Us Weekly has an interesting story about Jessica Simpson’s engagement this week in their print edition. Some of you may disrespect Us Weekly, but, like many tabloids, I tend to think Us Weekly does stuff about certain celebrities very, very well, and my opinion is that Us Weekly has great sources in Jessica Simpson’s camp, because they’re always breaking stories about her, and much of it turns out to be true. Anyway, the article is long, and at first it just seems like a glowing engagement story. Then it takes a nasty (and fabulously hilarious) turn. Here are some highlights:
*Jessica was pissed off that Nick got engaged before her. It brought out her “competitive streak” because Jessica thought “she would have beat him to getting married and being happy years ago.” Us Weekly describes Jessica as “unhinged” when she heard about Nick’s engagement.
*Eric didn’t know how to react when Jessica lost it. “He felt it was time to pop the question. I hear he got down on one knee and it was beautiful.”
*Jessica “isn’t making it a secret that she feels she’s paying the tab for her ex’s engagement bliss.” A source tells Us Weekly, “She really does feel Nick stole her money.”
*As for as Nick and Vanessa go, “neither of them care very much what goes on with Jessica” and they dislike how Jessica is “sucking them back into this drama.” Also, a source close to Vanessa says VM was “pretty shocked when this came out. She was definitely a little like, ‘Wow, she couldn’t even let us have our moment for a week?’”
*Then Us Weekly puts up a part called “Desperate Times” all about how Jessica has been thinking and talking about weddings for months, and how she and Eric went to a wedding a few weeks ago and Jess was sobbing through the whole thing.
*Jessica’s relationship with Eric started just because she didn’t want to be alone on her 30th birthday. “When Jessica met Eric, there was a chance he was going to reconcile with his wife. Eric and his wife were still very much in each other’s lives. Jessica swooped in and changed things.”
*Apparently, Eric “has his own money from investments” but his parents “are concerned this has all happened so fast. They don’t understand her world and wanted him to go to business school.”
*Joe Simpson apparently wanted to see Jess “married off” for a while and “Whenever she starts seeing a guy, Joe cracks jokes almost immediately about getting Jess a ring. That family is a pressure cooker the minute you step into it.”
*Also: Joe is making the engagement all about Jess’s career. He loves the attention it brings Jessica, and “he knows the timing means it’s money in the bank.” because Jess has a Christmas album coming out.
*Oh, most people around Jess think the engagement will be short, so she can beat Nick down the aisle. And most people expect this wedding will be bigger than her wedding to Nick.
Oh, Jessica. Something tells me (my brain) that you will regret this whirlwind engagement. And this isn’t the way to emulate…(coughhahahahaha) ANGELINA JOLIE.
u dumb hick u and ur papa joe didn’t want to sign s pre-nup when u and nick got married, remember simpleton…anyway when they divorce i hope eric gets half of ur money, she is such a little girl, poor thing.
I understand Kate Middleton asked the TSA to add Jessica’s name to the “do not fly” list.
None of this would surprise me in the least. And I just automatically assumed she would make it a quickie wedding in an attempt to beat NL and VM down the aisle. As for Nick “stealing” her money, just goes to show Papa Joe was right about one thing-They needed a pre-nup or some kind of financial agreement about their marriage. Maybe she will finally wise up and do the same for her marriage with Eric. I doubt this marriage will last longer than the one she had with Nick.
Edit: I’m curious what she would be saying if she had gotten Nick’s money? It sucks that it turns out this way, but if could have just as easily turned out the other way for her.
she’s such a dysfunctional piece of work. she really is.
nick is so over her & she’s still so NOT over him.
She’s emulating a Taylor Swift tune more than Angelina. Sheesh, Jess, have a little class.
I love how she thinks Nick stole her money so the solution is to get married to a total bum without a pre-nup. Genius logic.
She is pathetic.
Nick stole her money???? As far as I am concerned, he earned that money, having to put up with her and her father.
It certainly does seem like Jess’s engagement was in response to Nick’s. I mean could Jess really be so stupid to think that she thought she would get to the alter before Nick when her dating life has been so crappy? Nick has been with only person since his divorce.
I am not gonna be a judge and I never take US weekly at face value but with certainly celebs you can kinda see this being the case.
Also if Eric did decide to propose to Jess because she was freaking out about Nick, I think thats hella sweet. I feel like he wanted to rescue her and make her feel loved. I am a sucker for a knight and shining armor kinda guy.
I dunno gang, this kinda screams Vanessa to me. I guess the real proof will be seeing who has the “exclusive wedding photo” deal.
Nick stole her money? That was just the price of the Jackass gangbang she wanted in on. I can’t believe she lets stuff like this out there. How many Christmas albums is she really going to sell? Is it worth the hit to her character?
All these stories about Jessica’s reaction to Nick getting engaged are making me not like her. I’d been rooting for Jessica and believed that she was being treated cruelly by the media after reading comments that picked on her for innocuous reasons – like gaining a few pounds or not playing it cool when dating someone. But these recent stories since Nick became engaged make her sound like an obnoxious brat! It seems like Jessica and her family never cared a hoot about Nick and were just using him. And THAT thought disgusts me!
Bet Nick is breathing a huge sigh of relief that he is no longer a part of the strange Simpson clan!
I love that Papa Joe thinks the publicity surrounding Jessica’s engagement is going to make people buy her Christmas album. We’ve all heard her sing.
The funny thing is, I read the article and his parents actually have nice quotes about them in there and then Us Weekly goes on and tries to contradict those with “anonymous sources”. Also, Us Weekly said that Eric bought the ring, which is opposite of what this site was saying.
Also, I think its interesting that their sources know the interworkings of both families and what is going on in their minds, but they didn’t know anything about the actual proposal other than “I hear he got down on one knee”. You’re telling me all these people tell them everything EXCEPT how the damn engagement went down? Uh huh.
I think Jessica kicked an Us Weekly editor’s puppy one time. They hate her with a passion. I don’t particularly take them seriously.
She’s just the wrong kind of special. Specially stupid.
I love Jess. Her so purrrty, but I do think that she has a screw loose.
MJ FOR HGF!
i’m still chuckling about “something tells me (my brain)….”
Okay, I am sure I was the only one who thought Jessica was a good country star. I liked that song “come on over”.
But all in all, the truth is — money, fame and looks aren’t a recipe for happiness.
Marjalane: I was thinking the same thing, nothing could get me to buy her music, if that’s what you call it.
So let me get this straight. Jess becomes unhinged (and we’re talking about one small hinge) because her ex-husband, who she married thinking to piggyback on his fame, without whom she wound’t have landed a reality show that propelled her into the spotlight and who she dumped once she thought her star had eclisped his, had the gall to move on and get engaged to his faithful partner of many years and ‘beat her to getting married and being happy’.
And she feels she’s bankrolling this engagement because she didn’t get to keep all the money they earned as a couple (the show was called the Newlyweds was it not?) in their divorce?
And in response to her spitting her pacifier out of the playpen her ‘boyfriend’, whose existence is solely due to Jess ‘not wanting to be alone for her 30th birthday’ (how unique and special) and who put up with her nonstop sobbing at a recent wedding (bet the bride loves her) gets down on one knee and proposes?
And Papa Joe is the wedding planner who wants to exploit her engagement to the max as he ‘loves the attention it brings Jessica’ and its ‘money in the bank’ what with her Christmas album coming out.
Eric, if I was you I’d move those ‘other investments’ into an off-shore, numbered account and keep that application ready for business school Because once Jessica and Papa Joe are done ‘swooping in and changing things’ you won’t know up from down. Just like Jess.
@LA-It’s Knight IN shining armor. Not trying to be a b*tch (you caught me on a good day!) just want you to know how to use that term correctly.
Brenda, ITA
It’s crazy how much hotter Nick and Jessica were when they were together. Not just generally, they were LITERALLY hot as hell.
She’s one of the few people that make me think they’re genuinely stupid.
LOL Thank you Samigirl, I didn’t think I was spelling that right.
Lets take a pole:
Is there ANYONE out there who would actually buy a Jessica Simpson album? Hello?
Exactly @19 Stronzilla! Nick had more fame at the beginning of their marriage and more dough. She didn’t want a pre-nup because it would (she & Joe thought) be to her financial disadvantage. Then the worm turned and she got famous and, yeah, dumped Nick. From all accounts at the time, he was terribly hurt. But he moved on (with a tidy sum of dough–good for him). Jessica is a spoiled child and that is not pretty on a woman of thirty.
I think Love Angelina knows how to use the phrase “Knight in shining armor” correctly. Get down from your high horse already.
Frankly I trust NOTHING in this, save for the fact that Vanessa was miffed that her thunder was stolen. Magazines can print ANYTHING when they site “anonymous” sources and “insiders.” It’s pretty ridiculous journalism.
Typical…blaming someone else for her own doing. The engagement that is so out of “TRUE LOVE” is to shut her ass up, that’s what and most likely her money is convenient as well. I think Nick seriously loved her…this new guy Eric is way too soon, he’s like what…the 10th rebound? If women get with a guy for some ass because they do not want to be lonely for their birthday or holidays, then that’s desperately pathetic. This girl has her mom dad and family…she’s not THAT lonely, she’s very ungrateful for what she DOES have in her life. She was better off with Nick…BUT now he’s so much better WITHOUT her and so much cooler and happy with Vanessa.
Excellent post Stronzilla!
I think this story is ridiculous, the tabloids are always trying to create drama where there is none..the same goes with Jennifer and Brad..Jessica was over Nick long ago, its kind of late to cry that Nick stole her money..I call BS.
UM-TG, did you see any hatred in that? She put knight AND shining armor, so I just told her it was “in” not “and.” Stop being ugly. It’s unnecessary on HGF, The Holiest of all Celebitchy Days!
That’s bullshit. It’s thanks to the reality show and Nick that she even became successful for a period and was able to translate that into her clothing and shoe lines. Nick deserves that money for his participation in the show.
run eric run!!!!!
she is beginning to look like mike myers from the halloween movies in the face.
bwahaha it must be really freaky to have that attention wh+re joe simpleton as a father. no wonder jess turned out that way. i really wonder who smart eric is, or is he just a famewhore as well?
People can be really nasty it seems… always sitting back and judging others, it’s the very same people that I’m sure have never been through heartbreak. There is that certain someone that you pour yourself into, some would say first genuine love. I have no doubt that Jessica truly loved Nick and still does. The fact of the matter is that the age of when they were married.. he was ready to settle down..her career was just taking off. The same thing happened with my personal life. 6 years in a relationship and 2 months after our breakup he get’s a girl pregnant. Yeah you can say I was deeply hurt. I’m still bothered by it to this day…but one thing she isn’t doing that I did is to let go. Let go of him…when you do that, you invite in real love. I hope…she finds it one day. I’m not so sure it’s Eric.
@Brenda: ITA too.
Where does everyone (magazines, etc) get this info? As if!! I do not believe any of it…she hasn’t been with him in forever and they both have moved on get over it. People don’t hang on to exes that long, sheesh. I wish her the best.
I actually think this whole “poor, crazy Jessica Simpson” business works for her, just like “poor, man-deprived, Jen Aniston.” Obviously neither of them would ever have trouble finding men to marry them, they both have dough, it’s just their role in the gossip news machine. Sell that rag, US Weekly! Woooo!
Nick was entitled to 50% of the marital assets. He took less than that. He didn’t steal her money, they probably earned that $10 million he ended up with TOGETHER. She walked away from that marriage with far more money.
I have no respect for this broad, I use feel sorry for her, but she is just a spoiled selfish, has been with money. Good luck with that Eric
I haven’t heard Jessica Simpson sing but it can’t possibly be worse than Christina Aguilera screaming Santa so I’ll give Jessica’s album a go.
Hope she has learned some respect for the marriage vows since her marriage to Nick, although w/Joe as her example I doubt it.
Nick was the one who wanted a prenup and she refused because he had more money than her when they got married. Stupid twat.
At least Nick had her in her attractive days. Yeah I said it LOL.
Unattractive, untalented, and egomanical to boot. Why does America make people like this rich and famous???
I dunno, shes’ always so upfront. Usually with more than we want to know. I’m sure she’s doing just fine.
Why is nobody suspecting that she is pregnant?
She said on her twitter “maybe I should be watching Parenthood”. I think that is a dead giveaway. Papa Joe would never want her to have a baby out of wedlock thus the rush to the alter.
I want her to do well, but first she has to grow the hell up. And cut papa joe dead weight down a peg.
look, I don’t get the hoopla over this… as far as I understand, men are the ones who propose… perhaps her boyfriend had planned to propose for a while (as usually they do, I don’t know too many men who don’t have to think about this for a while before actually doing it) and it just so happened to coincide with that other unknown person’s engagement… not everything is some sordid conspiracy :-/
Amen Stronzilla and Lynne!
This is from TMZ at the time of the divorce:
“The couple amassed a fortune during their three-year marriage, in no small part because of their MTV reality show “Newlyweds” and the avalanche of endorsements and other deals that followed. Jessica refused to sign a prenuptial agreement, so under California law the assets — estimated at $36 million — are to be divided equally. So Jessica and Nick should each get $18.
Nick will take significantly more than the $1.5 million, but considerably less than 50%
As TMZ first reported, Jessica (we’re told at the behest of her dad, Joe Simpson) offered Nick a relatively measly $1.5 million to walk away from the marriage.”
Sounds like Nick may have only wanted half of what they earned together from the reality show and didn’t want any of the money from all her endorsement deals.
It also sounds like the sleazy Simpsons tried to cheat him out of it.
If she thinks Nick took a lot of dough, wait til this one gets done with her.
Good god! It’s all such a mess. How can she not see that there’s nothing real about her current relationship? It’s gonna end in tears.
My sister lost it when I got engaged, for the same psychotic reason. She is older and insane and has an imaginary competition running in her own head at all times.
So then she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum and they got married fast.
My fella and I set our date a year and a half after we got engaged, basing it on when all of our family and friends could get together in the same state at one time.
A year after that, we had a *cutting of the top tier of cake* thingy for our first anniversary, just standing in my mum’s kitchen cutting the cake and saying “Yay”, and my psycho sister threw a tantrum and snapped “I got married first!!” because apparently I wasn’t allowed to cut my cake on my anniversary. Or something. She’s an asshole.
Good Lord, CB Rawks, your sister sounds… interesting. I had an ex friend who had to “top” everything I did. When I appled to performing arts school, she did, too (never mind she had no specific talent or interest in anything they taught there). I made it, she didn’t, she freaked out. Then I applied to Tisch at NYU, she had to apply to Ivy League schools to top me. She ended up at Brown and was miserable. When I finally hooked up with the love of my life and we got engaged, she ended up getting engaged three days later. I invited her to the wedding and she declined, saying she was getting married the same day. Yes. She rushed her fiance to the altar so she could have her wedding on the same day and screw up mine. It didn’t work – most mutual friends came to my carefully and thoughtfully planned wedding rather than her slapped together thing. But I cut her loose after that. People are psycho.
Note to Jessica:
Do yourself a favor and stick with pale pink lipstick.
CB Rawks: I think your sister and my sister need to be locked in a cage and left to duke it out. You sister sounds like she just might be able to match mine in the delusional rage department, so it’d be a helluva fight. We could sell the event on pay per view and make millions!
A year after that, we had a *cutting of the top tier of cake* thingy for our first anniversary, just standing in my mum’s kitchen cutting the cake and saying “Yay”, and my psycho sister threw a tantrum and snapped “I got married first!!” because apparently I wasn’t allowed to cut my cake on my anniversary. Or something. She’s an asshole.
**********
I had to come back and read this to a friend. Yeah, your sister wins the delusional jealous psycho award, hands down. You can’t cut your cake on your anniversary because she got married first.
Hehee Thanks guys. 🙂
Yeah I don’t go anywhere near her anymore.
Liana I feel for you about your loony friend. Good choice cutting her loose. *high fives ya*
“Let’s take a pole”
Ahem. The word you are looking for is “poll”, meaning a vote. A pole is something that holds up a fence. Or something a stripper uses during a dance. Or, if capitalized, a person from Poland.
Jessica, red lipstick is not your friend. That is all.
she looks unhinged in that last picture.
@CB Rawks: I’m so sorry. I think it’s terribly sad that somebody would let a friggin’ competition (like a race to the altar, go figure?!?) get in the way of a relationship as important as sisterhood. You sound normal and adjusted, which is awesome. But at some point, that had to hurt that she would be that way. My condolences.
Umm…are Nick AND Jessica both wearing nice shades of pink lipstick in that top photo?