Linnocent Open Post: The one where the Cracken impresses the judge (update)

Here is your Open Post for Linnocent’s court date this morning/afternoon. She’s supposedly due at the courthouse any minute, but there should be significantly less drama with this appearance than with her last few appearances. For one, Radar and TMZ are in agreement that LL has been in full compliance with the terms of her structured probation. This appearance is just so that the lawyers can update the judge on the situation, a progress report of sorts, and I doubt the meeting will last very long.

TMZ’s (planted) report this morning is all about how well LL is doing with this structured probation – sources say “Lindsay logged the requisite number of hours of community service and morgue duty, and she’s actually put in more therapy time than required. And sources tell us … her supervisor at the morgue is blown away, calling her work ‘stellar,’ and saying she’s ‘a delight to work with and hard working.’” As I said yesterday, I’ll buy that LL is doing the work right now. We’ll see about next month, and the month after that. She’s an itchy, twitchy crackhead who loves crack drama. She’ll mess up soon enough.

UPDATE: Well, that was over fast. I told you it would just take a minute. TMZ reports:

Lindsay appeared in court today for her probation progress report. A very surprised Judge Stephanie Sautner began by saying, “Miss Lohan, you have actually done your work.”

The judge noted Lindsay actually completed her 12 days of community service early. And she went to an extra therapy session — 5 instead of the required 4. The judge also said the morgue was pleased by the work Lindsay has done there, “At least as pleased as a morgue can be.”

Judge Sautner said there was some confusion over whether Lindsay was allowed to go to Hawaii last week, but ultimately the Judge said it was ok, because she was celebrating her sister’s birthday and she was allowed to go out of state for family events.

Lindsay is due back in court next month, but so far, so good.

[From TMZ]

Yeah, everything went well. Crackie behaved herself, she didn’t look like the wrath of God, and she didn’t get yelled at by the judge. Good show.

Some screencaps of her appearance:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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75 Responses to “Linnocent Open Post: The one where the Cracken impresses the judge (update)”

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  1. dena says:

    Is this watchable? Where can we stream the court session?

  2. theaPie says:

    Wish I could participate! I have to do this darn thing called work! But I’ll check back!

  3. Nanz says:

    If her Ellen blow off is any indication, the crack drama is in progress. She didn’t break the law/her probation, but skipping out on professional/contractual requirements means it’s just a matter of time until the behavior bleeds over into the legal stuff.

  4. Jackson says:

    Yes, by all means, let the judicial system give her a gold star for not effing something up and doing what most people with CS do: show up, do the work, and don’t make trouble. The only reason this is ‘news’ is because she is such a fuk-up to begin with. I will say, though, that I think she is going to complete this CS go-round without incident. After she is completely off the hook is when the real fun begins again. I can’t wait.

  5. Taylor says:

    Love her. Go girl. Haters gonna hate but she is above them and doing great. Go and show them LiLo. You are simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone that haters met!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. NO SH¡T says:

    From the look of the header pic the crackhead needs to find a bra she shouldn’t be sagging like that. SMH

  7. ShanKat says:

    Those titties are on the MOVE.

  8. ShazBot says:

    LiLo is a tool, but I also think she does have SOME awareness and she pushes the envelope exactly as far as it can be pushed. She is well aware that she has used up all her chances in this particular case, so I think she’ll finally get this over with because she knows the only remaining alternative is months in jail. But only with this case as it is at its limit, as her blow off of Ellen proves.

    • gg says:

      “Months” in jail? You mean another 45 minutes right?

      • ShazBot says:

        well her sentence if she messed up here would be 300 days I think (around that), so if you cut that in half for overcrowding and add “good behaviour” or whatever crap excuses they use, she’s probably still looking at several months minimum.

    • The Original Denise says:

      LMAO; they are experiencing serious undertow!

    • becky says:

      and that’s precisely why she gets no sympathy

  9. Nanz says:

    Has she shown up yet? Must get to a computer…

  10. Nanea says:

    Is it time for a cracktail yet?

  11. barbi333 says:

    Not too long ago, I hate to say even a few months, I would have said I don’t agree and that maybe she is getting her act together, but not anymore. She has shown that anyone who thinks she is not going to screw up again needs to just eat their words now. Did anyone else see the article, I can’t remember who posted it, but she admitted she wished she had listened to her “handlers” years ago. Sigh, little too late.

  12. MacScore says:

    This, and only this, can take my mind off my own horrific life drama at the moment. Thank God for Lilo. And WTF is up with her boobs in pic 2? Well, actually, in all of them? I agree with the previous poster – when she gets this legal drama behind her (IF?), then the real fun will begin again. Woo-hoo! (*sips cracktini*)

  13. DetRiotGirl says:

    For the love of God, someone get this girl some hair dye and make this blonde madness stop! She’s done enough to age herself from the inside, why does she insist on aging herself on the outside with that horribly unflattering hair color too?

  14. ShanKat says:

    A friend of mine is a stylist in L.A., and he says Linds describes her ‘do as a “Game of Thrones” thing.

    I’d also believe simple crack delusion. She probably convinces herself that everyone is just “jealous” because it looks so fierce.

    • gg says:

      I think she probably thinks her mom looks hot with her blondy hair, and wouldn’t she look really hot too, but even hotter if she were even blonder and competition in the hot department with her mom (her thoughts, not mine), thus the overdone bleach job. One perq – maybe even a little cheaper since she skips the toner part – just straight bleach.

  15. the original bellaluna says:

    Love how she just flounces into court, pendulous boobies a-swinging.

  16. the original bellaluna says:

    I give her until after NY’s to F-up. She’s headed to NYC to spend the Holidays with “family” (read: johns) and you know how she gets in NYC.

    Personally, I’m hoping for some kissing-the-pavement “paps tripped me” drunk pix. And a couple more of her doing lines wouldn’t suck either.

    Plus, she has to do her 12 days of CS before her Jan 17 court date. (Did you see the little crackie try to get out of having to appear? Silly little crackhead!)

  17. Kat says:

    She has that “barely clutching on to reality” look in those screencaps that both Courtney Love and Winona Ryder had when they appeared in court. It’s a bit creepy and sad. I also think it’s because she’s overdone the lip injections. Not a good look when the duck lips go floppy.

  18. wunder says:

    If she’s even half way improved, she’ll avoid having any more incidents BUT this chick is borderline, so expect the crack crazy to come out soon.

  19. Sapphire says:

    God, someone hand me a cracktini or cosmo with the crushed percosets on the rim! I just read the TMZ stuff and almost barfed-“killed it”?, “blown away”? When you do a minimum community service gig? That’s not even having to get up early 5 days a week.

  20. Sapphire says:

    And at 25, she needs a lift and a re-do of those implants-tissue stretchs when you don’t wear a bra!

  21. novaraen says:

    I’m sure that none of this “stellar” work she is doing is sinking in to her thick crackie skull. She’s only doing it because she pushed the judge too close the last time and so now she’s decided to be good for the time being. Once she’s clear of all this she’ll be back to working her crackie stroll. Trust.

  22. judyjudy says:

    She looks plain awful.

  23. Firecracker says:

    This was a big ol yawn fest like I thought it’d be. Just so sickeningly sweet. I like it much better when Liho screws up!

    • Madisyn says:

      I think she did screw up. She suckered the p.o. into thinking her sisters birthday on Dec. 22nd was a holiday, so it was OK to go to Hawaii. My gawd, what did Blohan do to this judge to fawn all over her like that?

      Like she’s not going to be with Ali either in NY or LA for the holidays and her birthday.

      Amazing how she manipulates the judges EXACT WORDS to her advantage, when that clearly wasn’t the judges intent, yet ultimately its the p.o. fault for allowing it and the judges fault for condoning it.

  24. birdie says:

    She will mess up in no time! Hohan doesn’t have the discipline to go through with it, her little success will go to her head and she will think she is untouchable. Her trip to Hawaii showed how she even makes vacation look like a crackfest.
    Just lean back and enjoy the show.

  25. Garoto says:

    Widdle Windsay went to the beach, stupid chick,
    After losing 10 grand – what the frick??
    So what did she do?
    Flash her boobs (and butt, too)
    Which made all the paps deathly sick.

    Widdle Windsay, with her letter all “glowing,”
    Appeared in court, her confidence growing.
    She sat alert and upright,
    But was thinking about tonight,
    And wondering who she’d be blowing.

  26. hillbilly in the corner says:

    LOL…….
    She looked like hell, no sleep, her nose puffed up like a bee sting from sniffing to much coke this weekend and was high ..if they had done a drug test she would have blown it of the scale…
    Did you notice they way they skipped over her not that right NOT have permission for Hawaii that was legal but judges slipped it on by…and gives her 3 weeks in NY to earn her some spending money cause I garentee she’s goina need it when Hefner sues her ass off for breach of contract and demands his money back…and if his people figure out her people leaked those pictures LOL doesn’t mader now anyway
    cause she had killed any remote change of turning her down slide around…the monment she screwed Hefner and took off for Hawaii she killed it..
    He may smile and wave it off but inside he is steaming and she will pay..
    Hope her pimpdaddy Vikcum is still in the picture cause she’s goin need him to get her some “jobs entertaining the russian mob bosses like last time” because she is dead in hollywood…

  27. Madisyn says:

    I read the probation report. NO WHERE does it say anthing about “stellar” or a “delight to work with and hard working”. Its your standarized ‘she complied’, thats it. Gawwwd!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      In what universe does “she complied” equal a “glowing” and “stellar” probation report. This judge must be very into the shots of delusion!

  28. Hellen says:

    @DENA – Just to make my post clear, and to apologize to you for any misunderstanding: I was replying to “Taylor” up there at #5, who sounds suspiciously like Dina Lohan defending her poor victimized “child”.

  29. Madisyn says:

    Look at that top pic in the black blouse. Her tits are hanging down her stomache, almost reaching her belly button, FFS. Talk about how false that PB shoot was, shit, even I thought the boobs looked great, problem is, they’re not hers.

  30. Garoto says:

    Widdle Windsay, whose frame is quite lank,
    Sat before Sautner, who’s built like a tank.
    The judge would like to see less
    Of this cracked-out hot mess,
    “Lord, let me be rid of this skank!”

    Widdle Windsay, reeking of crack,
    Sat in court, her teeth covered with plaque.
    “At the morgue I do great!
    Working hard – never late!”
    (But we all know she doesn’t do jack).

  31. Cathy says:

    I watched the court appearance on tmz and had to go bleach my eyes and take a nap. Gawd it was awful

  32. Orange Cone says:

    Lilo’s butt looks like Mikey Butts’ butt from The Oblongs…

    this is the only picture I could find:

    http://www.tvrage.com/shows/id-6056/character_guide?character=3041

  33. BitchyKaren says:

    A few months ago I thought she could still pull a Britney and shock us with a comeback. No. Not anymore. And I think she is aware of this now. After Playboy, there’s just no other way to go but go down even further. And she’s milking this by “portraying” the troubled starlet image. She will continue to self destruct coz she knows that’s only way she could ever make headlines now and stay relevant. Sad.

  34. Paul Frehley says:

    I say let the Blowhan supporters have their moment. We non supports sure have had ours for the past few years.

    We level headed thinking non supporters know that Blowhan can’t keep up the game she’s playing and before long she’ll be back to her old ways.

  35. Bess says:

    Linnocent’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, is married to one of the guys in the Jay Leno band. She’ll probably get booked on the Tonight Show to fulfill the PB contact. The little Crackie will slither on in & get away with the Ellen show no-show.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      If I was Jay, I wouldn’t have her on the show. Lord only knows what diseases she’d give the couch!

  36. Hugh Mungus says:

    Deathpool 2012

  37. Garoto says:

    Widdle Windsay was happy, for real,
    Sautner had given her such a great deal!
    “Every day I just blow
    The morgue boss, then I go!
    Then I find me some jewelry to steal!”

    Widdle Windsay, the butt of Hollywood jokes,
    Needs to work, but she pisses off folks.
    “I’ll do whatever it takes!
    I’ll work without breaks!
    For a fifth and a full pack of smokes!”

  38. betty says:

    Different topic… what is her lawyer wearing? She’s in a courtroom, with no sleeves? In a top that looks like a mother of the bride at an after-party?

    What is that?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      In December, no less. And if she was wearing a blazer, she should have left it on.

      I don’t recall ever seeing a male lawyer in court with his tie yanked off or his blazer on the back of his chair.

  39. skuddles says:

    Holy freaking flopping funbags!

    How is it that this girl, even when dressed all “classy”, still manages to look like she just crawled out of the crackhouse after an all night gang-bang??

  40. Dena says:

    @Hellen, no worries 🙂

  41. whatevs says:

    jail this crackie sociopath! anybody else would have been doing time for far, far less than what she’s done. she’s got great karma coming her way

  42. Bess says:

    I don’t understand how LL got away with going to Hawaii. The judge said it was okay b/c it was “family time”?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Apparently, birthdays (which Ali’s isn’t until 12/22) are considered “holidays.” Don’t you wish you lived in that world?