Yesterday, we briefly discussed the latest epic Lindsay Lohan cracktastrophe, otherwise known as her life. I had pre-written the piece, and I kept having to update it with new information about her crack heist and how that rich dude (who no one knows…?) is in love with her because of magical crack beejs or whatever. I ended up tacking the story about the Cracken getting kicked out of the Marmont at the end of the post because I was so sick of discussing her – let me try to make up for that right now!

So, Lindsay was told to move her crap out of the Marmont as of August 1st, and according to TMZ, Lindsay has been banned from the hotel too. The reason? Crack shenanigans with Terry Richardson and Lady Gaga, perchance? Nope. Lindsay didn’t pay her $46,350.04 bill for her stay at the Chateau during June and July. Two months of charges included $3,145.07 for the mini-bar, $686 for cigarettes, a Chateau Candle for $100 and $1,992.07 worth of food at the Marmont’s restaurant. So, obviously, the story was (and is) that Lindsay is poor, that she is too crackie to pay her bills, that she’s a mess.

But! The Crack has crack excuses, of course. According to TMZ, Lindsay is “telling friends” that in her crack-addled mind, she believed that the producers of Lifetime’s Liz & Dick were going to pay her bill, because she was filming Liz & Dick at the time. TMZ says, “Lindsay claims producers agreed to cover her stay at L.A.’s Chateau Marmont while she filmed “Liz & Dick” earlier this summer — so she was shocked to learn there was an outstanding 5-figure bill in her name … and even more shocked when she was banned from the hotel when the bill went unpaid. We’re told Lindsay is currently trying to sort the problem out with producers — and if they refuse to pay, Lindsay will happily cover the tab.”

Believe it or not, I kind of think this is a half-decent crack excuse – film producers and studios often pay for their stars’ hotel bills, or give them a stipend to stay wherever they want. Of course, those actors are usually legit stars, not crack monsters with duck lips who will steal anything not nailed down. Which brings me to the last TMZ story – their sources close to Lifetime claim that “the production NEVER promised to foot the bill. Sources connected to Lindsay tell us … producers did give Lindsay a one-time only, $5,000 advance against her salary in late May so she could move into the hotel, but that was it. There was never even an insinuation the production company would pay her hotel bill.”

Well, Lindsay said she would take care of the bill if Lifetime won’t. But will she? Fox News Pop Tarts has a somewhat interesting summary of what’s been going down, and Fox’s source says, “Her problems are all catching up with her. And Lindsay seems to spend all the money she makes.” Yes. THIS. Of course, I still don’t think she’s going to jail or anything, but it would be interesting to know if she even had the money to pay the bill. Time for another international call girl operation, I’m assuming.

By the way, The Marmont management is PISSED that everything is so public with this Lohan situation – they issued a statement to The Mail which you can read here. Part of statement reads, “Chateau Marmont places guest privacy as a core value and upholds this privacy with paramount importance. After investigation, it appears that a private correspondence between Chateau Marmont’s general manager and Miss Lohan was leaked by a member of her entourage.” Not only did Lindsay fail to pay her bill, get banned from her favorite Crack Chateau, but SHE was the one to leak the story. Hilarious.

Here are some shots of Lindsay’s last photo shoot at the Marmont in June, with Terry Richardson of course. You can see more of that photo shoot here – that was the one where she was playing with a gun. Cracken on a Hot Tin Roof.

Photos courtesy of Lindsay’s Twitter, Terry’s Diary.