Stupid, stupid crackhead. Unreliable. Liar. Entitled. Dumb. High. Ridiculous. Moronic. Tweaked. Idiotic. Narcissistic. Bloated. Asinine. Crackie.
So, hours after Judge Sautner bitched out Linnocent, revoked her probation and ordered her to do AT LEAST two 8-hour shifts at the county morgue, Linnocent or her mother went crying to TMZ and claimed that LL “understood” why the judge had been so harsh and mean, because LL hadn’t done absolutely everything the judge had ordered. To show the judge that her cracked-out ass should not shoved into the darkest hole the California penal system has to offer, LL allegedly promised that she would work non-stop at the morgue. Today was supposed to be her first day. Guess what happened?
Lindsay Lohan was turned away from the L.A. County Morgue, after showing up late … Incredible.
We broke the story … Lindsay was supposed to show up by 8 AM, but at 7:40 her assistant called to say she’d be there in 10 minutes. Tick, tick, tick.
We’re told Lindsay didn’t show up until 8:40. Her publicist claims she was late “due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival.”
Lindsay was met at the door by Coroner’s officials who turned her away.
We’re told the Coroner’s office then contacted the Probation Dept.’s Volunteer Center — which supervises Lindsay’s probation — and notified them that she was late … AGAIN. That info will be forwarded on to Judge Stephanie Sautner.
Lindsay just tweeted, “With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I’ve never been so happy to go to therapy. Also, I’m sorry for the confusion that I may of (sic) caused to those at the Coroner’s office. Won’t happen again, now I know where to go!”
It’s not a violation for her not to show today … the judge only required that Lindsay put in 16 hours at the morgue by Nov 2. But it’s awful for Lindsay and her lawyer, who will try to convince the judge that she’s not thumbing her nose at authority.
[From TMZ]
LMAO at “due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival.” Um, you would think that you should go into the entrance where all of the media vans are waiting, right? They’re waiting for HER, correct? And even if there was a confusion about entrances, does that really take AN HOUR to figure out? Crackie Von Crackhead’s brain is completely fried.
Here’s her tweet/Who Say thing. She’s such an idiot.
Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.
I’m guessing she’s full of crap. So what do I win?
I thought it was 2 days per week at the morgue, is that wrong?
She can’t do anything right!
Big suprise. And the girl is fucking HIGH in court. Look how un-naturally dilated her pupils are.
As for her excuse – sometimes finding entrances to unfamiliar places can slow you down, but if you absolutely have to gotta be somewhere bang on a certain time you drive your ass down there the day before to work it out.
You can tell in the mug shot (after they scrubbed of that dreadful goth blush) that she’d still be a pretty lady if she cleaned herself up. That’s the only nice thing I got.
Just proves she’d be late for her own funeral.
I can’t believe she’s only 29-years old. She looks more like 49 years. What happened????
she either needs real help or is just a piece of shit.
I’m so glad they turned her away instead of listening to her whiny excuses. If she has an assistant to make calls, she has somebody to figure out where the door is LOL.
I know I shouldn’t laugh at this post but the first sentence had me rollin. Lindsay is on death’s door. You could go downtown and find women who have been hooking for 20 years on the streets that look better than her.
omg. i can’t believe i actually feel sorry for her. 40 minutes late is not THAT bad. They should have let her in, and told her this was her one and only mistake allowed. Plus that, I think her mug shot is kind of cute. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME???
Hahahahaha! Coroner’s office just called her a liar saying there was NO way she didn’t know where to go because she has been there before! Hahahahahaha! Can we please, please, please have a new content about whether or not her publicist quits her ass before November 2?????
Edit: Sorry! Meant ‘contest’ not ‘content’
I vote 2) that turned into 1).
Oh, man! I figured she would at least make it through the first week, and now I’ve already lost my bet on the first day…
I think I need a cracktini already, it’s almost 11am! **pilfering through all the (empty) bottles from yesterday**
At this point I’m convinced she’s just dumb as a doorknob.
SHe actually had to get up in the morning for the first time in ages, Cracken does not do mornings people!
@Mich: I just saw that story on TMZ too. Okay Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter is officially my hero of the day. Way to call her out! Love it! I totally forgot that she had been there before for court ordered whatever. I was wondering if they had sent her an email with instructions but was giving it a pass giving the limited amount of time from yesterday but it looks like they did. NO excuse Lohan!!!
Tomorrow’s another day.
@Firecracker, I’m with you. I thought it was 2, 8 hour shifts at the morgue, each week until November 2. I don’t know if I misunderstood or what.
I hope nobody is surprised by this because this news is just like saying “the grass is green”. FACTS..
She is never gonna straigten up. she gets away with too much and she knows it. I hope she goes to jail for a couple of years and the judge bans her from having any contact with her mom who seems to be encouraging her behavior. this will be the only way she will survive.
If I was her, I would WANT to be photographed entering the morgue. She needs a bit of good press.
Her career is dead. If she can’t show up on penalty of prison why would she show up for a film?
This girl fits the definition of a sociopath. She does not feel any remorse for the the things she has done and believes that she does no wrong. She acts like a self entitled little snot. It’s interesting that even Paris Hilton can fulfill her obligations for CS (even though she is a repeat offender and really hasn’t cleaned up she can at least do the task handed to her, which is saying alot) and that Nicole Richie can clean herself up and have a good image now. But Lohan…nope she just can’t. She doesn’t deserve to be in the spotlight, there are many other actors out there that have worked their asses off for years to get anywhere and act professional unlike her ladyship. I do not have a shred of sympathy anymore for this girl, no, not girl, woman because she is 25. Please Lohan disappear into obscurity
I guess she’s fianlly gotten the message from all her friends here at Celebitchy when she says,
“Now I know where to go. Thank you for your help”
…and what’s this about a penal system? Is that political correct speak for dong parts.
@mln76- “She’s on deaths door”…at the morgue! Luv it.
Oh the irony.
She at least LOOKS to be at death’s door.
She’s just building up street cred for her upcoming gangsta-rapper career
I had to go Google images her. I had forgotten what she looked like in her red hair days. It’s sad.
Always with the excuses!
Good grief!
Dang, another day, another boatload of hysterical lynnocent posts! I love crackie and the endless hours of entertainment she (and all the posters here) provide.
These posts really make my day at work so much more fun!
Keep up the good work Crackie – if your life was a movie no one would believe it!
I think my favorite comment from above was “penal system – is that politically correct speak for dong parts”
Ladies, I am truly rolling on the floor below my desk laughing!
I predict a well timed and convenient “relapse.”
I’ve been to the Coroner’s Office, there are signs all over the place, it’s on a corner of two main streets, and there’s only one entrance (unless you count the coroner’s van entrance to the rear, that really isn’t well marked). Stupid bitch.
How could Lohan not know which door to enter through.
It was the one where all the camera’s where at!
Geez, you know the paparazzi knew exactly where to be. So how can she claim she was lost.
If there is one thing Lohan knows how to do… her uncanny ability to find where the camera’s are at.
(Seriously, did no one in her camp of enablers… make no plans to wake her up and get her there on time??)
I still think it’s cool that she has freckles on her lips.
Even the death dealers can’t stand to be around linnocent and her cracky ways. Even a neon sign marked ENTER HERE would not be enough for our cracky.
She looks like a cracked out care-bear in these court photos…
Sad day.
@nan – it’s even worse than you think, she’s only 25, not 29!
Love that they called her out for lying since she was there before. I’m sorry but if you know you’re facing JAIL for your actions, show up on time!
Glad they turned her away for being late. And really, how does it take an hour to find the entrance? Wouldn’t there be pictures of the media following her around as she tried to find the entrance to the morgue?
Lindsay is such a pathological liar. Even when she gets caught in one lie, she quickly makes up another one. I really don’t think she knows the definition of truth.
…Is she assuming the Coroner’s Office follows her on twitter?
I wonder if she spots a bottle of methylated spirits, focuses on the METH part and ODs.
@ Nan … she is 25 years old, not 29, so even worse, gah.
#22(Rita?) – Penal system is a term referring to the courts and prisons/prisoners. Penal = Penalty.
And this woman is quite familiar with the whole penal code by now, I’m sure!
ETA #30, If all the paps were there, how come there isn’t one single picture of her trying to enter the morgue (well, she’s been “trying” for the last few years with her lifestyle)? At least, not that I’ve seen, so I don’t believe that for a New York minute, lol!
Two 8hr shifts!! Oh,the horror of it all.They’re gonna work her to death.
“Coroner’s office just called her a liar saying there was NO way she didn’t know where to go because she has been there before!”
Wow!
I also agree with the poster that said she is a sociopath.
i would love to know what she showed up in attire wise to “work’ – you can bet it was 4 inch heels and a designer outfit instead of jeans and a tee
I think we all know where she can go.
Passive agressive personality. Oh! It wasn’t HER fault she was late, it was the medias, oh sorry it was the people at the morgue because she didn’t know where to go. Never her fault. Couldn’t she just have said, craph, I was late. Won’t happen again?
My BF thinks that she will be the next celeb to pass at 27. I wonder if she’ll even last that long.
Honestly, I am so tired of saying bad shit about her. She is an idiot, a moron…all the things said in the article above but I just can’t make fun of her anymore because I will feel bad that I did when she dies. How sad is that?
@Luck Charm #38
Ohhhhh, now I get it. Since its the morgue, I thought “Penal System” had something to do with the organization of parts from organ donors….something like the way my husband keeps his nuts organized in little plastic drawers in his work shop.
I assumed Lilo would be organizing the donated foreskin, testicles, scrotums, and such. Something like a Kosher Deli without the Rabi….maybe that’s her next play, the first female Hasidic Rabi. Why not?
ahhh, i think i need a cracktini. this is amazing. if she needs to do 2 shifts a week for 2 weeks she won’t make it since today and tomorrow = 1 week. am i right?
this morning when i heard she wasn’t there yet, i seriously thought she might be dead.
Bullshit…Her Honor specifically said 2 days per week..she is in direct violation less than 24 hours…
I have empathy for her as a person in recovery, but no sympathy. I’ve been where she is over & over again myself. LA county jail is no joke, unfortunatlly, Lindsey has not had to find her bottom in the bowels of Lynwood the way I did. Having a little money and a lot of enablers is keeping her just above her bottom. This could go on for many more years.
@Rita I didn’t notice the pun thanks for giving me another big laugh…. she was knockin’ at death’s door but they wouldn’t let her in she’d scare the corpses.
omg@Rita-I just teared up reading that. You crack me up, woman.
I want to know what she was wearing… did she have stilettos on for work??
Hey ol’ Linds…..let me help ya out here…..When you go to a building, GO THRU THE FRONT DOOR!!!!
I know that cracktime is f*ckin’ you up but, DAMN!
FRIDAY’S CRACKEN TWEET: “WITH ALL OF THE STRESS AND PRESSURE FROM YESTERDAY, THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY, THE DAY LEADING UP TO YESTERDAY’S YESTERDAY – AND TODAY, I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO ICHAT W/MY COURT APPOINTED THERAPIST!!!! I KNOW THE CORONER’S OFFICE IS UPSET WITH ME, BUT I HAVE A LEGITIMATE YEAST INFECTION AND TWO OF MY PORCHE’S TIRES WERE FLAT. I ALSO COULD NOT FIND MY WALLET WHICH INCLUDED MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND CREDIT CARDS MAKING ORDERING A CAR SERVICE OR DRIVING MY PORCHE WITH FLAT TIRES TO THE MORGUE, IMPOSSIBLE!!!! TODAY, I’M GOING TO REGROUP, THINK POSITIVE, AND CONTINUE TO STAMP & STUFF ENVELOPES FROM THE RED CROSS — WHICH, ALTHOUGH I AM NOT GETTING ANY CREDIT FOR, IS MY NEW CHARITY OF CHOICE BECAUSE THEY DO INCREDIBLE STUFF AND I AM PROUD TO BE A PART OF THE RED CROSS AND ALL THAT THEY DO FOR THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES AND THE WORLD! PLEASE, EVERYONE, DONATE TO THE RED CROSS! SENDING LOVE AND LIGHT, L”
@Rita-Hilarious!
And yes, I called it. See my post to previous blog. Excuses, always more excuses.
@ Happy21 Public scorn got her to care about her teeth. Maybe, in our own small bitchy way, by making fun of her today we are actually doing our bit to help her reach her 28th bday? Of course, that might be pushing it…
When you think about it, this is very very sad. Even with family and an assistant she can’t get to an absolutely critical appointment on time?
Really, Lohan. Get help.
@rita – AHAHAHAHAHHAHA. i seriously lawled out loud (loudly) in my office.
you deserve a high five.
Lol@Rita, I laughed for a good ten minutes after reading your comments.
I am so over her. If she is in Gotti, I don’t care if they get Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro (and I never miss them) I would not watch it. Who the F does she think she is.
There are people really struggling in this country. They would go to the ends of the earth for a simple job, a little bit of a break and she acts like this. She is so important. I don’t think so. She is disgusting. Forget Shawn Holley Chapman, she needs Mark David Chapman. I loathe her.
the EYES! there were a couple of points, when the prosecutors were speaking and she was looking at them with the bug eyes, and all I could see in those bug eyes was a look of “I’d kill you bitch if I could get away with it”…like, SERIOUSLY psycho glare.
http://www.celebitchy.com/187055/linnocent_her_crazy_crack_eyes_promise_to_work_in_the_morgue_every_day/wenn5742066/
this is one of the looks I was referring to.
Gosh Dang this chick is stupid. If you have to be somewhere at a certain time and you don’t need to be late, don’t you usually leave early and allow yourself a little extra time in case of things you can’t control? I mean If I have an appointment with the DR. and I have to be there at 9:00 am, I usually leave at 8:30 even though I CAN get there in 15 minutes or less, I try to allow for traffic delays , unexpected road construction, whatever because I’d just rather be a bit early as late, and those appointment times are flexible. I would never be late to court, probation etc. That’s very disrespectful and very stupid.
Epic. That excuse was EPIC. Even Jim Caroll got it straight Linds, even Jim Caroll.
There is some confusion as to how many days Tweaking Tammy has to do. At first, I believe, Judge Sautner said she had to do 2 sessions before November 2nd, however, at the end of the hearing she clarified herself saying she needed to do 2 session A WEEK until her next hearing. That makes 4 sessions. If she’s fucked up today, that means she can only do 1 session this week. She’s already fucking failed to complete the judges orders. Radar is the only site that I can find that has it accurate that she has to do 2 sessions A WEEK until her hearing.
I’m getting my sunglasses and lawn chair looked out for the epic firework display that is going to happen on the 2nd. I think I will adorn them with some sea jasper and rose quartz for an authentic look and I’ll be putting my vodka in a water bottle. hee hee!
Wow, St Angie, her eyes genuinely scare me in that picture! Definately high, maybe possessed or both.
Thank you Rita!
I thought the judge said she had to do 2 days at the morgue before her next court appearance. Is it 2 days each week?
You know, the more I think of it, this girl really seems to be missing the whole ’cause’ and ‘effect’ thing. Can someone remind me why she takes Adderall? My littlest has a pretty bad case of inattentive ADHD – which I didn’t know existed before we went through hell trying to figure out what was going on – and she is starting to remind me of what it was like. He lived in a two minute timeframe and truly couldn’t put two and two together on the whole ‘if I do this it will lead to that’ business, even if he had been through the exact same scenario 100 times previously.
Next time, and there will be a next time, when they toss her ass in jail, she should not be in segregation, but put in GENPOP, that might knock some sense into her entitled ass.
Since Lindsay has had no real consequences, she figures she can party her ass off then show up whenever she wants. Her mom reinforces that Lindsay is always right and that everyone else is wrong in the never ending persecution of Lindsay Lohan. Going to jail didn’t put a dent in this behavior. Her story is sad. I hope she realizes she needs help before it is far, far too late.
I want to know what she’s going to wear for her time at the morgue. Another picnic dress? Linnocence white? Zanotti 5-inch heels? Or perhaps something from her European pimp’s collection?
Firecracker
I left you a msg on the other post answering your question about watching the hearing.
The twit has already done morgue duty, so she new damn well where to go for duty. She was late. Period. End of story.
Uh, maybe instead of announcing to the world what day/days you’ll appear at the morgue. Shut your mouth ho. If you don’t tell them, they won’t come.
Lindsay can’t keep track of things because she’s never had to. When she has to she’ll keep track. Think she’ll be late tomorrow? Doubt it. After all this hoo ha today she’ll be there. If she isn’t, they should just throw her in jail because nothing’s gonna work.
But I think she’ll try the rehab thing to avoid jail.
*may have, not may of.
I always enjoy how they try and say she’s actually really intelligent, when she’s not.
Mich, as far as I can remember when Lohan was in rehab in the hospital (don’t remember which hopsital, don’t remember which rehab stint) they took her off her AHDH medication, because she was ‘misdiagnosed’.
Seriously, she looks like she is made up for a George Romero flick like “Living Dead”. Looks like she just crawled out of the grave to spook the countryside!
she tweets the f*kin Coroner’s Office an apology for blowing them off?
she has an assistant? she can’t make the f*kin call herself?
she needs to go to jail — and put in the general population — not the celebrity hold. one week of that experience would rattle that bitch’s ass. her sense of entitlement is amazing.
I don’t know if it’s the make-up, but Lindsay’s cheeks look bruised. I wonder if one of her clients got rough with her. She looks like she got smacked around.
brin – Only Elizabeth Taylor could pull that off.
Someone else will die in Linnocent’s place, because she’s never WHERE she’s supposed to be WHEN she’s supposed to be!
*hands out cracktinis*
What a stellar way to prove to the court that she’s turned over a new crack rock.
Cleveland – You’re kidding, right? Try showing up 40 minutes late to YOUR job and see how generous they are. (Especially with THAT kind of track record.)
Rita – No, no…she’s familiar with the PENILE system. Big diff! 😉
Mich – She took Adderall to lose weight. It’s basically prescribed speed for those who don’t truly require it in H-Weird.
Lindsay Lohan, take a note from regular joes. When we start jobs or have somewhere very important, we make sure we’re there 15-30mins early
The sad thing is, she’s not well. She obviously can’t make adult decisions because her drug addiction is taking over her life.
She’s REALLY REALLY gonna regret all of this when she gets sober & if she lives beyond 30yrs old
And you know, now that the Assistant coroner called her out she will have to tweet how they were so mean to her……
Reading speculation about her bruises. Her mug shot is on TMZ and they wiped off the excess make-up. No bruises.
If they could call and say they were 10 min late, why wouldn’t they call and say they couldn’t find the door? Or “hey, I’m outside but the ress is blocking the way”.
@Bellaluna and Rita, I thought she was NOT good with the penal system, I thought she switched sides…..
The only thing that would make me happier than her actual mugshots is if they forced her to remove her donkey-hair / plastic extensions.
Other than that, what is there to say? Sun comes up, sun goes down, Lady Cracksalot is an incompetent, self-sabotaging asshole.
Lucky Charm
There is ALWAYS booze left over from tailgates. Here, have a cracktini, I made just for you. *handing drink over*
Devon
ROL is always wrong. They still report she has to do 100 hours of CS at the morgue, when in reality its 120. She has to do 2 sessions at the morgue for a total of 16 hours by her Nov. 2nd hearing. And its not even mandatory, it was suggested/recommended and to quote the judge “to mitigate any potential sentence”. She’s not in violation by not appearing today, but the judge is going to hear about how she ‘scheduled’ her time and was late and turned away.
bellaluna
Cracktini? Firecracker and I were talking about you earlier. I mentioned that I have errands but I’ll BRB about 4pm.
Lucky Charm is looking for the left over tailgate booze, I made her a cracktini, but I’m running a little low at the vat. You stash some in the Treehouse?
Can you believe this twit. Instead of just getting turned away and showing up tomorrow bright and early, she tweets an out and out lie and as usual, gets called on it and comes off the lying crack thief she is. She will NEVER learn.
Oh and TMZ Live yesterday was great. Remember how I said the Friday TMZ, Harvey was frothing at the mouth? Well you should see yesterdays episode. The entire show was on her and at one point, he threw his hands in the air, exhaling loudly, and was just beyone frustrated. Better than Fridays episode.
daisydoodle – But when the PENILE system is paying for her travels and hotel stays and airfare and “sea jasper” she’s just fine with them.
The crackroach always goes with what (or who) is best for her at the time.
Did baby girl do her own makeup before court? Or, was her makeup artist legally blind? I’m thinking there might have been one or two corpses in the morgue that looked better than that……
@Nan; you think she looks bad for 29? She is actually 25. If she had been jailed in 2007 we would not have to be tortured with her daily reality show. There is no space in jail, so this nonsense will continue until she finds God, ODs, or miraculously realizes that her life is a pile of steaming dog do.
Madisyn,
thanks, I responded on the other thread. What’s the contest this time?
Dammit, now I’m pissed! TMZ shows her rolling up to the morgue in her Porsche. I want that car! I hate that her crackie ass can afford that. Hope it gets repossessed. That was mean of me.
Pathetic.
@bellaluna, you are so right! please accept my apology with a cracktini and a crack-appetitzer…
@Brin..think you could be right;), though she already looks like a walking Corpse..
@Rita- thanks for the laughter hon!
Guess Blohans mom Dino got to her before her mugshot and blended that mess on her cheeks in..
Dina”there now Linds smile pretty for your mugshot. We can use those as future headshots your so stunning when your high”. Dumb a$$ pimp mama!
For a minute there, I thought poor Eleanor would get a break, while Blohan was doing her morgue hours. Then I realized Ali’s there and according to WO’s RumorFix interview (thanks Bess), she’s flying out immediately.
I thought the same when Blohan went to jail in 2010 for a measly 2 weeks of a 90 day sentence. ‘Free At Last’, thats what I thought for Eleanor. Nope, didn’t happen, with WO and Ali in town, she had to wait on them hand and foot.
Everytime I think Eleanor is going to get a break, Ali and especially, WO are there to run her ragged. Poor Eleanor.
Mad – Didn’t know you were looking for me, and OF COURSE I have a stash! Consider us replenished! 😉 Lucky Charm, have at it!
daisydoodle – No need for apology, but I’ll gladly accept a cracktini and cracketizer!
Mad, I’ll see you after 4, and I’m heading to TMZ to watch Harvey right now! (wait. 4 “our” time or EC time?)
I’m telling you guys, she’s practising her make-up to blend in with the corpses to get out of any actual WORK!!! at the morgue. (Prove me wrong.)
Madisyn, I’m pretty sure I heard at the end of the hearing that Judge Sautner clarified what LL was suppose to do by saying it was 2 times per week until her next hearing. I’ve been trying to find the video for it but it’s no where to be found. I’m totally willing to eat crow about it but I’m sure that’s what I heard her say.
Just watched the vid on TMZ & dude said “It’s up to the court to decide if she can return” which sounds to me like she got “fired” from another round of CS.
PleasepleasePLEASE just put her ass in prison! (And yes, prison and jail are two different things.)
CRACK IS WHACK
that is all
If we know the Crackie, she’s probably in some back alley doctor’s office right now bribing him to write a note that she’s got a bad back, bum knee or some other injury to get her out of doing any manual labor.
Also, I hope the morgue schedules someone to shadow her through the entire day. She’s liable to sneak off into a closet to smoke and send text messages to Patrick & her mother for hours. She might also try to sneak Elanor in through the back door to do the community service hours for her.
She is neither sociopathic nor entitled. Just the typical end product of emotionally abusive parenting and drug use. I have no answers and so won’t offer any biased suggestions as to therapy, but punishment, at this point, is useless. She has neither the familial support nor internal stability to learn anything at this specific point in time; like a five year old, punishment will simply keep her butt in line and satisfy the masses…and do absolutely nothing for her. I really don’t understand this anger people have toward Lindsay. If you believe justice isn’t fair, for heaven’s sake, go after the judiciary system. Burying Lindsay Lohan accomplishes absolutely nothing at all.
I hope she winds up in jail for at least a couple of months, otherwise she’s never going kick whatever drugs she on. In the meantime, she’s a menace to herself and to the world at large.
ORANGE OPRAH SPEAKS! http://rumorfix.com/2011/10/exclusive-dina-lohan-in-tears-tells-lindsay-well-get-thru-this/
Firecracker
For the bet, I thought we’d keep it simple. Zero, 1, or 2 days at the morgue and as for jail, Yes, No, House Arrest. I doubt she’ll do more that the recommended 2 days if that, but I suppose people can guess more days if they desire. Jail time speaks for itself. I’ve already thought of the loophole of her getting kicked out for not doing her job. (Its definetly possible, if not probable) If you guess 2 days and she gets canned/let go for the day, whatever, winner is whoever said 1 day. 2 won’t count. Simple enough? I’ll still BRB after 4pm.
bellaluna
I’m always lookin for your ass! PST, in Cali silly. You’ll like TMZ yesterday, its good. As for ‘blending in at the morgue’, did you read DListed today. He said,
“At one point, a morgue worker thought they spotted her lying on a gurney, but when he threw an 8-ball at the floor, it didn’t move. Not LiLo”. LMAO
Devon
I’m pretty sure. No need for crow, just a good cracktini. Won’t matter, she won’t do it either way. No worries D.
Bess
No doubt. Too bad the entire morgue knows what this twit looks like, it really fvcks up having Eleanor do it for her. Did you see the last several posts here? Do you remember what we talked about earlier today?
MOST IMPORTANTLY: Betting will be closed at 6pm pst on Nov. 1st. Last time I spent 30 minutes before the hearing updating last minute bets, so place them before, please.
Whoa, look at her pupils! She’s even looking up toward the lights and they are huge. The light should cause them to constrict. Yikes.
Also, I cannot get over the blush. Or whatever that is supposed to be on her cheeks.
25 going on 45 (and that’s being mean to 45-yr-olds, many of whom are radiant and gorgeous!).
I guess that’s all I have on her.
Another Count Crackula thread? I can’t keep up!
*cheers ladies*
HEY JUDGE SAUTNER!
The best thing that you could do for ol Linds is put her ASS in jail…..
Just look what it did for Robert Downey Jr. It saved his life!
To the person who says she is neither sociopathic nor entitled. No one but a shrink can diagnose a mental issue such as sociopathy, yes. BUT:
She’s definitely entitled—abusive, damaging background or not. Many people come from terrible backgrounds and don’t act so entitled. She’s certainly damaged, but she’s also spoiled and thinks the rules do not apply to her. She’s a brat. Abuse and everything else aside.
“May of caused” May OF? Ugh. Idiot.
The Craken Wakes! Just not before noon.
belle
If you have a traffic cone, I want it on your head and pictures, please. LMAO
Well folks, we have our first bettor:
Firecracker – 1 day
Madisyn – 2 days – Yes
F-jail time?
P.S. I reserve the right to change my mind being a female. And I’m doing the pool. To quote the esteemed Bette Davis in Agatha Christies “Death on the Nile’,
“Rules are meant to be broken, especially mine and by me”
Morticians
Tell me about it. I still haven’t read the last post yesterday, I posted at the end of the day, but I haven’t read the 160 previous comments.
belle, bess, boo, Firecracker
BRB
If there was so much “confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival”, (and I must be fair, I haven’t looked around on other sites for pictures) why are there no photos here of her late arrival at the morgue? I at least would have liked to have seen what she decided to wear for her big day.
@Lochamochagirl—I noticed that too!! What struck me is that she made the same error in a previous tweet. Obviously she thinks the phrase is “may of” not “may have.” A product of quality home schooling with Dina as teacher.
Everyone keeps saying that she only has 16 hours to do at the morgue this isn’t correct..The judge clarified her order at the very end and said she is to do 2-8 hour sessions every week until the hearing. When she clarified her orders I died laughing and said she will never be able to pull that off.
Hey Madisyn…..what’s the new bet on?
Hi Madisyn. Please put me down for 1
& HA thanks, you’re awesome to keep track!
Madisyn,
It’s 2 days/week I checked on other sites, so she could have more days (but the probability of that is zilch as we all know). I totally agree with a cut-off time, you spent a lot of time on that last one!
Yes jail time
Yay LA County Morgue!
LOL at the “not knowing the entrance part”. How many doors can there be?
Perhaps she would know the entrance if she actually went there more often.
Newtsgal
Its on post 103
Diane
Jail? And thanks, no worries, more cracktinis.
Firecracker – 1 day – Yes
Diane – 1 day
Madisyn – 2 days – Yes
Firecracker
It was difficult because I wanted to get my cracktini’s ready, set my mom up on TMZ in case it wasn’t televised, put on my slippers, and find an actual channel it was on. I missed the first 5 minutes updating. So anyone after Nov 1 after 6pm can post they’re own bet and we’ll all go from there. It will still count. B R B
Firecracker, Sillyone
Y’all have a link for me to see? Because if so, she’s in t r o u b l e. 2 this week is a failure already. 2 next week. And 2 before her hearing Wed. Thats waayy too much to ask of the Cracken.
OK….I’ll give her 4 days and she is going to jail…. hehehehe!
*fingers are crossed*
And for shit & giggles- she’ll be busted for something while in the Porsche before her court hearing in Nov.
@madisyn: oops! YES. Cheers!
Madisyn,
Here’s one link stating the 16 hrs per week
http://www.theinsider.com/gossip/45363_Lindsay_Lohan_Late_for_Morgue/index.html
I know it’s a Porsche, but every time I read what-ever-it’s-called, I hear “Bananarama” with a P.
Firecracker – Wow, SOP? I don’t think Linnocent knows what that means. I mean, it’s never applied to her before, so why would it now? 😀
What scares me the most is how close to death she looks in the courtroom pictures. The way she’s staring off into space. It’s like she’s not even there anymore. There is absolutely no life in her eyes.
It’s hard to imagine that just a few years ago she was a beautiful, A list star making millions of dollars. I know Dina is a terrible parent, but Michael Lohan must have done some horrible things to her as a child for her to end up like this. I still hope she turns her life around, but she doesn’t seem to understand the concept of taking personal responsibility for her behavior.
The confusion between the 16 hours or 32 hours before the November 2nd court date was because the judge said that she had to “do a minimum of 16 hours at the morgue,” if she bails out. “That’s two days a week between now and the hearing date.”
It might be that she was only counting the one full Monday to Friday week between now and November 2nd. Or she could just not be great at math.
I doubt she meant 16 hours/2 days per week because that would actually mean Lindsay needs to do 48 hours:
16h/2d for this week
16h/2d for next week
16h/2d for the week of the hearing
As much as I’d like to think she put her on the hook for 48 hours, I really think she just meant 16 hours total.
I think one week is from Wednesday to Wednesday rather than a calendar week. The next hearing was set for exactly 2 weeks away from her progress hearing, so she needs to do 4 days or 32 hours between yesterday and Nov. 2.
Update
Firecracker – 1/Yes/16 Wkly.
Diane – 1/YES
Newtsgal – 4/Yes
Madisyn – 2/Yes/16 Total
I know Firecracker, Sillyone, and Devon disagree with me. And I know, depending on who you listen to, it differs, but I’m standing by my original comment of 16 hrs. TOTAL till the hearing. Since theres so much disagreement, lets place a little wager on it, shall we?
Firecracker wanted an additinal type of bet. I told her it had to be something without a lot of variables. Well here it is folks.
DID THE JUDGE SAY 16 HRS TOTAL OR 16 HRS A WEEK? I’ll post Firecrackers and mine now.
Come on, everyone, cut Lady MacMeth some slack! It’s perfectly natural for her to have difficulty finding the front entrance.
She’s more of a back-door kind of girl.
why is she wearing gray blush? can someone enlighten me?
I think she only has to do four hours a day at the morgue. So, four hours two times a week is 8 hours, times two weeks is 16 hours. Am I on to something?
lol and on the very first day
of completing her late due of work
what a brainless loser
Hey, I work in an OR….it’s amazing what you can find in the “back door”
I get the anger over her sense of entitlement (drives me insane too..) but this girl has never been given the tools for anything ( the hatred for her mother and mothering skills bears this out..) I can’t muster anything but pity for this girl who has been raised by wolves..I think people mistake wealth/opportunity for solid parenting
If she does get it together it’s despite the hand shes been dealt not because of it…so I think we should dial down the glee….
I’m sure many people posted this already, but recall how the judge specifically said not to be late at the morgue b/c they’re on a strict schedule?! I am notoriously late, but that’s why when it’s really, really important I’m usually early, b/c I overcompensate. She somehow still surprises me with her blatant idiocy…how can anyone be this moronic & entitled?!
@Romia
She is a sociopath, or at the very least has a PD with sociopathic tendecies. She was even diagnosed as such last year.
She has to do two EIGHT HOUR shifts TWICE a week between now and Nov. 2. Four eight-hour shifts in total.
Thank you, Seal Team 6, for clearing that up. I was so confused. If she does it, I may die of shock. I personally don’t think she will do 1 8 hour shift at all. I think she will do 1, maybe 2 hours and call it quits.
She might have to really hit rock bottom before she gets herself together, if ever: Prison would ultimately be good for her. She’d sober-up in there, for one thing.
Did she get some injections around her eyes and cheeks? The makeup is kinda hiding/accentuating it?
Hahahahah
LA County Sheriff Lee Baca says he has room for her in his jails and that she needs a minimum of 60 days to straighten up.
Throw her ass in jail, she is clearly in violation of everything
This week must be very disorienting for her. Let’s face it: everyone has kissed her ass and thanked her for the privilege for the past 13 years. And this week, she got a massive smackdown, she got publicly cuffed, and she was turned away from the morgue…her world must feel so topsy turvy. It must be terrible to live in a world where people expect things and there are consequences for failure.
@ladybert62 truthfully, i don’t think la cracken is worthy of risking your job. (assuming you work at an office)
@seal team 6: wow- i had no idea she was diagnosed a sociopath. because ever since she hit that baby stroller two days after leaving jail, i thought she was a textbook sociopath. and there is no humanity left in those eyes. absolutely no sympathy and no sorrow for this low life.
Dawning Red
‘Back door girl’ LOL
“due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival”
She can’t take responsibility for anything, can she?!?! That’s her main problem!! Nothing is her fault! She could have left her house earlier and/or had her assistant investigate where the entrance was in advance. I cant read anymore about this twit for another few months …..she gets on my nerves, FAST.
*waving*
I swear sautner should have sent her to work with grave diggers,cause she obviously is digging her own!
If what morgue dude-in-charge says is true (thanks for the link, Firecracker) she may not complete ANY CS before her next hearing.
*crosses fingers, downs shot of delusion, raises cracktini in prayer to the gods & goddesses of meth and chaos*
“At this point, Blohan has grabbed authority by its nuts, chopped it into a fine powder and used her thumb to snort it up.” Michael K, on Linnocent “thumbing her nose” at authority.
Best. Quote. of. the. Day.
*Waving back* at Danielle
Whats up girl. Whats going on with this twit who can’t bother getting to the morgue on time? I almost admit, even I didn’t call this one.
lol @Danielle… flawless icon
Danielle, love it.
Danielle
If it wasn’t for Lady D, it would’ve gone right over my head. As I told belle, I’ve been on the wagon lately, so I’m not thinking as clearly as I usually do when imbibing on cracktini’s.
Now for the ‘cone’. THATS FVCKIN BRILLIANT!
Wait till the ladies get a load of that. I wish I knew how to do that gravatar stuff.
I’m waiting for the publicity announcement that her publicist quits because he can’t take lying for her anymore.
As far as Crackie being a sociopath I always thought she leaned more on the narcissistic side. My ex has NPD and she gives me the same vibe he did. Like she turns everything around to her advantage and exploits everything she touches and everything else is always someone else’s fault. My ex was a sick bastard who became violent when he didn’t get his way and whenever he had to deal with the consequences of his actions HE was the victim. Listening to the way he would turn events around so he was the victim was mind boggling. Sometimes people would see through that, sometimes they wouldn’t. But I digress… My experience has lead to my biased opinion that people with NPD need to be locked up and the key thrown away. In many ways, narcissists do way more damage than someone who is a sociopath. At least a sociopath doesn’t crave the need for attention all the time.
@leeloo—im thinking steve honig locks himself up in a small dark room every night,with a few bottles of grey goose…
From the ABC Good Morning America Blog
At one point, Saunter read from Lohan’s probation report that explained why she didn’t enjoy working at the Downtown Women’s Center. “Her words: ‘The service was not fulfilling.’ Is that what a sentence is about?,” Saunter asked. “It’s to fulfill the defendant?” She paused before answering her own question, “No.”
“We all can’t be fulfilled by what we do,” Saunter said later.
Holley had a bail bondsman at the hearing, but even if Lohan is released on $100,000 bail, she’ll have work to do before heading back to court on Nov. 2. Saunter decreed that Lohan do two eight hour shifts a week between now and Nov. 2, for a total of 32 hours.
MADISYN, please put me down for:
2/ Yes/ 16 weekly
Thank you for putting up w/ all of us Madisyn..all our questions, changes, last minute additions, etc. A headache I’m sure…You are so awesome to do this. An extra special chilled Cracktini w/ a side of fresh lobster awaits you on the Celebitchy Terrace… Thank you for doing all you do:)!
http://www.celebitchy.com/187055/linnocent_her_crazy_crack_eyes_promise_to_work_in_the_morgue_every_day/
OMG…2nd pic,its freakin linda blair,her head should have spun all the way around and then the purging of pea soup….ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
She is so stupid.
If you don’t know where you’re going then you leave early so you have plenty of time to find stuff. Plus she has a cell phone, if she didn’t know what door she could have called and asked them.
I call total BS lying excuse here.
Also, 40 minutes late? Totally unexceptionable. By the time I was 25 I had figured out that I needed to be on time for stuff. Maybe if she were 19 that excuse would get some sympathy but she should know better by now.
Who wants to make a bet she can’t last 8 hours at the morgue?
She is just the gift that keeps on giving. And her saint of a father, what’s to say about this a@@hole? At least her mother had enough sense to keep her mouth shut the last couple of days. Finally glad to see someone in LA with some balls. You go Mr. LA Morgue Man. You deserve an award. Put that twit where she belongs.
@Madisyn – please put me down for 1, and Yes. (thanks for organising this again!).
@Bellaluna – “Bananarama”!!! LOL!!!!! The car has the absurd name of the Panamera, which I think sounds like the name of that massive continent which once existed before Europe, America, Africa all drifted apart. Well, it is a big (ugly) car.
Can’t wait for Blowhard’s next fuck-up.
HA!!…tmz’s reporting WO selling lindsay down the river with some book…lmao!
LMAO…thankyou mad,lady d,and smh,i could not resist the cone!!
@madisyn,the cracken is so dreading the morgue,she said that from the beginning,shes gonna toy with this just like a cat plays with a mouse,absolutely no surprise with her being late,im praying for her to show up in a sheer black top with no bra again,i need a good effen laugh!
@Danielle I find that depressingly easy to believe. Is that woman actively trying to get her daughter to do something stupid?
@screeee lindsay is wo’s bread and butter,and a little crackjam on the side,wo know’s she fucked up with lindsay and now she is gonna play the “oh,i tried to help her card”,and therefore try to make money off her greasy ate up lips!
Stupid, stupid crackhead. Unreliable. Liar. Entitled. Dumb. High. Ridiculous. Moronic. Tweaked. Idiotic. Narcissistic. Bloated. Asinine. Crackie.
Kaiser i freakin love you,im still laughing at this 🙂
3/YES/16 Total
And UGH to always being moderated..haven’t i always played nice 🙂
I dont think i can top kaiser but ill give it a shot.
Once a rising young actress,now turned international slut,crack smoking,meth making and smoking,no money having,hollywood’s back alley trash,ratty extension wearing,smoker bad breathe having,super model wanna be,having more chins then a chinese phone book having,jewlery stealing,dui poster child being,pimp having,no diploma,marilyn monroe wishing she was,coke bloat sporting,delusional,irresponsible,ill tempered,cant sit still,voice sounding like marge from simpsons,rotten teeth showing,boob and crotch bearing,no girlfriend having,handcuff wearing,grey goose guzzling,red bull downing,black resin on hands showing…clueless wanna be blonde!
ok last post..i dont get to hang with you ladies cause i work in vegas swing shift,i see wanna be lindsays everyday,its hysterical,but i sign off tonight with this
*LINMATE*
WAIT A SECOND….i know my last post was to be it for the night,but seeing the title of this story,all i can think is”holy shit,even the dead dont want her”….LMAO!!
She managed to show up under 1 hour late…she’s improving. When she used to get acting jobs, she would waste hundreds of thousands of dollars keeping hundreds of crew, cast and production people waiting for her to crack up or opiate down.
I’ve been under the watchful eye of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept (which is the organization that polices the Coroner’s office). You need to report closer to 7:40 am. Which is probably why her assistant called in at that time. She knew she wasn’t going to be allowed to work, having been through it once before.
Those toilets aren’t gonna scrub themselves, Lindsay!
And not to keep going back to the makeup…but I don’t think she scrubbed her face before her mugshit (typo and it stays, as MK would say).
Now that the picture has been released, I think her makeup was meant to make her mugshot look good. The mugshot camera is way high up, and the lights are incredibly bright. The mugshot will be the image that we see forever…the court pics are more likely to fade with time.
…she probably thought.
172 that’s exactly what I thought, the mug is good~
Updates on the current thread.
Danielle, you forgot Oscar winning delirium in your lineup.
Annie, dilated pupils are NORMAL in that lighting. Also, if a person is high, their pupils are the EXACT OPPOSITE of dilated. The pupils become contracted, that is SMALLER. Not larger. If she was high, her pupils would be as tiny as pinpricks, not dilated.