Every now and then, it’s nice to check in with Rachel Uchitel, one of America’s most famous hookers. What’s that, you say? She’s not really a hooker? I beg to differ. She boned Tiger Woods for months and then accepted a multi-million-dollar payoff to keep her mouth shut about their affair. Before Tiger, she boned David Boreanaz and then publicly blackmailed him, likely for some money. Anyway, somebody bought the cow when the they were getting the milk on layaway. Rachel Uchitel, 36, married Matt Hahn, 26 (pictured above). He’s a former football player (Penn State) and now a businessman in San Francisco. I guess we can say that he’s also pretty dumb too, right? Or can we just say that he has awful taste in women?

Rachel Uchitel has gone from mistress to married woman! The 36-year-old nightclub hostess — whose claim to fame was her multiple affairs with golfer Tiger Woods and actor David Boreanz — tied the knot with businessman Matt Hahn on Sunday, TMZ reports.

“We are really happy and feel extremely fortunate to have one another,” Uchitel tells Us Weekly in a statement. The pair exchanged vows in front of 12 friends at Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas — the same venue where Britney Spears married Jason Alexander in 2004.

The couple obtained a marriage license in Clark County, Nevada, Sunday night and filed it with the court the next morning at 8:58 a.m.

Hahn, 26, was a football player at Penn State. He and Uchitel have been living together in San Francisco for several months.

Prior to her relationship with Hahn, Uchitel had been engaged to investment banker James Andrew O’Grady, who was killed on September 11, 2001 during the World Trade Center attacks; she spoke frequently of O’Grady’s death during her 2010-2011 appearance on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Uchitel, a University of New Hampshire graduate, wed Wall Street trader and childhood friend Steven Ehrenkranz in 2004. Their union lasted just four months.

[From Us Weekly]

This poor dude. Well, at least Rachel has all of that money, right? I hope to God she hasn’t blown through $10 million in a year and a half. So maybe Rachel is the one getting played by this young hustler? Doubtful. CB thinks Rachel is working some angle that we haven’t figured out yet. Maybe some reality show deal or something. Maybe it’s a long con.

By the way, I was just thinking about Rachel the other day when I was looking through some Linnocent photos. Both Lohan and Uchitel have that “hard” working-girl look, but to give Rachel some credit, I honestly think she looks less busted than Linnocent.

UPDATE: Thanks to all of you who pointed out the discrepancy with the $10 million figure – other sites were referencing the money like Rachel still has it, but TMZ reported that Rachel had to give it back to Tiger. Maybe Rachel has more money than we know, or maybe this marriage really is a long con.

Photos courtesy of Uchitel’s Twitter and Fame.