Jessica Alba just killed whatever goodwill we had for the mullet dress

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Last night was the premiere of Machete at the Venice Film Festival. Once again, not an occasion for Lindsay Lohan’s triumphant, cracked-out return to the red carpet (more on her in a sec). Basically, the only people who came to Venice were the two “leads” – Danny Trejo and Jessica Alba, and the one of the co-directors, Robert Rodriguez. Oh, and Tarantino was there – I think he produced it, but he probably just showed up for his buddy. Anyway, all I really care about is Alba and this dress. I mean… I get it. Alba is a “fashion girl” now. She gets the most press from what she wears, as opposed to her acting or talent or even her personal life. But I’m getting the feeling that Alba is not up the challenge of being a “fashion girl.” She’s a lot like that other Jessica, Madame Biel, in that way. Although I will give Alba some credit – I think her style is generally better than Biel’s, but not by much.

So… the mullet dress. Why is this style popular? I’ve never understood. Ladies want to show off their legs in a short skirt, but they also want the drama of a long train. But that’s the fashion equivalent of a mullet – business up front, party in the back. And it’s just a cheesy look that I don’t care for, on any lady, really. January Jones can’t pull it off (at the Emmys). Neither can The Style Icon Cate Blanchett – her memorable mullet dress is 2007 Golden Globes fell flat, and she’s never gone mullet again. Learn from La Blanchett, Alba. LEARN IT.

Back to Lohan for a sec – according to Us Weekly’s sources, Lindsay wasn’t even invited to the LA premiere of Machete last week. She made a big deal about not going because she didn’t want to fall into a cracked-out cycle, and it turns out no one wanted her. Us Weekly’s source claims that director Robert Rodriguez was “frantically trying to track down her manager to make sure she didn’t go.” Meanwhile, a rep for the studio says that is “not true… She wasn’t welcome there.” Chuckle.

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Machete premiere pics, September 1, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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38 Responses to “Jessica Alba just killed whatever goodwill we had for the mullet dress”

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  1. meme says:

    Well it’s better than that hideous getup she had on yesterday with the feet trap shoes. But it’s still very very very bad.

  2. Diane says:

    Mullet dress LOL

  3. ME says:

    Hideous dress. She’s beautiful. The movie will bomb. All of her movies do. She can’t act. She needs to just quit it.

  4. bizzy says:

    as an ex-dressmaker, mullet dresses distress me because you can’t give any structure to the train. the skirt part of this dress is so stiffly supported, but the back bit just hangs there without even a lining. it looks like the dress is slowly dying, starting with the back.

  5. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    Oh Sweet Jesus Jessica Looks fabulous. Oh my goodness I have an actual tear in my eye. Valentino looks good on her. I think its kinda perfect for the theme of the movie. Its very goth-ish and dramatic. Jessica’s legs look lovely. I am in love with this dress. OMG I haven’t been so impressed with a dress since…I think it hasn’t been since the late 90s I was this impressed by a dress.

  6. Renee says:

    Can’t dress / Can’t act. What do you do?

  7. Missfit says:

    lmao @ mullet dress…good one. I think the dress would have looked better without the back part, she’s so pretty, uuggh,lol.

  8. The Hamm is My Dream Man says:

    I think it’s more party/easy access in the front and business in the back.

    Has the mullet dress become a trend? Please no. This dress looks like someone sewed together some old chiffon, feathers and bottle caps.

    Ick.

  9. K-MAC says:

    She looks incredible and I happen to like that dress!

  10. malachais says:

    IDK what’s going on with her style, but it looks bad in my opinion. The dress looks frayed and worn out, and her eyebrows…

    I was interested in this movie, but after watching the preview, it looks pretty sh-tty.

  11. Milan says:

    In this case Kaiser, I think you mean party in the front, business at the back…lol

  12. Michelle says:

    Is that dress made out of horse hair?

  13. Brooke says:

    I think she quite pulls it off here, regardless of anyone’s opinion of the style itself. That said, the Blanchett version was better executed.

  14. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    Well at least she isn’t wearing Louboutins. So tired of seeing the red soles on women’s shoes.

  15. Lisa says:

    I don’t like this bitch, but OMG! What shoes is she wearing? They are gorgeous!!

  16. bitca says:

    Well… this is better than the 12-year-old frilly frock w/the clunky shoes. <3 the strappy heels in these pix, & 2nd kitten tail re Louboutins, plus some. The ubiquitous heels w/front-end platforms stand out like clown shoes & suck every last bit of sexy out of high heels. Um; sorry about ranting, but the endless parade of Louboutin fashion victims is just too much…

  17. bagladey says:

    I like the dress. Is a divorce announcment coming soon for Jessica Alba?

  18. TruTru says:

    YUCK!!! she is pretty but she looks stupid–not a smart choice.

    I am sooo tired of her movies bombing, pick better scripts and take a acting class girly!

    Kaiser is right on this one.

  19. Isa says:

    Honestly, I hate mullet dresses. But this one doesn’t offend me quite as much as others have.
    I normally don’t like what Alba wears but she pulls it off here. She has beautiful skin.
    Oh but I think her hair is horrible. It looks like she just threw it up into a bun to go to the supermarket.

  20. danielle says:

    Oh, come on, her style is way better than Beil’s. Although I don’t like this dress either – but yesterday she looked fierce!

  21. allison says:

    awful dress but this girl would look great in a garbage bag. She is absolutely gorgeous, and if that were to change it would require putting a paper bag over her whole head and wearing some kind of tent to cover her entire body. She is just STUNNING.

  22. Ron says:

    Does anyone remember when Geena Davis wore the white mullet dress to the Oscars in the 90’s? She was beat with a whip in the press for that look and her career never recovered. It’s a schizo dress and always looks wrong.

  23. Jello says:

    I think she look gorgeous. Granted she can’t act, and she seems pretty bland, but she pulls in a certain demographic–the teenage boys and young men who drool over her bodaciousness. I hope she’s a good mom and has a strong family. Otherwise the vacuousness of Hollywood will eat her soul. Only the mega talented seem to get out alive. And even amongst them, there are many fallen soldiers.

  24. KellyBrynn says:

    you know, i actually like the dress, but i think it would work a lot better with a different fabric. the fabric is reminding me of a cross between mohair and something else gross. i like this mullet dress a MILLION times better than biel’s ‘i’m going to my 10th grade winter formal’ mullet dress.

  25. Sumodo1 says:

    Mullet dress! Brilliant new name for high-low. It’s a dress that makes a lot of sense for weddings, though, because you bustle the back and have a cocktail dress for the reception. But, in all practicality, not a red carpet look.

    I trick is, to have a fabulous lining to the train, so it frames the legs beautifully when the wearer stands straight. This dress should have done that. FAIL.

  26. JuiceinLA says:

    Let her try to deny her latina roots now!

  27. Cam says:

    I love mullet dresses (think I’m the only one here), they’re perfect for important occasions when you want to be elegant but also show your legs. I wore one at my sister’s wedding (two years ago, it was winter… I couldnt wear a short dress because it wouldnt have been appropiate), and I would wear one again without thinking. But this one just doesn’t… say anything! I don’t like it at all.
    And yeah… she’s very very pretty.
    And no, she can’t act.

  28. Alexa says:

    Nevermind.

  29. Solveig says:

    I like the dress and the colour suits her skin tone well, but she is so… mh… vapid?

  30. gabs says:

    I still havent forgotten when she tried to deny being latina. Latins still hate her for that. Now Rodriguez is the only one giving her jobs so shes a latina now! ugh.

    If I had to choose though, id pick Alba over Biel because she at least hasnt used a famous bf to get to where she is.

  31. Merry says:

    @ Kaiser. Tarantino is the jury Chief – is that how you say it? The one who directs and coordinates and manages the jury – at the Venice Film Festval; I think he has to attend pretty much every important screening.
    Agreed, Alba’s dress is ugly. It looks half decent from behind, though.

  32. OverIT says:

    The ONLY time I’ve seen a celebrity make a mullet dress work was when Nicole Kidman wore that Yves Saint Laurent strapless lavender gown with the big chandelier earrings at the Globes in 2003. She was so tall and had legs for days which was the only reason she pulled it off flawlessly. The color looked so great on her milky skin too…the dress that Alba is wearing looks like it was made of an itchy potato sack and then bedazzled last minute!! And I’m not feelin the fcuk me shoes with the dress either….

  33. Sally says:

    Well, her makeup looks good, at least.

    @bizzy: “it looks like the dress is slowly dying, starting with the back.”

    You almost made me choke on my tea! 😀

  34. albeli says:

    Ha! I hate mullet dresses.

  35. Liana says:

    hate the dress, love the shoes.

  36. aenflex says:

    she and the shoes are beautiful. dress not so much

  37. cara says:

    I used to get irked by her, but she’s honestly growing on me. I really think she’s beautiful. I mentioned this at dinner the other night, of course, celeb gossip, what else for dinner convo, and my kids reeled in disgust. They said she ruins every movie. They felt very strongly about it. My son, stood up, put his hands to his head saying, “Mom! haven’t you ever watched…..” (b/c/ no I hadn’t). Their big gripe is that she’s going to ruin Machete too!!! LOL. Whatev’, she must be at peace with herself because she’s been radiant lately.