Lindsay Lohan is looking rough and a little bloated lately. I’m not saying she’s fat by any means, she just seems like she’s been neglecting her health and it shows on her face and frame. She’s got that worn out look that comes with constant partying.

There have been a lot of stories about Lindsay this past week, and I just haven’t covered them because she’s a train wreck and seems to be going downhill fast.

Last night Lindsay told paparazzi agency X17 that Paris Hilton hit her arm. They have a video of her showing a faint bruise on her inner arm and saying the Paris was at a party at Lindsay’s friend’s house and that “she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me, and it hurts and it’s not OK.”

She also said “I’m sorry for everyone that thinks I’m crazy. I’m not, I’m just trying to act.”

Lindsay, you’re protesting too much. Let’s review the reasons why people think she’s crazy this week. We’re not including the fact that Lindsay flashes her kitty to the paps all the time, and is probably pissed that Britney is now using her tried and true strategy to greater effect.

• She hooked up with scumbag Calum Best while in London last week. The British rags had a field day with Lindsay, saying that she tried to get staff at the hotel where she were staying to lock Calum up in her room so he wouldn’t leave on a business trip.

  Calum promptly hooked up with another woman on his flight to Ireland in an attempt to move on as quickly as possible. He was also quoted by the Irish press as saying “I’m very definitely single.”
  

• Lindsay was snapped by the paparazzi while shopping at Planet Blue in Malibu, but was mighty pissed when they all bailed to get shots of Paris and Britney, who arrived together 45 minutes lately. Lainey’s gossip speculates that this may have prompted her little video confessional to x17 about Paris dousing her with a drink.
  

• The National Enquirer reported that Lindsay ODed on cocaine and painkillers on November 12 in her room at the Chateau Marmot, and that a doctor was called to treat her. He got rid of all the drugs in her room and told her to go to the hospital. Once Lindsay regained consciousness she refused further treatment.
  

• Lohan was in yet another car accident while in Londan last week. Her vehicle rammed into a police car, making it her fourth accident in a year and a half.

Britney and Paris might be vag-slipping weave-wearing trash sisters, but Lohan is of another breed entirely. She needs to call Ben Affleck and figure out how to lay low and reinvent herself while finding joy in the simpler things in life. There’s a rumor that she’s dying to play Stevie Nicks in an upcoming biopic, and considering that Nicks is a singer who admitted to a debilitating cocaine habit, it seems like a role Lohan would excel in. If she wants to get any other acting gigs, she needs to move out of Hollywood and go to rehab and therapy.

Pictures from Splash News Online and Celebrity Puke. Used with permission. Celebrity Puke wrote the jowls thing on Lindsay’s picture.