I don’t even want to talk about these photos, because something awful is happening in them. These are pics of Gwyneth Paltrow going into (or leaving) Beyonce’s “secret gig” in London last night. Guess who else was there, besides Beyonce and Jay-Z? ADELE. That’s right, bitches. Gwyneth got to hang out with ADELE. That makes me sick. You know Gwyneth is totally going to name-drop Adele from here on out too. “My very dear friend Adele just said to me over Yom Kippur that she thinks my juice fast is the very best.” You can hear it, can’t you? “My BFF Adele told me that she’d be honored to record a duet for my new album – but only if the Dalai Lama wrote the lyrics! So I called up DAH-LEE, which is my little joke name for him, and he was all ‘OMG, GWYN! Of course.’”

But here’s a funny little side note – Beyonce is tight with Adele. They’re becoming close, and Adele drops Bey’s name in interviews, and Bey asked Adele to open for her (Adele couldn’t, because of her throat), etc. So Bey and Adele are tight. Does this mean that Bey is trying to push out her BFF Gwyneth? Probably not. Gwyneth will not be pushed out! She will cling to Beyonce, and she’ll work this friendship with Adele HARD. If Gwyneth says one single goddamn thing about Adele’s weight though, I will fly to Goopland and lay the smack down. You know how Gwyneth hates the “non-thin”. That bitch would probably say something rude and condescending to Adele, I can just see that too.

By the way, in case you were wondering about Gwyneth’s outfit, the dress is Isabel Marant, and it was totally one of Gwyneth’s fashion “suggestions” for peasants in a Goop newsletter a few weeks ago. Basically, she’s wearing a tax write-off, I think.

Photos courtesy of WENN.