I like the idea of Heidi Klum wearing a previous Project Runway winner. I especially like that she wore a dress by Christian Siriano, who is probably my favorite of all of the winners – and notice that Heidi isn’t wearing anything by Gretchen Jones, last season’s KNIT GRANNY PANTY-designing winner. Anyway, so… I like the idea of that Klum and Siriano were collaborating, but this dress… it’s just a train wreck. From start to finish. It’s the wrong color for Heidi, first of all. Second of all, it makes her look flat-chested, which she isn’t. Third, THAT CRAP ON THE BOTTOM. Yikes.

Here’s the problem with Heidi: everybody always kisses her ass as far as style goes. Maybe it’s because of Project Runway, maybe it’s because she was a model for so long, and people assume she knows a lot about fashion, but Heidi consistently disappoints me on the red carpet, if she isn’t outright horrifying me. She’s consistently over- or under-dressed, like she doesn’t know how far or how pulled-back she should go. I guess she thinks that it doesn’t matter, because she can pull off anything, but she can’t, in reality.

Really dissect this look and look at all of the stuff going wrong. She’s wearing too much makeup. Her hair doesn’t suit her face, and it looks oily and damaged. The jewelry is wrong. Every part of the dress is wrong for a woman of her age and body type. It’s all just a mess. One of the worst-dressed of the night.

Oh, and I like Heidi. I like Heidi and Seal – but she needs to tell him to button it up. It’s not the Grammys, it’s the Emmys. We don’t need to see all of that.

Photos courtesy of WENN.