Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz stepped out in London last night for the “Keep A Child Alive” benefit which raises money to provide treatment and support to families with HIV/AIDS in Africa and India. Completely noble cause, and I won’t knock it. I’m just here to talk about fashion, post-baby bodies and the fug dirt-bag-ness known as Swizz Beatz.

Alicia wore a “custom Givenchy Haute Couture by Riccardo Tisci custom-made long bustier black gown” (ID credit: Red Carpet Fashions). From the front, I love it. I think Alicia looks elegant and prettier than I’ve seen her look in a while, despite the too-pink lipstick. From the back… yikes. That white panel, plus an ass flounce, plus the tacky belt? It’s too much.

Can I just say? I’m so happy that Alicia has stopped with the forehead jewelry. It was getting too much, and every time Bossip called her “Cleopatra Keys” I thought “yeah, right on.” But you know she’s still Cleopatra Keys in her mind. She named her baby Egypt, for the love of God.

As for Swizz and his deadbeat ass…he looks like hell. Alicia could do so much better, but whatever. She’s happy. I won’t harp on about it, especially when I think their shelf life is limited and I’ll probably be covering their divorce soon enough.

Photos courtesy of WENN.