It seems like forever since Tom Cruise was announced to play Stacee Jaxx in the movie adaptation of Broadway’s Rock of Ages, and at this point, I’m just ready to get this painful mess over with when the movie releases on June 15. Of course, we’ve already had to endure Tom rocking out on a balcony to universal cringes because he (presumably) felt the world deserved a preview of the fruits of his 10 hour per day song and dance regime. This is not to say that witnessing Tom as a rock star hasn’t been somewhat enjoyable, what with the rock-star lifts and the shirtless writhing from the movie’s first trailer. I’ll admit that the first one really was a campy and fun trailer to behold in a “so bad it’s kind of good” sort of way, but the second theatrical trailer has been released, and it’s just a mess. Check it out, and we’ll discuss:
This trailer really seems like no one bothered to seriously edit it beyond tossing a bunch of flashing lights and scenes together. Why did anyone feel that including anger-bear Alec Baldwin saying “omigod, I just threw up … in my pants” was a necessity? Beyond that, Julianne Hough is a cutie (on paper, this movie seems like the ideal role to showcase her talents), but try as I might, I just can’t warm up to Diego Bonita. Russell Brand’s hair looks even more ridiculous than usual, and Paul Giamatti and Catherine Zeta-Jones are clearly there for the paychecks. As for Tom belting out Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” … I’m feeling very underwhelmed. Tom should’ve added more cheese, but it seems like he’s taking the role quite seriously. No surprises there, right?
Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto and New Line Cinema
I’m watching it!
I think this will be FUN.
oh. my. god….
I got douche chills watching this.
no no no a BIG NOOOO this!!
I’ll go see the real bands who are still out there when they tour, thank you.
+1
thank you so much for the phrase “douche chills”
It looks cheesy as hell but I will go see it. Alec Baldwin is a total a** but I love him.
Right?! A.Baldwin foreva! I love him. BUT I still won’t go to see this movie. It just looks too terrible for my hard earned 7 euros.
my future guilty pleasure:it looks just awfully fun
agreed! It looks like a big bowl of ridiculousness: just perfect summer fun!
Plus that line:
-OMG I just threw up!
-Where?
-In my pants!
Too ridiculous: too funny. Only A. Baldwin can get away with this! Schwetty Balls! I want some Schwetty Balls! lol (for those not in the know, look it up on youtube, SNL Alec Baldwin, classic skit)
My grandpa..what mighty short legs you have..
Not dreadful. A cheesy, fun mess! I will see it and I will love it.
I think it looks really fun too, and I don’t even like the music. Or Tom Cruise.
I think it looks like a lot of fun. I mean most comedies and musicals suck anyway, but this looks .. like fun. The cheesy one-liners seem to have become a regular thing in trailers now (puke in pants..)!
I think you’re too hard on it? Sure it’s ridiculous, and sure Cruise can’t act, but didn’t we know that already and what’s more ridiculous than hard rock?
*Guiltily looks over her shoulder.*
I think it will be cheesily fantastic. Of course, I am the one that actually was amused by Burlesque. We will see if I go see it in the theaters or just wait for Netflix but either way I do want to see it.
i kinda feel sorry for julianne hough. she got the lead in footloose and now this, but i don’t think they are going to be the star vehicles she hoped for.
she is also totally forgettable.
i can’t even start on tom cruise…he gives me the creeps.
Just say NO!
I was a teen in the 80s-hated the music and big hair look then-so no nostalgia for me. I’ll take a pass although I do love CZJ in musicals (she was great in Chicago).
This looks ridiculous, therefore I’ll be there on the first day!
Plus I can’t wait for the soundtrack….
Total Camp. Looking forward to seeing it – looks like a great summer night out.
i can’t really tell what this movie is about from this mess of a trailer… and what are alec baldwin and mary j. blige doing in the clusterf***? tom cruise – ugh. he shouldn’t touch bon jovi classics.
This actually looks really funny, the casting works for me too.
I think this movie will be so bad, it’ll be AWESOME. Like Showgirls. Bring it on. (But Diego Boneta is doing nothing for me in the trailer.) Tom Cruise looks cheesy and not in on the joke…Alec Baldwin is chewing scenery like a cow chewing cud, I wanna see more from my boy Rusty Brand, and Julianne is passable. I CAN’T WAIT. lol
ITA, but it has to be more epic than Showgirls. Tom looks clueless to me as well. I’d never pay to see this, but Netflix as a laugh? Yeah, maybe. The hair is just worse than ever, worse than it was then. Pure velveeta!
I would have watched it, had they cast anyone but the Crazy $cientoBot.
This is just every kind of NO. (Didn’t watch – can’t un-see.)
This is going to be an epic failure!
I cant imagine many peeps paying full price to see this. Epic failure. Maybe of cosmically funny results.
plus 1
I was in my 20’s in the 80’s, and I loved hard rock. Laurie said it best, I’ll just go see the bands. Alec Baldwin is an ass, but, I like him a WHOLE lot better than Tom Cruise. IMO, that man is certifiable. (sp)
This man is going to be with Beyoncè in the remake of a Star is born. THAT will be an epic mess.
tom cruise looks like a spent piece of jet trash. like joan jetts hemroid. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I don’t care much for Tom Cruise but I wish I had one-tenth the discipline and drive he has that gets him in that kind of shape at his age and that gives him so much energy.
Stacee Jax is supposed to be a douche. Tom Cruise is perfect. Douchiest douche. Movie looks awesome. I saw this on stage and although it requires zero brain cells to watch, it is highly entertaining.
agreed. good casting. an actor who takes himself way too seriously playing a character who takes himself way too seriously, while everyone else is larking it up? brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. it looks like a good cheesy movie to watch on a friday night and to forget immediately after.
God this movie looks so awful. I don’t think I’d even rent it. Who ever wrote that mess needs to find a new job…
WOW! I couldnt even watch past 60 seconds of the trailer. This movie looks SOOOOO bad. Like a cheap ass version of Chicago meets Rock Star.
Tom Cruise is the only role/part that seems decent.
I just threw up in my pants watching this crap!
Not nearly as awful as I was expecting. It looks fun and rather spoofish. Might be a decent summer popcorn flick.
How many times simy posted here?
How many times his crew posted here?
As of me, all I can say is familiar songs.Will I pay to see it ? no.
I loved this musical when I saw it on Broadway in 2010. Great cast (Constantine Maroulis, Mitchell Jarvis, Kerry Butler and the hilarious James Carpinello as Stacee Jaxx) and yes, it was campy, but so much fun and the audience really got into it. We were all singing and dancing, and having come straight from work, I felt a little out of place, as most of the audienced was decked out in 80’s gear – mini skirts, leggings, bustier tops, leather, fishnet stockings and lots of big hair for the gals and black jeans, t-shirts, leather, bandanas, and, yes, even mullets for the guys). Parents who grew up listening to the music the first time around brought their kids, who knew the songs by heart. What a fantastic evening!
I saw it again in LA about a year later and it was a completely different show. Constantine was still in the lead role, but I don’t think it was the different cast that made it not quite as good as the first time I saw it. Since it was opening night, the audience was packed with celebs and reality stars, (e.g., Lisa Vanderpump was there and all decked out in diamonds)and the audience just didn’t seem to get into the show like they had in NY. I was really disappointed.
Then, I heard about the movie, which probably explains why people like Julianne Hough were there that night. The idea of Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx is almost too much for me. It is great casting though…:)
I’ll probably wait until it comes out on video. Unless it miraculously becomes another cult classic, like “Rocky Horror,” I think I have already seen the best performance.
Forgive me for asking, but after so many stars seem to have surgery I can’t help but wonder… are his cheekbones / muscles enhanced?
You people who will PAY to see this awful mess, CAN NOT then complain when Hollywood won’t make great films.
You will get exactly what your money asked for.
Have at it, but absolutley none of it for me. Funny is one thing, but this can’t even be called funny. Not renting it either.
I am NO fool and won’t be played like one either.
I get nauseated when I see this trailer. I worshiped the Off-Broadway version of this show (they changed it when it went to Broadway and it lost some of it’s sharp humor). I saw the definitive Stacee Jaxx, Will Swenson. His version of “I Wanna Know What Love Is” was so perfect that they had to change it for Broadway because no one would ever be able to do it the way he did. Will has a huge sense of irony and isn’t afraid to be ridiculous, which is what it takes to be Stacee. I still laugh when I think of him using a bathroom stall as a jungle gym. There’s a promo piece for the OB production and there’s a great clip of him in it. Makes me sad what they did to this show to make it a film.
If they HAD to do it, Russell would have been a better choice to play Stacee. Tom could have played Lonny. He’s better suited for that part than Russell (I’m sure he would NEVER have taken that role being what it is, though I wonder if they changed it for the film.)
Man, I think they totally know how to sell. The scenes are cut beautifully and make sense.The “throw in pants” has some purposes, man. U just dont know it then. The scenes of Tom Cruise are so cool and well-treated with visual and sound(especially in the Dead or alive song). I definitely want to go to the cinema, although I know the movie could be not that good. But still, I want to go to see it.
The movie was awesome, and a bunch of scenes put together is what a trailer is.
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