspective. When I had an infant, she didn’t eat 6 times a night. At infancy, they are expected to wake to eat, pee and/or pooh, every 2 to three hours. Which, if you observe 8 hours, hell, even 12, that would be 4 bottles. Four very small bottles. Using the 12 hour guideline, her kid is getting a bottle every two hours. Seeing a photo of her kid, she does not need this.
As a parent, I use a mix of attachment and traditional methods. Mainly, instead of using a rigid dogma, I see what works and go with that. I agree that the child should find other ways to soothe themselves rather than using a bottle after the age of one. And as far as potty training, yeah, my kid took longer than some, but she is 4 1/2 and in underpants full time.
Sofia needs help.
Ok it’s her first child and she needs to figure this mom stuff out by herself. Who are you to judge? Her kids is fine. Give her a brake.
headache: How many AP parents do you know? Probably just that one, I’m an AP parent and know many AP parents…none of them have a nanny!
My birth parents had me in diapers and taking bottles until I was 5 years old.
It wasn’t the best thing for a child, and I was definitely spoiled as hell, but I didn’t suffer any long term effects because my grandmother stepped in and made some changes when she saw what was going on.
It isn’t too late for Leah Remini to step up and fix the situation. I hope for her daughter’s sake she decides to make some changes.
why is she still in diapers and why does she still need night feedings? the youngest kid i know doing that is my friend julia’s 2.5 year old….he is still weaned at night and her other six children are horribly upset about it because now he screams….this kid also doesn’t talk at all yet except for ‘mama, dada, petey, thomas, and, jelly’ and he has no idea what a toilet is….and he can barely walk, he is still carried everywhere. but a 4 year old that needs night feedings? can you even think about the teeth problems? and what about when sofia gets older and teased about…those things?
I just think it’s sad that people are so worried about what someone else does. This entire article seems a little bit too negative and I don’t really believe everything in the article. It has an obvious slant towards the negative. I guess people are still believing everything they read on the internet?? Really? How smart. I don’t trust any information that’s meant to get people riled up about discussing someone else’s business negatively. I, actually, think it’s pretty pathetic. People are so funny, how disgusted they get at other people and how appalled they are when I’m sure if we looked at their life, we could find quite a bit of dust under the rug. Get a life and stop believing everything you read. Why be so judgmental anyway? I just don’t get it, all of these perfect people and I haven’t met one yet…
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