Jennifer Garner has just been cast as Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple?!?

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This news is horrific. To me. First, I have a confession: I’m an Agatha Christie-obsessive. I love Christie’s work, and I love film and television adaptations of Christie’s work. My first favorite Christie series is the Miss Marple collection – my second favorite is the Hercule Poirot adaptations, specifically with David Suchet playing the famous Belgian detective. As for Miss Jane Marple, the little old lady who loves her village of St. Mary Mead, loves to knit, and loves her garden… well, she’s just perfect. She’s smart as a whip, she notices everything, and nothing ever shocks her, not even bizarre murders with an S&M/lesbian bent. My favorite Miss Marple adaptations are the series currently being aired by the BBC and PBS, only my absolute favorite Miss Marple ever – Geraldine McEwen – has retired from the show, and was replaced by Julia McKenzie. McKenzie isn’t bad, she’s just not as cute and sly as McEwan.

So, obviously, I am part of the target audience for any kind of Hollywood “reboot” of Miss Marple, right? So imagine my displeasure when I read this morning that the reboot is happening… and that Miss Marple is getting a makeover. Guess who is set to play the little old lady who solves crimes in between knitting? JENNIFER GARNER. Ugh.

Disney has made a deal to revive the Agatha Christie mystery series staple character Miss Marple, but with one big difference: instead of the elderly spinster who lives in the English village of St. Mary Mead and solves mysteries as a hobby, the new configuration is for Mark Frost to script a version where Marple is in her 30s or 40s. Developing.

Update: Jennifer Garner will be the actress who puts a young spin on Miss Marple in Disney’s reboot of the Agatha Christie mystery series sleuth. The character had been portrayed by a long line of actresses who played Marple as an elderly spinster who cracked crimes in her spare time. Garner and her Vandalia Films partner Juliana Janes will produce a film that will be shaped as a star vehicle for Garner, the former Alias star who will next be seen in Arthur.

[From Deadline]

This makes me sick. The genius of Miss Marple as a character is that no one expects this little old lady to be so clever and so focused, and there’s also the idea that people will tell things (confess, if you will) to someone who reminds them of a grandmother. Jennifer Garner would be perfect for the role – in 40 years. Oh, and please God, don’t let them “modernize” the stories and character to the present day. Miss Marple is such a 1940s character, specific to immediately post-WWII.

Ugh, this is going to be so messed up. I hate Hollywood. Next they’re probably rape Hercule Poirot by casting Jake Gyllenhaal in a “reboot”. I HATE THIS.

Here’s McEwan, my favorite:

mcewan1

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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59 Responses to “Jennifer Garner has just been cast as Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple?!?”

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  1. Steph says:

    I can sort of see it Kaiser

  2. cici says:

    i hear you. Not quite on the same scale but I freaked out when I heard Jaden Smith would be the “new” Karate Kid, and yet that movie turned out decent enough and was “its own.” Maybe it will be ok. 🙂

  3. Marjalane says:

    Oh, I am ALL in with you on this one. This is such an injustice, and I am more than annoyed with Hollywood taking liberties with such a finely drawn character. I’m going to be pissy about this for awhile.

  4. Gwen says:

    No, no, no-no-no! That is just plain wrong!

  5. The_Porscha says:

    Ugh. I understand. It seems kind of pointless to redo it in this way.

    Also, does anyone know where I can find the most recent series online (in the U.S.)? I’ve looked but been fruitless.

  6. brin says:

    Oh I don’t get that at all! Why do they have to mess with English classics? She is wrong for Miss Marple.

  7. Jane says:

    I don’t remember Agatha Christie writing how you can bounce a quarter off of Ms. Marple’s ass…. Why not just call her an old Nancy Drew, this an Epic Fail!!

  8. mln76 says:

    Well I liked Garner way back when she was on Alias and she was great at disguises and action and I have been itching for her to do TV again, but really there are so many actresses over 50 who have so much more talent and gusto and would be a better fit….Glen Close comes to mind.

  9. EdithP says:

    I’m with you Kaiser, both in your love for Agatha Christie and the horribleness of this casting.

  10. tmbg says:

    Hyuk, this has to be the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. When I think of Miss Marple, I think of Joan Hickson’s portrayal, such as her performance in “A Murder is Announced” in 1985. It was perfection and exactly what I always envisioned Miss Marple to be like.

    Jennifer Garner? That’s just crazy.

  11. Leek says:

    Why don’t they just write it and give her a different name and title? It’s not the same thing. I’m so sick of her stupid faces she makes constantly puckering her lips to look more full and sexy. Uuugh…

  12. Addie says:

    So sorry Kaiser. I feel your pain.

    What has happened in the recent past to make Hollywood so unoriginal? Do they still have story writers
    Why does everything that has some sort of legacy have to be remade, Sometimes even months of each other(Snow White anyone)

    Seriously, will they now re-do something like Power Rangers next

    Good greef!

  13. Granger says:

    Next they’ll be doing a reboot of Sherlock Holmes with Angelina Jolie in the title role.

    I agree with Leek: If someone wants to create a murder mystery series with Jennifer Garner in the lead, then by all means, go for it. But to call it Miss Marple is ridiculous. There is just no point.

  14. jinni says:

    Julia McKenzie was so great in “Cranford” and “Return to Cranford”, I might have to check out her version of Miss Marple.

    Is she going to have an English accent?
    There are so many crime novel/female detective book series starring characters in Garner’s age range that have never been adapted, why won’t she use one of those? Oh, I know because Hollywood doesn’t want to try anything new and will only fund things that have a pre-existing fan base.

    Why must everything be made new, youthful,sex-up, and hip?

  15. BW says:

    Is no one upset that Garner is AMERICAN, and Miss Marple is BRITISH?

    The age also bothers me. Miss Marple is the perfect part for older actresses.

    And what the hell is she doing to her lips? Learn to draw inside the lines, dear.

  16. Jane Q. Doe says:

    That’s ridiculous. I agree with you Granger – just write a mystery and cast Garner, why must we besmirch Miss Marple??
    Well, hey, then you can cast Ben Affleck as an Americanized Poirot, and they can be a couple! (ugh)

  17. lisa says:

    I WON’T WATCH.. I WON’T WATCH.. I WON’T FREAKING WATCH.

    NO NO NO NO NO..

    Why does Hollystupid think that every reboot has to be a younger actress or actor. There are tons of older women that would make this work. And Kaiser I will go back further..My mother got me into Ms. Marple.. MY favorite will always be Margaret Rutherford; so cute and yep she had a little sexy quality.. I know really.

    but I could name tons of other choices. I get them wanting to play on Gardner’s cute quality but I don’t see it and as unfair as it may be I won’t watch.
    ****************

    Man the comment about her lips made me recall a picture I saw of her where her lips were very thin. I had no idea she had done something to them.

  18. Dana M says:

    Oh no!! This is so wrong! I’m with you Kaiser.

  19. Guest says:

    I’m with you. Margaret Rutherford or Joan Hickson are my favs. Why doesn’t Hollywood update Angela Lansbury’s Bollocks She Wrote and use it as a vehicle for Garner.

  20. Micki says:

    Did the casting director think Miss Marple is a kind of Electra extention?
    How “modern” is it going to be? With some karate tricks or CSI lab work? Disgusting

    The caracter needs experience and common sense, therefore it’s an old maid. Honestly…I feel awfully old-fashioned.

  21. flutters says:

    I’m with you, I don’t like this idea at all. Doesn’t putting a “young spin” on Miss Marple defeat the purpose?

  22. Elise Marie Valcke says:

    This news is horrible. I’m a great Agatha Christie fan as well and Miss Marple should be like Christie wanted her to be! Indeed, imagine a younger Hercule Poirot-that’s my favourite- that would be an absolute crime!

  23. S says:

    WHAT IN THE? I CAN’T EVEN OMG.
    JUST NO. Sacrilege!

    McEwan was a delight, McKenzie is acceptable, but nobody can Marple like Margaret Rutherford.

  24. S says:

    Still, at least it’s not Gwyneth Paltrow…

    “By The Pricking of My Fish Sticks.”

  25. mire says:

    This is wrong! I’m a fan of Agatha Christie, I love Poirot and I love Miss Marple and, right now, I’m hating Hollywood!

  26. Solveig says:

    I felt this way when I found out that Hollywood was making a movie based on the Italian comic book ‘Dylan Dog’. As I supposed the movie sucks and the character in the movie is completely different from the original one.

    Ps: I know that Dylan Dog is not comparable to Miss Marple, but in both cases there’s a total betrayal of the real natures of those characters and their backgrounds.

  27. Someone Else says:

    Who do I need to start harassing to stop this?

  28. Waldemar says:

    Joan Hickson is the ONE and ONLY Miss Marple.

  29. LadyBert62 says:

    Why oh why oh why do they have to touch and destroy the classics! Leave Ms. Marple alone (and I also love Geraldine as Ms. Marple – perfect fit). This rethink/remake is awful and I think it will be a hugh flop!

  30. helen says:

    I know, and you’re right, but then I liked the new Sherlock Holmes. It ain’t even close to being Basil Rathbone, it’s just a whole other thing, so this might be kind of fun too? Either that, or a mass clusterfuck 😉

  31. soompi_er says:

    I have to agree with everything you said, Kaiser. I’m also a fan of Christie, her two famed sleuths, and Geraldine McEwan. And it is disheartening to learn that one of the most beloved detectives in mystery is being modernized and made younger! I wish they would cast an English, Scottish or Irish actor for the part. Nothing against American actors, but I have to question Garner’s English accent.

  32. Deb R says:

    ick and eeek!

    for me miss marple will always be margaret rutherford. i cannot have a sexualized, young miss marple!! that’s like seeing your grandma in a teddy! ok, i think i need to go to confession or something for even having that thought let alone writing it.

    man-face garner should go hose up something else. next thing you know they’ll make “are you there god, it’s me margaret” with kim kardashian as margaret.

    ick and eeek.

  33. Sue says:

    How great would Betty White be as Miss Marple.

  34. Ally says:

    I’m an Agatha Christie nut, too, but I much prefer Hercule Poirot to Miss Marple.

    I always feel that the Miss Marple stories pass off prejudice (certain people always act a certain way) as wisdom. HP draws on the individual psychology and relationships of the people involved, not generalizations, and the plots tend to be more clever and twisty.

    I think Murder at the Vicarage might be my favorite Marple, because at that stage her detection succeeds because she’s nosy, not because she generalizes accurately. Although I do like the plots of Nemesis, They Do It With Mirrors, and A Murder is Announced, too.

    Re: Garner, I imagine it will be along the lines of Becoming Jane, only about a fictional character and set in the 1930s — showing Marple’s big failed romance and her first mystery or something.

  35. Mika says:

    I’m disgusted. DISGUSTED. She’s not even talented playing a character her own age!!! GROSS GROSS GROSS.

  36. LBeees says:

    I can get behind this. It might be terrible, but who knows! It might be good!

    Think about Alias: high drama, plot twists, it was JJ before he got really good on LOST. And yet Garner somehow remained totally vanilla. So I somehow believe she could pull off a 70+ year old character and be credible.

    Miss Marple in her younger years. I can dig it.

  37. devilgirl says:

    My mother will flip out over this casting, and not in a good way.

  38. toto77 says:

    That’s suck
    This film will be a flop.

  39. Brooklyn says:

    I´m appalled and disappointed by this!! Why Hollywood does this? And Jennifer Garner..oh please ” insert eyeroll here” !

  40. hellen says:

    Is it just me, or is she starting to look like Hillary Swank?

  41. xxodettexx says:

    wow, this is almost on par with how i felt about the lead for the stephanie plum series being given to hiegel [and i actually liked heigel on grey’s – disturbing gizziegate notwithstanding]

    HW just loves to ruin our faves!

  42. I Choose Me says:

    I like Jennifer Garner but this is some bullshit. As a die-hard Agatha Christie fan, I will not be seeing this.

  43. jj says:

    I’m with you Kaiser! This blows. Hercule Poirot is my favorite Christie character, but I love Joan Hickson as Miss Marple. This will bomb big time because Christie fans will not accept this horrendous casting. I can’t stand Jennifer Garner as it is and I certainly won’t watch her “murder” Miss Marple.

  44. beth says:

    “Jennifer Garner would be perfect for the role – in 40 years”

    are they thinking of doing to her what they did to sherlock holmes – turn her into an ass-kicking (literary) anti-hero type? what are they going to do to replace the lost charm that was the original miss marple’s sweet old lady facade?

    miss marple in her younger years, i buy – id like to see how they’re going to pull it off

  45. Alarmjaguar says:

    Kaiser, I love that you love all things AC. That just made you so much cooler (hard to imagine) in my book!

  46. Alarmjaguar says:

    a thought – do we know for sure she’s being cast as Miss Marple? Maybe a reporter (certainly not Kaiser) messed up. There are plenty of young women in Christie’s books, sometimes even working with MM…what’s that one where the body was thrown out of the train and the girl volunteers to work at the manor house to find clues for MM… you know, the thing with the stuff at that place…

  47. Madison says:

    do we know for sure she’s being cast as Miss Marple?
    —————-

    Yes we do. “Garner and her Vandalia Films partner Juliana Janes will produce a film that will be shaped as a star vehicle for Garner”

    Disney bought the rights to Miss Marple and jennifer garner’s production company is producing it and she’s casting herself as the star of the movie.

  48. Sparkly says:

    I am extremely boggled and unhappy about this as well.

  49. Westcoaster says:

    Can Hollywood just leave some things alone and stop “re-booting” everything? Also has Hollywood run out of new ideas for movies?

  50. jingles says:

    I completely agree, the whole point of Miss Marple is that she’s a little old lady who is secretly a bad-ass crime solver! WTH why make her younger, it makes no sense! Not pleased Disney, not pleased at all

  51. dj says:

    Well it is clear that no one is Hollywood READS! For heaven’s sake this is a travesty.

  52. truetalk says:

    this is bad.
    this is VERY bad.

  53. bappi says:

    i´m shocked with this. it´s the most ridiculous thing I´ve ever heard

  54. Ariana says:

    I like JG but please, get a real little old lady to play the role. I’m sure there are many who would fit the bill.

  55. Debsa says:

    Bad idea…Hollywood needs some FRESH ideas and to stop wrecking stuff with a new retelling..The BBC adapations of Agatha Chrisite are just fine …

  56. Carol says:

    I am going to reserve judgment because I am stunned at how much I love the new Sherlock. But I don’t have the highest hopes here. . .

  57. Rachel says:

    We continue to be the same person: I adore Poirot, and Geraldine MacEwan is my FAVE Miss Marple.

    I can’t EVEN with this travesty. I completely deny its existence. :-p

  58. fanny says:

    I know, and you’re right, but then I liked the new Sherlock Holmes.
    ————–
    But Ms. Garner doesn´t have Mr.Downey Jr.´s charm and talent…
    I liked her as S. Bristow. A lot. But this one… NO, just no.

  59. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Oh god this … hurts … it feels like I’ve been stabbed and than run over by a truck. I’m with Kaiser … I loved Agatha Christie and I just don’t see Garner. She just doesn’t have the depth to play the character even if we were going to “youth” Miss Marple up a little bit which I see no point. The fun was her age, how this little old lady would be shocked by nothing but at the same time be prim and proper and so conservative.

    I’m normally fine with reboots but this one just needs to die and not happen. I’m going to file this in the same spot as the Pride and Prejudice reboot … it didn’t happen and I won’t acknowledge its existance.