Last Friday, Lindsay Lohan crashed her (rented) Porsche into the back of an 18-wheeler. Cracktastrophe, crack drama and crack denials ensued. Because Lindsay’s brain is so fried and permanently pickled, she and her crack team of handlers/enablers had a hell of time getting their stories straight. If you’d like to see recap all of the events as of Sunday, go here. I’m not even going to bother trying summarize beyond “Bitch is a crack liar, and the state of California is a g–damn joke.” So, what new information do we have now? Lots and lots. Bullet points!

*Larry Thompson, the producer of Liz & Dick, told Deadline that Lindsay is “shaken but not stirred… She wants to work, we are sending her to makeup hoping to resume production and get as much as we can done.” Even though Lindsay came to work after her ten-second trip to the hospital, producers had to rearrange the schedule because of the extensive makeup work that needs to be done to cover A) Lindsay’s bruises and B) Lindsay’s crack face.

*Thompson also told Deadline that Lindsay isn’t supposed to be driving – his production company provides Lindsay a limousine to and from work, but on Friday “When they went to pick her up today, for some reason she decided they (Lohan and her assistant) would get in her own car, so the limousine driver followed them.” Thompson has already alerted the insurance company that the production is already losing money, and Thompson says, “I was nervous before the movie started, now I’m just petrified… I was telling someone: Lindsay went to the doctor, and I should go see a psychiatrist.” For God’s sake – don’t act like you didn’t KNOW something was going to happen. It’s Lindsay Lohan, for the love of God. OF COURSE she’s going to act like a crackhead. Why are people expressing surprise?

*Meanwhile, Lindsay’s poor cracked-out rep Steve Honig was sent out to formally deny certain aspects of the story to People Magazine. Honig tells People, “Lindsay cooperated fully with law enforcement. She has answered all their questions and provided them with everything they have asked for.” Honig also slams the other driver for his allegations that LL was trying to bribe him – Honig says, “It seems to me once he realized he wasn’t going to get anything from Lindsay he decided to get cash by telling tales to the tabloids. I hope he got whatever money he was looking for. Personally, all I care about is that Lindsay and [her assistant] Gavin are okay.” Oh, STFU.

*BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TMZ reported on Monday that “law enforcement sources” are telling them that “Lindsay Lohan lied to cops Friday by telling them she was NOT driving the Porsche that slammed into a truck on the Pacific Coast Highway, and as a result she could be prosecuted and her probation could be revoked.” When Lindsay was in the hospital right after the accident, cops from the Santa Monica Police Dept. took her statement, and “Lindsay told police she was a passenger in the Porsche and her assistant was driving. But the lie didn’t stick because later Lindsay’s assistant told police Lindsay was behind the wheel.” Witnesses saw Lindsay behind the wheel too, and why would her initial story be “he cut me off” and “my brakes failed” if she wasn’t driving?

*So what could come out of Lindsay telling police officers flat-out crack lies? I believe the state of California’s penalty for “a celebrity lying to a police officer” is “a slap on the firecrotch.” In reality, TMZ says that it’s a crime to provide false information to a police officer and considering Lindsay is STILL on probation, she could be violated and sent to jail. Which won’t happen.

Photos courtesy of WENN.