These are photos from the Australian premiere of Thor, that film starring Australian nobody Chris Hemsworth, and directed by Shakespearean actor Kenneth Branagh. The film has a really good cast, actually: Natalie Portman, Jeremy Renner, Idris Elba, Anthony Hopkins, and Renee Russo are all in it too – but none of them is showing up to promote the damn movie, and so now I’m thinking that the film is a train wreck. Maybe I won’t even have to learn anything about Chris Hemsworth, because his career will be over after this. Just in case, here are the basics: he’s Aussie, he’s the older brother of Liam Hemsworth, best known as Miley Cyrus’s on-again/off-again boyfriend. Here’s what else I know about him: he’s very pretty. Very, very pretty. Too pretty for my tastes, but I suspect that he’s got the kind of prettiness that CB enjoys in a man.
So as I was glancing through the photos from the Australian premiere, I caught sight of Kenneth Branagh too. Ken is looking… really good, right? And this is my problem: if I was given the choice between Ken and Chris, I would go home with Ken. He’s infinitely sexier to me than some blonde Aussie pretty boy. What is wrong with me? Am I the only one so skewed on men?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
The Aussie is too pretty. I might have found him appealing in my 20s, but at this point, Kenneth B. looks a 1000 times better. Also, I think he would be a LOT better in the sack even if he’s a little less muscular. I mean, provided everything still works, if you know what I mean and I think you do!
well mr thor doesn’t look bad but kenneth is the obvious choice here 😉
btw could we have some vintage kenneth branagh for HGF?pleaseeee!!
@Kaiser, I think you would rather go home with Kenneth because he was married to your girlfriend Emma Thompson. So being with him would be sort of like being with her by proxy.
Of course, I would totally make the same choice. I’ve always had a thing for Branagh.
they can both get it. at the same time, for all i care. YES.
Kenneth Branagh all the way.
It’s a toss up between both but I honestly will get more aroused with Chris Hemsworth – I am in love with his voice OMG, (although the feeling of guilt shortly lingers)…I need to see that hot piece of ass in Thor
Film is actually getting pretty good reviews on tomatoes
Kenneth for me
Oh no, you are not alone. KB is hot. And go back and look at shirtless KB from Frankenstein. Wooof.
Dammit, now I have to watch this if Jeremy Renner is in it!
I’d rather Chris – I don’t think he’s too pretty, plus he was in “Star Trek”.
KB all the way. He’s hot instead of pretty, and face it, eventually you’re going to want to have a conversation and model boy looks like he couldn’t discuss a current event if it hit him on the head.
KB for sure
Sorry…I have to be different, but I would definetly go all cougar on Chris. From what I’ve seen in the previews…those muscles….yum!!!
Is this Chris guy married to Elsa Pataky?
KB. Been hot for years. Anyone who can be equally convincing as King Henry V and Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter has got to have something going on.
Kenneth every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Pretty boy is nicer to look at, but Kenneth’s voice is DIVINE. And pants-meltingly HOT when reciting Shakespeare. Sweet Jesus.
Ken is super hot. Don’t like boys prettier than me.
I’m the pretty one DAMNIT.
@Kaiser
Ken would find your insecurity as attractive as the scent of Shalini on a musky Georgian eve while you clutch your pearls with one hand and your slut-shank in the other. His confidence in the moment manifests itself as he moves close to intercept your averting but flirtatious gaze. You shun the pursuit of his molten sapphires until he graces your chin with a gentle, yet demanding touch, lifting your eyes to his. As you feel the brush of his stubble against your cheek and not a whisper separates your lips from his, he feels the cold steel of your shank against his jugular and you whisper, “Sorry hun, got threads to write tomorrow, but thanks for the offer.”
Yeah, he’s pretty but you’d throw that Aussie on the barbie in a bitch-minute.
“Is this Chris guy married to Elsa Pataky?”
Yes. She’s like the talent-free Penelope Cruz of dating B-list Hollywood and I guess she finally got her man. Not that I loved Mr. Hemsworth in Home & Away, or his body in The Perfect Getaway and I’m in any way bitter, ahem…
And am I the only one that thinks they look like father and son here?
Ugh, Kenneth lack of lips bugs the hell out of me. I’d have to go w/ Thor on this one :/
Chris Hemsworth is indeed younger and better looking than Kenneth. They should not be compared and contrasted because they are not on the same tier, it would be unfair to Kenneth.
Chris is ver much sex dream material.
sadly, I don’t find the sexy strong in Kenneth, because I only know him as Gilderoy Lockhart, which is a total buzzkill. I need to see more movies with him in it.
I don’t find prettyboy Hemsworth that pretty btw. Something about his features seem too small. Can’t put my finger on it though…
I’d totally go home with KB, too, Kaiser.
Branagh, definitely.
If memory serves, Kenneth and Emma split up because he was catting around with Helena Bonham Carter. I love all 3 and it certainly has turned out for the best for all of them, but imagine if they were American, the S*&^ storm that would have ensued.
He’s what’s considered pretty? I consider someone like Zac Efron pretty. This guy looks like someone groomed a neanderthal, which, I suppose, works well for playing a space Viking. Or something.
Chris Hemsworth gets my crotch tingly vote. Two reasons:
a. He was in Star Trek.
b. Branagh is a dawg. He cheated on Emma Thompson multiple times before finally leaving her for Helena Bonham Carter. He’s wonderful as Gilderoy Lockehart because (in my opinion) he’s playing himself.
As an aside: what is up with the infolink ads? They’re completely random and it makes paging down a bitch b/c they pop up quickly but stay on my screen for way too long.
I didn’t even read the article, I just felt compelled to answer the header question.
Branagh. Always, and without question.
Something about the way that man interprets Shakespeare gets me all hot and bothered. His rendition of Hamlet is one of my Top Ten movies of all time. (To be fair, though, so is Anchorman.) I would covet the opportunity to sniff his hair – if only once.
Both. Why do I have to pick?
@Rita GREAT thread porn!
Kenneth. Always. I met him briefly when Hamlet opened in Houston. He was courteous and funny and extremely sexy then. I renew my request for Kenneth for HGF. You were sweet enough to give me one picture when I first asked, and I know you aren’t happy about the whole Emma Thompson debacle (and I agree), but he outshines so many others with much worse reputations.
Kenneth Branagh, for the after-nookie conversation alone…
Kenneth Kenneth Kenneth and Kenneth all the way. The man was hot with bleached hair in Hamlet. BLEACHED. He and my hot English teacher were the only damn reasons I even read Shakespeare anyway.
Yeah, ok, I know he cheated on the lovely Emma Thompson but…erm…. THE BARD MADE HIM DO IT! Come to think of it, my English teacher cheated on his wife too….
The Ken doll, a million times over.
Oh yeah, Kenneth Branaugh, any day, any time, any where. The other guy is just too pretty.
British sex… no thank you!!!
Definitely Ken for me…
Has NOBODY realized that Chris only got the job of Thor because someone told Ken he was too old to play the part (so he got someone who looked a bit like him back in the day)?
I saw KB and Emma Thompson perform live early on in their careers – they were in Toronto doing a wonderfully farcical version of Much Ado About Nothing that ended with a vaudeville dance number in top hat and tails. I will love them both forever but KB makes my biscuits tingle for sure!
Kenneth for sure but he must do the St Crispin’s Day speech before laying siege to my castle 😀
Both
Both.
I would have the young one first for fun and his hot looks. Then next I would have an affair with the more powerful, older, much wiser, Ken, but who is still a sexy man, who has the British accent I love, and which I would remember the affair forever once I married my age appropriate husband. Okay. Back to real life.
Thor can spear me anytime!
I used to LOVE Kenneth Branagh. He’s looking a little too old for my taste these days because he was always a tad too old for me but a little bit of very light blond dye can turn those gray streaks into highlights.
The other guy is way too young for me yet he has more forehead wrinkles than I will ever have, his puppet lines are worse than mine (but I expect to catch up in 10 years) and his undereye area is about even with mine (sans cream) so no thanks!
As for the lack of promotion, when is the US or UK premiere. Has that happened?
@cokie – I think the point is the young guy is NOT a hunk. He’s the male equivalent of a “butterface”
Pretty works for me. Although I will concede that Kenneth is a handsome man and also quite attractive. Another thing: is there something OFF about Chris’s neck/body/head proportioning that makes him looks strangely like a weird doll or something? What is up with that?
Kenneth Branagh, yesterday, today and tomorrow!!, the very thought of him whispering in my ear with that English accent of his……besides, I have a thing for older men (daddy issues maybe??)…
CHRIS, CHRIS, A THOUSAND TIMES CHRIS. HGF, yes?
I have eyes so there’s no choice really. It’s the one on the left or a two bag situation and five showers afterward.
Oo yeah, great idea! Can we have some vintage Ken circa Much Ado About Nothing for HGF??
Kenneth Branagh has always been Hot Stuff! I admit I have always fancied him. Now he’s gotten older and a bit grey, he’s distinguished & sexy. That Aussie guy is very attractive but he’s not in Ken’s league.
I don’t think Thor will be a train wreck. I’m usually wary about seeing popcorn movies but I read an article about Thor, where they spoke to Branagh, and it convinced me that Thor is going to be better than the soulless tripe this genre usually serves up. In the article Branagh said: “If you don’t focus on the characters and our belief in them, then it doesn’t matter how many fancy-pants visual effects you’ve got” The article also said: “Best of all, Branagh was able to bring his vast experience as a Shakespearean scholar, actor and director to bear, sluicing this epic story with a deeper resonance” So with that in mind, plus a few other things I read in the article, I’ll give it a go.
At least you could find Chris Hemsworth’s lips to kiss! Has no-one noticed that Kenneth Branagh has no lips?
Kenneth definitely!!! Been a fan for years and he just keeps getting better all the time. Chris is gorgeous but Kenneth has it all!!!
i want d pretty boy
Hemsworth, because Branagh is a creep, and because without the mountain man facial hair, Hemsworth would look pretty okay, and a bit like Val Kilmer.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds Kenneth ridiculously hot. <3
I sell padded bras, is it legal for me to endorse my product by calling one of my product Pamela Anderson. By doing so I’m suggesting that the product will make your breasts look as big as Pamela?
Oooh I agree! I have loved Kennith since I was about 15, so like 15 years. The man is sexy and talented. A good combination because sexy goes away, but brilliance makes him shine on years longer than the pretty faces.